MIL moving in with us

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1ke said:
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no1special:
She’s got a house that she owes $3000 on the mortgage and then it’s paid off. Literally 3 months from now. She’s told him that her boss has not paid her for 4 weeks and DH thinks that she needs help and living with us will be good for her
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Maybe you could go live in her paid off house and she can live with your DH? I’m only half joking.
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And I’m “half” seriously considering the idea!
 
Well it is a great idea. She gets to downsize, and you get to enjoy the fruits of her labors What’s not to love?
😜
 
There are no words of encouragement that will make this situation tolerable. You are his wife. Your needs should come first. Is he hoping by having his mom move in, he’ll have an ally?

Just no.
 
Dacinom said:
I agree.

What I don’t understand is that divorce seems likely according to the post, yet she doesn’t want to cause a fight because that would be unpleasant? Some details about this marriage are missing here. Praying.
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We fight and disagree constantly and we get no where. This discussion started heating up even though he said he made his decision. I told him how and why I felt and got it off my chest. I know he’s made the decision and rather than continuing to fight, I just let it be.

Divorce was not mentioned during this disagreement, but we’ve had times where we were close to divorcing in the past. Just not this time.
 
Letting him guilt you into moving his mother in isn’t going to fix your marriage and there and are far lesser decisions than that which a married couple should always make together.
 
no1special said:
No, he usually doesn’t make big decisions without me, so I’m floored by this decision. He refuses to realize how her toxicity will be to the detriment of our marriage. He says he’s making a choice that a true “man” would make.
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Go talk to your pastor with him.
 
no1special said:
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Cecilia_Dympna:
Just don’t let her move in.
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You don’t understand. My husband is a very hard man and has already blamed me for his failures in life. Even though I’ve tried to make up for things. For example, we got married PRIOR to him fulfilling a career path and he ended up getting a job to support us. Even though he didn’t know what he wanted to go to school for.

I took 3 online classes for him to get his degree and I still am the one he blames for his status in life.
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This is terrible.

You need to seek professional help.
 
no1special said:
I took 3 online classes for him to get his degree and I still am the one he blames for his status in life.
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Okay, this is fraud.

Sounds like you all have way bigger problems than MIL moving in
 
Let him know that your parents are moving in too since he is okay with it. See what he thinks of that idea.

Seriously, tell him you are willing to compromise. She can sell her house and move near you and that’s fine, but she cannot move into your house. You need to speak up.
 
No, it is not. If she is perfectly capable of living alone, there is no reason for her to live with you if you and your husband do not agree on this. As I said, compromise by letting your husband know you don’t have a problem with her leaving near, but not with you.

It really does seem that there is a communication and respect problem in your marriage if your husband thinks it is okay to allow this without ever speaking to you first.
 
no1special said:
She’s got a house that she owes $3000 on the mortgage and then it’s paid off. Literally 3 months from now. She’s told him that her boss has not paid her for 4 weeks and DH thinks that she needs help and living with us will be good for her.
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So she sells the house and lives of the proceeds. That doesn’t have anything to do with you or your husband.
 
It is not, it’s being realistic. You seem to have already made up your mind though. Is this your way of saying you WANT to end your marriage?
 
We’re struggling with our marriage and having her here will only hurt our marriage. I told him it’s not in OUR best interest, but he insists these are the sacrifices we make for our parents who raised us and we owe them.
 
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No, tell him a man leaves his parents and a woman leaves hers and the two become one. You are each other’s family now and he needs to consider you before his mother.

May I ask how long you have been married?
 
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