MERGED: Non-Catholic Receiving Eucharist/How to tell them they can't receive?

[belchers1]

Thank you all for the responses and warm welcomes!

To the OP,
Perhaps, you can just make a follow-up on the facebook invitation and start out by saying…"It occurred to me after posting the invitation that I should explain a little about communion in the Catholic Church in order to avoid confusion…"
Then you can simply say something like, "In the Catholic Church, only those who are Catholic and in a state of grace may receive communion. This is the only restriction to participation so I hope that this will not deter anyone from joining us in celebrating this joyful occasion. If anyone has a question about this, feel free to ask."

Is that gentle enough??

Peace
James

James,

May I please steal your words?

I don’t know if your parish uses a Missalette but in the inside back cover there is a statement about Communion. You may be able to copy that into your Facebook invitation as it’s worded very nicely.

Welcome home!

Thank you! I will check that out.

As for Catholics, the plain and simple answer is that you* shouldn’t “*explain that they are not to receive communion” at all, because it isn’t for you to decide whether or not they are worthy of communion.

Whether a person is a baptized Catholic in an objective matter. Whether a baptized Catholic is unworthy of communion is between that Catholic and God. A priest may, depending on the situation, decline to give communion to a baptized Catholic. But you are in no position to judge whether another is in a state of mortal sin. So don’t do it.

I know this already. I don’t think I am out of place whatsoever, for wanting the standards of Christ’s Church to be abided by, rightfully so, especially when it involves our Beloved Lord in the Eucharist.

True (the bolded text), but my baptized and confirmed Catholic grandmother left the Catholic Church at least fifty years ago, and was a practicing Mormon for many of those years, up until recently. She has been interested in my own Catholic conversion, which I am excited about. I’m not sure if she remembers the ‘rules’ when it comes to receiving Communion. I am considering talking to her, and suggesting that she could go to confession, if she desires.

Sure, it’s none of my business, per se, but I feel the need to honor our Lord, and in doing so protect Him in the Eucharist, as best I can. Simply telling my guests the standards of receiving Communion (beforehand) is what I had in mind. (Hence this thread.) There are reasons why we are not to receive if not in a state of grace (or if we are not Catholic). I think it is every Catholic’s duty to do their best to help others in respecting our Lord.

 

[JRKH]

Thank you all for the responses and warm welcomes!

James,

May I please steal your words?

No you may not steal them - They are gladly given. :thumbsup:

Use them with my blessing. I’m glad to be of help.

Peace
James

 

[grasscutter]

Except that, any Mass I’ve attended that would be expected to have non-Catholics - and lapsed Catholics - attending (weddings, baptisms, funerals, first Holy Communion, Christmas, Easter, etc.) my experience has been that the Priest has always addressed this prior to the Liturgy of the Eucharist. That’s why I suggested that the OP have a conversation with the Priest ahead of time to alleviate any concerns and remove the awkwardness of personally having to educate every single invited guest.

 

[Phemie]

Except that, any Mass I’ve attended that would be expected to have non-Catholics - and lapsed Catholics - attending (weddings, baptisms, funerals, first Holy Communion, Christmas, Easter, etc.) my experience has been that the Priest has always addressed this prior to the Liturgy of the Eucharist. That’s why I suggested that the OP have a conversation with the Priest ahead of time to alleviate any concerns and remove the awkwardness of personally having to educate every single invited guest.

Experiences vary. I’ve only heard this addressed once in all my years (58) and that was last year around Christmas time when a visiting priest was serving our parish. My experience with the pastors we’ve had in the last 10 years is that none would have made such an announcement because they would have said it was unwelcoming. They routinely gave Communion to known non-Catholic (local Protestant clergy among them).

 

[Cider]

We had a guest staying with us this weekend.

Our Kids invited her to Mass - she’s not a believer.

We just said: during communion feel free to go up and receive a blessing. Just cross your arms across your chest like this.

That’s what she did.

So instead of denying we invited…

You might be interested in this thread about a letter to the Congregation for Divine Worship and the Disciple of the Sacraments on this subject.

 

[Like]

Quote:
Originally Posted by JRKH View Post
To the OP,
Perhaps, you can just make a follow-up on the facebook invitation and start out by saying…“It occurred to me after posting the invitation that I should explain a little about communion in the Catholic Church in order to avoid confusion…”
Then you can simply say something like, “In the Catholic Church, only those who are Catholic and in a state of grace may receive communion. This is the only restriction to participation so I hope that this will not deter anyone from joining us in celebrating this joyful occasion. If anyone has a question about this, feel free to ask.”

Is that gentle enough??

Peace
James

Thank you all for the responses and warm welcomes!

James,

May I please steal your words?

Sure, it’s none of my business, per se, but I feel the need to honor our Lord, and in doing so protect Him in the Eucharist, as best I can. Simply telling my guests the standards of receiving Communion (beforehand) is what I had in mind. (Hence this thread.) There are reasons why we are not to receive if not in a state of grace (or if we are not Catholic). I think it is every Catholic’s duty to do their best to help others in respecting our Lord.

No you may not steal them - They are gladly given. :thumbsup:

Use them with my blessing. I’m glad to be of help.

Peace
James

belchers, I don’t think you could wrong using James’
Post (above).

James, I very much like reading your post.

 

[belchers1]

No you may not steal them - They are gladly given. :thumbsup:

Use them with my blessing. I’m glad to be of help.

Peace
James

Thank you!

Except that, any Mass I’ve attended that would be expected to have non-Catholics - and lapsed Catholics - attending (weddings, baptisms, funerals, first Holy Communion, Christmas, Easter, etc.) my experience has been that the Priest has always addressed this prior to the Liturgy of the Eucharist. That’s why I suggested that the OP have a conversation with the Priest ahead of time to alleviate any concerns and remove the awkwardness of personally having to educate every single invited guest.

It certainly won’t hurt to ask if anything will be said during Mass. I’ll ask our RCIA director, this Saturday when we have our retreat. I know there were a lot of “Cultural Catholics” present at the Christmas Vigil, and Father didn’t mention anything about needing to be in a state of grace to receive communion. (Although he did say he wished that kind of crowd would show up for Mass every weekend. I must say that I agree with him!) Still though, I feel very comfortable with the words James used. They are clear, concise, and yet still gentle. I was really struggling because I didn’t want to hurt anyone’s feelings, or come across as having a ‘holier than thou’ mentality. (My MIL already thinks this way of me, sadly.)

 

[TimothyH]

My daughter said, “Grandma, you can’t recieve communion.”

My mom replied, “I can if I want to.”

My daughter replied back, “OK, grandma, but I had to tell you. It’s on my soul if I don’t tell you. But now that you know, its on your soul if you do it anyway.”

My kids are awsome and so is my mom, but grandma got a blessing that day instead.

-Tim-

 

[belchers1]

My daughter said, “Grandma, you can’t recieve communion.”

My mom replied, “I can if I want to.”

My daughter replied back, “OK, grandma, but I had to tell you. It’s on my soul if I don’t tell you. But now that you know, its on your soul if you do it anyway.”

My kids are awsome and so is my mom, but grandma got a blessing that day instead.

-Tim-

Smart daughter!

 

[aicirt]

Experiences vary. I’ve only heard this addressed once in all my years (58) and that was last year around Christmas time when a visiting priest was serving our parish. My experience with the pastors we’ve had in the last 10 years is that none would have made such an announcement because they would have said it was unwelcoming. They routinely gave Communion to known non-Catholic (local Protestant clergy among them).

Our parish is very much into the “welcoming” thing. I just do not understand how a priest can give Communion to people in sin and to non-Catholics. Do priests really think that some miracle is going to happen and they’ll convert by receiving the Eucharist? Sure it can happen but what actually happens is scandal. Catholics witnessing this wonder why they bother to go to confession. And Catholics and non-Catholics spread the word that anyone can receive. So how does an ordinary Catholic refute this when the priest is knowingly praticipating?

 

[Phemie]

Our parish is very much into the “welcoming” thing. I just do not understand how a priest can give Communion to people in sin and to non-Catholics. Do priests really think that some miracle is going to happen and they’ll convert by receiving the Eucharist? Sure it can happen but what actually happens is scandal. Catholics witnessing this wonder why they bother to go to confession. And Catholics and non-Catholics spread the word that anyone can receive. So how does an ordinary Catholic refute this when the priest is knowingly praticipating?

That’s one of the most difficult things to deal with. I know that one of my friends got married by a judge a year ago. Her groom’s final annulment hadn’t come in yet but the wedding invitations had been sent out and they just found a judge and married civilly instead of in the Church. One of those priests was there to support them and to give them a blessing. So tell me, do they think they did anything wrong? Of course not. The Church doesn’t consider them married, because there was no dispensation for a lack of form or for a disparity of cult, or permission for a mixed marriage, or final decree, but the priest was there and blessed them so she feels perfectly correct to go to Communion and really, is she guilty of sin considering all that?

 

[aicirt]

That’s one of the most difficult things to deal with. I know that one of my friends got married by a judge a year ago. Her groom’s final annulment hadn’t come in yet but the wedding invitations had been sent out and they just found a judge and married civilly instead of in the Church. One of those priests was there to support them and to give them a blessing. So tell me, do they think they did anything wrong? Of course not. The Church doesn’t consider them married, because there was no dispensation for a lack of form or for a disparity of cult, or permission for a mixed marriage, or final decree, but the priest was there and blessed them so she feels perfectly correct to go to Communion and really, is she guilty of sin considering all that?

If there was a snafu with the Church in sending out the final annulment, I too would have married in front of a judge only because the reception was paid for and the invitations were sent. Then ASAP would have married in the Chruch. I would not have expected the priest to come to my civil wedding. I’m reading your post that the Church was giving the annulment but was tardy in sending it. However, it is now a year later. Did he get the annulment?

 

[Phemie]

If there was a snafu with the Church in sending out the final annulment, I too would have married in front of a judge only because the reception was paid for and the invitations were sent. Then ASAP would have married in the Chruch. I would not have expected the priest to come to my civil wedding. I’m reading your post that the Church was giving the annulment but was tardy in sending it. However, it is now a year later. Did he get the annulment?

His final decree did come in but they’re in no rush to convalidate. Why would they be, Father blessed their union…

He’d received notification that his marriage had been declared invalid but that notification included the warning that he couldn’t do anything until the second tribunal had ruled and he had a final decree. That didn’t happen until after the civil marriage and let me tell you that phone calls were flying back and forth between the parish and the diocese in the days preceding the wedding.

This problem would not have cropped up if the priest had done what he was supposed to do: refuse to prepare them for marriage before the final decree was in hand. Sometimes ignoring the rules to be ‘pastoral’ turns out not to be pastoral at all.

 

[JRKH]

That’s one of the most difficult things to deal with. I know that one of my friends got married by a judge a year ago. Her groom’s final annulment hadn’t come in yet but the wedding invitations had been sent out and they just found a judge and married civilly instead of in the Church. One of those priests was there to support them and to give them a blessing. So tell me, do they think they did anything wrong? Of course not. The Church doesn’t consider them married, because there was no dispensation for a lack of form or for a disparity of cult, or permission for a mixed marriage, or final decree, but the priest was there and blessed them so she feels perfectly correct to go to Communion and really, is she guilty of sin considering all that?

This becomes a very difficult question and one that can only be answered by her true and unclouded conscience.
The priest has complicated the issue greatly and there certainly is sin in his failure to properly discharge the duties of his office.
However, the culpability of the couple themselves may be mitigated somewhat by this priest’s error. We dare not judge here for we do not know the level of ignorance (vincible or invincible). About all you can do as a friend is try to encourage them to take that last step and have the marriage convalidated in the Church -

Is that same priest still in the picture??

Peace
James

 

[domandcarols]

Experiences vary. I’ve only heard this addressed once in all my years (58) and that was last year around Christmas time when a visiting priest was serving our parish. My experience with the pastors we’ve had in the last 10 years is that none would have made such an announcement because they would have said it was unwelcoming. They routinely gave Communion to known non-Catholic (local Protestant clergy among them).

That needs to be reported to the bishop as soon as possible.

 

[Cider]

That’s one of the most difficult things to deal with. I know that one of my friends got married by a judge a year ago. Her groom’s final annulment hadn’t come in yet but the wedding invitations had been sent out and they just found a judge and married civilly instead of in the Church. One of those priests was there to support them and to give them a blessing. So tell me, do they think they did anything wrong? Of course not. The Church doesn’t consider them married, because there was no dispensation for a lack of form or for a disparity of cult, or permission for a mixed marriage, or final decree, but the priest was there and blessed them so she feels perfectly correct to go to Communion and really, is she guilty of sin considering all that?

Wait, the priest went to their civil “marriage” by a JOP and blessed them and it knowing that the groom was not free to marry. Sigh.

 

[Phemie]

Wait, the priest went to their civil “marriage” by a JOP and blessed them and it knowing that the groom was not free to marry. Sigh.

Yes, told them the Church was happy for them.

 

[Phemie]

That needs to be reported to the bishop as soon as possible.

The bishop at the time would do the same, no recourse there. Haven’t seen it happen recently and there’s a different bishop so if it happens again I’ll do something about it.

 

[KateKimmer]

wow…and I worry about going to confesson for a lot smaller sins than that!!!
so dishearteneing, really.

How can we become better christians when our own leaders do as they please?
how can a student do better then his/her teacher?

 

[JRKH]

wow…and I worry about going to confesson for a lot smaller sins than that!!!
so dishearteneing, really.

How can we become better christians when our own leaders do as they please?
how can a student do better then his/her teacher?

Do not lose heart Kate. Things are beginning to get better.

There is a growing realization of the need to weed out the abuses [edited]. This will take time but it will occur for the Holy Spirit is at work in the Church.

Let us pray for an increase in vocations to the priesthood.

Peace
James