Men please answer honestly

[j1akey]

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Ok, I have a question that would definitely become heated in a secular environment but I am hoping on a Catholic website men will be more comfortable anwering.

What do men really think about the way women carry on today? I mean by wearing provocative clothes, figthing to breast feed in public and getting mad at people who are against it. Being the ones to initate dates with men, using profanity, flirting (not innocently), being offended when men open doors and all the other stuff.

Provocative Clothes = Awesome. Men dress to impress and so should women although it should be noted that that provocative in my mind doesn’t mean slutty. A woman who dresses provocatively tells me she’s not afraid of who she is and that’s sexy.

I see nothing wrong with breast feeding in public. If a kid has to eat then so be it. I never understood what is so wrong about this. They’re just breasts. Not like they’re gonne jump out and bit ya.

I like it when a woman initiates a date because it tells me they’re not afraid to go after something.

I don’t mind women using profanity but just like with men there is a time and a place, or when it’s really funny.

Flirting - Can’t know if she’s interested in me if she doesn’t flirt a little.

As far as the opening the door thing goes if someone gets upset that I’m trying to be nice to them by opening a door then they got bigger issues to deal with and I don’t need that kind of mental case in my life.

I have often been insituations were woman would do things in front of their husbands that I though was not nice and the man simply ignores it. For example, my uncles wife kept talking about her first husband, and then her second husband in front of him (he is her third husband). Personally, I found that was a put down to my uncle to have it in his face that she still though about them (ok, I know my uncle chose to be her third husband but that is beside the point). I think my uncle ignored it because he knew she wouldn’t stop and he had too much pride to admit his hurt.

I guess it depends on how his wife was talking about her ex husbands. There were after all a part of her life and her history, it’s only natural that they’d come up in converstaion, you can’t pretend they didn’t exist. Now if she was talking about them in a way that it seem like he is not as good as her ex husbands then he needs to grow a pair and get in her face about it. I’ve dated women that did this sort of thing just to see if they could get a reaction out of me and play mind games which is rediculous.

Once a man told me when his girlfriend hits him, he laughs because he knows if he hits her back society would be totally against him. Is it possible it is not the physical pain that hurst the man but the emotional put down that would crush him?

Hitting is unacceptable from either party although I will make the exception if I get hit first, and she means it, not just play hitting. I’m not going to knock any teeth out or anything but if you’re woman enough to start hitting me or punching with the intent to harm me then you’re woman enough to get hit also. Besides I’ve met some woman that could kick my ***. Not all are frail and need to be protected.

Deep down, regardless of what society says, do men not want wifes, mothers and sisters that are respectable? Also, please list behaviours that feminist think woman should do but deep down men think are wrong.

To me marriage is more of a religious thing so I can take it or leave it in the classical term of the word. Do I want someone that I can share my life with? Absolutely, whether that’s marriage or just being with someone for the rest of my life.

Edit - Misread the previous statement: Personally I would want everyone I share my life with to be respectable. However you can’t always choose your family members. I can choose my wife but I can’t choose my mother or sister.

As for the second part of the question I think that depends on the feminist but nothing immediately comes to mind.

The reason I ask is because as a woman I need to know it is OK to be old fashion. Since I can’t get the support from my female peers to be modest, can I please have some support from men.

Bottom line is be whatever you’re comfortable with. If that means being modest then go for it. If that means being a complete go get 'em adrenaline junky then that’s cool too.

People place too much value on being what others want them or expect them to be. The happiest people I know gave up trying to conform to some sort of pre-determined mold and just lived their lives however they see fit. Embrace who you are undernieth the show you put on for everyone else.

 

[freerf]

And this is exactly why I posted a comment inquiring if the men that responded on here insisted their wives see a female doctor for routine GYN and OB care…if a holy priest can stumble, a male physician most certainly can!!

I agree, they can. . . and do. However, I have too much respect for my wife to insist anything. She happens to prefer female GYN and OB care. Of course, if you’re a doctor and not trying to remain pure it’s not stumbling.

Also, not all men will stumble. But many will and can. Also, i think doctors in their professional see a lot of this stuff and see it in a professional, scientific capacity so it’s different.

 

[CCWMarine]

I’ve been reading this forum for years but just recently felt the need to join in the conversations. I am a “cradle Catholic” who strayed away from the Church for many years returning only three years ago. My wife was a non-baptized Christian of sorts before joining the Church at Easter Vigil Mass two years ago. The night she became a Catholic we also had our then six children baptized and have had a subsequent seventh child who was baptized into the church at age three weeks. This history is relevant to the OP’s original questions in that my family’s coming home to Rome was precipitated by our awakening faith and a return to earlier mores and values.
I can attest that my marriage has been much more fulfilling, happier and our conjugal love deeper than ever since we’ve put the teachings of the Church into practice. We’ve been married for 17 years and our first years were marred by strife and confused roles. We’ve slowly migrated to a more traditional relationship. Our roles within the marriage tend to be more traditional but flexible enough for us to leverage our personal strengths. We usually split the functions of running a household and raising children along a more traditional line. She is better with the kids than I and I defer to her judgment when it comes to child rearing, schooling and nurturing. She defers to my judgment on financial matters, I am the sole breadwinner, and I fix the broken things around our home. She is a SAHM by her choice and my agreement. My wife does not dress provocatively, does not flirt with anyone but me and would never think of doing anything to violate our marriage vows. I in turn treat her like a lady, I am the protector of the family and do my best to support her as a mother and wife. We are a team.
As far as our children, I treat each kid as the individual they are but I do make a distinction between boys and girls. I have two boys and five girls and can tell you the genders are different from the very beginning. Where society gets into trouble is to try to treat boys and girls the same. Both are equal in the eyes of the Lord, but equal does not mean the same.
I do not agree with western society’s belief that women must be in the workforce to be valuable. Being a mother and raising good, healthy and reverent children is the highest calling a woman can aspire to. Think of it as a rare opportunity to work in communion with God on a daily basis- tell me there is a more theologically fulfilling role for a woman. To be honest, I really struggle with feminism and equality. I support the individual’s right to choose their path in life but see so many unhappy women who are stuck in the workforce because they can’t afford to quit because of student loans, lavish lifestyles, broken marriages or some other reason. The SAHM’s I know seem much happier, better adjusted and appreciated than their workforce counterparts. In fact, I would prefer my daughters all become SAHM’s rather than stay in the workforce after they begin their families.
The OP spoke of “old fashioned” values, modesty and respectability. I encourage her to keep looking for that marriage partner, a partner who understands the value of a solid Catholic foundation and is not afraid to practice his faith in the face of society’s pressures.