Men and Strip Clubs

[eichenb2]

I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.

As a normal red-blooded American man, I always wandered what the attraction to strip clubs was too. I will leave alone the discussion of the mentality or emotions of those who go to or perform in Strip Clubs as this is too subjective. I would say that based on solid moral, spiritual principles, that are generally shared by Judaism, Christianity and Islam, it is objectively immoral.

1. It is degrading to the woman, because it objectifies her as just a tool to sexually arouse some drunk men.
2. It desensatizes men, so that they need something more to be aroused. Sex between a man and his wife is good and wholesome. Man will naturally be aroused. When we engage in looking with lust on women that are not our wives, we become desensitezed and, consequently, arousal is something that must be sought with more and more outlandish things. Why do you think many guys need a little blue pill.
3. It is disresceptful to the institution of marriage.
4. Because Pornography, strip clubs included, harms father and mothers, it also harms families and, consequently, kids.
   For me, I see no reason in getting all aroused for a woman that I won’t be intimate with. It seems kind of senseless. We pray for anyone involved in this business or, even attending. Also, we should seek to legally shut them down.

 

[Charles_22]

Thanks Charles.

I asked him when I found out. He told me that they all wanted to go so HE took them. We are business owners and I assume that he treated them for a night out.

He didn’t repent. Told me that I was making a mountain out of a mole hill. I know that nothing happened. I have no reason to suspect that, but he just doesn’t understand the hurt regardless. He has yet to say I’m sorry, he doesn’t think anything is wrong. Goodness, yes, I would feel better if he said I’m sorry, but he hasn’t and I can’t make him.

It’s my problem and I’ll have to deal with it. (Don’t want to hijack this thread)

God bless. Dana

I can’t see how you’re highjacking the thread, given that it is a very direct and personal account of what it can do. Seems his position of taking pride in not doing it for so long has gone out the window. You would hope he would at least be interested in making it another 12 years or more.

 

[LynnGM]

I don’t like the idea of it being “stronger” to become a stripper than go to a battered women’s shelter. It doesn’t sound good to women who chose the shelter instead of the strip club.

There are plenty of beautiful women with excellent dancing skills who choose not to be strippers. And those are the ones I commend.

 

[Sair]

I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

Speaking as someone who has also been there and done that (although from the opposite side of the gender spectrum - I am female) I would have to say that I agree with the assessment that strip clubs are essentially superficial and potentially, if not always actually, exploitative.

I have also spoken with some of the girls who work in this environment, and they have a variety of motivations. One I spoke with at some length actually had a small child to support, and was working her way up to the point where she could earn more money. There is a definite sense of rivalry between the girls who work in strip clubs, and obviously this rivalry is quite superficially based - the ‘sexiest’ girls earn maximum tip dollars. I feel sympathy for girls who are led to work in this environment through a feeling of necessity - when an honest appraisal of their options, as far as their education and experience is concerned, leads them to the conclusion that stripping is their most lucrative career choice (short of prostitution). However, there are also girls who make much more of a free choice to work in strip clubs - they gain some enjoyment from the work (some think of it as little different from just dancing before an audience) and they earn money either during university study or as a supplement to their income from other work.

I certainly wouldn’t judge girls for choosing this kind of work, nor necessarily the men who frequent strip clubs, but what I would say is that the potential for exploitation works both ways. For every party of randy bucks’ nighters that go to strip clubs, there are a few profoundly lonely men who desire the illusion of affection that they can buy with money. If judgement is to be levelled, it should be at the kind of society we have built, where the need to make money often trumps the need to live according to your personal ethics, and where just about anything can be bought and sold.

 

[MarieCB]

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

The strippers that I have known have been miserable. I’m sure there are some who don’t get into substance abuse and/or prostitution, but I don’t think they’re the norm. I’ve known some who got into it thinking they could handle the pressure to turn tricks or do drugs, but they couldn’t.

And what ARE the men thinking when they go there? Especially the married men?

Part of the deterioration of my marriage was when I found my husband’s stash of polaroids of him posing with strippers throughout our marriage. I wonder now just how much money he paid those girls instead of spending at home?

 

[Charles_22]

Yup, there’s also the slippery slope too. Dancing provacatively with just the navel showing and cleavage doesn’t seem so bad. Later, well what’s the difference, I’m doing the same thing, but I’m just topless as well? Descend a little more and before they know it they are a prostitute; entirely justified just like every other step. I would bet at least half the prostitutes, just as a guess, didn’t start their seedy occupation with being that. They drifted into it slippery slope method. I would have to wonder which sort of prostitute is easier to be changed, the one who leaped into it, or the one who slid into it over time.

Oh, hello Sair, are you doing alright?

 

[Serap]

Human beings can be great survivors and therefore can desensitize themselves in unhealthy environments.

Exotic dancers often fool themselves into believing that what they do is “art”. They don’t like to be called strippers. They refer to themselves as “dancers”.

We should all remember too that Jesus often befriended prostitutes and treated them with kindness and respect. He didn’t throw dollar bills at them nor did he call them ‘you know whats’.

They are just displaced souls.

 

[Epistemes]

We should all remember too that Jesus often befriended prostitutes and treated them with kindness and respect. He didn’t throw dollar bills at them nor did he call them ‘you know whats’.

Would a good act of penance be to say the rosary inside one of these joints then??

I’m just joking…

 

[Serap]

Would a good act of penance be to say the rosary inside one of these joints then??

I’m just joking…

LOL!!!

 

[GraceDK]

I’m a guy. I’m 27. I’m single.

I mention this because I just want to point out that I struggle with temptations concerning sex and sexuality – but I just don’t get strip clubs. I don’t understand why men go to strip clubs.

I’ve been to strip clubs. I used to frequent them, but I stopped when I decided to live in a more Christian manner. Plus, I came to the realization that those poor girls who danced and performed pseudo-sexual acts were really quite unhappy, sad, and alienated. To see a girl dancing, with guys swarming around her, throwing money at her is a pitiful sight, I must admit, but then to sit down and talk to her, to hear about her lonely childhood, and how her boyfriend doesn’t really love her, and how she has a hard time feeding her kids, that’s when you get to know how isolated these girls are.

Am I wrong?

And yet there’s a cult developing here at the office. It’s a cult almost solely devoted to the strip club. The highlight of these married men’s life seems to be going to the local strip club. There hasn’t been a single week in months where I haven’t heard someone saying, “Yeah, boy, they got some good lookin’ meat up at the club now! Let me tell you!”

It seems like such an empty existence to me now, though I must admit that I, at times, feel like I’m missing out on something big given all the ruckus and hooplah which they cause on their return. It’s like I just missed the Cubs winning the World Series, or something.

Even though I’ve been there, and given that I’ve done that, I now can no longer understand why a group of grown men would frequent strip clubs so often.

Never go, watch or do something that you prefer your future bride didn’t go, watch or do.
I’ll tell you an advice from a Christian girl at the same age as you: Real men dont go to strip clubs and as long as you are even tempted to go to places like that or dont completely know what you think of it, chances are that any Catholic woman with self-respect will not be interested in you because you lack maturity…

Now what do women find attractive in men: virtue, independence, purity. One of the things I find most sad in certain young men today is that they are so afraid of peer pressure, even when they are grown up. Yet these same men are going to run a household one day, call themselves spirituatl head of the family, have respect and raise young boys to become good men… ?

Some strip bars are called “gentlemen’s club”. Let me tell you something… thats the biggest most ridiculous joke. Men who frequent places like these are keeping the sex industry alive and thus commit spiritual murder and fornication in their hearts. They dehumanize themselves and the people they watch, and keep slave trade and abuse of women and children going. Yes, one sin simply never comes alone.

Men who frequent places like that are loosers who can’t handle a real relationship with a real woman of flesh and blood. They don’t bother to love and give themselves wholly to one woman, but strew themselves in pieces all over the place and thus loose themselves.

A great charismatic lay-preacher named Johannes Hartl always says: YOU ARE WHAT YOU SEE.

Love brings satisfaction. Use brings confusion and death.
Sorry… but there really isnt anything nice to say about these places nor any of the lame excuses that men make up to go there.

Grace

 

[Serap]

Never go, watch or do something that you prefer your future bride didn’t go, watch or do.
I’ll tell you an advice from a Christian girl at the same age as you: Real men dont go to strip clubs and as long as you are even tempted to go to places like that or dont completely know what you think of it, chances are that any Catholic woman with self-respect will not be interested in you because you lack maturity…

Now what do women find attractive in men: virtue, independence, purity. One of the things I find most sad in certain young men today is that they are so afraid of peer pressure, even when they are grown up. Yet these same men are going to run a household one day, call themselves spirituatl head of the family, have respect and raise young boys to become good men… ?

Some strip bars are called “gentlemen’s club”. Let me tell you something… thats the biggest most ridiculous joke. Men who frequent places like these are keeping the sex industry alive and thus commit spiritual murder and fornication in their hearts. They dehumanize themselves and the people they watch, and keep slave trade and abuse of women and children going. Yes, one sin simply never comes alone.

Men who frequent places like that are loosers who can’t handle a real relationship with a real woman of flesh and blood. They don’t bother to love and give themselves wholly to one woman, but strew themselves in pieces all over the place and thus loose themselves.

A great charismatic lay-preacher named Johannes Hartl always says: YOU ARE WHAT YOU SEE.

Love brings satisfaction. Use brings confusion and death.
Sorry… but there really isnt anything nice to say about these places nor any of the lame excuses that men make up to go there.

Grace

I wish I had your wisdom at your age.

 

[Epistemes]

Some strip bars are called “gentlemen’s club”. Let me tell you something… thats the biggest most ridiculous joke. Men who frequent places like these are keeping the sex industry alive and thus commit spiritual murder and fornication in their hearts. They dehumanize themselves and the people they watch, and keep slave trade and abuse of women and children going. Yes, one sin simply never comes alone.

A new “gentleman’s club” just recently opened where I live. It’s called “Risque.” There’s a rather large build billboard for this club – black with a hot pink, elegant font – which hangs more or less directly above my parish, or, at least, you can’t miss it on the drive to Mass. I haven’t asked my pastor’s opinion on the matter, but I’m sure he’s noticed the same thing, and probably doesn’t like it. There was once a citywide ordeal a couple of years back when large billboards for other “gentleman’s clubs” were posted near the gateway to the city. People complained that such advertisements in such locations made the city look cheap – and they were right.

“Gentleman’s club.” What an oxymoron – or is it paradox? I don’t know, but what I do know is that true gentleman would prefer taking a woman out to dinner after buying her candies and roses rather than staring at her naked breasts and ordering her drinks until she pukes and falls unconscious.

 

[LynnGM]

I still say I raise an eyebrow to women who strip for tuition or the artistic merit. Enjoying men drool at your good looks and naked body is not right. (It also isn’t right for a woman to enjoy getting “checked out” by men as she walks by with here tight lowrider jeans and cleavage bearing top.) If tuition is hard, there are always loans, grants, and work study programs. There’s also the junior college, commonly called community college in the USA.

I could use a better job. But I would need to go back to school for additional coursework. We don’;t have the money and a loan is not doable at this time. I could earn all the tuition I need by stripping. But no, I am investigating grants and scholarships and making the most out of my current job. I live as frugally as possible.

 

[YipYupYep]

No, never been to one myself and don’t plan on it. Strip Clubs can be both, emotionally and physically addictive.

You many be totally normal on day one, but as time goes on, the persons brain chemistry changes. After a time, you crave the hormones there brain releases.

Then there is the VIP room and all of that.

Sexual addiction should always be treated by a health care professional.

 

[Leopard]

Never go, watch or do something that you prefer your future bride didn’t go, watch or do…

Or your daughter. Some men can’t make the connection if their wives are used as a reference point, but will still be ready at a moment’s notice to unscrew the head of any creep who would disrespect his little girl. Remember, every dancer in one of those clubs is somebody’s daughter.

 

[Methodi]

Or your daughter. Some men can’t make the connection if their wives are used as a reference point, but will still be ready at a moment’s notice to unscrew the head of any creep who would disrespect his little girl. Remember, every dancer in one of those clubs is somebody’s daughter.

That is exactly the way I felt the few times I went to them places, all I could think of was that could be my daughter , sister, niece or something, made me feel ashamed

 

[deb1]

Men and strip clubs?
Wait a minute–what about women and Chippendales?
Ever see how women act at those male stripper events?

When I was younger, I used to go to a male strip show once a week with my female friends. I felt out of place because although I am very heterosexual, I was very bored. Not being a Christian, I thought that being thought a prude was the worst thing possible so I pretended to enjoy the show.

The women that I attended the show with screamed, hollered and hooted like mad.