Mixed race relationship's

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severus68 said:
So, should Christ have told the apostles to keep to their own race?
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Ridiculous comparison. Spreading the Good News to save souls hasn’t got squat to do with choosing a marriage partner. Your spouse is your own personal preference, just like what you eat, wear, drive or anything else you do within the confines of your own family.
 
@TC:

Primer In Genetics:
Women are XX
Men are XY
(yes we all know this but it is a setup)

The Xs undergo noticeable mutations through generations. They literally cant be tracked over long periods. Further, your X can almost fully disappear as in this example regardless (hence why no X tracking is possible):

You X1,X2 + Hubby X3,Y
Child X1, Y (whether boy or girl it has one of your Xs, lets say its a boy)

Child has wife:
Child X1, Y, Wife X4, X5
Grand Child (Male) Y, X5 (no influence beyond the minor mutations you might impart)

After a couple of generations your glorious DNA will be gone. The only constant in genetics is the Y which is passed father to son almost unmutated (can trace the Y back through all of human history it is so constant).

That is my circuitous way of saying that you shouldn’t be concerned about your genes being represented in a certain way. Your genetic influence is fleeting! Dont base life on it, let your kids live and love!

Also, and more convincing than my overly rationalistic bull:

The most beautiful woman I know is mixed race. Don’t you want beautiful grand-babies!?
 
humans are hardwired to form “us” vs “them” groups. what it really means to be racist (or any -ist) is when we start thinking of those in the “them” groups as being somehow worth less than those in the “us” group.

discrimination is portrayed as something to be avoided at any cost, but any time you make a choice about anything, you’re discriminating against all other options. and besides, who you end up marrying is mostly due to your location and a series of cost benefit analyses, anyway. keeping the argument confined to potential marriage partners, here are several examples:

1)you are an ethnic japanese living in japan. marrying a catholic is important to you. less than 1% of japanese are catholic. therefore, you only date non-ethnic japanese.

2)you are an american republican living in a large city. marrying someone who shares the same political views is important to you. american blacks are nearly all democrats, especially in large cities. therefore, you do not date blacks.

3)you are an immigrant to a country where your home language is not spoken very often outside of your ethnic population. it is important to you to speak your language at home as a family. therefore, you do not date outside your ethnic group.

you can argue that these examples are racist, but it’s really just an exercise in probability and efficiency. the chance that someone in the “don’t date” group will actually fit your criteria is so small that it makes much more sense to “profile” and have a higher chance of meeting someone compatible. it works because certain ethnic groups or races have certain defining characteristics, and if those are the characteristics you’re concerned with, it’s a shortcut to dating people you won’t want to be with.

let’s also argue that there is not only one “soulmate,” that given enough time and effort, one could find many people that would make suitable spouses. should we say that anyone who marries within their race/ethnic group just didn’t put enough time or effort into finding someone more colorfully diverse? and why are we so focused on color in the first place? don’t forget that focusing on race/ethnicity as a measure of diversity implies that it actually does matter at least as much as any other aspect of a person matters, which is exactly the opposite of what “not being racist” purports to do.

now… as far as the original question! I do not think it’s at all sinful or out of the ordinary to assume your children will marry within your group. the vast majority of people in the world date and marry within their ethnic background or race. if that’s what you’re used to, of course that’s what you’ll expect to happen. I would say you only have a problem if you end up disliking whoever your children choose only because they’re different, not because of anything important like values or personality. but either way… as long as you can treat them with the respect they deserve as a person, I think you’re good.
 
boomerang said:
Ridiculous comparison. Spreading the Good News to save souls hasn’t got squat to do with choosing a marriage partner. Your spouse is your own personal preference, just like what you eat, wear, drive or anything else you do within the confines of your own family.
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That is not what you spoke of in your initial response to the OP. You said:

"I see nothing wrong with wanting your children to carry on the family race/culture. It’s the way it’s been for millennia, and it’s the reason why we have different races, ethnicities, nationalities, religions and cultures. All these differences make the world interesting.

I like my ethnicity and culture and I would not like to see it bred away for the sake of political correctness or any other reason. But when your kids are grown, as in everything, they will decide for themselves. "

No one is telling you who to marry. BTW, no, I would not choose a marriage partner in the same way I would choose what to wear and eat. Marriage is rather more important, I would think.
 
severus68 said:
That is not what you spoke of in your initial response to the OP. You said:

"I see nothing wrong with wanting your children to carry on the family race/culture. It’s the way it’s been for millennia, and it’s the reason why we have different races, ethnicities, nationalities, religions and cultures. All these differences make the world interesting.

I like my ethnicity and culture and I would not like to see it bred away for the sake of political correctness or any other reason. But when your kids are grown, as in everything, they will decide for themselves. "

No one is telling you who to marry. BTW, no, I would not choose a marriage partner in the same way I would choose what to wear and eat. Marriage is rather more important, I would think.
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🤷
 
boomerang said:
Ridiculous comparison. Spreading the Good News to save souls hasn’t got squat to do with choosing a marriage partner. Your spouse is your own personal preference, just like what you eat, wear, drive or anything else you do within the confines of your own family.
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Nothing could be further from the truth.

"Finally, Christian spouses, in virtue of the sacrament of Matrimony, whereby they signify and partake of the mystery of that unity and fruitful love which exists between Christ and His Church,(Cf. Eph. 5:32) help each other to attain to holiness in their married life and in the rearing and education of their children. By reason of their state and rank in life they have their own special gift among the people of God.(Cf. 1 Cor. 7, 7) From the wedlock of Christians there comes the family, in which new citizens of human society are born, who by the grace of the Holy Spirit received in baptism are made children of God, thus perpetuating the people of God through the centuries. The family is, so to speak, the domestic church.* In it parents should, by their word and example, be the first preachers of the faith to their children; they should encourage them in the vocation which is proper to each of them, fostering with special care vocation to a sacred state***." Lumen Gentium, Dogmatic Constitution on the Church, 11 (boldface mine)

When we are baptized, for that matter, we don’t not get to hold some spheres of our above and outside what we owe in our service to God. As St. Paul wrote, we are not our own, but have been bought at a price. (1 Cor. 6:19-20)
 
Blackshirtproud said:
I want to preface in saying I do not consider myself racist, bigoted etc. etc. .

My question has to do with if the general consensus would be in being a sinful nature to expect my children to stay within their own race in dating/marriage. Personally I see it as we should try to continue our heritage as best as possible as I have not found reason for otherwise. I don’t know what to think anymore and would like some feedback that is charitable. It seems to me a mixing of cultures could be quite detrimental as would interfaith marriage could be.

anyone?😊
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Whether or not it would be sinful to expect them to stay within their race for marriage would depend on how you go about it. Encouraging them to do so would be fine, as long as you’re open to their decisions. This is not a choice you can make for them and whomever they choose to marry you should support them in their marriage whether or not you agreed with it. The race of the spouse they choose is not a critically important one. It is more important that they share the faith and be compatible.

Generally speaking there is nothing wrong with a desire to continue one’s heritage.

Interfaith marriages can have their obstacles, as can interracial marriages. There are difficulties that children of interracial marriages may have as well. However, they aren’t of paramount importance, and if you tell one of your kids they shouldn’t be with so and so because they are of a different race, you’ve done messed up. You can’t fight love and that is a losing battle. I wouldn’t get involved in their relationships unless you have bigger concerns.
 
If people just simply look for dates, then I think a case can be made to consider the implications of race and racial differences, including on children and the life they’d have.

Otherwise it doesn’t matter. And there’s certainly no obligation to marry within the tribe.
 
I would prefer that my daughters marry Catholic men who love them and who are kind. Beyond that I don’t care if they are white, black, red, green, or blue.
 
As a person of more than one race, I’m rather thankful that I had several ancestors that were cool with marrying outside of their race. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here!

Plus, race isn’t really a real designation, if you look at populations throughout the world, you see there is more or less a color spectrum mostly based on environment. Just look at any makeup aisle in a store and you will see that women of the “same race” need a variety of colors to properly account for everyone in that race, AND women of different races may use the same color as a woman in a supposedly “different” race.
 
Iheartcoffee said:
As a person of more than one race, I’m rather thankful that I had several ancestors that were cool with marrying outside of their race. Otherwise I wouldn’t be here!

Plus, race isn’t really a real designation, if you look at populations throughout the world, you see there is more or less a color spectrum mostly based on environment. Just look at any makeup aisle in a store and you will see that women of the “same race” need a variety of colors to properly account for everyone in that race, AND women of different races may use the same color as a woman in a supposedly “different” race.
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You are right. “Race” is simply a social construction.
 
The color of skin has no bearing. If you have the thinking that you want to preserve family culture, an addition of a different cluture would add, not subtract from your family.

Every culture, race and nationality can be viewed as good or bad, based on who is doing the judging, even yours. So think how you would feel if someone forbid their child to marry into your cuilture or race, based on false stereotypes, or watering down of culture. This is a sin of pride.
 
I’m not sure how marrying someone who is not from your own ethnicity “waters down the heritage.”

Just because your spouse is not of your same ethnicity does not mean you can’t still celebrate your own with ethnic foods, celebrations, etc.

Maybe it’s because I’m from California, where you’d be hard-pressed to find a spouse who shares your exact lineage. Here, most people’s ancestry is from more than one country. I’m pretty sure my own is from more than 8 European countries. Who cares?

I guess I can kind of understand not wanting your child to marry someone from a wildly different culture because it may make life a bit more complicated for your child, and you do not feel he/she is able to deal with it. What I don’t get is wanting to “preserve” the racial/ethnic lineage. But, then again, I never really understood some people’s fixation over where their predecessors came from.
 
Sadly, I think many people are closed off to dating outside their race and even if they do, they won’t go beyond a Hispanic, Asian or Indian person. I know some devout Black women who just aren’t considered as dating options for some Catholic guys because of fear of what others think.
 
Brothers and Sisters. It is truly nice to see the love and compassion in this thread.

But please, please for just one instant…

just replace the word mixed with same-sex…now I truly believe these are EXACTLY the same as far as the love and compassion needed.

People are beginning to realize just how many friends, family and other people they truly care about are gay, and that they are still the same people. Allow them to love and be with whomever they wish. We as a culture are changing, and there is no going back now. Just for one instant, believe truly in the power of love, and that same sex/gay love
may not be the sin/abomination that people believe. Perhaps, just perhaps it is ok and a beautiful thing!

all you need is love.
 
GraceUnderFire said:
Sadly, I think many people are closed off to dating outside their race and even if they do, they won’t go beyond a Hispanic, Asian or Indian person. I know some devout Black women who just aren’t considered as dating options for some Catholic guys because of fear of what others think.
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Interesting. I am so happy to see how many catholics reject racism especially when the faith is the most important thing. It’s sad what you describe. I read that black American woma generally have trouble dating outside their race but not black American men. I don’t know why? but I found a website of black American women who deliberately date white men an are very happy to do so. And some white men posting were pleasantly surprised and say they would date black women if they thought the women were interested but had no idea that so many black women were open to dating white men. bettychambers.com/?p=208

So my question is reverse to the op. Is it ok to chose people of a different race specifically and deliberately or Is that reverse racism or mybe informed by experience/ If you read this article on that website about why these women think that white men are the preferable option for black women in America and the comments of the black women who participate in that discussion, the women give their reasons (summary)
  1. white men are more in numbers than black men bigger dating pool
  2. white men are willing providers
  3. take responsibility if the woman gets pregnant
  4. don’t care about whether the women wear the hair natural or more like Caucasian hair, its up to the woman as long as it is not crazy hair.
  5. once dating a black woman, don’t care about how dark she is because either way she’s black.
  6. black men have high demands for black women, expecting them to be almost perfect, but white men tend to be satisfied with a reasonably attractive well behaved person.
    6)white men appreciate the way these women care for them while men of their own race seem to just expect it.
they are generalities and don’t point out exceptions to wht these women regard as the rule, from their own dating past in their culture. what I got from that article and comments is the general sense that these group of black women are tired of being the men, the providers/protectors in their own families or even for themselves, they want to be he one cared for for a change and have a man responsible for male roles. it makes me sad. many of them talk of absentee fathers and irresponsible boyfriends and dependant mothers.

the discussion is overall positive but i’m wondering if it is reverse racism or racism against their own race? Maybe these women are not racist but just speak from experience or maybe its possible to be racist against your own culture of people, not just others? they also talk of how they are victimized or attacked by others in their group for dating white men and called sell-outs. also sad.
 
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