MERGED: Concentrating/Distractions at Mass

  • Thread starter Thread starter divinefaith
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
demetrios423 said:
Is rude to speak to someone about being distracting at mass? There are two women who insist on gossiping the entire mass. Today it made me really mad when they were gossiping while communion was being prepared.

On top of that, one of the women is always late and has to announce her presence with loudness as she arrives.

There is also a couple who is late weekly. the husband likes to get up and down through out mass and always has to ask people to stand for him to get by. Literally 2-3 times a mass.

I very much want these people to be at mass, but would like them to not be so rude or distracting.

Is it out of line for me to say something to them myself?
Click to expand...
If your parish is big enough you might consider just sitting somewhere else. If that is not an option, I would probably say something. Please understand that I am pretty direct and not exactly politically correct so taking what I would do as a good way to handle things may not be the best choice you have ever made… 😃

As a lifelong sufferer of ADD, I feel for you on this one. I sit all the way at the front of the parish during Mass just so I can avoid distractions. It can be very difficult.
 
Your self description matches me perfectly. That is why I decided to ask first. 🙂

I noticed today that there were a lot more people at mass probably because of Lent, but I wish they owned watches. I can’t believe the amount of people that come in late.

Monsignor asked for us to take a seat after mass since he wanted to speak to us about a parish matter, people just get up and leave as he’s speaking. I find that incredibly disrespectful.
 
Had to chuckle at your last comment. On Ash Wednesday it was a man behind us who boomed out some comments right after communion. Since my husband is hard of hearing - (favorite word until he got his hearing aid was “HUH”) I kind of understood what was going on. He thought he was whispering. NOT!
 
Fr. Groeschel suggests “Could you please keep it down? I’m trying to pray.” But that really only works at the before-and-after gossipfests.

If these people always sit in the same area, move. Once a month they have a children’s Mass and they sit in the first three rows and there is one bratty girl I would dearly love to scold. Or worse. We’ve learned not to just move back a couple rows, but to move back 5 or 6 so she is out of sight.

But not too far back. Once we sat about 3/4 of the way back for some reason. My word there was a lot of coming and going! I mentioned it to the pastor one day, told him it reminded me of being in an airport or a bus station, and he just sort of rolled his eyes and said, “You ought to see all the movement from where I sit!”
 
I agree that these behaviours are distracting and disrespectful. However, there may be things that we don’t know. Perhaps, for instance, when there’s chatter it may be someone explaining to a non-practicing Catholic what to expect at Mass. (I’ve actually done that and was shushed by someone :() The person getting up often may have health issues. Same with the people arriving late. All I’m saying is that it isn’t necessarily frivolous gossip and deliberate disrespect. Maybe, if you sat at the very front, you would be able to concentrate better. I hope I’ve been helpful. 🙂
 
I have moved, but they end sitting near me most times. I guess I’m a magnet for them.
 
grasscutter said:
I agree that these behaviours are distracting and disrespectful. However, there may be things that we don’t know. Perhaps, for instance, when there’s chatter it may be someone explaining to a non-practicing Catholic what to expect at Mass. (I’ve actually done that and was shushed by someone :() The person getting up often may have health issues. Same with the people arriving late. All I’m saying is that it isn’t necessarily frivolous gossip and deliberate disrespect. Maybe, if you sat at the very front, you would be able to concentrate better. I hope I’ve been helpful. 🙂
Click to expand...
Sadly it is gossip. I can hear them clearly and it is almost always about people at mass. “look what shes wearing” “he works at…” etc.
 
demetrios423 said:
Sadly it is gossip. I can hear them clearly and it is almost always about people at mass. “look what shes wearing” “he works at…” etc.
Click to expand...
As people age, both their hearing worsens and their inhibitions lower.

Could you, (keeping the above in mind), *lovingly *approach them and remark on something specific, like: Sisters, maybe you didn’t know your voices carry so well, but frankly I don’t care what so and so is wearing, especially when I’m trying to pray.

If you don’t feel comfortable or loving enough in doing this; get help from your priest or the liturgical director… and MOST IMPORTANT, pray for them to be convicted.

I like to think if I were the one being distracting, how would I like someone to tell me.

Try to put yourself in their shoes LOVINGLY; but please do help them to know if possible.

Blessings!
 
PC has never been my strong suit either. Why not say something to them after Mass about being disruptive. It can be done in a gentle way. If that doesn’t work them next time be more assertive.:stretcher:
 
Yes, tell them to be quiet. They shouldn’t be talking in church in the first place, in the presence of the Blessed sacrament. The first spiritual work of mercy is instructing the ignorant and the third is fraternal correction.
 
I suggest try offering it up…I use to be easily distracted, now by doing that and doubling my effort to concentrate hardly nothing distracts me anymore.
 
Carolus_Martell said:
I suggest try offering it up…I use to be easily distracted, now by doing that and doubling my effort to concentrate hardly nothing distracts me anymore.
Click to expand...
:tiphat: Thank you! I’m going to do that in the future. I know that I cannot change others, however, I can change my reaction to events. I’m glad you offered this useful tip that would help me to do that. :):yup:
 
Just look at them and go, “Shhhh.” Then smile and go back to praying.
 
Well that chap who gets up and down might just need to sit near the bathroom - sounds medical, but the school girls who come to the House of God to chit about about tulips and petunias - you should think about giving them a nice Easter card and flowers and write in it how you feel about the holiness of the mass and how you’ve tried to avoid them. Perhaps they will make it a point not to sit near you in the future. If that doesn’t work duct tape is on sale in April at all Ace Hardware stores. 🙂

Blessings and Shalom
 
yosephdaviyd said:
Well that chap who gets up and down might just need to sit near the bathroom - sounds medical, but the school girls who come to the House of God to chit about about tulips and petunias - you should think about giving them a nice Easter card and flowers and write in it how you feel about the holiness of the mass and how you’ve tried to avoid them. Perhaps they will make it a point not to sit near you in the future. If that doesn’t work duct tape is on sale in April at all Ace Hardware stores. 🙂

Blessings and Shalom
Click to expand...
very funny 👍

I think the guy is bored more than anything. He gets up and paces the vestibule.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top