Masturbation and Pornography

[LynJohn1023]

That’s life, we all have to deal with it.

Seriously folks, I came into the Church during Easter Vigil 2011 and the majority of my confessions since have been related to this sinful behavior. It is just that simple and I still feel these urges on a daily basis, but I do believe that taking drastic measures and developing the willpower to resist temptation is the key. It won’t happen overnight, but I went from being a guy who was going to confession 3-4 times a month to once a month due to sins of this nature and I know that it will likely continue until I’m married.

Yes I know pornography is not the sole cause for myself or the OP, it is an addiction to adulterous behavior. I’ve dealt with this, I’ve dealt with other addictions like smoking and alcoholism and I’ve overcome such addictions through decisive action first and foremost. It takes time but please don’t be dismissive of my suggestions just because this is the internet and I cannot fully explain in greater detail all that I would do to combat such issues. If you don’t like my advice then don’t take heed let alone quote me as if I were giving poor advice.

Again, and I think this is a really good discussion thread, but I cannot stress enough, if willing myself to not drink (I’m a 23 year sober member of AA) or to not act out in lust (I’m sober one year in Sexaholics Anonymous) was possible, I would never have had a problem. Problems for which I can effectively exercise my will to avoid are things like overeating (They have a very good 12 step group as well). I can will myself to close the bathroom door, etc. This little quote was written back in 1939 in a book called Alcoholics Anonymous. It was true then, true on 7/18/1989 and true today. “The fact is that most alcoholics, for reasons yet obscure, have lost the power of choice in drink. Our so-called will power becomes practically nonexistent. We are unable, at certain times, to bring into our consciousness with sufficient force the memory of the suffering and humiliation of even a week or a month ago. We are without defense against the first drink.”

AnonPress.org (2009-08-14). Alcoholics Anonymous from The Anonymous Press (Kindle Locations 449-451). The Anonymous Press. Kindle Edition.

Even the Roman Catholic Church speaks very highly of AA on an individual basis. Most of the confessors I’ve had over the past 20 years have asked me pointedly if I go to AA (current one, an Alanon, consistently inquires about my AA and SA attendance). All those confessors have taken the liberty of handing out my phone number in the confessional. I have been blessed and privileged to pass on to any who contacted me what God had freely given to me; power. My problem is not a moral one. My problem does entail me acting out in immoral ways. Those are, like all acts of sin, symptoms of the problem. Of myself, I am so self-centered as to be disconnected from the Father, my Creator who has all I need to succeed. Maintaining a conscious contact with Him makes it possible, a day at a time, to know how to cope wiith a world I don’t understand, and more, to flourish as a useful servant of maximum service to God and the people around me.

Ivebeenherebefore, you need to clear out your message buffer for your private messages here. I tried to respond to you, but the system told me it was full. I’d like to give you my number in case you ever want to seek help with skin on it, as we say in AA/SA. I also want to affirm that no one here has given you bad advice. But, the best advice, since you seem to be compulsive (by defintion an addict), was given by those who recommended a 12 Step program.

12 Step programs have their detractors. Some may even have valid points. But, those in the Church who speak for 12 step groups are often found in daily life wearing black attire and roman collars. On weekends they tend to be vested to celebrate the Holy Mass.

 

[Robert_Sock]

CHAPTER 13 – On Resisting Temptations [The Imitation of Christ]

So long as we live in this world, we cannot remain without trial and temptation: as Job says, “Man’s life on earth is a warfare.” We must therefore be on guard against temptations, and watchful in prayer, that the Devil find no means of deceiving us; for he never rests, but prowls around seeking whom he may devour. No one is so perfect and holy that he is never tempted, and we can never be secure from temptation.

Although temptations are so troublesome and grievous, yet they are often profitable to us, for by them we are humbled, cleansed, and instructed. All the Saints endured manly trials and temptations, and profited by them; but those who could not resist temptations became reprobate, and fell away. There is no Order so holy, nor place so secluded, where there are no troubles and temptations.

No man can be entirely free from temptation so long as he lives; for the source of temptation lies within our own nature, since we are born with an inclination towards evil. When one temptation or trial draws to a close, another takes its place; and we shall always have something to fight, for man has lost the blessing of original happiness. Many try to escape temptations, only to encounter them more fiercely, for no one can win victory by flight alone; it is only by patience and true humility that we can grow stronger than all our foes.

The man who only avoids the outward occasions of evil, but fails to uproot it in himself, will gain little advantage. Indeed, temptations will return upon him the sooner, and he will find himself in a worse state than before. Little by little and by patient endurance you will overcome them by God’s help, better than by your own violence and importunity. Seek regular advice in temptation, and never deal harshly with those who are tempted, but give them such encouragement as you would value yourself.

The beginning of all evil temptation is an unstable mind and lack of trust in God. Just as a ship without a helm is driven to and fro by the waves, so a careless man, who abandons his proper course, is tempted in countless ways. Fire tempers steel, and temptation the just man. We often do not know what we can bear, but temptation reveals our true nature. We need especially to be on our guard at the very onset of temptation, for then the Enemy may be more easily overcome, if he is not allowed to enter the gates of the mind: he must be repulsed at the threshold, as soon as he knocks. Thus the poet Ovid writes, “Resist at the beginning; the remedy may come too late.” For first there comes into the mind an evil thought: next, a vivid picture: then delight, and urge to evil, and finally consent. In this way the Enemy gradually gains complete mastery, when he is not resisted at first. And the longer a slothful man delays resistance, the weaker he becomes, and the stronger his enemy grows against him.

Some people undergo their heaviest temptations at the beginning of their conversion; some towards the end of their course; others are greatly troubled all their lives; while there are some whose temptations are but light. This is in accordance with the wisdom and justice of God’s ordinance, who weighs the condition and merits of every man, and disposes all things for the salvation of those whom He chooses.

We must not despair, therefore, when we are tempted, but earnestly pray God to grant us his help in every need. For, as Saint Paul says, “With the temptation, God will provide a way to overcome it, that we may be able to bear bear it.” So, let us humble ourselves under the hand of God, in every trial and trouble, for He will save and raise up the humble in Spirit. In all these trials, our progress is tested; in them great merit may be secured, and our virtue become evident. It is no great matter if we are devout and fervent when we have no troubles; but if we show patience in adversity, we can make great progress in virtue. Some are spared severe temptations, but are overcome in the lesser ones of every day, in order that they may be humble, and learn not to trust in themselves, but to recognize their frailty.

 

[blakjak12]

Im dealing with the same issue. God bless you, and I will keep you in my prayer.

 

[clem456]

One key thing to do is DON’T DO IT ALONE! .

This.
Lust preys on shame and isolation.
The overwhelming testimony from addicts is that you can not do it alone. Prayers and confessions and Theology of the Body are certainly good and necessary, and little psychological techniques are all fine tools, but they are not magic pills. I cannot count the number of different strategies I tried. Conversion is a lot (did I mention a lot?) of hard work and you will need support and advice from people who have been there. It took me 10+ years to get sober from porn. I wasted a lot of that time trying to stop by myself. Don’t deceive yourself. This is perhaps the first and most important step, realizing that doing it alone is an uphill battle, and not being afraid to discuss it.

Go to the impurity addiction support group on this site, everything is anonymous. Or get with an SA group. I also decided to get involved in ministry at my parish before I was sober, and that helped me a lot to get sober-focusing on the needs of others.

 

[clem456]

Cutting off the source will not end his craving for it.

This is exactly right. I password locked compputers, promised to turn them off all day, installed software. I was powerless with this addiction, because I could not admit that I was powerless. ( it sounds foolish, but it is the stone cold truth). When I could admit that I was powerless, I started to heal through God’s power.

Techniques are fine, but they are not conversion. It is simply a lot of spiritual work to beat a lust addiction. But God is so worth it.

 

[mab23]

I had a similiar problem OP -

maybe tackle the pornography problem first and then the other one if its easier for you

and knowing that your supporting a corrupt, degrading and unhealthy industry everytime you watch porn

and after confession week after week the sin of the flesh - one Monk/Father told me everytime i feel those urges to say to myself “its a lie” and repeat it and say a hail mary or sign of the cross or both -

 

[billcu1]

Pray for puirity. Use marian prayers if nothing else. Masterbation can be questionable but I would definatelt stay away from pornography.

B

Something else that might be helpful is ST. Michael’s prayer. And the miraculous medal it always works for me. Keep in mind your youth too but your going in the right direction. Confess often.

B