Military family life? Advice please!

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Personally, If I had a choice, I’d go with Air Force instead of Navy - if he’s put on a ship he could be gone for 6 months at a time - with Air Faorce, sure he’ll get TDY but I can’t imagine it would be that much longer.
Good Luck! God Bless
Rye
 
Wow… As an Air Force pilot (9 years active duty, 14 Air National Guard, multiple deployments, 5 children, command experience, 23+ years married to the same beautiful Catholic convert), I can say my number one priority is my faith, my number two priority is my family. Just to confirm my thinking, I asked my wife what she thought my priorities were–and she confirmed my thoughts (with no prompting). I’ve even unashamedly mentioned the same priorities to my commander–he didn’t blink.

Yes, I have missed some things. Yes, our family has sacrificed. Yes, I have attended Mass in many different countries (including tents in the desert). Conversely, she and I made career decisions together and we’ve both taken ownership of the results.

I have seen marriages succeed and fail in my career; I wouldn’t attribute the success or failures to the military life. I would say that if there’s a chink in one’s armor, the sacrifices of this life (including pilot training) will exacerbate the flaws. Conversely, if you’re devoted to each other–working for each other’s good on a daily basis–then you can make whatever decision you eventually make (or is made for you) into a positive. Remember, sacrifices and suffering are opportunities to grow closer to God. You’re going to have those opportunities no matter which path you eventually follow. Good luck.

God bless,
Joe
 
My own perspective as a military dependent is that military life has a toughness about it that is not for everybody. For example, I decided it was not for me.

However, the hard parts of military life can mold some people into reaching his / her greatest potential. JFK would be a prime example. Military life teaches people to lead and that experience (for those who make it) is very valuable.

The “tough parts” my parents lived through included:
One year deployment to Japan
Three years in Germany
One year in Korea
Two tours in Vietnam (no family obviously)

However, both my parents came from small towns and they met in the military. In fact, my Dad left home before he finished high school to join the Merchant Marine and then the military. In the military he got all his degrees (BA, MBA). So for them the idea of even being an officer was incredible. They met and married when they were first Lieutenants.

My Dad was also kind of quiet. However, the military turned him into a successful leader. When he got his star (brigadier general) he was the second youngest in the Army. A few years later, he wanted a new challenge (in leadership), so he retired and took over a small failing company. He turned that company around and took it public. His military mentors had other plans for him (big military jobs); however, my Dad wanted a new challenge.

Throughout all this our mother raised five kids, worked full time, and supported my Dad (entertaining etc.) 100%. So for my parents, the military was incredible. For people we knew along the way that didn’t make it, it was not so good. Along the way I was able to meet a lot of interesting people one of whom has since written a book. That guy described his first combat experience with my Dad in his book. The Army also sent my Dad to flight school (combat helicopter).

If there is a pursuit, career, hobby, that you love it might help in the periods when your husband is away if you go that route. It helped my mom, and we all learned to “pitch in”.
It sounds like your husband’s idea to get another degree is prudent. Whether he does that in ROTC or in night school it could pay off later. It definitely paid off for my Dad.

The part of the military that I did not like is that you have to be careful about everything you do and say (including your family). That is good thinking for civilian life also; however, in the military it is crystal clear. The traveling did not bother me.
 
I have never been one to pose branches against one another, we have friends in every branch…but honestly after reading the Navy and Air Force posts…good gravy…join either of those! LOL. The Army…is a whole 'nother animal. We’d give our eye teeth for 6 month deployments, and our operation tempo seems to be atleast 4 times what I am reading in these AF and Navy posts.

We should have went AF…LOL. We’re encouraging our son to go Navy not Army. The Army in two wars…no FUN…absolutely no fun, and whether it is “worth it” or not…my opinion changes daily.

Sabrina
 
Hello everyone…

Thank you all for your prayers and support… HE GOT SELECTED!!! :):)🙂

He will be leaving for officer training school either in January or April… depending on how quickly all his paper work goes through… and from there will go on to UPT (pilot training).

Though I know we will have different difficulties ahead of us in the military, the financial aspects of things are a huge burden off our shoulders. We will soon have job security and health insurance!

Hopefully we will soon also be able to start trying to have a baby. 🙂 Praise GOD!!!

Any additional advice for emotional preparations I need to make as a military wife are still welcome.

Again, thank you all so much!!! :):)🙂
 
Debora123 said:
Hello everyone…

Thank you all for your prayers and support… HE GOT SELECTED!!! :):)🙂

He will be leaving for officer training school either in January or April… depending on how quickly all his paper work goes through… and from there will go on to UPT (pilot training).

Though I know we will have different difficulties ahead of us in the military, the financial aspects of things are a huge burden off our shoulders. We will soon have job security and health insurance!

Hopefully we will soon also be able to start trying to have a baby. 🙂 Praise GOD!!!

Any additional advice for emotional preparations I need to make as a military wife are still welcome.

Again, thank you all so much!!!
Click to expand...
:clapping:

Truth be told, officers don’t have it as bad as enlisted personnel, but that does not mean life will be a cake walk. If anything, he may have longer working hours than his own maintenance crew.

The fact is that there is very little you can do to prepare until you receive orders. Once you have an assignment in hand, that is when the research begins. Priority one is finding the base chapel and getting registered. Thank God for Catholic representation. Every military installation has an assigned Catholic Chaplain, though their life can be busy and hectic. Next, find decent housing as close to post as possible, or sign up for post housing. He will need as short of a commute as possible. Link up with the family readiness group for your husband’s unit. Everyone there will be in the same boat as you, and you all will need each other for support. After that, the rest will be up to you. Since you don’t have kids yet, there are a lot of things that you don’t have to worry about: school transfers, contacts for friends, etc. Your only real decision is three-fold: are you A) going back to school, B) getting a job, or C) starting a family?

I don’t mean to depress people here, but it is a sad reality of the military. I’m sure you’ve thought of this already, but for others who may read this, they should know. Never assume that you can wait until later to start your family, or to add to it. I had my share of close calls, and I will never take it for granted. In fact, two of my children are “deployment babies”. :eek:

Have fun, and enjoy it while it lasts. God bless.
 
Debora123 said:
Hello everyone…

Thank you all for your prayers and support… HE GOT SELECTED!!! :):)🙂

He will be leaving for officer training school either in January or April… depending on how quickly all his paper work goes through… and from there will go on to UPT (pilot training).

Though I know we will have different difficulties ahead of us in the military, the financial aspects of things are a huge burden off our shoulders. We will soon have job security and health insurance!

Hopefully we will soon also be able to start trying to have a baby. 🙂 Praise GOD!!!

Any additional advice for emotional preparations I need to make as a military wife are still welcome.

Again, thank you all so much!!! :):)🙂
Click to expand...
Congrats – to the both of you.
 
Congratulations!

An Air Force Pilot, wow.

We have an Air Force base near us (Langley).

I hope you guys end up in a good place.

Obviously, I know nothing about how to be a wife and I am struggling to be a husband. However, I would say don’t forget about life insurance.

Good luck.
 
Hi Debora123,

Congratulations on you and your husband joining the AF. I haven’t been around in a long time and missed when you first started this thread. I call myself a retired AF Wife as I served beside my husband the full 20 years he put in as an enlisted man, and has been retired for 14 years now. The AF was an amazing experience, my son was born in Germany, and were stationed in NY, NH, NC and Wyoming and wouldn’t of traded our time in the AF for anything, I was truly blessed as he was never away more then 4 months at a time and never got a remote(stationed at a place where families can’t go and is usually a year or two time period).

When hubby joined the AF we weren’t married yet and seen the AF as a quick way to be financially secure(yes and no, we got a study pay check, but it took like 5 years before we felt financially secure) and be married. We discussed everything including the good possibility of him going to war and dying. I see no one mentioned that here, please be aware as a pilot that is a real possibility, and you have to deal with reality. And never ever pass up the extra insurance, that even goes for non military life. God forbid something should happen, with insurance you will have time to gather your wits and make good decisions, instead of trying to figure out how you are going to support your family.

As far as marriages go, the ones that I have seen survive over the years are the ones where there are strong woman. If you are clingy, need to have him by your side all the time, then it won’t work. You also have to be prepared to do a lot of child raising by yourself. While he might be stationed at home, during alerts and such he will be flying sorties and will be gone or locked up for a week or two. Also not mentioned while officers seem to have it easier then enlisted is really not true, in the fact that they have to play games to make rank and keep appearances etc. For this they get the better Drs, and get to get saluted more then the enlisted.

Now if I hadn’t scared you off, the Military family (all branches) are a wonderful group of people. We all are in the same boat, so you have support, help and will make life long friendships. If you last the 20 years, you will have benefits for the rest of your life, and a pension that depending on where you live can be a very nice house payment. And as far as kids go, moving is what you make of it. My son adjusted very well to each base we went to, and when hubby retired son was starting his Jr year in HS and gave him the choice of finishing out school in WY or going back east. He picked back east and fit right in at the new HS, Made Honor Roll the first quarter and even made the Varsity team in Soccer. Even now he is 31 and talks about all the fun he had being an AF Brat.

Well I wish you all the best and you all will be in my prayers, and remember it’s all about what you make of it. 🙂
 
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