May Parents Reject "Restored Order?" Children's Liturgy of the Word?

[hopefull]

“Restored Order” has been used to mean the combining of the Sacraments of Penance/First Eucharist with Confirmation, administered all at the same time. It wasn’t that long ago that a number of years elapsed between Confession/“First Communion” and Confirmation. Some parishes in my diocese still use that timing, and others have switched to administering these Sacraments at the same time. In our parish, some parents are very happy to have their children complete these Sacraments at one time, and others have expressed concern and a preference for two separate celebrations, a few years apart. Some argue that the children need the strengthening of confirmation as soon as possible, other argue that early completion of the Sacraments makes them lose interest in continuing religious education.

To avoid “restored order” some parents who prefer the separation of the Sacraments have gone to another parish where the separation is the usual situation. I heard recently that it is NOT necessary to change parishes to have separate administration of these Sacraments, that it is the parents’ decision if they prefer that their child receive the two Sacraments separately, even a few years apart. (It is certainly the pastor’s decision if a child is or is not, in his judgment, “ready” for a Sacrament). But I heard that the parents have the right to delay or to separate the two Sacraments. This was news to me, and from the conversations I have had with parents, it may also be news to some parents that a parent can decide. Before I pass this advice on to the parents I do want to be sure I heard right…that the parents can say that they only want the children to receive First Communion, and want to delay on Confirmation.

Another question about parents rights involves Children’s Liturgy of the Word: I have heard that it is also the parents’ decision whether or not their children leave the church for the Children’s Liturgy of the Word, or remain with the family. An “adult” homily might make a parent lean toward their leaving; a special family event might make a parent lean toward their staying. Simply put, again, can someone confirm that it IS the parents’ decision?

 

[PatienceAndLove]

“Restored Order” has been used to mean the combining of the Sacraments of Penance/First Eucharist with Confirmation, administered all at the same time. It wasn’t that long ago that a number of years elapsed between Confession/“First Communion” and Confirmation. Some parishes in my diocese still use that timing, and others have switched to administering these Sacraments at the same time. In our parish, some parents are very happy to have their children complete these Sacraments at one time, and others have expressed concern and a preference for two separate celebrations, a few years apart. Some argue that the children need the strengthening of confirmation as soon as possible, other argue that early completion of the Sacraments makes them lose interest in continuing religious education.

I feel that Confirmation should wait until the child/young adult expresses their desire to be confirmed. It should not be forced upon them.
As for “Restored Order”, this would work for older children, but I don’t like it for younger. OF course, the Easter Orthodox churches do this…so… I dunno…

Another question about parents rights involves Children’s Liturgy of the Word: I have heard that it is also the parents’ decision whether or not their children leave the church for the Children’s Liturgy of the Word, or remain with the family. An “adult” homily might make a parent lean toward their leaving; a special family event might make a parent lean toward their staying. Simply put, again, can someone confirm that it IS the parents’ decision?

Yes, it is the parents’ choice. I have never heard otherwise.

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

“Restored Order” has been used to mean the combining of the Sacraments of Penance/First Eucharist with Confirmation, administered all at the same time. It wasn’t that long ago that a number of years elapsed between Confession/“First Communion” and Confirmation. Some parishes in my diocese still use that timing, and others have switched to administering these Sacraments at the same time. In our parish, some parents are very happy to have their children complete these Sacraments at one time, and others have expressed concern and a preference for two separate celebrations, a few years apart. Some argue that the children need the strengthening of confirmation as soon as possible, other argue that early completion of the Sacraments makes them lose interest in continuing religious education.

To avoid “restored order” some parents who prefer the separation of the Sacraments have gone to another parish where the separation is the usual situation. I heard recently that it is NOT necessary to change parishes to have separate administration of these Sacraments, that it is the parents’ decision if they prefer that their child receive the two Sacraments separately, even a few years apart. (It is certainly the pastor’s decision if a child is or is not, in his judgment, “ready” for a Sacrament). But I heard that the parents have the right to delay or to separate the two Sacraments. This was news to me, and from the conversations I have had with parents, it may also be news to some parents that a parent can decide. Before I pass this advice on to the parents I do want to be sure I heard right…that the parents can say that they only want the children to receive First Communion, and want to delay on Confirmation.

Another question about parents rights involves Children’s Liturgy of the Word: I have heard that it is also the parents’ decision whether or not their children leave the church for the Children’s Liturgy of the Word, or remain with the family. An “adult” homily might make a parent lean toward their leaving; a special family event might make a parent lean toward their staying. Simply put, again, can someone confirm that it IS the parents’ decision?

That would be correct Parents have a central role in Sacramental preparation.

 

[thomasf]

I can’t say what is right or wrong. I can speak from experience. I was confirmed at age 16 and had to go to ccd classes until we were confirmed. As much as I hated it, and as much as I seemed to not learn what I should have, I did get SOMETHING out of all those years of ccd and religion classes. The last 3 years before confirmation was spent in a seperate group of classes for teens with lots of special programs for kids that age. I didn’t like them then, but as I look back now as a revert, I can see it was good for me.

My sister’s kids on the other hand had their first communion and confirmation at the same time. Now she doesn’t send them anywhere for ccd or religion classes, and she pretty much sees it as her job being over and done with as far as formation. They were confirmed at an early age, and basically won’t get those formation classes like I did in my early years. I fear that they do not and will not know their catholic faith because of this.

If I had kids in formation, whether or not they were confirmed early or late I’d want them in religion classes or ccd or formation throughout their teen years. And I do think that youth masses aimed at younger kids would be great!

 

[SMHW]

I don’t know about parents having a choice regarding restored order. As you have said, there are pros and cons to each way of doing things.

As for Children’s Liturgy of the Word it is strictly optional. It’s optional for a parish to offer it and it’s optional for children to attend.

Unless perhaps you are speaking about Breaking open the Word sessions for children going through RCIA. That would be another matter. I’ve known of young catechumens who were expected to attend CLOW as a form of Breaking Open the Word.

 

[frommi]

The Bishop ultimately has to decide the order in which sacraments are received in his diocese.

The restored order is certainly a more correct and traditional way of doing things.

 

[hopefull]

Thank you for the replies so far. And while I agree that the bishop and pastor decide on what is offered, and can say a child is not ready, my real question is about the rights of parents. Can they say “I only want my child to now receive First Confession/Communion now and not Confirmation yet?” Can the priest say “Unless you do them all at the same time, you can’t do any [in his parish]?” What are the parents’ specific rights in this situation? Thank you if anyone knows.

 

[Brendan]

The Bishop ultimately has to decide the order in which sacraments are received in his diocese.

The restored order is certainly a more correct and traditional way of doing things.

Hey Frommi,

Make a note in your calendar, it’s a red letter day! I’m actually in 100% agreement with you

 

[BlestOne]

I agree with the poster that said that some parents tend to see confirmation as their child’s education to be over. My own sister has stopped faithfully attending mass since her kids were confirmed. I think it is sad. I really prefer the standard confirmation in 8th or 9th grade because they go to PSR a little longer and they have more of a chance to make the decision for themselves. I stressed to my kids that it was a very important decision to be confirmed meant that they had made the decision to follow the teachings of the church in all respects and that they were now morally responsible for that decision. I fully believe that because of the confirmation prep they got a glimpse of what it is like to be an adult Christian. After confirmation in my parish, the kids are encouraged to participate more fully in the church as lectors, ushers, choir members etc… I think it is a very good transition for them. Also, by doing it this way, my kids learned way more than I ever expected and all of them scored highest in their school on the diocesan catechism tests. I was more proud of that then any other accomplishments they made!

 

[KatieD]

Children’s Liturgy of the Word is optional. Right before the readings, our priest generally calls for the children to come up to the front for a blessing before they are dismissed. We have many children who attend, but there are some who do not, and that is fine also. They are back with us before the offertory; in fact, we usually ask for volunteers to bring up the Gifts, and we always have lots of children who want to do this.

 

[kage_ar]

ANYTHING that works to remove the idea that “confirmation is graduation” is a good thing

 

[az_4_faith]

I agree with the poster that said that some parents tend to see confirmation as their child’s education to be over.

That’s what needs to be changed.

We need to show, by example, that learning one’s faith is a life-long process. It shouldn’t have anything to do with what age one receive’s the sacraments of intitation.

 

[PatienceAndLove]

ANYTHING that works to remove the idea that “confirmation is graduation” is a good thing

Confirmation isn’t graduation!
It’s Confirming the choice to be an adult in the Faith and Confriming your adherence to the teachings/traditions/practices of the Church and the Faith. That in and of itself means that you are now REQUIRED to attend Mass faithfully, and to defend, and accept, any and all teachings of the Church with fervor.

What’s sad is I had to come to the conclusion on my own, it was never taught to me.

 

[Friar_David_O.Carm]

Confirmation isn’t graduation!
It’s Confirming the choice to be an adult in the Faith and Confriming your adherence to the teachings/traditions/practices of the Church and the Faith. That in and of itself means that you are now REQUIRED to attend Mass faithfully, and to defend, and accept, any and all teachings of the Church with fervor.

What’s sad is I had to come to the conclusion on my own, it was never taught to me.

This is not so. While it is what Confirmation has become today, it is not what it really is.

The correct order of the Sacraments of Initiation are Baptism, Confirmation, First Eucharist. How can you receive the Eucharist when you have not been Confirmed?

The Eastern Church have kept the correct order and are proof that Confirmation is not an adult decision to keep the faith as all of the Sacraments of Initiation are performed on infants.

One of the reasons for the break between First Eucharist and Confirmation in the Western Church is that it is the bishop who confirms while the priest does First Eucharist.

More and more bishop are storing the order and moving Confirmation before First Eucharist.

I do not believe that a parent can request that one be skipped in preference for the other. The bishop sets the order. If you think your child is not ready for Confirmation then they are not ready for First Eucharist either.

Resorted order should not be in quotes either because it is truly a restoration of the order of the Sacraments of Initiation.

 

[KCT]

My sister’s kids on the other hand had their first communion and confirmation at the same time. Now she doesn’t send them anywhere for ccd or religion classes, and she pretty much sees it as her job being over and done with as far as formation.

That’s unfortunate. It sounds like your sister was not well catechized.

Personally, I think that until there is widespread, solid catechesis for parents/ adults, the sort of thing you mention will continue.

Our former DRE tried to implement family catechesis. No one wanted it. The parents just wanted to drop off the kids and come back later.

Whether kids are confirmed younger or older doesn’t much matter, IMO, if the parents don’t take their role seriously.
—KCT

 

[az_4_faith]

The Sacrament of Confirmation took on a very distinct Protestant tone when the age was moved to the midteen years - it mirrored the notion of “accepting the Lord Jesus Christ as your personal Lord and Savior” - (“are you saved?”).

I live in a diocese that has restored the original order of the sacraments and I couldn’t be happier.

Now, instead of waiting for the children to “make their decision” at such an awkward stage in their lives – the teen years – children are being prepared for Confirmation and First Communion at the same time. They are excited about the Sacraments!

In this day and age, our young people need as much armour as they can get - even at a young age.

I think the fruits of this change will be incredible.

Let’s pray fervently that they continue to receive religious instruction, both from their parents, from their parish and even by self-motivation. God won’t abandon them and we have to make sure that we don’t either.

 

[frommi]

Hey Frommi,

Make a note in your calendar, it’s a red letter day! I’m actually in 100% agreement with you

You’d find that we probably agree on quite a bit more than we disagree on.

 

[hopefull]

sniff…

Does anyone know what the parental rights are in this situation?

 

[PatienceAndLove]

This is not so. While it is what Confirmation has become today, it is not what it really is.

The correct order of the Sacraments of Initiation are Baptism, Confirmation, First Eucharist. How can you receive the Eucharist when you have not been Confirmed?

Good point. I just have never heard of this order…except at Easter Vigil. And now that I think about it… it makes total sense!

However, I am responding to the Western connotation of Confirmation, and what it has come to mean. But I am in agreement with you.
Question, though… with this order in mind, what would the Baltimore Catechism order look like, then?

 

[Br.Rich_SFO]

Thank you for the replies so far. And while I agree that the bishop and pastor decide on what is offered, and can say a child is not ready, my real question is about the rights of parents. Can they say “I only want my child to now receive First Confession/Communion now and not Confirmation yet?” Can the priest say “Unless you do them all at the same time, you can’t do any [in his parish]?” What are the parents’ specific rights in this situation? Thank you if anyone knows.

In the Latin Church the Sacraments are NOT a package deal. After a child has been prepared by the parents to receive a Sacrament, they may request that that Sacrament be celebrated.