Maybe we all should just chill a bit

[Al_Masetti]

I can totally relate to the OP in this post. I like these forums, and have learned a lot here in the past year or so, but sometimes, they can be a huge turn off. I find that there are some posts, and posters, who could easily sway someone away from Catholicism the Church, and even God. I have read many a post where the “almighty I know everything Catholic” seems as though they can do know wrong, are quick to tell others how wrong they are, and are so blunt, you would think they wrote the rules themselves.

I return here however, as in between all that, there are a few good posters, and a lot of information in general. Just a quick example of what I’m talking about though. There is a recent thread about sexual sin, yeah, what else is new, LOL, and the OP was talking about the use of contracteption in marriage. Well, most follow ups of course stated, yep, it’s a mortal sin, if you keep doing it, and don’t confess it, your going straight to you know where. (OK, not exact words, but you get the idea).

No one would even touch on the concerns of the OP when wondering why this one thing would get you a one way ticket to hell no matter how well you lived. Yep, your going away, just like the guy that just murdered and raped 28 people in the next state.

Yes, an exageration on my part, but you get the idea, and there are a LOT of threads like that over time.

Anway, sorry for rambling on there, but just wanted to agree with the OP of this thread, that yeah, people here need to take it a bit easy at times, and realize we are ALL sinners, and require God’s grace, forgivness and love, to get where we ultimately want to be.

The issue of what is and what is not a mortal sin comes up over and over again.

And the relationship between contraception and sin is a serious and omnipresent issue. Which is why people get referred to groups that promote Natural Family Planning.

www.ccli.org

and

www.hli.org

 

[hansard]

Well, I’ve notice some of the above-mentioned stuff around here in my short time.
I work from the starting point that this forum is VERY good in what it can achieve for those with questions about the faith.
We could all be a little nicer to each other, that’s true, but I don’t see nastiness or lack of charity as a defining feature of the forum.
Once (here’s a confession) I was once a little too forthright in my advice to a poster who came in with the best of intentions. I wasn’t trying to be rude, but now I see how it might have come across that way. Anyway, I was taken to task by a moderator and took my medicine. No hard feelings, I assure you, but I thought afterwards, why not simply adopt a more moderate, understanding stance on difficult issues? Why not simply try to see where the poster is really coming from and offer them advice that they can actually use–or, failing that, simply stay away from the thread?
Respondents here are often far too willing to dismiss an issue with a scriptural reference or a quote from the Catechism, as if that solves everything or tells you everything you need to know. That, to me, is like a policeman or a lawyer saying “consult your acts of Parliament/Congress and the relevant precedents and judgements, and you’ll be right!”
This goes against the very nature of the forum–if the Catechism and Scripture had everything, people would read nothing else and never ask a question, even of their local priest. The purpose of forum (such as this), I believe, is to get some human interaction.
Long may it be so.

 

[Al_Masetti]

There is an excellent book on “Difficult Moral Questions”

amazon.com/Difficult-Moral-Questions-Lord-Jesus/dp/0819909815

 

[estesbob]

Jesus dined with sinners, His feet were anointed by a sinner, He chose sinners as His Apostles, He gave Mary to sinners as their mother, and He was buried by sinners. Truly He loves sinners and we must too!

Jesus rebuked sinners and told them they needed to repent.

 

[piejesu]

I look this forum in much the same way I look at my local parish, my diocese, the Church here on earth; not as a country club for saints, but a hospital for the sick. We are imperfect, but Christ calls us together to be one in the One Truth, Himself. I believe we find our place in Christ through our participation in the body which we are all members of through baptism. Myself I regard as one of those more feeble parts Paul talks about in Corinthians 12, but a member none the less. A wise spiritual director once said, come always as a servant and you will be less likely to take offense while on the journey.

 

[John92]

Seems the Bible had something to say about those who have “chilled a bit”

Revelation 3: 15-16

"I know your works; I know that you are neither cold nor hot. I wish you were either cold or hot. So, because you are lukewarm, neither hot nor cold, I will spit you out of my mouth. "

Sorry for calling you “self-righteous” kage, I know nothing about you and it wasn’t fair.

You just have to understand how . . . silly it looks, this forum full of threads that go something like “catholic answers, I looked at a girl twice on my way to the convenience store, have I condemned my soul to eternal hellfire?”

Sin is sin and mortal sin is mortal sin but, like other posters have said, the message needs to be conveyed with more love. And when OP said “chill a bit” he wasn’t talking about our morality, but merely the way we present it.

I grew up in a devout, large, Irish/Bavarian Catholic family in Buffalo and I never saw the sort of prudishness I see here.

 

[DominicVobiscum]

Kumbaya my Lord, Kumbaya.

On occasion, I appreciate direct criticisim (even outside of CAF). I think we have to realize in here however, that unless we know another poster fairly well, our well intentioned comments can offend the sensitive soul.

Proceed with caution. But, with the Lord’s help, we can all work it out and get along.

 

[mkingdomlvr]

Similar experience as OP. People can be WAY too harsh on this forum. We’re Catholics, not Puritans. There’s nothing wrong with enjoying good food, good drink, and good smoke as long as it is done in the proper way.

Of course we should never lead someone to think that a sin is not a sin with mealy-mouthedness but at the same time many of the posts here just seem to reek of spiritual pride - and don’t think for a second that it’s not a problem I deal with myself.

Good point.

I think that we need to remember that Jesus didn’t tell us to love only the people that agree with us, He told us to love our enemies. I understand and admire the passion that many here have, but I don’t believe that passion should lead to us be uncharitable towards others who disagree.

 

[NoWhereMan]

Thanks be to God that you came home. Many here, including myself, can be so fervent that we forget the pastoral approach and end up instead with a bunch of pride. I would pray that no one would leave the Church that Christ founded because of an internet forum but you showed us that it can happen. You have allowed me the opportunity to sneak behind the scenes and see real consequences. Thank you for the wake up call. God bless…teachccd

I am another one who almost left the church because of this forum.

 

[pyro_alchemist]

I have learned to chill by staying away from the “moral theology” section except to check out the replies to my original post here. *Vanity, vanity, all is vanity. *

Seriously, I don’t need others to tell me when I have sinned. I know when I sin and I get myself to confession as soon as I can. Thanks to staying away from this section and spending more time in the the “Catholic Living” section, the frequency of that occurrence has diminished considerably for me lately. I would recommend just staying away from this section. Let the holier than thous just slug around in the muck of despair by themselves and move on.

 

[Michael1985]

The gift of gentleness (Gal 5:23) is so often over looked these days. It is used 8 times in teh new tetsament and it is almost always used when talking about correcting a believer.

Am I to come to you with a stick, or with love in a spirit of gentleness?1 Cor 4:21

Always be ready to make your defense to anyone who demands from you an accounting for the hope that is in you; yet do it with gentleness and reverence. 1 Peter 3:15-16

I truely believe that whatever we say will mean nothing unless we say it with love and gentleness.

 

[NoWhereMan]

There are the know it alls that come to this forum, & if You don`t agree with them, then You suffer their wrath. They are just sure that they know it all , & all self righteous

 

[jmf83]

Thank you for this post. I couldn’t agree more.

I came back to the church four years ago. Since I started reading this forum, I am not so sure if the Catholic Church is the right place for me to be. I can find arrogant mean spirited folks out on the street. That is not what I am looking for in a church.

 

[John92]

Thank you for this post. I couldn’t agree more.

I came back to the church four years ago. Since I started reading this forum, I am not so sure if the Catholic Church is the right place for me to be. I can find arrogant mean spirited folks out on the street. That is not what I am looking for in a church.

Just understand that there are mean-spirited people in all religions. It’s not a good reason to leave the Church.

I think more people should talk to their Priests before asking the busy-bodies of the Moral Theology board.

 

[NoWhereMan]

Just understand that there are mean-spirited people in all religions. It’s not a good reason to leave the Church.

I think more people should talk to their Priests before asking the busy-bodies of the Moral Theology board.

Good Advice!

 

[Corki]

I agree that some people can be a little harsh on this forum. But if I may offer an observation… Many people post questions in this section that start with words to the effect of “What does the Catholic Church teach about XYZ?” and then they get all defensive when they find out that the documents state that XYZ is a sin. Duh! You are just not going to find authentic Church documents that tell you it’s ok to do XYZ so one has to wonder about the agenda behind the original question.

There are many of us that need to learn to “package” the message more charitably – no doubt and no argument. And sometimes in an effort to avoid being to hot-headed, some people come off as cold and unfeeling. Michael got it right, I think. We need to all pray for the gift of gentleness.

 

[mikebenson]

This board is a bastion for preaching the bad news. Personally, I don’t believe there is anything Christ-like about this board. There are mostly Pharisees on here who are miserable and want to make others miserable. Jesus didn’t do this–and He reprimanded the people who did. Personally, I would rather read the Bible for my spiritual health than listen to a bunch of downers do exactly what Christ said not to do. To promote the idea that Christ is going to shun you just for being a sinner is ludicrous. The people that Christ does have a problem with are those who spread around this judgmental garbage.

Bottom line–if you are trying to learn about Jesus and his love, this probably isn’t the place for you. If you want to feel like pond-scum just because you had the misfortune of being born a human being, you’ve found a home here.

 

[nilofc]

IMHO things are getting out of hand in this forum, especially in the “Moral Theology” section. I see very little Christian love being demonstrated. Remember, Christ dined with sinners and tax collectors. I doubt if he would have been invited if he demonstrated the “social grace” of many of the posters here. Even if you have the correct message, presenting it in a hateful and viscous way will do nothing to convince those in error. I was driven away from the Catholic church I love several years ago by this forum. If you search hard enough you will find a similar, non active screen name. By the grace of God I came back to the Church. I believe it may be my calling to keep others from falling because of ignorance and bigotry.

I’m sorry that you have to go through all of it because of these. I apologize in behalf of my brothers and sisters. Me guilty too.

 

[nilofc]

This board is a bastion for preaching the bad news. Personally, I don’t believe there is anything Christ-like about this board. There are mostly Pharisees on here who are miserable and want to make others miserable. Jesus didn’t do this–and He reprimanded the people who did. Personally, I would rather read the Bible for my spiritual health than listen to a bunch of downers do exactly what Christ said not to do. To promote the idea that Christ is going to shun you just for being a sinner is ludicrous. The people that Christ does have a problem with are those who spread around this judgmental garbage.

Bottom line–if you are trying to learn about Jesus and his love, this probably isn’t the place for you. If you want to feel like pond-scum just because you had the misfortune of being born a human being, you’ve found a home here.

I disagree with you.

You response is anti-catholic and flame-baiting.

 

[mikebenson]

I disagree with you.

You response is anti-catholic and flame-baiting.

So, you condone the judgmental behavior of others on this board? You’re alright with people on here condemning others to hell? That’s very Christian of you, nilofc.