MERGED: How Long should a typical confession take?

[pensmama87]

So I go to confession yesterday and was about 7 people back in the line…1 hour later it was my turn, the confessional on the other side of the church I saw 3 people go in during that 1 hour.

I have often noticed that a few people take a lot longer in the confessional, and I always just figured this was do to maybe face to face confession and treating it more like spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, than simply confess and be absolved.

But yesterday I began to wonder if I am doing it wrong or something. It just seemed like everyone spent at least 10 minutes in there and I spent 5 and felt that was a bit longer than usual for me.

Anyway, I thought that I would pose the question here.

Do you have long regular confessions? and if so, what is it structured like?

Thanks!

Mine tend to be very quick, but when I did not go as regularly it took me a lot longer - partly because I had more to confess, but also because I was more nervous about being there, didn’t remember the format, etc. My experience has also been that when I am very nervous and uncomfortable, that priests take more time with me to help set me at ease.

Some priests offer more advice than others, too. I went once during Advent a few years ago, tons of people in line. Each person took at least 10 minutes. I was getting frustrated. When I went in thinking “well, at least I’ll be quick,” the priest talked so much I too took about 10 minutes. This wasn’t at my regular parish.

 

[PJM]

So I go to confession yesterday and was about 7 people back in the line…1 hour later it was my turn, the confessional on the other side of the church I saw 3 people go in during that 1 hour.

I have often noticed that a few people take a lot longer in the confessional, and I always just figured this was do to maybe face to face confession and treating it more like spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, than simply confess and be absolved.

But yesterday I began to wonder if I am doing it wrong or something. It just seemed like everyone spent at least 10 minutes in there and I spent 5 and felt that was a bit longer than usual for me.

Anyway, I thought that I would pose the question here.

Do you have long regular confessions? and if so, what is it structured like?

Thanks!

DEPENDS COMPLETELY ON:

The Sinner & their sins]

The Confessor

The time constraints as the LAST & by FAR lest significance of the factors.

God Bless you,

Patrick

 

[Faith1960]

I’m usually in there about 4 or 5 minutes, but once he and I were talking more than usual and it was maybe 7 or 8 minutes. I got out of there, still needing to talk, because there was a line and I didn’t want to hog the confessional.

I we trying to take notes, too.

 

[tawny]

Depends on the Penitent, their sins & the Confessor. It really doesn’t bother me to wait on a Confession line. I’m just grateful for the opportunity to receive the Sacrament & its Graces. I try to remember the great St. Jean Marie Vianney, the Cure of Ars; who spent countless hours in the Confessional hearing & forgiving sins.

 

[eamonnroma]

It would be lovely if priests would spend more time hearing confessions, and less time doing what they do a lot of the time.

 

[peter26]

I go to confession weekly as part of my rule of life. I’m in and out in probably 2 or 3 minutes on average, sometimes maybe 5 if I need a little advice on something. I’ve been told I’m a quick penitent.

 

[zab]

I go to confession weekly as part of my rule of life. I’m in and out in probably 2 or 3 minutes on average, sometimes maybe 5 if I need a little advice on something. I’ve been told I’m a quick penitent.

Sounds like you come prepared. The late Fr. Thomas Dubay in his book, “Deep Conversion Deep prayer” touches on the topic of Confession. He says the penitent should be brief and he explains why. He also gives four guides to further this idea. Here is a summary of these four guides:

1. confess guilt, not mere feelings or mistakes
2. avoid mentioning the failings and faults of others, for example, the other person’s part in an argument, what they did or said that triggered the penitent’s outburst of anger. The confessor knows that there are two sides to every conflict- let the adversary confess his own sins.
3. confess only the essentials of the sin, not a history of what took place…
4. Do not repeat two or three times what has already been said once. If something is not clear, the confessor can ask about it.

Fr. Dubay also gives some examples on how to be brief. Good book if you want to check it out. DEEP CONVERSION, DEEP PRAYER by THOMAS DUBAY S.M.

 

[PDXSeeker_1975]

7 minutes and 13 seconds

 

[zab]

7 minutes and 13 seconds

If everyone took a little over 7 minutes, then only 8 people’s confessions would be heard in one hour’s time.
“Perhaps the best way to begin our case for brevity on the part of the penitent (who actually is each one of us) is to recall the examples of the two sainted models for ideal confessors, the Cure of Ars and Padre Pio. Both of these marvelous priests were able to come to the aid of untold thousands of sinners because they required their penitents to be brief.” Thomas Dubay S.M.

 

[Reuben_J]

One must look at the practical aspect of it, for example the logistic. Is the Confession before mass or on Saturday before the novena? How long the queue would normally be?

In such a situation, Confession should very efficient and fast. Number the sins committed and Father tries to be brief with the recommendation and then goes to the absolution. I would say two to four minutes would be reasonable. That way you can do probably fifteen penitents in half an hour?

Have a blessed Confession.

 

[exnihilo]

I’d guess my typical confession is 2-3 minutes. I mostly go weekly so I don’t have an accumulation of sins. I do a thorough examination of conscience before hand. But I also try to record sins immediately after committing them. I use my phone to record my sins and use it during confession. I try not to offer any unnecessary details but rather just stick to number and species of sin. The rest depends on the priest and how much he says. Some have said nothing and just offered absolution. But more typically the priest has offered some brief advice. As infrequently as confession is available in my area longer confessions would be problematic and prevent sinners from receiving absolution.

 

[zab]

So I go to confession yesterday and was about 7 people back in the line…1 hour later it was my turn, the confessional on the other side of the church I saw 3 people go in during that 1 hour.

I have often noticed that a few people take a lot longer in the confessional, and I always just figured this was do to maybe face to face confession and treating it more like spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, than simply confess and be absolved.

But yesterday I began to wonder if I am doing it wrong or something. It just seemed like everyone spent at least 10 minutes in there and I spent 5 and felt that was a bit longer than usual for me.

Anyway, I thought that I would pose the question here.

Do you have long regular confessions? and if so, what is it structured like?

Thanks!

I have already posted on what Fr. Thomas Dubay wrote about brevity. Here are some examples of brevity that he gave:
“The reader should notice that these illustrations do not express feelings but rather acts of the will, things the sinner could have chosen to avoid, but did not: “I showed impatience…I gossiped…I showed grouchiness…I was harsh, not gentle…I ate too much…I was lazy…I wasted time with the television…I watched immodest scenes deliberately…We used contraceptives…I masturbated…” For mortal sins the number of times must be mentioned, as Jesus himself implied. In sins against chastity the penitent should add whether he is single or married. These few illustrations make it clear that a completely correct confession can ordinarily be done in a minute or two-or less. We are presuming, of course, that the sinner has spent enough time in examining his conscience, so that when he enters the confessional he well knows what to confess and how to be brief about it.” Exerpt on p.115-116 DEEP CONVERSION, DEEP PRAYER by THOMAS DUBAY S.M.

 

[JimG]

At the regular confession times in my parish, I think that 5 minutes would be considered a lengthy confession. That would only be 12 penitents in an hour. Way too few.

 

[Kay_Cee]

The priest as well as the penitent should be thoughtful of others and if a confession is to be a long one, I think an appointment should be made so both can take as much time as needed. I think some folks use the confession as a gab session at times. Many times it’s the same penitent that takes long. I always feel sorry for people who wait a long time and then have the priest walk out before they get a chance to Confess. Those folks are important too. God Bless, Memaw

I once arrived fifteen minutes before the priest and still didn’t get to go to Confession. When I was next, he stopped and the rest of us in line were informed that we could come back some other time. He saw only about five people in an hour and a half! One of the persons who was fortunate enough to get in told me he loves to chat.

I didn’t have anything serious to confess, but I was horrified by the priest’s attitude (“Tell them they can just come back some other time.”) First of all, he told my daughter–who had been the last one into the confessional–to relay this message. Second, what kind of effect would that have on a person who, after several years, finally got up enough courage to confess? Personally, I felt like I had the door slammed in my face.

Thank goodness this was a visiting priest! Our pastor is a terrific guy who will stay as long as needed.

 

[Gorgias]

It would be lovely if priests would spend more time hearing confessions, and less time doing what they do a lot of the time.

I heartily agree! After all, why should priests be allowed to sleep?!?!?

 

[BobRoss]

I had the same exact question a few threads down. The answers fell into two camps - people who were frustrated trying to go to confession, and the condescending “patience is a virtue” or “bless the souls who got in” camps.

I think people don’t realize that the reality is life is busy. I have a job and a family, and I try to get in and confess to receive the Host correctly. The Church wants people to come to confession, then makes it hard to do so, or listen for an hour and say “so sorry, come back next week!” to the people waiting. WWJTAWTTCTS (Who would Jesus turn away when trying to confess their sins?) lol

The priest sits and gives forgiveness for sins in the name of Jesus Christ (but only for an hour a week, then other priorities take over). Wow - think about the responsibility, then spend as much time as needed to hear confessions.

 

[babochka]

So I go to confession yesterday and was about 7 people back in the line…1 hour later it was my turn, the confessional on the other side of the church I saw 3 people go in during that 1 hour.

I have often noticed that a few people take a lot longer in the confessional, and I always just figured this was do to maybe face to face confession and treating it more like spiritual direction, conversation, counseling, than simply confess and be absolved.

But yesterday I began to wonder if I am doing it wrong or something. It just seemed like everyone spent at least 10 minutes in there and I spent 5 and felt that was a bit longer than usual for me.

Anyway, I thought that I would pose the question here.

Do you have long regular confessions? and if so, what is it structured like?

Thanks!

I don’t generally time my confessions, but I would guess they usually take around 5 minutes, maybe a bit more. 10 minutes is not uncommon, and one time it actually lasted 45 minutes. For the 45 minute confession, nobody was waiting and it did become more of a spiritual direction session. That definitely isn’t the norm, though.

My part of it, the confessing of sins, usually take just a minute or two, at the most. My priest is thorough, though. He asks questions, gives good advice, and carefully chooses a penance appropriate to the individual confession. He is always like this, so I assume people who regularly come to him for confession understand this and desire that he also give his careful attention to their confessions as well, so they don’t mind a bit of a wait. Those who want a more in-and-out experience would do well to choose a different confessor. This isn’t to say that he won’t make it quicker if there is a long line of people waiting, but he won’t rush it. We have confessions an hour before the Divine Liturgy on Sunday, and much to his frustration sometimes, people invariably show up 10 minutes before, wanting confession. Sometimes he’ll ask if it can wait until after the liturgy, and he’ll always available by request afterwards.

Different confessors have different styles, though, and some are more talkative than others. I once went to a priest that kept me in for 30 minutes. I felt like I was trapped in the confessional! We had a lot in common - I was a social worker and he was getting his Master’s in Social Work at the time. He chatted about that, about the work he did in the parish and with the local Foster Care Agency. This was a week before my wedding, and my fiance was waiting to go next. He also kept him for about 15 minutes.

St. Alphonsus Ligouri, the patron saint of confessors, once said, that it is better to hear one confession well than to hear a great number imperfectly. While I think that penitents can and should be brief, please remember that the priest is a physician of souls in the confessional and sometimes needs to take time to properly diagnose the condition and give the proper advice for treatment and preventive care.

 

[zab]

I had the same exact question a few threads down. The answers fell into two camps - people who were frustrated trying to go to confession, and the condescending “patience is a virtue” or “bless the souls who got in” camps.

I think people don’t realize that the reality is life is busy. I have a job and a family, and I try to get in and confess to receive the Host correctly. The Church wants people to come to confession, then makes it hard to do so, or listen for an hour and say “so sorry, come back next week!” to the people waiting. WWJTAWTTCTS (Who would Jesus turn away when trying to confess their sins?) lol

The priest sits and gives forgiveness for sins in the name of Jesus Christ (but only for an hour a week, then other priorities take over). Wow - think about the responsibility, then spend as much time as needed to hear confessions.

The experts in spiritual life do realize that the penitents have other responsibilities that they need to tend to and do not have the time to wait for hours in the confessional line and still may not be able to go to Confession. And priests also have other responsibilities to tend to. That is why I thought it was necessary to post what an expert said on this topic. The late Fr. Thomas Dubay was an expert on the spiritual life. He was a retreat master and spiritual director to many religious communities. Now, I know that there are some priests out there who do spend a lot of time talking with each penitent. We had a one recently during our parish mission. They can have their own opinion as to why they think this may be good or necessary. But after standing in some of those long lines that included some elderly people older than I, and knowing that some people will never get to have their confession heard and the possibility of some people not returning after getting the courage to go there in the first place, I happen to think that Fr. Dubay knew exactly what he was talking about and neither the penitent nor the priest should be inconsiderate of the long line of people waiting to confess.

 

[Mary_Ellen]

It depends on a lot of things. My best friend went to Confession before me and it took her forever (15 minutes) because she was asking for advice from a priest who loves to give advice. My Confession took half that time.

I always prefer to be first in line, especially with this priest. I love going to Confession to him as he includes a scripture reading in the celebration of the sacrament and is generous in offering counsel but all that adds time and more often than not the 50 minutes allotted to Confession before Mass is not enough and he has to turn some penitents away. I keep my part as brief as possible, coming in with a written list each week so that I don’t dwell on details that are not needed for a valid confession: number and kind if there are mortal sins and being very matter-of-fact when it comes to venial sins. I figure less is more and the Confessor can always ask for more information if he feels it is necessary.

I’m often the cantor for the Mass following my Confession and I want to make sure I have time to prepare my music and the singing area before Mass. If I had to wait in line I wouldn’t be able to do this adequately. That’s why you can find me ready and waiting for Confession about an hour before it’s scheduled to start.

Now if one of the retired priests in our community is hearing Confessions I’m usually in and out in about 4 minutes. Same list of sins from me - different Confessor.

 

[Reuben_J]

I had the same exact question a few threads down. The answers fell into two camps - people who were frustrated trying to go to confession, and the condescending “patience is a virtue” or “bless the souls who got in” camps.

I think people don’t realize that the reality is life is busy. I have a job and a family, and I try to get in and confess to receive the Host correctly. The Church wants people to come to confession, then makes it hard to do so, or listen for an hour and say “so sorry, come back next week!” to the people waiting. WWJTAWTTCTS (Who would Jesus turn away when trying to confess their sins?) lol

The priest sits and gives forgiveness for sins in the name of Jesus Christ (but only for an hour a week, then other priorities take over). Wow - think about the responsibility, then spend as much time as needed to hear confessions.

Good point there.

Guess there is a time for everything. Confession before mass especially when you have normally long queue, and the same priest may need to say mass later, common sense should prevail. Confession should be brief and long extended time for spiritual counselling would be quite selfish, unfeeling for the need of other penitents standing in the long queue.

That sort of Confession cum counselling should be done by private appointment with the priest outside of public Confession time, to save time.

Probably in smaller parishes but in big ones, efficiency should be more of a priority. Remember too, that most sins being confessed were already being regretted to, thus Confession may merely the formality to come/confess in the Sacrament.