Men and Strip Clubs

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Epistemes

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I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.
 
You’ve discovered that the Emperor is indeed naked. 😉

Those guys at the office are just as sad and unfulfilled inside as the girls at the strip club. They cover it up with bluster and macho, each believing that the other ones are ACTUALLY made happy inside by it all.

That’s my conclusion having come from a similar experience as you. I have my own temptation, but strip clubs aren’t one of them. To me, that’s just plain sad when women are reduced to that. And sad ain’t sexy.
 
Epistemes said:
I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.
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Because women are fearfully and wonderfully made 👍

The form of an attractive, physically fit woman (or man I guess) can reveal the beauty of God’s creation much more than any plant or geological formation.

The temptation to possess this beauty and use it for ones own pleasure (concupiscence) is stronger for some than others. Have you ever heard the term “porn” used for things desired that weren’t sexual or salacious in nature? I used to sometimes look at sports car “porn” (pictures of expensive cars that I liked but couldn’t / wouldn’t have) or gun “porn” (pictures of firearms that I liked but couldn’t / wouldn’t have). 😊

I like the alternate usage of the term not because it diminishes the depravity of pornography but because it highlights the uselessness of material desires.

Now I guess I could have sold my house, redirected my resources and gone out and gotten some of those things that I liked (or found attractive). But I valued those things which I have with true intrinsic worth much, much more (nice home, the loving relationship of a wife and children, etc.). I think that we should consider that the same relationship exists between sexual desires and faith; which do you want to control your actions? You cant serve two masters…

We all struggle with temptations sometimes, for many the temptations are sexual in nature. It helps to keep your mind clear as to what is truly valuable (and what is fleeting).

As for you, I think that you should thank God that you don’t have this temptation. If your anything like most people, I’m sure you have enough other shortcomings.

Seriously though, I’m curious, how do you struggle with temptations concerning sex and not understand how men (who are not necessarily devoted Catholics) could enjoy looking at attractive women? 🤷
 
Epistemes said:
And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”
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😦 How depressing! You seem to be much more mature than these married men. I hope you have some better friends to hang out with outside the office. It would be helpful to have the support of others who share your morals.
 
You may want to talk to them privately about not going. I’m not telling you to make office wars or any such, but sometimes people budge if someone confronts the nonsense of what they are doing.
 
jp2weloveu said:
Seriously though, I’m curious, how do you struggle with temptations concerning sex and not understand how men (who are not necessarily devoted Catholics) could enjoy looking at attractive women? 🤷
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It’s called selective empathy 😃

My own struggles are rooted in loneliness and the desire for female companionship plus the fact that I still think about sex in a very adolescent manner. Put those two together and you end up with a very perverted sexuality.

My own reasons for initially going to strip clubs is closely related to the above reasons. The fact that I almost dated a stripper speaks volumes about the struggles I personally contend with. Plus, I don’t look at pornography, so there is very little comparison.

Regardless, I cannot impose my struggles on why these married men go to strip clubs as frequent as they do. Plus, I try my best not to indulge in my struggles, which I don’t know if the same can be said for my co-workers.
 
jp2weloveu said:
Seriously though, I’m curious, how do you struggle with temptations concerning sex and not understand how men (who are not necessarily devoted Catholics) could enjoy looking at attractive women? 🤷
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It’s one thing to find a woman sexually attractive and desirable. It is quite another to see a woman reduced to a physical plaything for the base amusement of paying customers. There is really nothing beautiful about the way women are portrayed at those places, just sad.
 
manualman said:
It’s one thing to find a woman sexually attractive and desirable. It is quite another to see a woman reduced to a physical plaything for the base amusement of paying customers. There is really nothing beautiful about the way women are portrayed at those places, just sad.
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I agree. I don’t think that strip clubs are a positive influence on anyone’s life. I do think strip clubs are injurious to all parties; and I don’t think I suggested anything different in my previous post. Rather, I spoke to the question at hand “why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs”.

I also do believe that men who frequent these places don’t view them in the same way as do you, or I. The reason for this is the same reason that we have the garbage on TV that we do (oh it’s just a TV show of people being murdered - no harm in that). Unfortunately, the problem is that society as a whole is consumed in perpetuating ongoing personal pleasure and has little interest in the intrinsic value of things.

I worked in nightclubs for years and the truth is that many women who are dancers actually like the control they have over men (through their looks and charisma) and the considerable money they make. Having lots of guys falling all over you and throwing money at you is not seen by many of the young women in the profession as being treated badly.

In some sense, men can be victims of this too. Loneliness, a misplaced need to “rescue” one of these women coupled with sexual desire, I believe, has caused some men to become victims themselves. Don’t be naive to the fact that some women use their looks to get what they want from men (obviously that’s the name of the game at strip clubs). Whether the specific men in question are victims of their own desires, temptations or the actions of others I don’t know; the truth is probably a combination of these forces…
 
Epistemes,

I feel you man. I’m 21 yrs old and all my friends like to go out to either the strip club, casinos, or just drink. And i do not go with them to the strip club at all, and i know how you feel like your missing out on something but your not dude. I occasionally go to the casinos with them but i know my limit and my friends do too. When it comes to drinking, i just drink socially and always the designated driver. Even though it may seem that my friends are out having a better time than me, it doesnt bother me to the point that i want to be just like them. I’m just putting my 2 cents in here to let you know that you aint the only one. But just remember that these temptations bring you closer to God.
 
jp2weloveu said:
The form of an attractive, physically fit woman (or man I guess) can reveal the beauty of God’s creation much more than any plant or geological formation.
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Even as a geologist, I have to admit that a nice rock formation is not as pretty as a woman. However with age, wisdom(?) and spirituality I have come to believe that rocks can’t be hurt while they are appreciated for an inner beauty.

Plants and rocks are not victimized by our attentions. It is the victimization that makes attending strip clubs a sin.

Find the natural expression that does not hurt another and appreciate it for the wonder of creation.
 
Epistemes said:
I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.
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I did once in HIgh School in Montreal (thirty years ago.) Never again. I love my wife and daughters, mother and sisters too much to assist in the degradation of other women. I do not look at porn for the same reason (not to mention the affects on my soul). I cannot expect my sons to act in that manner If I do not. Walk the walk and talk the talk. I truly want to live a good life an pass that onto my sons so that they can be truly respectful to women,
especially their future wives and women in general.

Those feelings are feelings of guilt because you know it is wrong. So don’t go and stand up for virtue.
 
I don’t believe that a woman in her right mind would say, “I want to dance around naked and have men throw money at me.” I believe that a woman becomes a stripper b/c she doesn’t love herself enough to protect her dignity and self-worth.
 
Caesar517 said:
I’m not sure what to say. I can’t even think of an emoticon to put here.
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That’s what gets me wondering, ya know? How would some of the women in the office react or regard these guys if they learned that they spend three out of four weekends a month gawking at topless girls? Or would it even register?

And I definitely wonder about the wives. If they do know, and they allow it, then why? If they don’t know, then…why are you married?
 
It’s always sad to see someone cheating on their spouse, but doing it in such a public way seems so much worse. It sends a message of “I don’t even care enough to hide it from everyone”.
 
Epistemes said:
I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.
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In this world, You gotta prove your a man, you got to make filthy remarks about women & You have to like football, & turn somebodies car over if your team wins
 
Methodi said:
In this world, You gotta prove your a man, you got to make filthy remarks about women & You have to like football, & turn somebodies car over if your team wins
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Jeez, you can say that again!!!

I got “yelled” at today by one of these “outstanding married men” because I didn’t know that UNC is playing against Duke tomorrow night!
 
Many years ago, when I was a young man back in the 70’s, strip clubs were somewhere on the scale between “low brow” and “low life” in the field of entertainment.

What I think is peculiar is the fact that it is considered not only acceptable, but even elite entertainment in the current era.

Where instead of dope heads, drunks, pimps and other social misfits spending a bit of time and money in relative shame near the bottom of society, you actually have otherwise respectable people spending a lot of money for this.
 
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