MERGED: Concentrating/Distractions at Mass

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Honestly I don’t know. It is just a constant distraction. I have noticed other people stare at him as well.

I feel bad for talking about him this way, so I’m going to stop.

Thank you all for the advice.
 
=demetrios423;9007994]Is rude to speak to someone about being distracting at mass? There are two women who insist on gossiping the entire mass. Today it made me really mad when they were gossiping while communion was being prepared.
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On top of that, one of the women is always late and has to announce her presence with loudness as she arrives.
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There is also a couple who is late weekly. the husband likes to get up and down through out mass and always has to ask people to stand for him to get by. Literally 2-3 times a mass.
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I very much want these people to be at mass, but would like them to not be so rude or distracting.
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Is it out of line for me to say something to them myself?
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Identify them and you’re concerns to you’re Pastor, explaining that you do not know how in CHARITY to handle the matter; could He PLEASE do so.

God Bless,
Pat
 
PJM said:
Identify them and you’re concerns to you’re Pastor, explaining that you do not know how in CHARITY to handle the matter; could He PLEASE do so.

God Bless,
Pat
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This is how exactly I will handle it. Thank you.
 
I have overcome being distracted at Mass, I learned the format of the missalette and I follow every word, eucharistic prayer and everything.
 
At Mass a few weeks ago, these two women decided to start a conversation after the Eucharist. I noticed it but thought it would eventually cease. They kept talking right through the closing hymn! I couldn’t take it anymore so I turned around and politely said that mass wasn’t over yet. They stopped talking. I don’t think I was wrong and I didn’t embarrass them in front of everyone else. But I do think if you don’t correct people, they will continue with their bad behaviour.
 
demetrios423 said:
Is rude to speak to someone about being distracting at mass? There are two women who insist on gossiping the entire mass. Today it made me really mad when they were gossiping while communion was being prepared.

On top of that, one of the women is always late and has to announce her presence with loudness as she arrives.

There is also a couple who is late weekly. the husband likes to get up and down through out mass and always has to ask people to stand for him to get by. Literally 2-3 times a mass.

I very much want these people to be at mass, but would like them to not be so rude or distracting.

Is it out of line for me to say something to them myself?
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A very tough situation.

As to the gossipers, maybe asking the priest to make an announcement would help? I see from later posts you are sure it’s gossip and/or general conversation and moving hasn’t helped. If you decide to say something directly, practice to make it less accusative. You gotta figure out how to say it right. Good luck.

As to the other situations, I’d try to offer it up: you may not know what’s really going on. Could be health issues or almost anything - including rudeness.

Once, not too long ago, I was at a noon weekday Mass and a man came in with dirty - filthy clothes. He was sweaty and smelled. He was NOT crazy or destitute. The clucking was pretty intense. As it turned out he had been working in the yard when he received word his son had been killed in an accident. He came straight to Mass. You just don’t know.
 
johnnykins said:
As to the other situations, I’d try to offer it up: you may not know what’s really going on. Could be health issues or almost anything - including rudeness.
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Agreed. Unless it is the same people over and over again who are coming in late, there could be other circumstances. Ordinarily, we are about 15 minutes early getting sat down. However, yesterday I could not go due to illness and my wife was a few minutes late because she had been up until 3:30 in the morning helping me the night before. In a large parish, if you figure that 1-2% are going to have some sort of problems crop up every week, that is 10-20 people coming in late through no fault of their own.

Having said all of that, I am guilty of judging those people as much as anyone. I’ll add it to the list of the sins I need to work on.
 
Get a book with all the prayers and “think” them along with the priest as he prays them. It is OK for you to sort of mentally pray them, too - something encouraged in the “old days,” also.
 
Sit someplace else, perhaps the front row so there is nothing to see in front of you, try not to judge, and try to see them as God does - as his flawed children who he loves. Think about how great it is that - unlike many people - they actually choose to come to mass.

You never know what might be going on with somebody. Perhaps the man who keeps going out is a doctor on call and is getting pages from the emergency room. You never know! 🙂
 
Its hard to tune out distractions at times. But if its constantly the same people and/or types of actions, its best to speak to the priest privately & ask him to bring it up in a homily about being mindful of one’s actions during Mass.
 
I find that following along in my missal keeps me from turning around constantly and getting distracted by others actions. Perhaps using a missal or missalette may help to follow along as others have suggested.
 
“Sisters, I wonder if you could refrain from gossiping during mass or, if you must, if you could do it from the back. I am trying to pray and focus on the celebration of the Mysteries. Thank you.”
 
demetrios423 said:
I noticed today that there were a lot more people at mass probably because of Lent, but I wish they owned watches. I can’t believe the amount of people that come in late.
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Back when I wasnt so patient, I would look at my wife and say “im going to throw this book at them”

I used to get really irked when people would come in late and I would always make a comment to my wife. Then one day she told me “well at least they decided to walk in and hear Gods word instead of driving home because they were late”

Needless to say I never made another comment about people coming in late.
 
…You could try one clean shot with the kneeler. You know, the ol’ shin bang. :bigyikes:

Of course I’m just joking. I only mention it because I got nailed with the kneeler the other day. LOL… I had to laugh, it was so funny.

I feel for you. Crying babies usually don’t bother me. But what bothers me is that the parents don’t take them outside. When I was a kid, even an infant, I was dead silent in Church. My whole family of seven were stone, dead quiet. LOL. I don’t think I even moved my fingers during Mass. LOL.

What you discribe is pretty irreverent. Any talking during the eucharist, naah, can’t have it. I’d think about emailing the Pastor. Maybe it’s time for a reminder. Our Church occasionally will have an announcement. One of our Pastors doesn’t put up with anything, and I like that. His reverent attitude is adopted by the congregation. Getting up and walking around during Mass? Hmm, I can only think of an incontenence (bladder) problem. Not much else to do in Church but sit and listen…LOL

Maybe come in after they sit down. Going to another Mass is too much to ask on your part. Chances are, if they’re bothering you, they’re probably bothering others. But, you, being close to them, is getting it worse.

See, isn’t that the old job of Ushers? To make sure order is kept?

Just to let you know it happens elsewhere; last Sunday, as the Procession was coming down the aisle, there were these elserly folks coming out in the aisle to switch pews. The Procession had to avoid them. The Pastor (the one who doesn’t take guff) turned around and just stared at them as he passed by them. I hope they got it.

Just what I notice? Only two peoples disrupt the mass: Babies and Seniors. I’m very happy to have both at the Mass. I love them both, truly. But, you know, the world revolves around you when you’re 2 or 92. LOL 🙂

Good Luck, don’t sweat it too much. Make sure something’s not bothering you in your life that’s making you more susceptible to these frustrations.

btw: whenever I hear babies crying, or people coughing, I get a notion of how Church must have been in the 1100’s or 1300’s, babies, animals, the plague, diseases, village idiots, creaky rain-leaking roofs. I would have loved to have seen that!
 
Offer your distractions at mass to GOD & ask him to give you peace in return.👍

Jn:14:27:
27 Peace I leave with you: my peace I give unto you: not as the world giveth, do I give unto you. Let not your heart be troubled: nor let it be afraid.
 
Deo_Gratias42 said:
This only works if there are no screaming/crying children present. I have yet to experience one.
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How I understand you !
Funny, MY children did not bother a
t all. It is OTHER people’s children that make nerves scream.
 
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