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Thorns
Guest
Attraction is fine and innocent, lust is a distortion of that. Attraction sets the stage for lust, so its important to be on your toes and control yourself before heading into that other territory.
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T
Thorns
Guest
In my initial post to you I was actually agreeing with you believe it or not. It sounds like you’re doing your part (I never implied otherwise).
What I was saying was that “plain women” as you described are disrespected just as much as “gorgeous women”, but in different ways. Thats all I mentioned about that.
S
severus68
Guest
Just to be clear, finding someone to be an attractive person is not the same as having an attraction for that person. If you are single, having an attraction for a person is not wrong if it remains as that or if you follow up that attraction with respect, not pushing unless that person is also attracted to you. That is how people fall in love and get married.
L
Loving_disciple
Guest
Maybe in some cases but not everyone is guilty of this
K
Kamaduck
Guest
I’m sorry. I should probably stay out of these threads; I lapse into sarcasm fairly easily. The whole issue annoys me. People should wear clothes that cover themselves; if they don’t, other people should respect them anyway. It’s not that difficult.
On the other hand, some of my responses were uncalled for. I’ll try to do better in the future.
L
Loving_disciple
Guest
Or we should just all live in boxes and never leave them
E
edwest2
Guest
It took the better part of 40 years to gradually convince men it was OK. Aside from some men and women, even today, protesting outside of strip clubs, or in the recent past, getting an “adult” theater shut down, the motivations have been primarily religious. And let’s face it, what about actresses who have gradually allowed themselves to go from being really good and modest to immodest to partly nude and to fully nude in movies, or playing prostitutes or “call girls”? No judgement, right? No excuses either. It’s supposed to be art. Baloney. It keeps getting worse and worse, like some female singers being dressed like strippers or moving their bodies to emphasize a deeply immoral way of behaving. And who’s going to be paying attention to that? Men.
And since these women willingly allow themselves to portray women as meat - as sex objects - it’s somehow OK? Why did NYPD Blue, for example, decide viewers needed to see a bunch of naked female butts? To advance the story? Give me a break! As a professional storyteller, the bottom line was to get men to look at what they shouldn’t and let’s have female police officers who have non-marital relations be viewed as OK or normative or “who cares?”
It took years to go from what I was taught and what women were taught. Men opened doors for women. Their good name was worth defending. Being known as a ‘sleep-around’ girl was looked down upon. You didn’t date girls known for such behavior. You showed respect for her, which could lead to trust and friendship. Which could lead to real love and commitment. Naw - who needs that? Just think about how hot she is. And women too. At first, desperate for love and companionship, some went along with the idea. It’s sad to see an actress portray a woman who “sleeps” with more than a few men and it’s all presented as OK, normal, fine, what’s the big deal?
In the 1970s, those behind “Women’s Liberation” called men male chauvenist pigs because men objectified women… Yeah, and then what? Female chauvenist pigs in Sex and the City? That’s the remedy?
Wake up folks. A steady diet of movies and TV shows where men and women treat each other as casual sex objects - and it’s all OK - means you might start thinking, “Hey. Why not?”
This did not happen overnight. And why aren’t scores of women out there protesting at movie theaters and handing out leaflets that tell people that “this movie, which we have watched, portrays women as sex objects and the dignity of the human person depends on human decency”?
If proper respect for both sexes is desired, and it should be, then things need to change from the way they are now. No more magazines in supermarkets that have immodest photos of young women designed to incite lust. Mutual respect, and earned trust, possibly followed by truly loving the whole person, are worthy and good things. Modesty in speech and dress would help.
Peace,
Ed
D
DMC12
Guest
to me this is like this:
there are people that will objectify you no matter what you wear, so don’t worry about those.
but there are people that wants to not look at you lustfully, yet they might be weak, so dont put unnesesary temptations or suffering to those.
just put yourself in their places, what would you like other people to wear if you were fighting temptation.
there are people that will objectify you no matter what you wear, so don’t worry about those.
but there are people that wants to not look at you lustfully, yet they might be weak, so dont put unnesesary temptations or suffering to those.
just put yourself in their places, what would you like other people to wear if you were fighting temptation.
W
Walking_Home
Guest
Again --as per Pope Francis – how one falls to “justifying” temptation/sin – to make one feel better about oneself. This “justifying” the temptation by blaming the other-- locks us where we cannot escape and blocks us/ leaves no room for the light to understand the word of God.
The more we blame the other – the less room we leave for God grace to reach us.
The more we blame the other – the less room we leave for God grace to reach us.
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Sarcelle
Guest
Hmm, being too attractive for one’s good.But what does a man like myself do- one who is nearly blindingly attractive?
I couldn’t stand the thought of driving my sisters to sin!!
Well that is the cross you must bear.
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severus68
Guest
Would like these people to work hard at self control and at seeing all people as persons. We all have weakness, we have to work on them.
T
Tzimisce
Guest
I think your question is too narrow.
Women are also prone to treating men like objects. Not necessarily sex objects however.
How many women do you know who take advantage of men? For coffee. For helping them move. For money. For whatever.
I don’t think this is a question of men treating women like objects. I think it’s a question of certain men and certain women treating others with little respect.
T
Tzimisce
Guest
Or consider how some women treat their kids.
Abortion is out of control in United States.
Abortion is out of control in United States.
E
edwest2
Guest
I have been friends with and even dated one very attractive woman. You don’t show off. You don’t give in to the urge to flatter yourself or provide opportunities where you exploit yourself. The women I knew, and one I still know, were/are beauty pageant beautiful. One even decided to skip wearing makeup and the other wore very little makeup.Hmm, being too attractive for one’s good.
Well that is the cross you must bear.
Peace,
Ed
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edwest2
Guest
I already live in such a box. I call it “my job.” I make clandestine trips to the supermarket at odd hours.Or we should just all live in boxes and never leave them
Peace,
Ed
E
edwest2
Guest
And let’s not forget Pope Benedict’s reference to indifference. When we become indifferent to sinful behaviors, we begin to think that this is just the way things are. Faith is a verb that means doing. We must fight temptation not just accept that the way the world lives is the way we should live.
Peace,
Ed
E
edwest2
Guest
Naw, the obvious answer is for them to wear two sizes too big burlap sacks that covered the figure from the neck to the ankles, and with flat bottom shoes only. Of course, burlap is a coarse fabric so a thin undergarment should be worn to prevent skin irritation.
Ed
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Brendan_64
Guest
That is a very good point. How many women will ask a man to move stuff or carry stuff to her car, not because she can’t do it herself, but because she would rather not do it. I’ve been asked to carry and move stuff that really weighs very little. And, as I work in a predominantly female environment, you dare not say no or you’re mud.
W
Walking_Home
Guest
E
edwest2
Guest
In the past, young people were taught how to treat the opposite sex. There were rules instilled in us. In one case, a young lady I dated went to a “finishing school” when she was 10. She was taught manners, how to conduct polite conversations, poise, diction, and how to walk and sit like a lady. In public, how a young lady “carried” herself meant that she was poised (as if she had a book on her head) and modest in dress and speech. She was polite to all and exhibited due caution if she was in certain places known to be dangerous, usually avoiding the area or taking two or three friends with her.
While dating her, I discovered the way both of us were raised was a perfect match. I knew what to say, what to do and what to avoid doing. By the time she was in her twenties, all of this was natural. It was second nature to her.
We need to create habits of reaction and avoidance regarding the opposite sex. In the past, it was simple. Most women did not dress in immoral clothing that revealed way too much skin. A young woman I knew entered beauty contests and told me she would never wear a bikini because “It looks like underwear, and I don’t want anyone to see me in my underwear.”
It needs to be taught at any age to the point where it becomes automatic. We need to work on it in a way similar to building up a muscle. We must make a conscious choice to avoid leering or taking notice of those who are dressed immodestly. Being faithful means working on improving ourselves daily, with asking God for strength of course.
God bless,
Ed
While dating her, I discovered the way both of us were raised was a perfect match. I knew what to say, what to do and what to avoid doing. By the time she was in her twenties, all of this was natural. It was second nature to her.
We need to create habits of reaction and avoidance regarding the opposite sex. In the past, it was simple. Most women did not dress in immoral clothing that revealed way too much skin. A young woman I knew entered beauty contests and told me she would never wear a bikini because “It looks like underwear, and I don’t want anyone to see me in my underwear.”
It needs to be taught at any age to the point where it becomes automatic. We need to work on it in a way similar to building up a muscle. We must make a conscious choice to avoid leering or taking notice of those who are dressed immodestly. Being faithful means working on improving ourselves daily, with asking God for strength of course.
God bless,
Ed
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