There are bad people within the church yes, but that is apart from it’s teachings, and those who are bad within the church are those who do not listen to the church, they are what we call bad examples, but they need help just as much as anyone else, they need saving too, so don’t think that they will get into heaven any easier than those outside the church…they need our prayers…
maybe you would benefit from reading the lives of the saints, they are examples of what you become when you obey God and His teachings(not in miracles, but in virtue), and sure it’s not an easy road, but it’s the most fulfilling and rewarding, and nothing can compare with it’s joys…because the greatest joy the saints had was God Himself, He is our true friend, doing what is best for us even at the risk of being hated…no one can call themselves a greater friend, because no one has ever died for the very people who killed him, and forgave, and gave every last drop of blood, not holding back anything, and as ungrateful and undeserving as we are, He still wants us, and loves us more than we understand…that is one of the reasons people hate God…because they don’t understand love…well, the more you learn to know God, the more you will understand what love is, because God is love, and the more you understand that, the more you will be able to grow in love…not that you’re feelings of affection will increase, since love is not a feeling, but instead your love will become more perfect, you will love as you should…which is a much more vast thing than you may realize…and God needs friends too…but we only seem to want to give our friendship to those who are useful to us and make us feel good…whereas God seeks something more important, the salvation of our immortal souls, which matters more than getting what we want and feeling good…your true friends are the ones who risk being hated for the sake of saving your soul, the ones who would die for you, or at least sacrifice their own comfort and joys for your sake…
God gives us everything, even those friends and family you consider your heaven…but if you know they’re not in the right spiritual condition to enter heaven, then what are you doing? you have to understand first of all, it’s not that God doesn’t want them in heaven, it’s that heaven would be hell for them if they did not love God, because heaven IS God…when you love the world and the things of this world, and do not love God, then what is heaven going to be for you? you’re not going to just all of a sudden change when you die, you must learn to love God while you’re here, and if not, you choose hell willingly, not because God sends you there, but because there is no longer a place to go, since the world you loved is gone, and now you are faced with the unbearable reality that you have lost God, and hell, with all its torments, is a distraction from that ultimate pain.
if you want to understand your religion, seek the answers from the right places, don’t try to read the bible on your own, and if you don’t understand something, look for the answers, get yourself a good spiritual director, i would recommend a priest from the FSSP if you have one nearby, and check out these sites for some of the best explanations of our faith you can find -
audiosancto.org/
keepthefaith.org/
fultonsheen.com/Fulton-Sheen-MP3.cfm
youtube.com/user/CatholicClips#g/p
tanbooks.com/index.php
store.saintbenedict.com/index.php?page=shop.browse&category_id=12&option=com_virtuemart&Itemid=1&vmcchk=1&Itemid=1
there’s no need to give up, because that will get you no further than you are now, it will only take you backwards, you need to move forward, and although you may have been seeking answers, you were not looking in the right places, so give it another try, and especially you have to pray, not just vocal prayers, but mental prayers, talk to God, tell Him what is on your mind, speak with him just as you are speaking to us, and then when you are done saying what you have to say, just sit with Him in silence for awhile, perhaps in a church, or just somewhere you can be alone and un-distracted…don’t give up, you have nothing to gain for yourself or your friends that way, just give it some time, God loves you very much, He desires to be with you, He desires to make you happy, but you must listen to Him, He knows the right way for you to become as you were meant to be, to be happy and at peace,
just pray on it, and i will keep you in my prayers also…i am aware that no words may help you, but i’m sure prayers will, so that’s all, take care.
“Those who tell the Truth love you. Those who tell you what you want to hear love themselves.” -Mother Angelica.
‘What a weakness it is to love Jesus Christ only when He caresses us, and to be cold immediately once He afflicts us. This is not true love. Those who love thus, love themselves too much to love God with all their heart.’ St. Margaret Mary Alacoque
‘The sufferings endured for God are the greatest proof of our love for Him.’ St. Alphonsus Maria de Liguori
“To love God is something greater than to know Him.” St. Thomas Aquinas
‘Until you have eradicated evil, do not obey your heart; for it will seek more of what it already contains within itself.’ St. Mark the Ascetic
‘Why must we suffer? Because here below pure Love cannot exist without suffering. O Jesus, Jesus, I no longer feel my cross when I think of yours.’ - St. Bernadette Soubirous
‘The time has come: you must wake up now.’ Romans 13:11
“Have you forgotten what you are.” St.Severimus Boethius
‘Have death always before your eyes as a salutary means of returning to God.’ St. Bernard of Clairvaux
‘Enjoy yourself as much as you like - if only you keep from sin.’ St. John Bosco
We will probably not know the reason in our lifetimes.
