Maybe I should stay Protestant

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I’m more than a little disappointed in my journey back to the RC church and my side curiosity in the EOC. I’ve been two EO churches, both VERY small, and obviously a visitor, little was done to evangelize me. There was a couple of nice folks there… but almost nothing done to want me to come back to that congregation… They may have already thought you were Catholic
At least RC parishes have a local radio station to evangelize, but the local parishes aren’t overly friendly either.They most likely are focused on the Real Presence.
I am scheduled to get my marriage convalidated next month… but I figured now would be a good time to make sure that I want to get back into the RC. Whatever I choose… I want it to be the last time.
I like what I read about the EO approach to theology… but without instruction…
I kind of get a “you should feel priviledged to worship with us” from the EO & RC churches. It is no so much as you are priviledged to worship with us, more like you are blessed to be in the Blessed Sacraments Presence The local Protestant churches do everything they can to get more members and follow-up with visitors, get their name, address, visit their home, give them an info packet, etc…
I came away thinking… they’re not friendly,Friendly does not equal holy a lot of non-english speaking folks, what do I have in common with them?I hope that you would get that you are human like them and believe in God. That they have feeling, ideas, thoughts, and love of God. Since the Catholic Church is a UNIVERSAL Church. Why investigate changing if they’re not really interested in converts…
 
Actually I’m Catholic 🙂
Good reminder. Thank you. Though **you don’t believe **in quite the way we do, or at least Lutheran’s don’t. My understanding from a Lutheran is that they believe the Real Presence does not remain after communion (but maybe I have this wrong.) For us, we believe the bread and wine become the Real Presence and don’t change back. To go into a Catholic church and know that there is Eucharist in the tabernacle is to know you are not alone. You can enter a Catholic church to pray, and be there with nobody else, but know that Christ is physically there with you.

And you can even go to Mass every day and receive Him…every day.

Either way, I hope the OP eventually realizes that he needs to figure out that if he doesn’t want to change again (and he has said he doesn’t) he needs to join a church for it’s teachings, not it’s sociability. Even among protestants, some churches are more social than others. Often it depends on church leadership.
 
While I agree with most of the posters here that it is true doctrine and true worship that is most important, I think the OP’s concerns should not be sloughed off. The fact is, as another poster has mentioned, the Church of Christ is also supposed to be about community, and fellowship, and outreach, and, in my experience, the Protestant churches, especially the evangelicals, do a much better job with that.
I’m lucky in that the Orthodox church I usually attend is actually very welcoming of visitors, and has a church pot luck after every Sunday DL, so there is actually a pretty good community there. But I understand it isn’t always that way.
It seems to me that Orthodox, Catholic and Prot/Evangelical each have things they can and should learn from each other.
 
I believe that I have had a similiar experience. It’s not evangelicalism but, I believe, a sense of community. Reading the responses were a bit disheartening. The church is not just the body and blood of Christ. The church is a community brought together by the presence of Christ. Why not a simple hello welcome? We are all in the same community whether you are from far off lands or just down the block. WE come together to worship and bring Christ to worship with us. I do understand the importance of Christ’s presence but that is not all he asks of us in our worship. I may be young in my understanding but please in your love of Christ do not abandon the love of your neighbor.
Are your parishes big or small? I used to belong to a parish with more than 3,000 families. There were 4 or 5 masses on a Sunday. Anybody could go at any time and not be recognized by anybody for sheer number. After a few months of going to the same mass, though, you get to recognize people. But most importantly, why are you once again investigating the RC church? Are you looking for absolute truth? (to Dave) Yes, it’s nice to be recognized. I think, depending on one’s personality, it could take a short or a long time to get to know people. However, don’t forget that fellowship happens “outside of mass”. After mass coffees, pancake breakfasts, prayer groups, bible studies, CWL, prep classes, K of C, bizarres, etc. etc.
 
You exist for the glory of God and not to make idle conversation and friends.

In the Catholic Church, our Lord is present in the Eucharist and is offered up to the Eternal Father by the priest who stands in His Person. The various protestant faith communities, however friendly, do not have that great gift.

I wouldn’t mind going to a Church and being blanked by everyone, as long as I got to assist at the Sacrifice of the Mass/Divine Liturgy.
 
Glory to Jesus Christ!
I’m more than a little disappointed in my journey back to the RC church and my side curiosity in the EOC. I’ve been two EO churches, both VERY small, and obviously a visitor, little was done to evangelize me. There was a couple of nice folks there… but almost nothing done to want me to come back to that congregation…

I like what I read about the EO approach to theology… but without instruction…
I kind of get a “you should feel priviledged to worship with us” from the EO & RC churches. The local Protestant churches do everything they can to get more members and follow-up with visitors, get their name, address, visit their home, give them an info packet, etc…
I came away thinking… they’re not friendly, a lot of non-english speaking folks, what do I have in common with them? Why investigate changing if they’re not really interested in converts…
I’m sorry you haven’t had a warmer welcome at either the Roman Catholic nor the Orthodox churches.

Have you looked at Eastern Catholics? I see St. Basil’s Eastern Catholic listed as Irving
Metro Area: Dallas. Their parish website says they just got assigned a new pastor, Feb 19, 2010. The site includes What to Expect When Visiting Saint Basil’s According to their website they are celebrating the Liturgy of Presanctified Gifts Weds and Fridays in Great Lent, with dinner afterward on Fridays.

Their website indicates that Byzantines in Texas were without an administrator for a couple of years and that it’s been a hard time for them. Their website looks remarkably healthy and parish quite active given the length of time it sounds like they were without a parish priest.

If you want to explore the Eastern Catholic and Orthodox sacramental, liturgical world view more I’d suggest taking a look at some of the posts made recently in “Websites Needed” which had a number of very good on line resources suggested.

When I travel I always attend Mass or Divine Liturgy, there’s not usually an EC church around, and can’t say people typically notice me and welcome me. In the smaller Orthodox parishes I’ve visited it’s usually a warm smile I get, not much more.Over time as I’ve gone more often for festal vigils etc at a small Orthodox parish they have been very warm and friendly, even though it’s known I’m Eastern Catholic not on a journey into their church. Neither my EC parish nor that Orthodox parish use service books so that can be a challenge for visitors. I think the priests in both these parishes see the Divine Liturgy as its own catechesis and prefer to have people listen and watch and follow along when you figure out what is going on rather than have their noses in a service book. I think this is very wise, but does not suit some people. After DL we do our best to answer questions, and as much as possible without being too disruptive, during the DL can assist with answers.

In my tiny Eastern Catholic parish we have struggled with figuring out what would be a good thing to give to people to take away with them when they visit. I think we do a good job of greeting any visitors and very often they do stay for our Agape meal after Liturgy. Sometimes the length of the DL puts people off, or they just don’t have the time to spend the 4 hours of their day in Liturgy and eating and socializing. Occasionally people walk out during DL after 30 or 40 mins and we don’t know what happened.
At least RC parishes have a local radio station to evangelize, but the local parishes aren’t overly friendly either.
I am scheduled to get my marriage convalidated next month… but I figured now would be a good time to make sure that I want to get back into the RC. Whatever I choose… I want it to be the last time.
Are you in a group for returning Catholics? If not that might be helpful. I’d encourage you to seek a spiritual father as well. Your parish priest, where you’re seeking convalidation, might have some suggestions for one, or the chancery/diocese may. Since you mentioned visiting Orthodox parishes you could ask at the chancery if there are bi-ritual priests. First I’d see what’s up at St. Basil’s.

I came into the Latin Church with almost no formation and then the church where I was going to Mass was destroyed in an earthquake. I wasn’t at all involved with the parish so after the building was gone I wandered around for a long time. When I finally did find another parish, after a lot of catechesis on my own and thru Catholic TV and radio, I sought out some “ministries” to get involved with in the parish, beginning with helping to clean the church twice a month. Now even though I’m really in an Eastern Catholic parish I continue my connection with the Latin parish because of the connections I made through the service I’ve been involved with there, including EMHC and RCIA.

You have several issues going on in your current journey and, again, I think the help of a qualified spiritual father would be really helpful.

I do hope you can try St. Basil’s. During Great Lent there are the extra liturgies, which they seem to be celebrating. On Wed I will go to the Great Canon & Reading of the Life of St. Mary of Egypt at the Orthodox parish I go to when my parish doesn’t have these services. These Lenten services in the East are so rich. It takes me an hour to get to either the ECC or the Orthodox parishes but it’s well worth it to me. There is nothing like great Lent and already we’re feeling the excitement of Pascha.

I hope you will find some ways to get the support you need on this part of your journey.
pax- Mary
 
I know I’m going to catch he$$ for saying this but I’m going for it anyway…

We Catholics should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. Instead of repeating that we have the Eucharist, the Sacrifice of the Mass, the Pope, etc. and saying that the other things like friendliness, fellowship, making visitors feel invited, tight-knit community etc. just aren’t as important, why don’t we try to make them important?

Would it be so hard for the celebrant priest to say: “to anyone visiting St. Mary’s today, welcome. If you’re not Catholic or you are new to the diocese or parish, please stick around after Mass and we’d love to get to know you.” Couldn’t we make a fellowship time after Mass like coffee hour? Is it that tough?

We Catholics just tend to say, “Yeah, well, that’s just the way it is!”

“I sure get tired of man-handling and wrestling with my kids during Mass. I can’t even listen or focus. I wish they had child care!”

response: “hey we have 7 sacraments, the pope, the eucharist, the Mass and it’s not about you, buddy. We don’t have child care and that’s the way it is!”

“I feel isolated, like I don’t know anybody. I don’t feel welcomed here or at home.”

response: “yeah, well we have the only true Eucharist so suck it up, friend. you don’t come here for a country club! that’s just the way it is!”

I think Christ calls us to walk and chew gum. We CAN have seven sacraments, the Pope, validity, and be the true Church WHILE WE are friendly, have fellowship, make people feel welcome, and act like Christ wants us to act.

The OP is frustrated and honestly as a Catholic so am I. We had our celebrant today tell the congregation about how unfriendly we are. He said that in the third world people are so friendly, out-going, welcoming, and that as the priest people aren’t friendly enough to him and he’s had enough. I walk up to shake hands and say hi to him and he looks like this bland robot and says, 'hi" with this corpse-like enthusiasm. He was that way to everyone. The priest lectures us on friendliness and he in turn is unfriendly after he begs us to gree him?

Today I saw people bowing to the giant Mary statue when they came in the building instead of bowing to the tabernacle or altar. I saw 90% of people holding hands during the Our Father, the priest even forgot to open the Mass with “in the name of Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!!,” they sang the ever-Baptisty Amazing Grace, and the priest was a dud. Can we do better? Yes. Should we do better? Yes. Instead of casting off the OP’s concerns with a “suck it up, dude!” message, maybe we should take constructive criticism and try to do better.

Now I’ll duck as the tomatoes come at me! :p:eek:
 
I know I’m going to catch he$$ for saying this but I’m going for it anyway…

We Catholics should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. Instead of repeating that we have the Eucharist, the Sacrifice of the Mass, the Pope, etc. and saying that the other things like friendliness, fellowship, making visitors feel invited, tight-knit community etc. just aren’t as important, why don’t we try to make them important?

Would it be so hard for the celebrant priest to say: “to anyone visiting St. Mary’s today, welcome. If you’re not Catholic or you are new to the diocese or parish, please stick around after Mass and we’d love to get to know you.” Couldn’t we make a fellowship time after Mass like coffee hour? Is it that tough?

We Catholics just tend to say, “Yeah, well, that’s just the way it is!”

“I sure get tired of man-handling and wrestling with my kids during Mass. I can’t even listen or focus. I wish they had child care!”

response: “hey we have 7 sacraments, the pope, the eucharist, the Mass and it’s not about you, buddy. We don’t have child care and that’s the way it is!”

“I feel isolated, like I don’t know anybody. I don’t feel welcomed here or at home.”

response: “yeah, well we have the only true Eucharist so suck it up, friend. you don’t come here for a country club! that’s just the way it is!”

I think Christ calls us to walk and chew gum. We CAN have seven sacraments, the Pope, validity, and be the true Church WHILE WE are friendly, have fellowship, make people feel welcome, and act like Christ wants us to act.

The OP is frustrated and honestly as a Catholic so am I. We had our celebrant today tell the congregation about how unfriendly we are. He said that in the third world people are so friendly, out-going, welcoming, and that as the priest people aren’t friendly enough to him and he’s had enough. I walk up to shake hands and say hi to him and he looks like this bland robot and says, 'hi" with this corpse-like enthusiasm. He was that way to everyone. The priest lectures us on friendliness and he in turn is unfriendly after he begs us to gree him?

Today I saw people bowing to the giant Mary statue when they came in the building instead of bowing to the tabernacle or altar. I saw 90% of people holding hands during the Our Father, the priest even forgot to open the Mass with “in the name of Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!!,” they sang the ever-Baptisty Amazing Grace, and the priest was a dud. Can we do better? Yes. Should we do better? Yes. Instead of casting off the OP’s concerns with a “suck it up, dude!” message, maybe we should take constructive criticism and try to do better.

Now I’ll duck as the tomatoes come at me! :p:eek:
The only tomatoes coming from me will be nice fresh ripe ones handed gently to you along with a butcher knife for you to cut them up and enjoy them.🙂
 
Sorry if I have came across as a (&^$#&. I am very frustrated over the past few months. I feel I am in a whirlwind and not getting clear spiritual direction from God… (ok it’s probably me not listening or not wanting to hear the answer 🙂 )
My kids are rejecting Christianity altogether and I feel rotten for being lead to the Protestant churches in the first place…
Anyways I apologize for a tone I may have…
 
I know I’m going to catch he$$ for saying this but I’m going for it anyway…

We Catholics should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. Instead of repeating that we have the Eucharist, the Sacrifice of the Mass, the Pope, etc. and saying that the other things like friendliness, fellowship, making visitors feel invited, tight-knit community etc. just aren’t as important, why don’t we try to make them important?

Would it be so hard for the celebrant priest to say: “to anyone visiting St. Mary’s today, welcome. If you’re not Catholic or you are new to the diocese or parish, please stick around after Mass and we’d love to get to know you.” Couldn’t we make a fellowship time after Mass like coffee hour? Is it that tough?

We Catholics just tend to say, “Yeah, well, that’s just the way it is!”

“I sure get tired of man-handling and wrestling with my kids during Mass. I can’t even listen or focus. I wish they had child care!”

response: “hey we have 7 sacraments, the pope, the eucharist, the Mass and it’s not about you, buddy. We don’t have child care and that’s the way it is!”

“I feel isolated, like I don’t know anybody. I don’t feel welcomed here or at home.”

response: “yeah, well we have the only true Eucharist so suck it up, friend. you don’t come here for a country club! that’s just the way it is!”

I think Christ calls us to walk and chew gum. We CAN have seven sacraments, the Pope, validity, and be the true Church WHILE WE are friendly, have fellowship, make people feel welcome, and act like Christ wants us to act.

The OP is frustrated and honestly as a Catholic so am I. We had our celebrant today tell the congregation about how unfriendly we are. He said that in the third world people are so friendly, out-going, welcoming, and that as the priest people aren’t friendly enough to him and he’s had enough. I walk up to shake hands and say hi to him and he looks like this bland robot and says, 'hi" with this corpse-like enthusiasm. He was that way to everyone. The priest lectures us on friendliness and he in turn is unfriendly after he begs us to gree him?

Today I saw people bowing to the giant Mary statue when they came in the building instead of bowing to the tabernacle or altar. I saw 90% of people holding hands during the Our Father, the priest even forgot to open the Mass with “in the name of Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!!,” they sang the ever-Baptisty Amazing Grace, and the priest was a dud. Can we do better? Yes. Should we do better? Yes. Instead of casting off the OP’s concerns with a “suck it up, dude!” message, maybe we should take constructive criticism and try to do better.

Now I’ll duck as the tomatoes come at me! :p:eek:
While I agree we should be able to be friendly with others (and the parish I go to is full of folks who are), this is not the reason to choose whether to be Protestant or Catholic.

And yes, church leadership makes a huge difference. I’m sorry your priest is the way he is. All Catholic churches aren’t that way.
 
Sorry if I have came across as a (&^$#&. I am very frustrated over the past few months. I feel I am in a whirlwind and not getting clear spiritual direction from God… (ok it’s probably me not listening or not wanting to hear the answer 🙂 )
My kids are rejecting Christianity altogether and I feel rotten for being lead to the Protestant churches in the first place…
Anyways I apologize for a tone I may have…
I am always impressed with people who apologize. Praying you find your direction, and praying for your kids. That’s got to be so difficult.
 
I know I’m going to catch he$$ for saying this but I’m going for it anyway…

We Catholics should be able to walk and chew gum at the same time. Instead of repeating that we have the Eucharist, the Sacrifice of the Mass, the Pope, etc. and saying that the other things like friendliness, fellowship, making visitors feel invited, tight-knit community etc. just aren’t as important, why don’t we try to make them important?

Would it be so hard for the celebrant priest to say: “to anyone visiting St. Mary’s today, welcome. If you’re not Catholic or you are new to the diocese or parish, please stick around after Mass and we’d love to get to know you.” Couldn’t we make a fellowship time after Mass like coffee hour? Is it that tough?

We Catholics just tend to say, “Yeah, well, that’s just the way it is!”

“I sure get tired of man-handling and wrestling with my kids during Mass. I can’t even listen or focus. I wish they had child care!”

response: “hey we have 7 sacraments, the pope, the eucharist, the Mass and it’s not about you, buddy. We don’t have child care and that’s the way it is!”

“I feel isolated, like I don’t know anybody. I don’t feel welcomed here or at home.”

response: “yeah, well we have the only true Eucharist so suck it up, friend. you don’t come here for a country club! that’s just the way it is!”

I think Christ calls us to walk and chew gum. We CAN have seven sacraments, the Pope, validity, and be the true Church WHILE WE are friendly, have fellowship, make people feel welcome, and act like Christ wants us to act.

The OP is frustrated and honestly as a Catholic so am I. We had our celebrant today tell the congregation about how unfriendly we are. He said that in the third world people are so friendly, out-going, welcoming, and that as the priest people aren’t friendly enough to him and he’s had enough. I walk up to shake hands and say hi to him and he looks like this bland robot and says, 'hi" with this corpse-like enthusiasm. He was that way to everyone. The priest lectures us on friendliness and he in turn is unfriendly after he begs us to gree him?

Today I saw people bowing to the giant Mary statue when they came in the building instead of bowing to the tabernacle or altar. I saw 90% of people holding hands during the Our Father, the priest even forgot to open the Mass with “in the name of Father, the Son, and the Holy Spirit!!,” they sang the ever-Baptisty Amazing Grace, and the priest was a dud. Can we do better? Yes. Should we do better? Yes. Instead of casting off the OP’s concerns with a “suck it up, dude!” message, maybe we should take constructive criticism and try to do better.

Now I’ll duck as the tomatoes come at me! :p:eek:
Great post. We have to do a better job on this. I felt the same way when I came back. You just have to hang in there I guess and God will make things happen. That’s what I’m trying to do. Amen
 
indeed that is a good post. I for one would like to see a hospitality gathering available every week after every mass, we don’t have bible study, need that; apolagetics class, need that;… and the beat goes on
 
there is a potential convert writing about this in
Evangelization, Why is it so hard to be Catholic
they are having the same problem and I referred him to this thread so he can see there is a problem all over the place.

We have to find a way to do better. Maybe this needs to go to the Bishop in the two areas to get someone’s attention. I feel for these people but they are out of my state.

Any senior posters have an idea to get prompt action for them???
 
indeed that is a good post. I for one would like to see a hospitality gathering available every week after every mass, we don’t have bible study, need that; apolagetics class, need that;… and the beat goes on
Yes.
My Latin parish does have a number of groups, all led by lay folks, including Bible study, that meet during the week. I wonder if that came about due to the charism of the Congregation of Sacred Hearts priests who served the parish for a number of years. I have heard they transformed the parish. These groups are not something that are very well promoted. There are coffee and donuts after Masses.

At my ECC we have agape lunch every Sunday and then Bible study for about an hour, or currently for Great Lent are reading and discussing The Ladder of Divine Ascent. It means I leave home at 8:15am and get back home around 3:30pm after dropping off a couple of people. I think eating a meal together after Liturgy is standard in EC and Orthodox parishes. We’re hungry after not eating since the night before and standing for a couple of hours. So much of the year we’re also in periods of abstaining from meat and dairy and that also takes on a special quality which we share as a community. 🙂
 
Sorry if I have came across as a (&^$#&. I am very frustrated over the past few months. I feel I am in a whirlwind and not getting clear spiritual direction from God… (ok it’s probably me not listening or not wanting to hear the answer )
My kids are rejecting Christianity altogether and I feel rotten for being lead to the Protestant churches in the first place…
Anyways I apologize for a tone I may have…
Dave in Dallas,

I would respectfully suggest making a Cursillio Weekend. Its the best thing I have ever done for myself. It is a weekend where you are rejuvenated in your faith. You can contact someone from the website below.

ftworthcursillo.org/

Fort worth is having a weekend on April 29.

natl-cursillo.org/

The Cursillio Movement was started in the 1940’s has been recognized by the Pope and is world wide.
 
I’m more than a little disappointed in my journey back to the RC church and my side curiosity in the EOC. I’ve been two EO churches, both VERY small, and obviously a visitor, little was done to evangelize me. There was a couple of nice folks there… but almost nothing done to want me to come back to that congregation…
At least RC parishes have a local radio station to evangelize, but the local parishes aren’t overly friendly either.
I am scheduled to get my marriage convalidated next month… but I figured now would be a good time to make sure that I want to get back into the RC. Whatever I choose… I want it to be the last time.
I like what I read about the EO approach to theology… but without instruction…
I kind of get a “you should feel priviledged to worship with us” from the EO & RC churches. The local Protestant churches do everything they can to get more members and follow-up with visitors, get their name, address, visit their home, give them an info packet, etc…
I came away thinking… they’re not friendly, a lot of non-english speaking folks, what do I have in common with them? Why investigate changing if they’re not really interested in converts…
What exactly are you looking for in the Church. Are you looking for the living Christ made possible by the Eucharist. Then you will find that in the RCC. In the Protestatant Church they do not have the power of Holy Orders to change bread and wine into the Living Christ. That should over power any other need possible.🤷
 
Sorry if I have came across as a (&^$#&. I am very frustrated over the past few months. I feel I am in a whirlwind and not getting clear spiritual direction from God… (ok it’s probably me not listening or not wanting to hear the answer 🙂 ) My kids are rejecting Christianity altogether and I feel rotten for being lead to the Protestant churches in the first place… Anyways I apologize for a tone I may have…
Hi Brother Dave,

try to go on an ACTS retreat in your area; I’m up in Denton, so I know you won’t have to go far (DFW). This will help you ‘plug-in’ to fellowship at your parish/diocese. PM me if you want more details, or help finding. (actsmissions.org) - they have a schedule there.

Likewise, Kiddos should attend the Life-Teen program at your parish - tons of fun, fellowship, and faith-building there for them.

Not every parish has these activities - just check around ; best thing is that most parishes offer an open-invite to others that don’t have it available (Catholic church = Universal! - you’re always welcome . . ! ! ).

holler if you need any help. Don’t stand out in the cold/dark any longer . . . ! !

-G
 
Thanks everyone for the responses and emails. A lot of good stuff to go through, and explore.
 
Dave in Dallas,

I would respectfully suggest making a Cursillio Weekend. Its the best thing I have ever done for myself. It is a weekend where you are rejuvenated in your faith. You can contact someone from the website below.

ftworthcursillo.org/

Fort worth is having a weekend on April 29.

natl-cursillo.org/

The Cursillio Movement was started in the 1940’s has been recognized by the Pope and is world wide.
Avoid Cursillo like the plague!! Its very cultish, and has been banned in a number of diocese. Not a good thing!!
 
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