Missing mass with relatives in town?

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Lasainte: none of us were in your shoes this weekend.

Perhaps any one of us might have missed mass too in the circumstances.

None of us know.

You will find no solace with anyone that says you didn’t sin, because you may have a nagging doubt that they are wrong.

You won’t find any solace with those who think you should have gone either.

The only solace is going to be had in confession.

Because if you didn’t have doubts you wouldn’t have asked.

Kudos for asking, because you are trying to check.

And you can take all of this under “advisement” if you wish.:cool:
 
LaSainte said:
So getting PAID to miss mass=o.k.
Missing mass for a serious family obligation that can’t be rescheduled=hellfire.

Good to know.
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Oh my goodness!That is not the case at all. The person who is working and misses Mass is a situation the church recognizes and understands ahead of time. The person who misses Mass because of personal schedules needs to go to confession that is all. We all need confession regularly anyway. I know I do! So take the time now that your house is fixed up, and fix up your soul as well. I find that having a regular interval between confession helps me stay focused. Then, as necessary, I go to confession for situations like you described.
 
LaSainte said:
So getting PAID to miss mass=o.k.
Missing mass for a serious family obligation that can’t be rescheduled=hellfire.

Good to know.
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What was the “serious family obligation?” Someone was gravely ill? You were driving to a funeral?

Oh, right, you were working on a home improvement project. Sorry I don’t see a home improvement project as a “serious family obligation.”

When you parents showed up, you could have given them a general schedule listing the top priority projects. And then say, “and of course we need to attend Mass.”
 
LaSainte said:
Yes they were. They did work all day Saturday, from 9 am until after 5. They had no idea how long everything would take and Sunday evening mass was still an option at that point. They has no idea that the door would be such a fiasco. You know how sometimes you plan on like a Sunday evening mass and then something unexpectedly happens to prevent you from going? Does it put you in a state of mortal sin just because you didn’t go to an earlier mass? Of course not!
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If you stopped at 5 on Saturday, why wasn’t a Vigil Mass possible? They are usually held at around 6 o’clock near where I live.

Anyway, it now seems that you missed Mass not through wilful neglect but through lack of planning, which I would say (though don’t take my word for it) might be a venial sin or no sin at all.

It occurs to me that you might have expected the people on this thread to know more about the specific details of your situation than you revealed in your posts, and that this might have contributed to the arguments which then developed. For most of this thread, I thought “probably a mortal sin”, and it was only after your post quoted above that I changed my stance.
 
LaSainte said:
So getting PAID to miss mass=o.k.
Missing mass for a serious family obligation that can’t be rescheduled=hellfire.

Good to know.
Click to expand...
Actually, I might be wrong, but I understand that not all paid jobs permit us to miss Mass.

Doctors, nurses, police officers, fire fighters, those are professions that are necessary to save lives. Being a construction worker I don’t think so, because it isn’t essential to work on Sunday during all the mass times.

Not every single person had to work to put up the door. DH and you could have split up for Mass.

Go ask a priest, in person.
 
LaSainte said:
Thanks for the replies all! No, my family is not Catholic. I just read on these threads all the time that a work shift or some such reason is valid for missing mass, and yet this work, which would have been impossible to do on ANY other occasion, is not valid. I don’t get that at all. The guys were literally working during EVERY single mass, even Saturday’s vigil, after which we had to drive across town to meet the rest of the family who we have not seen for almost 3 months. My husband and I didn’t get the locks on the front door until after 11 pm last night after working since 6:45 am (we almost had to just go to bed with no locks on the front door!). I’m just wondering where during all this with 2 babies and family in town we were supposed to find the time. As I type this my husband is outside STILL working on planting trees and I’m getting ready to give the kids a bath.

Are we supposed to kill ourselves to get to mass?
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Just imagine the powerful witness you could have been by MAKING MASS the priority.
saying things like are we supposed to kill ourselves to go to mass only shows that you are not viewing this properly and probably have some guilt you are fighting. You could have gone, period. You did other things like moving that were more important to you that day., Go to confession, handle it different next time and move on.
 
Moore11 said:
Just imagine the powerful witness you could have been by MAKING MASS the priority.
saying things like are we supposed to kill ourselves to go to mass only shows that you are not viewing this properly and probably have some guilt you are fighting. You could have gone, period. You did other things like moving that were more important to you that day., Go to confession, handle it different next time and move on.
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Trust me, in my family, this would not have been a powerful witness. Thy are so sick of me inconveniencing everyone to get to mass that they just roll their eyes and laugh and. And jokes about me being a “Shi’ite Catholic”. Then they try to debate me over The fact that I “really believe this stuff”.

For those of you who know about my struggles with the doctrine on ABC, I was also told by a family member this weekend that if I get pregnant it’s my own fault and I should be “ashamed of myself” because I know how to prevent it. (please do not think these are bad people. My family loves God with all of their hearts; they just don’t believe in the infallibility of the Church, so don’t judge them too harshly).

Anyway, my attempts a being a faithful Catholic are starting to be seen as self-righteous to some of my family, especially when everyone who drove hours to help and see ME has to rearrange everything for my sake.

This is not why I missed mass btw, I’m just saying that it would not have been a “teachable moment” by any means.
 
Soler said:
If you stopped at 5 on Saturday, why wasn’t a Vigil Mass possible? They are usually held at around 6 o’clock near where I live.

Anyway, it now seems that you missed Mass not through wilful neglect but through lack of planning, which I would say (though don’t take my word for it) might be a venial sin or no sin at all.

It occurs to me that you might have expected the people on this thread to know more about the specific details of your situation than you revealed in your posts, and that this might have contributed to the arguments which then developed. For most of this thread, I thought “probably a mortal sin”, and it was only after your post quoted above that I changed my stance.
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They stopped around 5:30. The vigil is at 5. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt 🙂 it was like we decided on Friday to skip mass that weekend or anything.
 
LaSainte said:
Trust me, in my family, this would not have been a powerful witness. Thy are so sick of me inconveniencing everyone to get to mass that they just roll their eyes and laugh and. And jokes about me being a “Shi’ite Catholic”. Then they try to debate me over The fact that I “really believe this stuff”.

For those of you who know about my struggles with the doctrine on ABC, I was also told by a family member this weekend that if I get pregnant it’s my own fault and I should be “ashamed of myself” because I know how to prevent it. (please do not think these are bad people. My family loves God with all of their hearts; they just don’t believe in the infallibility of the Church, so don’t judge them too harshly).

Anyway, my attempts a being a faithful Catholic are starting to be seen as self-righteous to some of my family, especially when everyone who drove hours to help and see ME has to rearrange everything for my sake.

This is not why I missed mass btw, I’m just saying that it would not have been a “teachable moment” by any means.
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I am in a similair situation. I am the only Cathoic in my family and my mom is shaking her head because we are expecting our fourth. They think we are religious homeschooling nuts. But here is the thing, you are misunderstanding the idea of “powerful witness” and confusing it with “converting your guests” Until the day you die, you should be proud that God is #1 in your life if others think it is crazy. That IS powerful witness. Listen, you screwed up and you probably are tired of fighting the war with them anyway. Seriously, I understand. But you were weak. Pray for strength next time and learn from this. I think you are putting way more effort into trying to justify this to yourself. move on.

You will always be a witness to something. This weekend you were a witness to their idea that God is not all important and you don’t have to go to Mass. They probably think you are more normal because of it. But they should be thinking how abnormal you are because you went.
 
Mary_Gail_36 said:
Actually, I might be wrong, but I understand that not all paid jobs permit us to miss Mass.

Doctors, nurses, police officers, fire fighters, those are professions that are necessary to save lives. Being a construction worker I don’t think so, because it isn’t essential to work on Sunday during all the mass times.

Not every single person had to work to put up the door. DH and you could have split up for Mass.

Go ask a priest, in person.
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Who would watch the kids?
 
LaSainte said:
Who would watch the kids?
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You at mass.
I have 3 6 and under, I am a stay at home homeschooling dad. You can go to Mass with the kids, or the kids can watch the door hanging. You are just taking everything suggested and shooting it down. You know you could have done it. Stop it. Just let it make you a better person.
 
Moore11 said:
I am in a similair situation. I am the only Cathoic in my family and my mom is shaking her head because we are expecting our fourth. They think we are religious homeschooling nuts. But here is the thing, you are misunderstanding the idea of “powerful witness” and confusing it with “converting your guests” Until the day you die, you should be proud that God is #1 in your life if others think it is crazy. That IS powerful witness. Listen, you screwed up and you probably are tired of fighting the war with them anyway. Seriously, I understand. But you were weak. Pray for strength next time and learn from this. I think you are putting way more effort into trying to justify this to yourself. move on.
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I see what you mean. I guess I just don’t see it as wrong. I mean, I am allowed to DELIBERATELY go on a vacation for completely recreational purposes and if there is no church nearby, no big deal. But if I’ve been working my butt off all day to install the front door on my home, and I have to miss mass just to complete it by 11:30 that night, then it would be better for me to just forget it and sleep without a front door on my house rather than miss mass? I don’t know where you people live, but where I live that’s just dangerous and irresponsible. There’s a registered pedophile living a block away for crying out loud.
 
Moore11 said:
You at mass.
I have 3 6 and under, I am a stay at home homeschooling dad. You can go to Mass with the kids, or the kids can watch the door hanging. You are just taking everything suggested and shooting it down. You know you could have done it. Stop it. Just let it make you a better person.
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Please see my previous post. My 2 year old runs off. Last time I took them to church, he ran off and I lost sight of him and had to put down and leave the 6 month old on the floor to frantically search for him. I will not take them by myself again until they are older, and according to the CCC, I don’t have to. I surely could not have left them at home to “watch the door hanging”. We are talking about a 2 year old and a 9 month old with a wide open door to the street. My 2 year old would have been running outside alone while the 9 month old crawled after him. Not safe.
 
LaSainte said:
I see what you mean. I guess I just don’t see it as wrong. I mean, I am allowed to DELIBERATELY go on a vacation for completely recreational purposes and if there is no church nearby, no big deal. But if I’ve been working my butt off all day to install the front door on my home, and I have to miss mass just to complete it by 11:30 that night, then it would be better for me to just forget it and sleep without a front door on my house rather than miss mass? I don’t know where you people live, but where I live that’s just dangerous and irresponsible. There’s a registered pedophile living a block away for crying out loud.
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You are falsely representing the situation. Where I live there is a 5 on sat, 8 10, 11, 1(spanish) and 5 pm on sunday. You could have gone. You are fooling yourself if you are painting it into a situation where it was sleep with no door or miss mass. it wasn’t and you need to stop looking at it like that. This kind of defensiveness is what keeps people from becoming holier and more sanctified. And that should be your goal. Not legalistic following rules so you can say you followed the rules but by making the SACRIFICE of Jesus on the Cross the MOST important thing in your life. Once you understand what Mass is for you then you can begin to see why you should have been there.
I don’t want to argue about it. Your conscious is not mine and is only formed by you and whatever you let form it. Who knows what graces could have come your way with teh move if you had let Jesus take priority. I hope everything works out ok. And I hope next time you set a better example for your kids and for your guests.
 
Moore11 said:
You are falsely representing the situation. Where I live there is a 5 on sat, 8 10, 11, 1(spanish) and 5 pm on sunday. You could have gone. You are fooling yourself if you are painting it into a situation where it was sleep with no door or miss mass. it wasn’t and you need to stop looking at it like that. This kind of defensiveness is what keeps people from becoming holier and more sanctified. And that should be your goal. Not legalistic following rules so you can say you followed the rules but by making the SACRIFICE of Jesus on the Cross the MOST important thing in your life. Once you understand what Mass is for you then you can begin to see why you should have been there.
I don’t want to argue about it. Your conscious is not mine and is only formed by you and whatever you let form it. Who knows what graces could have come your way with teh move if you had let Jesus take priority. I hope everything works out ok. And I hope next time you set a better example for your kids and for your guests.
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I’m sorry, what does the CCC say about missing mass to care for infants again?
 
LaSainte said:
I’m sorry, what does the CCC say about missing mass to care for infants again?
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Then say you missed Mass to care for your children rather then some “serious family obligation.” And if your children regularly require that you miss Mass, why is it a question for yesterday?

You are grasping at straws.
 
LaSainte said:
They stopped around 5:30. The vigil is at 5. Thanks for giving me the benefit of the doubt 🙂 it was like we decided on Friday to skip mass that weekend or anything.
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No. “It’s like” you should have decided on Friday
that attending Mass on Sunday would be your prioirty.
Code: 
You still have not answered why your mother 
could not watch the little ones -
at home or, if she was willing - at Church.
 
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