Messed-up family and your wedding

[anonymous_in_fl]

I am a firm believer that a Catholic wedding is a sacrament and should be respected as such, and not turned into a “business function” by inviting people who are neither direct family or friends of the bride and groom, such as the father of the groom’s " business associates".

Inviting strangers to a wedding just doesnt make sense to me. The bride and groom should be in charge of the who attends their wedding.

 

[EasterJoy]

…The brides’ father is very rich and offered to pay for the whole wedding. He basically just used that as an excuse to be controlling. They eventually had to tell him no thank-you to his money. They were much happier for it, even though he basically cut them out of his life after that…

There was a great Father’s Day quote in today’s Oregonian:

“Son, don’t marry for money. You can borrow it cheaper.”
Tommy Nelson, to son Bob Nelson

OP, this is going to be hard, but you and your intended husband can do it! You will always thank yourselves for having the courage to start your life out with a strong sense of solidarity with each other and a willingness to stand up for dignified treatment, both for yourselves and for others.

 

[mandajane]

I’m not worried about my FH’s ability to deal with his family. He has repeatedly laid down the law with them, and when they didn’t change their behavior, he has followed through with whatever he threatened to do. They usually have changed it, because as messed up as they are, they do love him, and want him to be happy. He and I had a long heart to heart about it last night (after he had a heart to heart with his mother), and basically, he believes she’s terrified, because last summer, all 8 of her children lived at home, and over the course of the last year 5 of them moved out. It’s apparently not me that she dislikes, but the concept that her children are growing up, and wont be around anymore. As she’s especially close to my FH, his leaving was harder for her.

I have to admit, at this point in the conversation, I was terrified his next words would be “so that’s why I want to live with mom & dad when we’re married.” But they weren’t. Thank GOODNESS

His mother said she’s going to try and be better about it, and in the end, that’s all I ask.

Still leaves me high and dry with the hillbilly hell that is my family though.

Thanks for your advice, everyone.

 

[EasterJoy]

I’m not worried about my FH’s ability to deal with his family. He has repeatedly laid down the law with them, and when they didn’t change their behavior, he has followed through with whatever he threatened to do. They usually have changed it, because as messed up as they are, they do love him, and want him to be happy. He and I had a long heart to heart about it last night (after he had a heart to heart with his mother), and basically, he believes she’s terrified, because last summer, all 8 of her children lived at home, and over the course of the last year 5 of them moved out. It’s apparently not me that she dislikes, but the concept that her children are growing up, and wont be around anymore. As she’s especially close to my FH, his leaving was harder for her.

I have to admit, at this point in the conversation, I was terrified his next words would be “so that’s why I want to live with mom & dad when we’re married.” But they weren’t. Thank GOODNESS

His mother said she’s going to try and be better about it, and in the end, that’s all I ask.

Still leaves me high and dry with the hillbilly hell that is my family though.

Thanks for your advice, everyone.

Not high and dry…you’re not going from the frying pan into the fire, after all!