Men - how do you feel about your wife seeing a male physician?

  • Thread starter Thread starter lizaanne
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

lizaanne

Guest
I had my first visit with a new Ob/Gyn yesterday. He is a very nice doctor and comes very highly recommended. It was the first time I’ve been examined by a male doctor in well over 10 years. I felt surprisingly comfortable with him, which is what I’ve been told to expect by other patients who see him.

But it got me wondering. How do men feel about their wives being examined by male doctors? Is it a total non-issue? Or are some bothered by it?

I had some bad experiences in the past with male doctors so I switched to a female doctor for the past 10 years or so, but distance and insurance have caused me to switch, and I’m happy with my choice so far.

Men? Comments?

~Liza
 
I had a femaly ob/gyn many years ago and when I came to her pregnant with my first child she asked ‘so, do you want to keep this?’ She was absolutely awful. I quickly changed to a highly recommended male dr.

Now I see a male ob/gyn and a female general practioner, I like them both very well.

Sorry, I’m not a male to answer your question. But I think I can speak for my husband and me when I say both of us don’t care about the sex of the dr. we see, we just want someone who is qualified.
 
I ain’t married, but I wouldn’t want my wife with a male gyn. That’s not to say it’s a total no, but I would prefer a female.

The reasons are obvious. I don’t care how professional it is, humans are sexual beings, enough said.

Unless the person has gone through severe psychotherapy to destruct interest in sex.
 
**Ha ha ha ha! My husband and I have been round in circles with this.

Now we understand the Obstetrician part. They are helping women bring new life into the world and you can’t beat that. What a miracle and blessing!

But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas.

I really think that a general practicioner can and should do these check ups. I don’t think any male should need to specialize in something like gynecology. I mean, no matter how strong he is, its has to be a source of impure thoughts at the very least. I couldn’t stand a man that did that all day long, every single day looking/touching me.

I usually just have my regular practitioner check everything out. It is no where near his SOLE practice. And it doesn’t give me, or my husband the hebbie gebbies because of it. 👍

EDIT…so both my husband and I agree that it is simply, case closed, not necessary nor prudent to see one. 👍

**
 
I’m not a male, but I am a registered nurse. A couple of generations ago, this wouldn’t even be an issue because nearly all physicians were male…and nurses were female. Having worked for over 30 years in healthcare, I can assure you that the anatomy of a patient is no more “stimulating” to most of us than an engine would be to a car mechanic. Besides, most male physicians will have a female nurse or medical assistant in the room when they do a pelvic exam, for their own protection against allegations of sexual misconduct as well as for the patient’s comfort.

I couldn’t care less if the physician is male, female, foreign, American, or whatever as long as they are competent, conscientious, and respectful of any Catholic teachings which may affect my healthcare choices.
 
CarrieH said:
I’m not a male, but I am a registered nurse. A couple of generations ago, this wouldn’t even be an issue because nearly all physicians were male…and nurses were female. Having worked for over 30 years in healthcare, I can assure you that the anatomy of a patient is no more “stimulating” to most of us than an engine would be to a car mechanic. Besides, most male physicians will have a female nurse or medical assistant in the room when they do a pelvic exam, for their own protection against allegations of sexual misconduct as well as for the patient’s comfort.

I couldn’t care less if the physician is male, female, foreign, American, or whatever as long as they are competent, conscientious, and respectful of any Catholic teachings which may affect my healthcare choices.
Click to expand...
**This is true, but back in the day, doctors weren’t so specialized either. I know it is a part of the anatomy, and I have no problems with it being one of many things a doctor cares for/examines. But it being the ONLY thing a doctor does all day every day? EEK! **
 
I’m not married, but it’s not like I can’t empathise with the problem. In a normal situation, the examination is voluntary and the doctor is a highly trained medical specialist. The last thing he’s thinking about is sex and in fact, the nature of the examination is such that I think it would take a pervert to see it as a source of sexual pleasure. For a variety of reasons, it might be preferable to go to a female one, but that’s not a reason to skip a good specialist or go to a mediocre one.

I would definitely have a problem with obligatory exams being performed only by a male doctor with no option to choose. I remember reading about one case in which schoolgirls were threatened with punishment if they wouldn’t expose their breasts to a male doctor (which is probably more potentially arousing to the doctor than an ob-gyn examination, I think). That kind of thing happening means someone at the top should change his line of work

Similarly, I have a big problem with the fact that cross-gender searches by the police or airport security guards are allowed, including strip search and sometimes even cavity search. That’s something people should be dishonourably discharged for. I remember reading the verdict of a court somewhere in America ruling that prison guards’ equal employment opportunities are more important than (female) prisoners’ privacy rights. I believe those judges have severely confused their vocation too.
But to have a doctor, male, WANT to specialize in looking at women’s you know whats eight hours a day, five days a week, fifty two weeks a year. And not just LOOKING at them, touching them, going inside them, etc. What would inspire a man to do such a thing? I CERTAINLY could never be married to such a man, after he’s seen/touched that many women in the most intimate of areas.
Click to expand...
I’ve known one. 😉 Seriously, there are various talents in doctors as there are countless fields in medicine. One doctor is good at this, another at that. I bet he wants to help women and/or that branch of medical science goes into his head better than other things.
 
Both my parents were in medicine, and have covered so many areas; from delivering babies to cleaning old people after they’ve been to the bathroom. Some things are just part of the job. Like every aspect of medicine someone needs to be a specialist, otherwise it would be left to those who are not quite sure what they’re doing, (and to be honest when it comes to your most intimate parts you definately want someone who KNOWS what they are doing).

On the other hand; Women are just as capable of being specialists in gyn/obs as men, so why not for prudence sake make more of an effort to encourage this?

My wife would always prefer a female doctor whether it be GP or Gyn. She feels unconfortable with some male doctors. I support her decision. Even although I might not be the most comfortable with a male doctor, ultimately I want her to get the BEST treatment she can get.

So what I’m getting at is; we would always PREFER a female doctor, we would always REQUEST a female doctor, but when we are in need we would not refuse the appropriate experience because it was in Male form.

Saying all that, I would prefer a good male Catholic doctor to some dodgy female new-ager or pagan 👍 at least I know I could trust him.
 
My wife chooses to see Midwives for her Gyn care and our childrens’ births. Her general practitioner is a man, and I have no problem with her going to see him (although she doesn’t like seeing him). I now see a good friend of mine who is a very good doctor, but my wife doesn’t want to see him…
 
I too cannot vote because I’m a female. DH doesn’t care what sort of doctor I see provided they are qualified and I am comfortable. I cannot bear seeing a female OB/GYN. It totally creeps me out. Give me a male doctor any day.
 
I am a woman and see a male MD you can have the gyn.ick ick

But my male MD said the other day I may be more comfortable with a woman GN. I don’t know what his problem is now.

I had a woman GI and she was nice but is now gone so I may think about a woman GN.

At my age they are all after the money.
My dh doesn’t care and he for himself definately does not want to see a woman.
I think I need a new MD actually.
D.
 
My hubby doesn’t care, as long as they take good care of me and the baby!
As for me, I’ve had both, and don’t prefer one over the other. I’ve had horrible female drs do exams, and very gentle male drs do them. 🤷 Competence is what counts for me too.

And on another note, I will chime in, that being in the healthcare field, there is NOTHING stimulating about seeing people naked. Believe me, I have put in hundreds of urinary catheters in my day, and it is just another procedure, just like putting an IV into an arm, or an NG tube down someone’s throat. I simply do NOT see why people get so freaked out about it. We, in the white coats, do not. It is our job to do what we do to make you better. End of story.
 
Chovy said:
I too cannot vote because I’m a female. DH doesn’t care what sort of doctor I see provided they are qualified and I am comfortable. I cannot bear seeing a female OB/GYN. It totally creeps me out. Give me a male doctor any day.
Click to expand...
This could have been my exact response, including the creeped out part.
 
I voted for my hubby because I have an account and he doesn’t. He doesn’t care if I see a male ob/gyn. I mean you seen one you seen 'em all.😉 When I was pregnant I started out with a woman doctor. She went on a brief vacation and I saw a male doctor. He was sooo much better than the doctor I had that I stuck with him. His wife was pregnant at the time. He was much more gentle, he was also empathetic and listened to me.

I think it is completely ridiculous to question why a man would want to be gynocologist. Why would a man want to be urologist or a gastroenterologist? I mean really why would someone want to scope peoples anuses or urethras all day long?:rolleyes:

If a woman is more comfortable with a woman that’s totally fine. But I don’t think we should question the character of men who chose to be ob/gyn’s.
 
Glad to see all the responses so far! 👍

I used to be totally creeped out by the thought of seeing a female Gyn. Then I had some bad experiences with male Gyns so I just sucked it up and when to a female physician and loved it. When I had normal breast pain during a certain time of my cycle she totally understood what I was talking about and could relate. When I saw a female fertility specialist and I explained what some pelvic pain felt like, she could relate. That is why I mostly prefered going to a female doctor after I finally made that leap - there is no way in a zillion years that a man is going to have any idea what pelvic pain feels like, I don’t care how much he has studied medicine. Yes - not all female doctors have experienced everything, but at least they have the parts in common!!! 😛

Anyway - this new doctor was so totally different than any other male Gyn I’ve been to. He was compassionate, not rushed in any way, he gave me his pager number and told me to contact him at any time if I ever had any sort of question or needed anything. And I’m not having any issues right now! I’m was just in for a routine exam! He said that he never wants a patient to feel that they don’t have access to him or that they can’t get an appointment or response. I was very impressed.

And he was totally on board with the whole Catholic thing, and was very sensitive when asking questions about my past and furture plans regarding family planning and fertility.

Oh - by the way - he was wearing a wedding ring, so he must have one very understanding wife if he has such a strong commitment to his profession and his patients.

~Liza
 
I’m a woman so I can’t vote, but here’s an opinion (and DH doesn’t seem to care either way).

I’ve definitely preferred the two male gyns I’ve seen (including one when I was a teen and had a benign breast tumor) over the women. The men seemed to have more of a respect for female issues (rather than a “suck it up, we all have that” attitude from some of the women) and they didn’t push the pill as hard as did the women.

Admittedly my sample size is small, but given the choice, based on my personal data I would choose a male doctor.
 
I have a male OB/BYN and I only see him when I’m pregnant, but it doesn’t matter to me that he’s male. It’s his job and I’m not grossed out about it at all. You could argue the point of having a lesbian female OB/GYN. How is that any different or less gross?
 
I go to a group practice with both male and female. I love this group of drs. When I was pregnant and said that I didn’t want genetic testing done the male dr. said good b/c it was a waste of time and money since they are more inaccurate than accurate. I appreciated the honesty. All the doctors in the group are kind, gentle and actually talk to me when I have my clothes on. My first gyn was a woman who only talked to me when I was on the exam table. All the male gyns I’ve been to have been respectful and have talked to me when my clothes were on. I agree with others, go with the qualified doctor not with the gender.
 
gmarie21 said:
My first gyn was a woman who only talked to me when I was on the exam table. All the male gyns I’ve been to have been respectful and have talked to me when my clothes were on. I agree with others, go with the qualified doctor not with the gender.
Click to expand...
You know something? It never occured to me, but all those years I was seeing that female doctor she never came in until I was in the gown. I guess I just got used to it. This new doctor talked to me while I was dressed, and I did appreciate that very much, but I guess I didn’t realize why until now. Hmmm…

~Liza
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top