Masturbation and Pornography

[Iwasherebefore]

I was on this site before and well posted pretty much the same thing. I’m 19 years old and I have a lot of trouble with pornography and masturbation. I do alright for like a week and then end up doing it again. I go to confession pretty much every week whether I commit those sins or not just to sort of keep myself in check but lately not even that is working. I’m not sure if its the right part of the forums to ask for prayers but I could really use some prayers and just some more advice. I want to rid myself of these sins but I can never seem to find the strength to follow through.

Thanks

 

[Quaesitor]

I highly recommend you go to a Theology of the Body class, either the introductory class or the full one if you can. It really had an impact on me.

 

[ChrisRedfield47]

I was on this site before and well posted pretty much the same thing. I’m 19 years old and I have a lot of trouble with pornography and masturbation. I do alright for like a week and then end up doing it again. I go to confession pretty much every week whether I commit those sins or not just to sort of keep myself in check but lately not even that is working. I’m not sure if its the right part of the forums to ask for prayers but I could really use some prayers and just some more advice. I want to rid myself of these sins but I can never seem to find the strength to follow through.

Thanks

I Highly recommend you to pray the rosary as much as you can. If you do so, in the long run you will end up beating these sins. I recommend you to click on the link below my signature. Praying the Rosary has helped me with the sins you have.

Praying for you:

Hail Mary,
Full of Grace,
The Lord is with thee.
Blessed art thou among women,
and blessed is the fruit
of thy womb, Jesus.
Holy Mary,
Mother of God,
pray for us sinners now,
and at the hour of death
Amen.

St. Jude, pray for him!

 

[LynJohn1023]

I was on this site before and well posted pretty much the same thing. I’m 19 years old and I have a lot of trouble with pornography and masturbation. I do alright for like a week and then end up doing it again. I go to confession pretty much every week whether I commit those sins or not just to sort of keep myself in check but lately not even that is working. I’m not sure if its the right part of the forums to ask for prayers but I could really use some prayers and just some more advice. I want to rid myself of these sins but I can never seem to find the strength to follow through.

Thanks

As a fellow lust addict, I highly recommend you do all those folks told you. I also highly recommend you join a local SA group, get a sponsor, work the 12 Steps and, by the grace of God become free. Ask your confessor. I bet he’ll agree you’re more than just a sorely tempted sinner. You’re an addict.

 

[Kenny_Kamel]

I was on this site before and well posted pretty much the same thing. I’m 19 years old and I have a lot of trouble with pornography and masturbation. I do alright for like a week and then end up doing it again.

If this continues to happen you must address the root cause, which I surmise is likely the temptation that pornography leads you into. Why not cut off your access to pornography altogether? If you access porn though magazines, burn the magazines. If you access porn though the internet, shut off your internet service or at least find good porn blocking software. Free yourself from that which tempts you to sin first and foremost.

This seems like a major issue if you’re needing to go to confession on at least a weekly basis. Take decisive action and cut off your problems at the source, its just that simple.

 

[Scriptorium]

A few tips:

Cut out the vast majority of entertainments. TV, movies, video games, and music. I said most. TV, video games, and movies can be cut out completely. Internet needs to be curbed big time. In fact, if you don’t need to go on the Internet for work, just cut it out altogether until you gain some control. Why? Because these things foster a “give in” mentality. They train you to give in, because they are quick self-serving satisfactions. Not to mention that often they are an occasion of sin to you. So please limit these things while you are recovering. Over time, if you are habitually in a state of grace, you can reincorporate them into your life.

Now cultivate other sources of pleasure. One that I find helpful is silent prayer/meditation. When I am tempted I can purposely go into meditation and gain pleasure not based on the body, but based on the soul. This pleasure is actually quite fulfilling. Ask if you want more info on this.

Each time you’re tempted pray: “Most Previous Blood of Jesus, wash over me and protect me from the wickedness and snares of the devil. // Spirit of Lust, in the name of Jesus I cast you out, and send you to the foot of the Cross. // Jesus, it is you whom I love.”

Pray three Hail Marys in the morning and in the evening. Also pray “Mother of Jesus, make me a saint.”

You don’t need this. The pleasure from loving Christ actually is a million times better than “the dumpster”. I’ll pray for you.

 

[edward_george]

I echo most of what others have said and offer that perhaps the source of the temptations is not even the pornography, but the thoughts that run through your head as a result of previous falls that then lead you into future ones. My suggestion would be to try some methods of controlling that initial moment. Wear a rubber band on your wrist, and when a lustful thought or image comes into your mind, before you have a chance to dwell on it, snap yourself. It’ll hurt, but that’s the point–your body learns to associate those thoughts with pain and soon they become fewer and farther between. Also, figure out which times you are most prone to falling into temptation, and avoid the internet at those times. If this means having someone to whom you are accountable–a friend, roommate, parent, whatever the case may be–tell you to get off the computer late in the evening, then do it. If it means putting a timer on your internet, do it. Finally, the biggest thing overall is to channel the energy that drives those desires into other things–do you have a hobby that you enjoy? Do you like to write, draw, paint, or do some other creative thing? Do you like to be outdoors? Exercise also helps. The whole point of that last bit is that you shouldn’t suppress your sexual desires–they are perfectly natural–but rather to reign them in and sublimate them so they don’t dominate you.

And of course, on top of all of this, which is largely practical, stay constant in prayer–go to Mass whenever you can, go to confession as often as is advisable by your spiritual director or confessor, pray the Rosary daily. Every morning wake up and ask God for the grace to resist temptation, and every evening before bed thank him for another day of helping you through.

These prayers might be helpful to you:

Lord Jesus, Grant that I may see in you the fulfillment of all my need, and may turn from every false satisfaction to feed on you, the True and Living Bread. Enable me to lay aside the sin which clings so closely and to run with perseverance the race set before me, looking to you, the pioneer and perfecter of my faith. Amen.

Jesus, Lover of chastity, Mary, Mother most pure, and Joseph, chaste guardian of the Virgin, to you I come at this hour, begging you to plead with God for me. I earnestly wish to be pure in thought, word and deed in imitation of your own holy purity.

Obtain for me, then, a deep sense of modesty which will be reflected in my external conduct. Protect my eyes, the windows of my soul, from anything that might dim the luster of a heart that must mirror only Christlike purity.

And when the “Bread of Angels becomes the Bread of me” in my heart at Holy Communion, seal it forever against the suggestions of sinful pleasures.

May I be among the number of those of whom Jesus spoke: “Blessed are the pure of heart, for they shall see God.”

Heart of Jesus, Fount of all purity, have mercy on us.

-ACEGC

 

[Rudy_Baga]

This seems like a major issue if you’re needing to go to confession on at least a weekly basis. Take decisive action and cut off your problems at the source, its just that simple.

That sounds nice, but for someone who is struggling with an addiction, it is never “just that simple”. Confession is necessary, but what the OP also needs to do is address the downward spiral of lust, masturbation then guilt. This spiral can lead you into thinking that you have no control and then you fulfill that belief leading you into another spiral. So the root source is not simply the pornography. That is like telling a marijuana smoker to get rid of the rolling papers to solve the problem.

Prayer always helps, but we don’t always realize the fruit of the prayer because we tend to act on what we believe, even when it is contrary to what we say we want. The root cause may simply be physical. The body releases “feel good” chemicals and we can become addicted to them. It also creates a release of energy that relaxes the body and mind. Realizing all of this helps to break the loop that has been created and gives one something with which to form a plan of action.

Meditate on the feelings you have after the act. Acknowledge and accept them as the response that you cannot separate from the act. What you want is to increase the awareness that you will feel this way afterward and make a firm decision that it is not what you desire to experience.

Find creative outlets for this energy and keep yourself busy with them to keep a healthy flow of energy that is being use constructively. Another poster mentioned this above. It is very good advice.

Allow yourself to believe that Jesus can help you to tame the temptations. Remember that you cannot make yourself believe, even though you say you do. Attempting to do so will only reinforce your disbelief. You must allow yourself to accept belief. Don’t try to force it, flow into it accepting that "“And all things you ask in prayer, believing, you will receive.” Matt 21:22

Act as if your prayer has been answered. Take on the mindset of one who has been given the strength to overcome. Thank God daily or even hourly for giving you the strength to prevail. And remember, never pray to be rid of a problem. Rather pray to become what you pray for. In other words, pray to become pure, not to be free from impurity. Every time you pray for freedom from impurity, you reinforce the impure mindset and pit yourself against it. Replace it with a purity mindset instead and let the current way of thinking wither away in the process.

Don’t beat yourself up too bad. Jesus constantly calls us forth to renew us and if He can forgive you, then you should too. Otherwise you risk throwing yourself back to the top of the spiral.

Follow these and you will find it much easier to take the advice that recommends removing the porn from your life. Act in positive ways and instead of battling to remove it, it will naturally become less of an attraction or compulsion. Instead of fighting it you will be replacing it with something more valuable.

May the Holy Spirit give you strength and fortitude.

 

[newcatholic09]

As most everyone else has advised pray the Rosary daily. Also, stay busy, if you start to feel tempted get up and move around, start a task that will take a little while to complete so that the urge will pass. I know your already going to confession but are you really telling the priest your true sin or are you saying that you are giving into lust? It has been my own experience that if you have to say out loud that you have been watching pornography and masturbating that it brings on a certain amount of shame that you dont want to repeat. If it is an option for you face the priest during confession and look him directly in the eye when you are confessing your sins. This also makes you not want to have to confess this over and over. Through the intercession of the Blessed Virgin Mary and with the Mercy of Jesus Christ I have been able to overcome this completely. It is a great thing to be free of this sin.

Praying for you:
Hail Mary full of Grace the Lord is with thee, Blessed art thou among women, and Blessed is the Fruit of thy womb Jesus. Holy Mary, Mother of God, pray for us sinners now and at the hour of our death. Amen.

 

[JaKael02]

Private msg me and I’ll teach you how you can block every ounce of porn on all your home devices…for free & w/ administrative control. After it’s all blocked, it just gets easier & easier.

This goes for anyone else who wants to block it all.

Kindly - James

 

[LynJohn1023]

If this continues to happen you must address the root cause, which I surmise is likely the temptation that pornography leads you into. Why not cut off your access to pornography altogether? If you access porn though magazines, burn the magazines. If you access porn though the internet, shut off your internet service or at least find good porn blocking software. Free yourself from that which tempts you to sin first and foremost.

This seems like a major issue if you’re needing to go to confession on at least a weekly basis. Take decisive action and cut off your problems at the source, its just that simple.

It isn’t just that simple for an addict, as another has said earlier. Although, cutting off the physical sources of the temptation is a good start, in the same way an alcoholic or heroin addict needs to stop getting booze or drugs (I know a little about those). But, it is an error to describe porn as the root or source of this man’s problem. The source and root of every addict or alcoholic’s problem resides inside him, not in the exteriors of pornmography, liquour, opiates, etc.

Prayer works, but engaging with others who have the same problem is a necessary next step. And, in order to fully arrest the symptoms (that’s what the porn and masturbation are, symptoms), an entire psychic change, that is, a spiritual experience that brings about changes in attitude, habit and behaviors beyond our power. The power that has kept me from alcohol for just over 23 years is God. I don’t have the power that 90% of people do to not drink. And, several years ago I had to painfully admit I was addicted to porn and compulsive masturbation. I couldn’t control that either. I have been sober in 12 step program called SA for over a year now. That is, by the grace of God, I haven’t had sex in any way not intended by God since 8/1/2011. I am a faithful husband and dutiful father. God made that possible. Without his aid, I had no power to stop.

 

[Glennford]

If your schedule and situation allows it, please make a monastic retreat. Many religious communities offer retreat opportunities for lay people. You may find like many that your temptations are much easier to manage in the environment of a retreat like that…then you can decide if life might not be easier if you simply stayed in that environment as many, many Catholics have through the centuries. Good luck and God Bless.

 

[Scottgun]

Something simple you can try: put one of those thick rubber-bands around your wrist. Whenever you have temptation, have impure thoughts, don’t keep custody of the eyes, are bored, or anything that are the usual triggers, snap the rubber band against your wrist. Not hard, but enough to know it is there. This can also be used for other habits as well.

 

[Nate13]

Are you involved at Church in bible studies, young adult groups? I have found that I have much more strength in avoiding temptations when Christ is on my mind more than just the once a week we are at church. Daily mass a couple times a week would also be another thing that might help you stay on track all throughout the week.

 

[djmauck]

There’s been a lot of great advice on this thread so I won’t reiterate any of it. One thing that wasn’t mentioned is, instead of blocking software, getting an accountability partner for your internet usage. There are several programs that will do this. Either search for “accountability partner” or feel free to message me for a good one. These programs monitor your internet usage and send a regular email report to a person of your choosing that will say if you’ve visited any adult sites. I’ve tried blocking programs, but I’ve found they do things like block out sites like this one or sites that talk about sexual addictions. I’d be trying to get help and wouldn’t be able to find it!

One key thing to do is DON’T DO IT ALONE! I am a recovered alcoholic and could NEVER have recovered without the help of others (I’m in AA). You can join a 12-step group like SA (recommended because their definition of sexual sobriety matches with Catholic teaching), have an accountability partner, or just find people to talk to about it. But the key is TALK ABOUT IT. Preferably in person. And not just in confession. Find a spiritual director maybe. The thing about sexual addictions, especially, is that they’re so laden with shame and solitude, and getting it out in the open and honestly discussing your problems with people really helps to overcome it. It especially helps if you can talk with people who have gone through the same struggles, which is why groups like SA are really helpful.

 

[Bill_7154]

As a fellow lust addict, I highly recommend you do all those folks told you. I also highly recommend you join a local SA group, get a sponsor, work the 12 Steps and, by the grace of God become free. Ask your confessor. I bet he’ll agree you’re more than just a sorely tempted sinner. You’re an addict.

You may or may not be an addict. In the past I was most definitely a sex addict. If you do go to SLAA meetings (what they are called where I live, sex and love addicts anonymous) be mindful that you will be in a group of individuals who are sex addicts and in varying stages of recovery. When I went to these meetings I was approached by individuals who were seeming to do the right thing on the surface, only to discover (sometimes quickly, sometimes after a little while) that they were either not committed to their recovery or having lapses as I was hit on by several men in these meetings.

I also felt that I did not fit in as the group was like 1/2 females who were maybe 50/50 gay/straight and 1/2 males, an overwhelming majority of which were gay. I did not hear many people sharing stories that were similar to my experiences as a straight man. You say your 19, I was closer to 30, possibly on the older side of 30. If the meetings where you are at are made up of the same population re: straight vs. gay I would be aware that as a 19 yo male I think you will be approached by males who have an agenda of getting you to have sex with them.

At age 19 you are full of testosterone, I think it is much harder to refrain from masturbating at age 19 than at my age, 45. I am new to faith as a Catholic, having been away from the Church for a very long time, going to confession for the first time in 17 years only a few months ago. So I am very ‘green’ when it comes to how to live life appropriately as a Catholic. Maybe my comments should be taken with a grain of salt. But if you go to confession, truely repent your sins, and try and avoid sin (prayer has helped me a great deal, both asking for help and for thanking for the help I receive) you are doing the right thing.

Also I think you should feel good about yourself and be proud of yourself that as a 19 year old man you are connected to the Catholic Church and have Faith and are trying to avoid sinning. I think that most men your age don’t give masturbation a second thought and consider sleeping with lots of women to be something to be proud of. So give yourself credit for all you are doing. None of us are perfect. I did this sin recently despite being married, going to confession, repenting, praying, and being 45 so much less testosterone fueling the fire so to speak.

God Bless You. I have found that many of my prayers are being answered since I have become committed to my faith. It takes a strong man at the age of 19 to recognize masturbation as a sin and to make efforts to avoid it. I do not say this to give you permission to go sin, but to provide some perspective and to give you positive feedback for the strides you are making. I was so far away from God and the Church at age 19, I believed in God but aside from occasional prayer, I was not connected to him and not connected to the Church at all.

Again, God Bless.

Edit In: I live in Boston, MA so the population of the SA meetings may be very different here than were you live (possibly rural area with many more Christians, many more Catholics) which chould change the make up of the groups significantly.

 

[Lost_Sheep]

If this continues to happen you must address the root cause, which I surmise is likely the temptation that pornography leads you into. Why not cut off your access to pornography altogether? If you access porn though magazines, burn the magazines. If you access porn though the internet, shut off your internet service or at least find good porn blocking software. Free yourself from that which tempts you to sin first and foremost.

This seems like a major issue if you’re needing to go to confession on at least a weekly basis. Take decisive action and cut off your problems at the source, its just that simple.

Cutting off the source will not end his craving for it.

 

[anonymous_in_fl]

Wonderful suggestions and advice being given to the OP!

As a professional who treats addictions including sexual addictions, I think it is important to know that in the recovery 12 Step community for sex addictions there are at least 3 different 12 Step fellowships each with a different idea of what “recovery” or sexual sobriety looks like. The one most in line with Catholic teaching is SA (Sexaholics Anonymous). You can “google” them and find meetings in your area, phone meetings, or meetings via internet.

Use all the means available to you: sacraments, prayer, 12 steps!

 

[Kenny_Kamel]

Cutting off the source will not end his craving for it.

That’s life, we all have to deal with it.

Seriously folks, I came into the Church during Easter Vigil 2011 and the majority of my confessions since have been related to this sinful behavior. It is just that simple and I still feel these urges on a daily basis, but I do believe that taking drastic measures and developing the willpower to resist temptation is the key. It won’t happen overnight, but I went from being a guy who was going to confession 3-4 times a month to once a month due to sins of this nature and I know that it will likely continue until I’m married.

Yes I know pornography is not the sole cause for myself or the OP, it is an addiction to adulterous behavior. I’ve dealt with this, I’ve dealt with other addictions like smoking and alcoholism and I’ve overcome such addictions through decisive action first and foremost. It takes time but please don’t be dismissive of my suggestions just because this is the internet and I cannot fully explain in greater detail all that I would do to combat such issues. If you don’t like my advice then don’t take heed let alone quote me as if I were giving poor advice.

 

[billcu1]

Pray for puirity. Use marian prayers if nothing else. Masterbation can be questionable but I would definatelt stay away from pornography.

B