Men prefer debt free virgins

[AdamP88]

God is up there laughing at our preferences.

This is a good point.
There seems to be a lot of Catholic blogs, particularly ones for women, dealing with the right preferences for a marriage partner.
They all promote their way as “the” way.
One blogger that we occasionally see on these forums has a list of conditions as long as my arm.
But really I think these preferences should be pretty basic. Otherwise you run the risk of ending up alone because you’re too fussy. I mean you should be prepared to compromise in some areas.

 

[Sarcelle]

Silly rabbit, national treasures belong in the Smithsonian or in Fort Knox, not in the White House.

 

[Cruciferi]

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[Xantippe]

Here’s a big problem with the Lori Alexander list–while some tattoos immediately visible, a lot of tattoos aren’t. Finances and virginity are also not immediately visible to new acquaintances.

It’s ridiculous to say “Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men?” when those are attractive features that it will take a lot of time to discover.

In the beginning of a relationship, more obvious qualities are going to be more important.

 

[AdamP88]

It’s ridiculous to say “Do you know how much more attractive debt-free virgins (without tattoos) are to young men?” when those are attractive features that it will take a lot of time to discover.

To be honest, I never would have thought of these things when looking for a marriage partner.

I mean my list was, Catholic, Attractive, Pro-Life, and wants a good few babies and happy to stay at home while I work.

Anything else I was prepared to work with really: Debt, misplaced virginity, tattoos etc.

 

[heidi_storage]

Quite, but the process of discerning marriage will (or should) reveal debt, tattoos, and sexual history.

 

[Redrose13]

In my country, education is highly valued. Public Universities and State Colleges here offer education for free but you have to maintain a desired grade. Other educational institutions offer student assistance program and scholarships. Other students work for a part time job to pay for their school while studying. I think a student debt is not common here. There are so many ways to go to college.

A woman with a good educational attainment is an advantage but not a standard. She can help her husband cover for their finances when she has a good and stable job. Just a thought.

 

[Xantippe]

Quite, but the process of discerning marriage will (or should) reveal debt, tattoos, and sexual history.

And at that point, you have to decide–can I deal with this particular thing?

Some more thoughts, culled from some other discussions elsewhere (and some new):

–There is such a thing as medical debt.
–There’s also such a thing as sexual assault and molestation.
–I have to say that the debt-free thing strongly favors the young (we’re all born debt-free) and/or women from well-off, supportive families who are willing to provide her a place to live as long as she wants and are available to bail her out if she has car trouble or some other emergency. Obviously, it’s a good thing to have a well-off, supportive family, but looking for that is pretty close to golddigging by the young man…
–On the other hand, coming from a poorer and/or unsupportive family will lead young women (and men) into debt without there being a great deal of culpability on their part.
–Well-off, supportive, functional families tend to send their daughters to college. They also tend to have standards for their future sons-in-law.
–Attitudes toward tattoos are socioeconomically and geographically specific. Other areas are different, but in our area women with tattoos seem to be a) poor with chest and neck tattoos, often about kids or deceased relatives or b) campus hipster Christian types, often with theological tattoos (yeah, I’m not kidding), generally on the arm.
–Debt-free, tattoo-free virgins of average looks aren’t that attractive to young men. At least, you’re not going to find them lined up around the block.
–Lori Alexander said that debt-free, tattoo-free virgins have gotten very uncommon even in church. Maybe that’s at least partly because those aren’t actually things that attract men?

 

[Xantippe]

It would be weird (and kind of stupid) if a guy who was inked from head to tail went into a huge snit because his lady friend had a small tattoo that was invisible 90% of the time.

It would also be weird if a guy with debt held a woman’s debt against her.

And it’s weird (but unfortunately not uncommon) for guys who have been around the block to expect virginity from their future wife.

In all three cases–lots of luck.

See also Matthew 18:23-35 (that’s the parable of the unforgiving servant).

 

[AdamP88]

It would be weird (and kind of stupid) if a guy who was inked from head to tail went into a huge snit because his lady friend had a small tattoo that was invisible 90% of the time.

Yeah. Also, I can see how some tattoos could be sexy.

Like, my wife has a belly button piercing. I didn’t really know this until we were married. I’m not a massive fan of piercings but it is kinda nice on her.

You might not get this information until later as it might not come up in conversation. Whaddaya gonna do? get an anullment over the fact that she has a tattoo/piercing.

 

[Zzyzx_Road]

I have no tattoos, can’t imagine ever getting one and I would prefer my future wife didn’t have any either, but I’ll settle for a few, smaller, less obtrusive and last but not least, they cannot be anti-Catholic. That last is not negotiable for me. Tattoos tend to be pretty permanent, sure they can be removed but that’s an expensive pain in the rear process. So by definition, all tattoos are statements reflecting something in the person’s mindset. An anti-Catholic tattoo is reflective of an anti-Catholic bias and I won’t have that.

 

[Xantippe]

I have no tattoos, can’t imagine ever getting one and I would prefer my future wife didn’t have any either, but I’ll settle for a few, smaller, less obtrusive and last but not least, they cannot be anti-Catholic. That last is not negotiable for me. Tattoos tend to be pretty permanent, sure they can be removed but that’s an expensive pain in the rear process. So by definition, all tattoos are statements reflecting something in the person’s mindset. An anti-Catholic tattoo is reflective of an anti-Catholic bias and I won’t have that.

I’m not crazy about tattoos, but we have an interesting local subculture of theological tattoos. My husband and I have seen the following around town:

–woman with a version of Rublev’s Old Testament Trinity on her arm

Trinity (Andrei Rublev) - Wikipedia

en.wikipedia.org

–Aramaic tattoo (husband told me–I wouldn’t know–I’m not sure what the text was)
–male Hispanic cafeteria worker with a Madonna on one forearm and Jesus on the other
–husband’s Catholic male grad student with a vast variety of different tattoos. I don’t want to stare too much, but I’ve seen at least one Madonna and a trinity symbol.

 

[JanSobieskiIII]

Best tattoo I’ve ever seen

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[Cruciferi]

They’ll regret that one

 

[Cruciferi]

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I do like the LEGO Figure

 

[Xantippe]

There are two humor pieces on tattoos that I have found very helpful and plan to share with my kids when they are bigger (WARNING: SOME BAD LANGUAGE):

http://www.cracked.com/funny-298-tattoos/

“Tattoos theoretically could be thoughtful additions to your appearance. Unfortunately there are thousands of tattoo parlors (many open 24 hours) and people just don’t have that many thoughts. So most are stupid.”

“Tattoos are an excellent way to turn a single drunken decision into a lifetime of disfigurement and regret, which normally requires a car. Tattoos are associated with criminal gangs, the armed forces, and whiny white teenagers desperate for attention. Attempts to get all three to attend a common “Tattoo Conference” have unfortunately failed.”

What Does your Tattoo Location Say About You? | ScienceBlogs

tags: tattoos, tattoo location, What does your tattoo say about you, humor, funny

scienceblogs.com

That last one is very funny, but (again!) has some bad language. It gives a body map, explain the meaning of tattoos in each zone of the body.

 

[Rozellelily]

Uni’s and colleges being full of anti-Christian values/political correctness etc is actually even more reason why Christian women should be in college to give the youth/culture a different point of view.

Regarding debt-I’m all in support of stay at home mother/housewife but this can only be realistically achieved by creating a society that supports this.
Here in Sydney, Australia to afford the cost of living it usually requires two people working.
If only one works,there will still be a lot of debt.
While it won’t be uni debt it will be debt from difficulty paying the mortgage or the rent.

So if a man doesn’t want a woman with college/uni debt,will he accept one that will put him into house/mortgage debt?

One thing I did agree with the article writer-Being of European background I find it perfectly fine for unmarried adult children to live with their parents.
This is a cultural difference.
American culture perceive this as weird or as immature but European culture finds this as normal and often European adult children are very mature and contribute to the household financially,live adult seperate lives etc…

Regarding virgins…well I don’t think there’s much of this in Australia adults anymore as Christianity is dwindling and I don’t know which guys she is referring to (American men I guess?) as I have never heard an Australian man want/expect a virgin or get excited if a woman was one.

 

[Rozellelily]

Wheres his nose though

 

[Rozellelily]

Debt-free, tattoo-free virgins of average looks aren’t that attractive to young men. At least, you’re not going to find them lined up around the block.

Yep,she forget to add beautiful onto debt free,etc

 

[Tis_Bearself]

I think either gender would greatly prefer to marry a partner who is debt free. Nobody wants to get stuck with another person’s huge bills. That’s just common sense.

As for men preferring virgins who don’t have tattoos, I could show you all kinds of non-virginal women with tattoos who still managed to have lots of boyfriends and get married (often to a guy who also has tattoos, as huge percentages of college students these days have them). “Men prefer” doesn’t mean a thing if the man doing the preferring is the kind of man you wouldn’t look at twice anyway, which is usually the case. The vast majority of men I ever met were somewhere between “unattractive” and “not marriage material” and I was only concerned with the preferences of the two or three that appealed to me enough to consider a lifetime relationship with them.