Sythix - What could also help you is reading the Theology of the Body. There is a version focused on teens called the Theology of the Body for Teens in both book form and DVD form. (The DVDs are a little pricey, but sometimes they show the episodes on EWTN).
I think studying Theology of the Body is a
great recommendation. A better
understanding of human sexuality is hugely beneficial when struggling with sexual temptations. Knowledge alone does not make us better people-- that also requires the constant and devoted
practice of avoiding evil and doing good empowered by God’s grace-- but understanding definitely helps.
I’m not sure if Catholic young men/adult men practice this, but think about having an “accountability partner”: a male in your age group and preferrably in the same stage of life as you (high school, college, single, etc), who can keep you spiritually accountable. They will pray for you, pray with you, support you, maintain confidentiality, and share their personal stories of fighting temptation.
I think this can also be a very good recommendation. You don’t need to go it alone. Friendship, especially when friends are united in a common cause for good, is powerful. This requires finding someone committed to Christ, someone you trust, and someone you are willing to commit to just as you wish them to commit to you. If you don’t know anyone like that, keep looking!
You need to find a good confessor and go often.
Agreed. A good confessor is a real ally. But even if you cannot find a good confessor, the sacrament is a true blessing, strengthening us to begin the good fight anew.
The most helpful thing for me was talking with a priest who was a good confessor. He pointed out that this act is usually an issue when we are feeling powerless over something in our lives.
Yes, masturbation is sometimes a form of “self-medication” but, like drinking too much alcohol, not a truly beneficial one. A good confessor can help you investigate whether this is what’s going on, and perhaps direct you toward addressing the underlying problems (e.g. I feel lonely, unloved, powerless, scared, angry, etc.) in a more beneficial way.
Masturbation may at times become more tempting when one is full of energy better spent elsewhere. One of my friends discovered, after much reflection, that he was more likely to masturbate when his creative energy was stifled or frustrated. When he gave himself more time to engage in the creative endeavors he loved (in own his case, activities like drawing and theatre), his desire to masturbate waned.
What are you doing before hand that leads up to this? Avoid the near occasion… Find out what your triggers are.
Yes. When you feel tempted, take good look at what’s going on. If you can locate the triggers, you can begin to avoid or defuse them.
find an alternate action when you start to feel like following this desire. Retrain yourself… Smokers sometimes ride and exercise bike or go for a walk when they get a craving… You may find yourself running a lot. Make it a game, write a few things, put 'em in a bowl, when you’re heading that direction pick one. Get creative. Write a prayer. Point is, DO something instead, doesn’t really matter what, just take action.
Good advice. And if you do find a good confessor and/or accountability partner, share ideas.
Do you want to be at the mercy of your desires or the master of your own body?
Self-control is really an underappreciated virtue, but there’s so much power for good in it. As you acquire this virtue, you can give yourself to God more completely and accomplish greater and greater things for him and for everyone around you.
Perhaps another suggestion is not to focus exclusively on the masturbation problem when striving to acquire the virtue of self-control. Other small acts of self-denial can be great practice. You might, for example, abstain from sweets, soft drinks, snacks, television, or gaming on certain days of the week. But if you give up an activity, like watching television, make sure that doesn’t become time you might be tempted to do something wrong. Do something positive during that time instead, like reading, walking outside, praying, cooking a meal for your family or washing dishes, etc. When this small denial becomes easy, choose a different one.
Don’t worry, and don’t freak out and berate yourself if you mess up. Repent, ask God’s forgiveness, get back up, and start fresh. Don’t focus on what you did wrong in the past, but on what you can do right in the present.
We’re all works in progress.
