MIL moving in with us

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Absolutely.

I felt like the OP could use a voice that lives what her husband is saying he wants to do - take care of momma; but, also validates her feelings that she should have been consulted and that some ground rules should be established.
 
no1special said:
Lately, I’ve told him that I’m trying to submit to his position of the head of our family
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Well this was a mistake. Now that you tell us this, it makes perfect sense why he is behaving the way he is. I would retract that statement immediately, so he knows he can’t push you around any more.

Disclaimer: I am not a big fan of the whole “man as the head of household” concept. Usually because this is the kind of thing that happens way too often.
 
Well, it depends on who’s name is on the deed, lease, rental agreement…

But, I digress. What about your ‘exorcism’ thread you posted in the ‘Spirituality’ forum, earlier today, that was closed within hours?

You said that there was some demonic activity in your home, and, although you had your priest say prayers, you are not satisfied with things as they are? Have you told MIL? She has a right to know what she’s getting herself into!

And, it seems that one of your children has been affected…or, at least, thinks she has. From the thread (which has been shut down, quite early-usually, threads are closed after fourteen days of inactivity), it seems that that she has made an appointment for at least one more prayer session!

Did you ask that it be closed? If not, what reason did the mods give? I was going to bring this up on that thread, but, as it’s been closed down, it made it expedient to bring it up here.

In your own opinion, does this trouble have anything to do with your MIL being moved in? People generally don’t bring the demonic with them, when moving to a close relative’s home. Is this your way of crying out for help?

Note: I understand that this can be extremely personal, and I’m not expecting a response myself, but you should ask yourself these, and probably other questions. Don’t to the best of your ability, use this to ‘punish’ your husband, and/or MIL. This is extremely serious business! Answer each question that has been brought up as honestly-to yourself-as possible.

Please, be honest with MIL about this. She has a right, no matter how bad she has treated you in the past, to know that your family, and your priest, to some extent, are thinking that your house may be entertaining unclean spirits! Wouldn’t you want to know if any prospective home, has such a past? Even if not everyone is taking it seriously?

On the other hand, the dilemma may be taken out of your hands. People have reported, even on these forums, about houses that, due to demonic activity, become totally uninhabitable!

I hope, for your sake and her own, that no final plans are being considered about the sale of your MIL’s home. Please, don’t move anybody into your home, until this issue has been resolved-to all concerned.
 
Legend said:
Well, it depends on who’s name is on the deed, lease, rental agreement…

But, I digress. What about your ‘exorcism’ thread you posted in the ‘Spirituality’ forum, earlier today, that was closed within hours?

You said that there was some demonic activity in your home, and, although you had your priest say prayers, you are not satisfied with things as they are?

And, it seems that one of your children has been affected…or, at least, thinks she has. From the thread (which has been shut down, quite early-usually, threads are closed after fourteen days of inactivity), it seems that that she has made an appointment for at least one more prayer session!

Did you ask that it be closed? If not, what reason did the mods give? I was going to bring this up on that thread, but, as it’s been closed down, it made it expedient to bring it up here.

In your own opinion, does this trouble have anything to do with your MIL being moved in? Is this your way of crying out for help?

Don’t to the best of your ability, use this to ‘punish’ your husband, and/or MIL. This is extremely serious business! Answer each question that has been brought up as honestly-to yourself-as possible.

Please, be honest with MIL about this. She has a right, no matter how bad she has treated you in the past, to know that your family, and your priest, to some extent, are thinking that your house may be entertaining unclean spirits! Wouldn’t you want to know if any prospective home, has such a past? Even if not everyone is taking it seriously?

On the other hand, the dilemma may be taken out of your hands. People have reported, even on these forums, about houses that, due to demonic activity, become totally uninhabitable!

I hope, for your sake and her own, that no final plans are being considered about the sale of your MIL’s home. Please, don’t move anybody into your home, until this issue has been resolved-to all concerned.
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I have no idea why my thread was closed on the same day I posted it. I have not received any notification as to why. Thank you for noticing as I don’t know who to contact to find out the reason.

As for demonic activity: it is not in our house. Just bought house and we have had it blessed and exorcised. My MIL issue has NOTHING to do with that aspect of our life.

We have issues dealing with spiritual matters with our family as a whole for a number of years that I’d rather not get into specifically here, but have brought the matter to our priest who obviously saw the need to “start” the process of our healing, but has not guided us as to the next steps to be taken. It was his recommendation our daughter be prayed over.

Like I mentioned, the search for deliverance/exorcism process started 4 months ago. The issue with my MIL just came to light this past week. Completely separate issues. But I think that with dealing with our family crisis PLUS my MIL thrown in the mix, I felt utterly overwhelmed and frustrated.

Thank you for your (name removed by moderator)ut. ☺️
 
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You are a good son. May God bless you for your loving care of him.
 
I think a lot depends on the needs, wishes and temperament of the parents. My late grandfather was very uncomfortable with the idea of his own family doing intimate care but fine with other people and did not want to relocate from the area he had always lived.
 
We believe family should be cared for by family. When our parents arrive at the age that they cannot care for themselves adequately, then we will take on the responsibility of being their caregiver.

With that said, this thread was pertaining to a MIL that was not aged, in poor physical or mental health, or unable to care for herself. She’s the same age as my mother and is a completely self-sufficient, able-bodied woman.
 
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to the original post: Be a saint. Don’t get involved in any argument. Recognize the possibility that a person may have psychological problems, and may not be responsible for their actions. At the very least, stand your ground in silence, if possible.

If any abuse or criticism is sent your way, you might just ask DH what you should do/say about it.

Digital voice recorders are very small, and you may want to consider recording any abuse, if that’s what you’re expecting – have a leg to stand on, if push comes to shove, but NEVER tip your hand that you are recording anything.
 
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I would get a trailer home and move myself into the trailer. I would live homeless under a bridge. I would sell everything I own to avoid that situation!
 
You said your husband was dissatisfied with his status as he blames you for his career not being on track like he would have wished. Is it possible that your husband is seeing $$$ in that if MIL moves in he will have easier access to her money. I don’t mean that he would steal it but that it would be easier for him to “borrow” from her or to insist on any inheritance that’s left later when she passes should be his for taking her into his home. (all this being done under the guise of “It’s what a man does for family.” ) Just something to consider.
 
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II didn’t even think of this !I definitely don’t think we’re getting the whole story here. I don’t think the spiritual ‘exorcism’ or other things in that thread have been fully examined.

OP,you have a lot of problems to sort through. not with us, publicly, but between you, your husband, your mil, and your children. Maybe other family members, too. It seems as if you accept the probability that your marriage is doomed, and you just want to let off steam. Which may not be bad for you in the short run, but, what are you doing for the well-being of your marriage, in the long run?

My advice would be for you to speak to your pastor, separately and together, and work on this. You have been having spiritual problems you describe as ‘preternatural’, Not a good sign for the future. Do you even care if your marriage fails? It seems as if you want to talk about these problems, but not to work on them. I’m sorry to sound harsh, but this is what I see. Really, It’s not the job of forum posters to encourage the end of a marriage-unless the physical violence involved is making staying downright dangerous for one or more party. I pray it won’t go this far. And I feel that, for the near future, the only thing I can do of a positive nature is to stay away.

I will be praying for all involved, however, and encourage others to do the same. Hoping that this works out.
 
Dear sister, It seems to me that you are forgetting the rest of that scripture: Ephesians 5:22-33 (NIV)
“22 Wives, submit yourselves to your own husbands as you do to the Lord. 23 For the husband is the head of the wife as Christ is the head of the church, his body, of which he is the Savior. 24 Now as the church submits to Christ, so also wives should submit to their husbands in everything.
25 Husbands, love your wives, just as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her . . . 28 In this same way, husbands ought to love their wives as their own bodies.”
It shouldn’t be one-sided. Husbands and wives should both care for one another for the good of the marriage.
 
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I hope the husband isn’t doing this for the wallet! It is his false God if he is doing this for the wallet!!! Proverbs tells us that it’s not good to live with a contentious woman. He is making a home with two contentious woman … may God have mercy on this household.

I often read Corinthians where it says that no body part is above another; the eye can’t tell the foot to go away. But, it does not make sense to keep the foot by the eye either! Sometimes the boundaries are made for a happy functioning body. It is worth the extra cost to get an arrangement to let the foot have its space away from the eye.
 
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Giggly_Giraffe said:
Proverbs tells us that it’s not good to live with a contentious woman. He is making a home with two contentious woman … may God have mercy on this household.
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Seems to me his wife has many reasons to be contentious…one them is mainly her husband. I hope he’s not doing it for his mother’s money either. It just seems suspicious that he’s proposing it when she’s not hurting financially. I could see it if she was having trouble supporting herself.
 
Why are you allowing this to happen if she will cause the death of your marriage? You are describing her as a toxic person. Don’t you have a say in this matter? Unless she will be homeless, you should not have her move in. And if she does move in it should be on the condition that all parties are satisfied with the arrangement. Start planning now for alternative living arrangements for her in the likely event she needs to move out. Your husband’s duty is to his wife first and foremost while at the same time caring for his mother. That may only be possible with his mother living in a apartment for seniors etc. Good luck.
 
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