Masturbation and Mortal Sin

[EmbarrasedFein]

Thanks for all the replies. The problem that is getting to me is that I feel like a horrible person. Pride is not a factor in this though, I have asked God to send the Holy Spirit upon me and help me turn away from sin. I am so conflicted with all the answers in this forum. Like there must be something wrong with me. To finish off, a side question, what if I wanted to repent to God himself, why couldn’t I does he listen more exclusively to priests than he does everyone? I am not bashing Penance at all since it is too a humbling sacrament to confess your sins to another man. The feelings after the ‘action’ is done are terrible and makes me feel that if I were to die at night, I would have a one way ticket to hell. :sad_bye:

 

[TedDC]

Fein - you are sixteen years old, congrats! I’m Catholic, but on this point I disagree with the teachings of the Church (go ahead and flame me guys, I can take it!). If you have read much on human development and psychology, you would find that masturbation is perfectly “normal” in sixteen year old males AND females. If the supposed cause and effect of masturbation were indeed fact, then our entire world would be filled with deviants. Our world has deviants, but a minute number compared to the humans that are normal sexual beings. Masturbation is not going to make you a rapist, porno lover or gay! Please try and enjoy being sixteen! You are not the only human that has struggled with thinking they were going to hell if they masturbated, I only wish you were the last one to have to deal with that nonsense.

I have never seen an explanation for the Church’s blanket condemnation of masturbation that does not devolve into “because the Church says so”.

 

[davidv]

I have never seen an explanation for the Church’s blanket condemnation of masturbation that does not devolve into “because the Church says so”.

Could it be that you have ignored the explanations given? Pope John Paul II, in his Theology of the Body provides pages upon pages of explanation that go well beyond “because the Church says so”.

Defining the misuse of our sexuality (e.g., masturbation) as immoral, is based on the true nature of Man that is set forth, and revealed, in the first two books of Genesis.

 

[davidv]

Thanks for all the replies. The problem that is getting to me is that I feel like a horrible person. Pride is not a factor in this though, I have asked God to send the Holy Spirit upon me and help me turn away from sin. I am so conflicted with all the answers in this forum. Like there must be something wrong with me. To finish off, a side question, what if I wanted to repent to God himself, why couldn’t I does he listen more exclusively to priests than he does everyone? I am not bashing Penance at all since it is too a humbling sacrament to confess your sins to another man. The feelings after the ‘action’ is done are terrible and makes me feel that if I were to die at night, I would have a one way ticket to hell. :sad_bye:

You could the confliction by discussing this problem with your confessor instead of on a public forum.

 

[twoangels]

Thanks for all the replies. The problem that is getting to me is that I feel like a horrible person. Pride is not a factor in this though, I have asked God to send the Holy Spirit upon me and help me turn away from sin.

Pride often disguises itself as false humility. It works this way. Your pride says “I must be like this to be a good and worthy person of God.” Then when you’re not that good, you mentally beat yourself up, “I’m horrible. I’m a failure.” Your pride can do a number of things at this point. It can seek to convince yourself that this beating yourself up is humility and thus a spiritual virtue to feel proud of. It can cause you to stubbornly avoid confession till you figure this sin out on your own. It can leave you with such a low opinion of yourself for such a long period of time, it becomes intolerable and you start looking to abandon the idea that the action is a sin in order to think better of yourself.

Humility is the gift to be able to see yourself as you are and as God sees you and to be merciful, patient and persevering. It allows you to recognize your need to overcome sins, but the fact that you commit these sins doesn’t torment you. You rest and gratitude for God’s mercy and love.

Praying to God in moments of temptation is a good thing, but you need to recognize that sin is going to happen. God isn’t a crutch to merely help stop you from sinning. Overall, you need to recognize that going to confession regularly is a part of your conversion process and that conversion is a lifelong event. Be patient with yourself.

I am so conflicted with all the answers in this forum. Like there must be something wrong with me.

Again, here, your beating yourself up with the notion that you ought to already be sinless or at least only commit the “meaningless venial sins” (which by the way aren’t meaningless). First off, God made every human being good. That said, we’re all born with original sin and even after baptism, we retain the effects of original sin. The key to being merciful to yourself and loving yourself is to take some steps toward humility and to accept that “Yes I am a sinner totally dependant on God’s mercy.” and to be at peace with that. Realize that God loves you. If God loves you, who are you to not love and accept yourself?

To finish off, a side question, what if I wanted to repent to God himself, why couldn’t I does he listen more exclusively to priests than he does everyone? I am not bashing Penance at all since it is too a humbling sacrament to confess your sins to another man. The feelings after the ‘action’ is done are terrible and makes me feel that if I were to die at night, I would have a one way ticket to hell. :sad_bye:

The devil is the tempter before you sin and then the accuser after you sin. At least that is what they say. You are very right in pointing out that that going to confession is a humbling experience. Since Adam’s sin was pride and the root of all sin is pride, it would make since that God’s primary solution would be a humbling act. That is not to say that there aren’t sacramental graces to gain from it independant of the psychological effects.

Something I noticed in my engagement with my husband was that when we’d fall into impure acts, I’d beat myself mentally up to the point that I couldn’t adequately examin the rest of my conscience. It was when I started looking at “why? What is holding me back from seeing other sins?” that I began to see the other sins. 1. I was wanting to be chaste not for love of God so much but because I wanted to be boostful and better than those people who committed unchaste acts. 2. I still found that I wanted credit for the sexual sins I hadn’t done. I wanted the priest to know those unchaste acts weren’t intercourse. I was technically still a virgin. 3. I thought that the more anxiety and depressed feelings I had about the sin was an expression of how contrite I was. I realized it wasn’t. It was all pride.

So for the next intervals between my confessions, I worked on not beating myself up. I then expressed in the confessional that I no longer knew how contrite I was for the sins when I wasn’t beating myself up or at least I was aware at how comparably small my contrition was to what I had previously thought it to be. The priest simply assured me that I needn’t worry about how imperfect my contrition was because the fact that I was still coming to confession and striving to persevere even in such a small way was still my movement toward God. There was sufficient contrition to still receive God’s mercy. I also realized that throughout those many months of frequent confession, God was helping me to look at myself more deeply and to grow spiritually. I could still see that I was overall letting go of more and more and becoming more free to hand more of myself to God. It just wasn’t in the way or order I expected it to be.

That said, I do remember about a decade ago coming to the realization that God tends not to allow us to see all of our sins because our pride tends to be so large that if we saw them all, we’d fall into despair and never progress.

Try not to fret. Rely on the sacramental resources God has given you. Another great thing about learning to be merciful to yourself is that it teaches you to be merciful to others.

 

[Joe_5859]

Thanks for all the replies. The problem that is getting to me is that I feel like a horrible person. Pride is not a factor in this though, I have asked God to send the Holy Spirit upon me and help me turn away from sin. I am so conflicted with all the answers in this forum. Like there must be something wrong with me. To finish off, a side question, what if I wanted to repent to God himself, why couldn’t I does he listen more exclusively to priests than he does everyone? I am not bashing Penance at all since it is too a humbling sacrament to confess your sins to another man. The feelings after the ‘action’ is done are terrible and makes me feel that if I were to die at night, I would have a one way ticket to hell. :sad_bye:

Welcome to CAF, Fein! Take courage. You are not alone!

First, since you’re new here, I want to apologize for those who have turned your thread of sincere seeking into yet another opportunity to debate the morality of masturbation. Take it to another thread, guys!

In response to your initial post, it seems you wanted a bit of clarification on what constitutes a “mortal sin”. For a sin to be mortal, three conditions must be met: (1) grave matter; (2) full knowledge; and (3) complete consent. (For a full explanation, look at the Catechism of the Catholic Church, paragraphs # 1854-1864, especially CCC 1857-1861… Also, look at CCC 2352 on masturbation and the sincere pastoral concern the Church shows towards those who struggle with this particular sin.)

This is what your priest was referring to. As CCC 2352 states, a person’s maturity, force of habit, etc. can really minimize one’s ability to freely consent to this sin. Of course, this does not mean that you should simply proceed and not worry about the sin at all. It is still grave matter and you want to work towards overcoming it. But don’t despair of your salvation.

People commonly use the terms “mortal sin” and “grave sin” interchangeably, which is understandable, but can add to people’s confusion. Us outsiders here can speak to what is grave matter, but none of us is qualified to speak about another’s level of knowledge or consent. That’s up to each individual to parse out with their priest (as you have started to do…good for you! )

Know that God loves you immensely. He isn’t out to trap you or catch you off guard and send you to hell. He is a God of infinite mercy. God provides us, through the Church, the Sacrament of Reconciliation as a sure means to be reconciled with Him and His Body, the Church. Take advantage of that sacrament as often as you falter in this area. There is no substitute. Each time you confess this particular sin, know that God is giving you more and more actual grace to overcome temptation in this specific area.

I heard a wise man once say that we should think of God’s perfect Judgment before we sin and of God’s unending Mercy after we sin. Satan likes to tempt us to do the reverse. I think this dynamic is very pronounced with this sin in particular. Satan wants us to think “Oh, God will forgive me” in the moment of temptation to make it easy for us to fall. Then, once we have fallen, he wants us to think “Oh, God will never forgive this sin”. Do not be sucked into this way of thinking! God will always forgive you. But, please, go to Confession! There’s no shame in it. We should all be going to Confession regularly anyway.

I will keep you in my prayers, Fein. Pray for me, too!

 

[Mickey]

Try not burden yourself thinking this is a very serious sin. It is not.

Yes it is…and the Orthodox Church teaches that it is very serious…just as the Catholic Church does. Please try to refrain from offering false teachings.

 

[DavidKays]

Yes it is…and the Orthodox Church teaches that it is very serious…just as the Catholic Church does. Please try to refrain from offering false teachings.

If I thought it was false I would not have said it. I get tired of the people in the Church who think they have a better understanding in this issue than what God thinks. If you read my post with an open mind you will have better understood it. The issue here is not that it is very serious but is it very serious before God. Now read my post again sir and before you tell me that it is false teaching I want you to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church that declares that the responsibility is nil in cases of immaturity. Now you seem to be an older person on this website so you have maturity. Fine. That is good for you but we are talking about younger people. Now the Orthodox Church depending on who interprets this will agree what I said or disagree. But before you make statements on whether what the whole Orthodox has said please check it out before you come to me and make statements like you do. I have talk to many Orthodox priests and they do not think it as mortal. Same with the many Catholic priests on the Island. Why will God condemn such an action? It seems to me you do that and not God. So the young person thinks God has the same feelings. Come on. These young people do not need the likes of you to tell them something that is not that serious. They are growing up and with all that pressure they receive today I am amazed at people who do not quite understand what pressures these young people are getting. I am sure God does not approve of such actions as the Church did in the past by thinking that masturbation is very sinful. Why do you think many people are not going to Church these days? Is it not because the Church can be too harsh on this issue. We are being more educated on this and the Church has come to realize that it was too hard on this issue and too harsh for handling it with young people. Do you know why the Catholic Church decided it was a mortal sin many years ago. Because the waste of the seed was considered wrong because each seed is like a person. But that kind of thinking was illogical because how can the seed be a person for it needs an egg for it to be realised. That is how this rational got wrong. It is OK to waste the seed in a dream but not in any other case. But the Church has become more understanding from doctors and science and now the Church is not ready to condemn such a person as it did in the past. May by the old generation and its ways will have to die so that the Church can go ahead and help our young people with the better understandings that today brings. I have taught over 100 young people in my Church been like an older brother for them and I have alot of success with them. One of my boys has become a priest, many have succesful marriages, quite a few have become leaders in the Church. Is this false teaching sir! All of my boys except for a few have remained faithful to the Church. They have grown to be respectful citizens and my success is because I treat them as God will treat them. You shall know them from their fruit says Our Lord Jesus. I have never encountered any serious problem with any of my boys. They have grown to respect what I have taught them. I teach many of the boys on the Altar and where ever I have been the boys are attracted to serve in the Church. I had as many as 30 boys in my 1st Church and now in my second Church we have a tremondous amount of Altar servers where you can see sometimes 15 to 18 boys on 1 Sunday. I relate well with young people and they have responded well. My teachings have always been to help them better understand their relationship with God. I have been praised for the excellent way of reaching to them so that they can better understand the mysteries of God. Before you call the kettle black make sure it is a kettle. My methods tend to be line with with the better understandings that the Church is coming into. If my methods and teachings are false then explain sir why are most of my people still involving themselves in the Church. Do not judge until you see the results! Ok.

 

[JAW642]

---

To: EmbarrasedFien

From: JAW642 on 12/07/2010

---

EmbarrasedFien,

Why don’t you accept the decision and advice of the priest who spoke to you? You are NOT a horrible person. You are a normal teen male. You should believe that God is speaking to you, THROUGH THIS PRIEST, and is telling you that whatever you are doing with your penis, as you are trying to fall asleep or waking up, is normal for a teen male, and is NOT mortal sin to Him, even if it may possible be grave matter, under different circumstances, like if you were in your thirties and married. I do not want to believe that God will put all teen males into hell for a reasonable and normal amount of sexual activity during the teenage years. You should trust more in God, and you should not allow these normal physical actions to hinder your good spiritual relationship with God.

Even if you continue your actions to the point that it result in your penis spontaneously and automatically ejaculating. As long as you have expended some degree of effort to resist the temptation, that effort should be enough proof that you cannot have FULL Consent. If you do not have FULL Consent, then the most your actions can be is venial in nature. Now if you do the same things in the middle of the afternoon, when you do not have diminished and impaired reasoning ability, it should be harder to conclude that your FULL Consent was not present, since you should probably have more control over your thoughts and actions during the daytime than you do while you are trying to sleep.

---

Pretty much, to commit a mortal sin, one must be positively SURE and positively BELIEVE that what he is doing is mortally wrong, and he must positively KNOW that he is committing a mortal sin. And then basically say, I positively KNOW this act is a mortal sin, but I don’t care, so I am going to do it anyway. If he believes that what he is doing is NOT mortally sinful, or if he is not SURE whether or not it is mortally sinful, then NO mortal sin can be committed.

The Catholic Church says that if you are unsure of whether or not you have committed a mortal sin, YOU DEFINITELY HAVE NOT COMMITTED A MORTAL SIN. Mortal sins leave no room for uncertainty and must be deliberate. The Catholic Church defines such uncertain acts as ‘Doubtful Sins’, and the Church does not require them to be confessed, since they are not Mortal Sins.

---

From JAW642 on 12/07/2010

---

 

[JAW642]

---

To: EmbarrasedFien

From: JAW642 on 12/07/2010

---

Masturbation
Overcoming the Masturbation Habit

couragerc.net/PIPMasturbation.html

Morality of Masturbatory Activity

Father Farraher also points out that sexual stimulation by a married couple is morally licit if it leads to natural vaginal intercourse or completes the marital act.'2 Farraher is very exact about what constitutes grave malice in masturbation when he writes: "for a person to be formally guilty of a mortal sin of masturbation his act must be a fully deliberate choice of what he fully realizes is seriously sinful."13 If such an act is done with only partial realization, or partial consent of the will, it is a venial sin; and “if there is no free choice of the will there is no guilt of sin at all even if the person is aware of what he is doing.”'4 Farraher goes on to point out that there is no sin even when a person foresees that sexual stimulation and orgasm will result from some action that the person is freely performing, provided that he does not intend such stimulation, but merely permits it, and that he has a sufficiently good reason for doing it. (This is simply an application of the principle of the twofold effect.)'5

Farraher corrects the misunderstanding that many Catholics have that if they experience sexual stimulation, however unwillingly, they have committed mortal sin.16

Distinction between Past Behavior and the Present

There is a little freedom, but hardly sufficient to constitute serious guilt. This is even more true when persons struggle against this impulse when they are trying to sleep at night, or are surprised by temptation in the middle of the night or upon awakening. Farraher comments at length on these situations in which the individual who has resisted the temptation to masturbate during waking hours is sometimes overwhelmed with sexual fantasies as he tries to go to sleep, or upon awakening in the morning. As long as the person makes a real effort to turn his mind away, he commits no sin even if orgasm occurs. If he is uncertain whether he really tried hard enough to get rid of fantasy, he may settle the doubt in favor of his innocence. According to traditional norms of moral theology one may presume that his intention during waking hours was also present in the moment of nocturnal temptation. Confessors and spiritual guides should reassure guilt-ridden persons who feel that since they were awake at the time of orgasm they are guilty of sin that they have not sinned inasmuch as the masturbation is presumed to be involuntary. "To tell him that he can avoid even these involuntary experiences if he tries hard enough and uses supernatural means can cause severe anxiety and even despair since he may not be able to avoid what is really involuntary."31

Guilt and Shame in All Forms of Masturbation

So, likewise, in the question of masturbation many persons torture themselves needlessly. I refer primarily to good living people whose only “sin” is masturbation. The spiritual counselor or confessor who knows the struggles that these persons have had tries to make it clear that there has been no free consent to the impulse to masturbate.

There is no grievous sin if a person masturbates while lacking in awareness, as when he is half awake, or half asleep, or when a person is carried away by sudden passion and finds himself committing the act despite the resistance of the will. This is one of the effects of original sin, that human passions tend to overcome the acts of the will (Rom. 7: l~2O). An individual may agree with this reasoning, and yet in his heart feel guilty of masturbation, because he will say to himself, “If I had tried harder I would not have had the fantasies, I should be able to get rid of all my impure thoughts.”

The trouble with this feeling of guilt is that it presupposes that we humans have perfect control over our passions not only over lust, but also over avarice, anger, and other disordered emotions. We know that we have no such control. The person involved in masturbation, however, needs to believe that with God’s grace he can overcome the habit of masturbation.

---

From JAW642 on 12/07/2010

---

 

[Joe_5859]

Pretty much, to commit a mortal sin, one must be positively SURE and positively BELIEVE that what he is doing is mortally wrong, and he must positively KNOW that he is committing a mortal sin. And then basically say, I positively KNOW this act is a mortal sin, but I don’t care, so I am going to do it anyway. If he believes that what he is doing is NOT mortally sinful, or if he is not SURE whether or not it is mortally sinful, then NO mortal sin can be committed.

I know you’re trying to ease the OP’s burden, but this is not an accurate representation of what the Church means by full knowledge. Recall CCC 1860 (emphasis added):

Unintentional ignorance can diminish or even remove the imputability of a grave offense. But no one is deemed to be ignorant of the principles of the moral law, which are written in the conscience of every man.

The natural moral law is written on each of our hearts. We cannot excuse ourselves simply because we may not have “believed” 100% that that act was mortally sinful. It doesn’t work that way.

My opinion is that we should really leave the severity of the OP’s culpability to a conversation between him and his confessor. To say either “It’s definitely a mortal sin; your eternal soul is in peril!” or “It’s definitely not a mortal sin; don’t worry about even going to Confession over it” is, I think, beyond the capability of anyone here to assess with certitude.

The OP’s best bet is Confession. A priest should be able to offer much better guidance than any of us here.

 

[the_Assyrian_1]

Hi Fein…

Can I add that I agree with the senior veteran here… some good advice - confess it and never do it again. Its a question of will power and you should have plenty of that at 16.

There are lots of men who have problems in this dept. but it doesnt excuse the seriousness of the sin. If you hear a sermon on Hell you will know that God punsihes this sin. It is serious. You MUST overcome it… be pure, Chastity is the highest virtue in the Church and is dispensed by the Holy Mother of God.

You should pray the Rosary to overcome this sin. The Mother of God has Power in this arena. Dont let a “soft” priest take you to perdition because he was soft on you.

Masterbation is a Mortal Sin in my humble opinion. You must believe that is possible to live a life without masterbation and that it is a mortal sin. You loose Sanctifying grace in your Soul by committing such an act. Jesus Said, “if you look lustfully at a woman you have committed Adultery in your heart” and we are told that, “fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God.” You will thank me one day, if you listen.

tip: Very important : Put a lock on your PC, I have K9 Web protection. Google this.
Make the Password almost impossible to break.
This should help you.

And stop sinning. Its a state of mind. Chastity is better than fornication.

Make sure you Pray the Rosary.
Good luck!

Corpus Christi
Mark

 

[Mickey]

If I thought it was false I would not have said it.

You said it…and it is false.

I get tired of the people in the Church who think they have a better understanding in this issue than what God thinks.

Then why do you keep offering false teachings?

If you read my post with an open mind you will have better understood it.

No mind can be opened to the point where sin is justified.

The issue here is not that it is very serious but is it very serious before God. Now read my post again sir and before you tell me that it is false teaching I want you to read the Catechism of the Catholic Church that declares that the responsibility is nil in cases of immaturity.

I have read the passage. To paraphrase, it states that the individual is less culpable due to immaturity and habit. But you have no place giving advice on the matter. You are not a priest. In fact, you are not even Roman Catholic.

Now the Orthodox Church depending on who interprets this will agree what I said or disagree.

It matters not what you say. In Holy Orthodoxy, the person is obedient to his/her spiritual father. And you are not a spiritual father.

I have talk to many Orthodox priests and they do not think it as mortal.

Care to give their names? I’d like to speak with their bishop.

Same with the many Catholic priests on the Island.

Care to give their names? I’d like to speak with their bishop.

Why will God condemn such an action?

No one said anything about condemnation. God forbid that someone would say that another is condemned for sinning. We are all sinners.

It seems to me you do that and not God.

Huh?

These young people do not need the likes of you to tell them something that is not that serious.

No. They do not need you to tell them that certain sins are not serious.

They are growing up and with all that pressure they receive today I am amazed at people who do not quite understand what pressures these young people are getting.

We were all young. We all know the pressures that our youth faces. How about adults? Unemployment is high. That’s a lot of pressure. Which sins do you claim are not serious for them? Listen, I have talked with youth who have had this problem habitually. They knew it was a serious sin. Through many confessions they were able to conquer the habitual nature of this** serious** sin. If they had listened to you, they may have never repented.

I am sure God does not approve of such actions as the Church did in the past by thinking that masturbation is very sinful.

Again, you are not clergy or a spiritual father.

Why do you think many people are not going to Church these days?

There are many reasons. But one of them is not “because they are prohibited from masturbating”.

Is it not because the Church can be too harsh on this issue.

You can’t be serious.

We are being more educated on this and the Church has come to realize that it was too hard on this issue and too harsh for handling it with young people.

Documentation?

Do you know why the Catholic Church decided it was a mortal sin many years ago.

Uh…because it is selfish, lustful, and gravely disordered.

Because the waste of the seed was considered wrong

I believe that Onanism is still considered part of the disorder.

It is OK to waste the seed in a dream but not in any other case.

Nocturnal emissions are not a conscious act. We are not culpable.

But the Church has become more understanding from doctors and science

Oh brother! Now you are saying that the Church has gained wisdom on this issue from the world?!? Sheesh!!!

Is this false teaching sir!

Yes sir! Your views on masturbation are false teaching.

I have been praised for the excellent way of reaching to them so that they can better understand the mysteries of God.

It is better to be humbled than to be praised.

Before you call the kettle black make sure it is a kettle.

Good advice. I can usually recognize the kettle.

My methods tend to be line with with the better understandings that the Church is coming into.

I have never seen these odd understandings of which you speak.

If my methods and teachings are false then explain sir why are most of my people still involving themselves in the Church.

Many people were still involved with the Church during the Arian heresy…but they were not orthodox teachings.

Good day sir. :tiphat:

 

[DavidKays]

Mickey why don’t you go somewhere else and forget about coming here. I come here to help this person and what to I get is the likes of you. You have a great disinterest sir in helping people. I find that you are more interested in yourself than you are in God. I hope you do not plan to do this all the time. I have great respect for the healing ministry and in young people but I have no respect for the likes of you. Next time you want to say something please try to be more constructive to the welfare of the person. I do not need the likes of you to tell me my buisiness. You have a great ability to be uncharitable and to me you are very much like the pharisees of the NT. I come here to try to help and you come here with your uncharitable words. I find you very far from God and please refrain yourself when you think you have to say something. At least try to. And may by just may by God will be more please with you.

 

[Fenelon]

Fien, according to what I have read in the catechism a mortal sin is simply any sin commited knowingly and not under coercion; it has nothing to do with the severity of the wrong doing. For example: involountary manslaughter would be venial because, while it was a sin, it was not commited deliberately. Of course, from a legal and (I would say) a moral perspective manslaughter is still much worse than masturbation, even though masturbation is mortal IF you believe or know it is wrong when you decide to do it.

Personally (and I want to emphasize this is my personal opinion), I think you should give yourself a break. You are only 16 years old and for a boy your age to masturbate in this day and age is certainly not surprising. Due to the way society is today it is simply impractical for teenagers to fulfil their sexual needs through marriage (which is what I assume God intended). In other words, you have been put into an unnatural situation by society, and so you end up fulfilling your perfectly natural desires in a less than ideal way. Now, if you were in your mid or late 20s and still masturbating, then there might be a problem and I would say go see a therapist or talk to a friend. But it hasn’t reached that point yet. In a few years you will get married and masturbation just won’t be an issue anymore.

Am I saying continue masturbating? No, but I don’t think you should feel horrible guilt whenever you succumb to the urge. To do so would only blow the situation entirely out of proportion and would not help you overcome the urge. Resist the urge, if that is what your conscience tells you to do, but don’t expect to overthrow this habit cold turkey because you just can’t.

Do it gradually. Challange yourself to stop for a week or even 3 days and after that period, go ahead and give in if you like. But then, up the ante and commit to resist for twice that time or, if you don’t think you are strong enough for that, commit to resist it for a week and 1 day, and then a week and 2 days and so on… If you do it this way, there will likely come a time when you don’t do it at all.

Another important thing to do is to make things easier for yourself by eliminating stimuli that might cause you to masturbate just as someone who is dieting would remove junk food from their home. Also, try to fill time you would otherwise use for masturbation with some other pleasurable activity.

If you set an unrealistic goal for yourself you will only feel that much guiltier and helpless when you fail. But if you set small goals, you will accomplish them and slowly gain confidence and inner strength. This strategy, I have found, is the best way of aquiring new habits (or eliminating bad ones).

Now, having said all of this I personally believe there are logical (and even scripturally sound) reasons for not regarding masturbation as innately sinful, but to discuss them here would be completely off topic.

I hope this has helped you; whatever you decide.

 

[Joe_5859]

Fien, according to what I have read in the catechism a mortal sin is simply any sin commited knowingly and not under coercion; it has nothing to do with the severity of the wrong doing.

This is incorrect. For a sin to be mortal, it must be done with full knowledge and complete consent, but it must also involve grave matter. If it is not grave matter, it cannot be a mortal sin. Of course, we all ought to be working on rooting all sin out of our life, regardless of the classification. It is my belief that we should spend less time parsing out the distinctions in our heads and more time confessing all our sins in the Sacrament of Reconciliation.

In a few years you will get married and masturbation just won’t be an issue anymore.

This is also incorrect. Many married men (and women) also struggle with this sin. The temptation towards sexual sin does not disappear when one gets married. One’s spouse is not a mere vehicle to absorb our sexual appetites. That would be treating our spouse like an object, which is exactly what masturbation trains us to do. That is why it is so damaging in the long term.

The best time to start practicing the virtue of chastity is now. The worst thing we can do is assume that we will magically be able to live chastely once we are married (or, perhaps even worse, assume that living chastely is not important once we are married). Note, chastity does not equal celibacy; we are all called to be chaste (i.e. to live out our sexuality proper to our vocation).

One enters marriage at an extreme disadvantage if they have not conquered this sin beforehand. It makes it much more difficult to view sex as something other than selfish gratification.

One can quit this sin cold turkey, but that doesn’t mean that we may not stumble along the way. In my experience, it makes it much more difficult to overcome a particular sin if we give ourselves an “out”. But this doesn’t mean we lambast ourselves if we fail. The saints are not people who never failed. They are simply those of us sinners who never stop picking themselves up (or, perhaps more accurately, allowing themselves to be picked up by God) after every single fall.

 

[Mickey]

why don’t you go somewhere else and forget about coming here.

I am free to come here—just as you are.

I come here to help this person and what to I get is the likes of you.

Let us hope that the individual does not take your false teaching to heart.

You have a great disinterest sir in helping people.

Your ad hominems do not affect me…sir.

I find that you are more interested in yourself than you are in God.

That is a terrible thing to say. May God forgive you.

I hope you do not plan to do this all the time.

I will always attempt to expose false teaching when I see it.

I have great respect for the healing ministry and in young people but I have no respect for the likes of you.

I will pray for you.

Next time you want to say something please try to be more constructive to the welfare of the person.

That is what I am attempting to do.

I do not need the likes of you to tell me my buisiness.

Nor do I try to tell you your business.

You have a great ability to be uncharitable and to me you are very much like the pharisees of the NT.

More insults. May God forgive you.

I come here to try to help and you come here with your uncharitable words.

I am trying to help by exposing your false teaching.

I find you very far from God

Wow! That is the most uncharitable thing I have ever seen on this forum. May God forgive you.

 

[Mickey]

To the OP: Do not listen to any advice given to you here–most of it is skewed. Talk to your priest or bishop. Go to Confession often. Do not listen to those who may think they are clergy.

Prayers,
Mickey

 

[twoangels]

Hi Fein…

Can I add that I agree with the senior veteran here… some good advice - confess it and never do it again. Its a question of will power and you should have plenty of that at 16.

There are lots of men who have problems in this dept. but it doesnt excuse the seriousness of the sin. If you hear a sermon on Hell you will know that God punsihes this sin. It is serious. You MUST overcome it… be pure, Chastity is the highest virtue in the Church and is dispensed by the Holy Mother of God.

You should pray the Rosary to overcome this sin. The Mother of God has Power in this arena. Dont let a “soft” priest take you to perdition because he was soft on you.

Masterbation is a Mortal Sin in my humble opinion. You must believe that is possible to live a life without masterbation and that it is a mortal sin. You loose Sanctifying grace in your Soul by committing such an act. Jesus Said, “if you look lustfully at a woman you have committed Adultery in your heart” and we are told that, “fornicators will not inherit the kingdom of God.” You will thank me one day, if you listen.

tip: Very important : Put a lock on your PC, I have K9 Web protection. Google this.
Make the Password almost impossible to break.
This should help you.

And stop sinning. Its a state of mind. Chastity is better than fornication.

Make sure you Pray the Rosary.
Good luck!

Corpus Christi
Mark

Mark, the Church can only state what are grave offenses and thus are potentially mortal sins. Even the Catechism acknowledges the deminished use of the will from force of habit or addiction.

Yes it is possible not to masturbate. Its not a sin I’ve ever had to confess myself, but I also never experienced much of a temptation to commit that type of sin. To start condemning another person because you may have overcome this sin or because you’ve never committed this sin is to assume that all people are universally prone to the same sins in the same way. That’s simply not how things work. We should be concerned about people committing grave sins, but it can actually be very discouraging to people to simply say “Look its simple. Don’t do it. You’re simply not taking the threat of Hell seriously.” Often times sins are motivated by more than just dismissing the severity of the sin.

Regular confession is important, devotions like the rosary are great, and overally relying on God’s grace and being patient with yourself is a must.

 

[Mickey]

Indeed my friend. We all need to look in the mirror. You do not need to post sarcastic style reminders. I hope that you too, can look into the mirror. It is a very difficult thing. Our best guide is Scripture, Church Fathers, Holy Tradition, and our clergy.