I don’t know?
Like you I struggle with this issue and topic logically. If you put a gun to my head I would say that most “Americans” have a distorted view of the subject. But honestly I do not know. NFP is the single hardest thing I reconcile to my faith. So many threads about topics where people don’t understand why masturbation etc is a sin and we all talk about obey and trust the Church. So that is what I do here. But it is hard. When my american mind reads something a Pope said about “responsible parenthood and education” I get why NFP is practiced morally. But then that same statement seems not to apply to a majority of the World’s Catholics. How can a couple in the US take those words and decide that College is a reason to not have more children or age but an Iraqi couple can have 6 kids and know that half of them may not see their 18th birthday.
That couple is bound by the same Church as I am. Those words were not even spoken in english by the Pope so the argument that it is meant only for Americans or westerners cannot be made. But what I know of faith, what I know of God and his Church do not make me think that the poor should be denied the right to procreate. Not only that but it is in these poor places that the Church is growing. Where more Catholics are being churned out than in our culture of death. So really, which culture is the poorer one? I don’t know. I do know that the moral rules that bind them, bind me. The Command from God to multiply applies to them as much as it does me. Those bishops in poor countries, of which bergoglio was one, marry couples all the time that will not be able to give their children anything close to what we deem and “education” or ability to provide for them. Yet they are married, and promised to accept children. While the UN ships pounds and pounds of condoms to Africa as the answer the Church seems to take a more “life” positive approach. Rejoicing as babies are born with retardations, diseases, and syndromes and marriages are celebrated and at the same time mourning with the mother who lost another baby to extreme poverty or war. This is not a new dilemma. Babies were born in the worst epidemics, persecutions, and times in all of human history. And it is seen as a good thing. A promise of life (God) ultimately winning. Now, we use our technology to calculate what sex of child we want. When and how to embrace life giving the best statistical chance and avoiding any statistical risk.
For our last child we “used”" NFP" to try to choose the gender. It “worked” but how moral is that? We did it because we could, because the technology and statistics can be manipulated to do the very things we condemn. discriminate.
I have no real answer. And I am not meaning to cause anyone strife or doubt about faith. I certainly do not claim to know more than the Church. And the Church says you can use NFP. I used to teach NFP. I cannot anymore because I have been confused by it. I refrain from even giving advice on these threads on NFP issues. My position is not to assert a position but only to ask questions that do not match up to my understanding of faith and logic.
I too get more and more confused but I find these threads helpful. Bookcats posts have been challenging and the most informative for me. We are all on a journey here and I do not claim to know the answers more than anyone else. But I do know that as I sat in front of the Blessed Sacrament last night with 4 kids running around and praying to God. I thank God for the family I did not plan but thought I could.
Luckily I had been using FAM for a few yrs before I became a practicing Catholic.