Thank you for the replies so far. And while I agree that the bishop and pastor decide on what is offered, and can say a child is not ready, my real question is about the rights of parents. Can they say “I only want my child to now receive First Confession/Communion now and not Confirmation yet?” Can the priest say “Unless you do them all at the same time, you can’t do any [in his parish]?” What are the parents’ specific rights in this situation? Thank you if anyone knows.
It seems to me that the parents have a responsibility to follow the Church’s authorities in this. If the child has been baptised, I am not aware of any Church document that gives them a right to delay the sacraments.
The Code of Canon Law seems to emphasise the duty of parents, rather than rights. From canon 914:
“It is primarily the duty of parents and of those who take their place, as it is the duty of the parish priest, to ensure that children who have reached the use of reason are properly prepared and, having made their sacramental confession, are nourished by this divine food as soon as possible. …”
(The Code of Canon Law: New revised English Translation, HarperCollins Liturgical, 1997, ISBN 000599375X.)
Another example: “Can. 1366 Parents, and those taking the place of parents, who hand over their children to be baptised or brought up in a non-catholic religion, are to be punished with a censure or other just penalty.”
The church recognises that parents have considerable power over their children. But it does not encourage them to use this power against legitimate church authority.
On the order of the sacraments, the church’s teaching is at present quite complicated. As Pope Benedict wrote in the 2007 Apostolic Exhortation Sacramentum Caritatis
vatican.va/holy_father/benedict_xvi/apost_exhortations/documents/hf_ben-xvi_exh_20070222_sacramentum-caritatis_en.html
“**The order of the sacraments of initiation **18. In this regard, attention needs to be paid to the order of the sacraments of initiation. Different traditions exist within the Church. There is a clear variation between, on the one hand, the ecclesial customs of the East (50) and the practice of the West regarding the initiation of adults, (51) and, on the other hand, the procedure adopted for children. (52) Yet these variations are not properly of the dogmatic order, but are pastoral in character. Concretely, it needs to be seen which practice better enables the faithful to put the sacrament of the Eucharist at the centre, as the goal of the whole process of initiation. In close collaboration with the competent offices of the Roman Curia, Bishops’ Conferences should examine the effectiveness of current approaches to Christian initiation, so that the faithful can be helped both to mature through the formation received in our communities and to give their lives an authentically eucharistic direction, so that they can offer a reason for the hope within them in a way suited to our times (cf. 1 Pet 3:15).
Footnotes:
(50) Cf. Code of Canons of the Eastern Churches, can. 710.
(51) Cf. Rite of the Christian Initiation of Adults, General Introduction, 34-36.
(52) Cf. Rite of Baptism for Children, Introduction, 18-19.”
Pope Benedict seems to see it as a question for Conferences of Bishops, rather than individual parents.
For children who are not baptised, the book “Rite of Christian Initiation of Adults” has a section CHRISTIAN INITIATION OF CHILDREN WHO HAVE REACHED CATECHETICAL AGE. This includes:
“244. … 2. It is to be hoped that the children will also receive as much help and example as possible from the parents, whose permission is required for the children to be initiated and to live the Christian life. The period of initiation will also provide a good opportunity for the family to have contact with priests and catechists.”
(From the RCIA introductions for England and Wales:
catholic-ew.org.uk/liturgy/Resources/Rites/RiteRitual.html#RCIA . The USA edition has different paragraph numbers.)
Here the three sacraments of initiation are received in the one ceremony.