Mixed race relationship's

[Rau]

… I do believe it is up to me as a parent to approve or disapprove of relationships of my kids.

The basis upon which you approve or disapprove is most important. Preserving racial purity is not ordinarily considered meritorious. Preserving culture is often of little importance to young people; personally, I don’t see it as a basis for disapproving of a future spouse except in circumstances where cultural gap was so wide as to be unlikely to be happily bridged.

The matters you are considering seem largely peripheral to the factors that ought to guide the choice of boyfriend, girlfriend and future spouse.

 

[Rau]

Ok, I want to start over a bit. I was on my about to die cell phone and was trying to keep things brief.

My point in this has to due primarily with culture and in my area of the states it is divided more into racial culture. Not as it would be so much in Europe or Southern Hemisphere Americas. So you would have Asian culture/race, Latin culture/race, black culture /race, white culture/race and so so on. Are we clear on what I am stating?

My town I am in has a heavy Latin culture/race due to meat packing plant. So we more than likely in my town would be talking Latin or Sudanese culture/race that would be first to second generation American citizenship assumption.

My issue is that I do not see a lot of assimilation attempt from these groups and from those that I know in these relationships have pretty much given up one heritage for the other on both sides. This is what I would want to avoid. The same as a non Catholic entering marriage with a Catholic.

This is not an attempt to say race/culture A is bad and race/culture B is superior. We try our hardest to keep our traditions in faith but why is it not acceptable to due so otherwise.

Does this make sense?

Then the issue is prospective compatibility, which has to be judged on an individual by individual basis. You cannot fairly lump all persons of the same race/culture together.

 

[mommy_k]

My quote button is not here today so this is in relpy to the op:

The Catholic/non-Catholic comparison, is not applicable here. But try and look at this in terms of Catholic Culture and tradition.

Even Catholic orders have different traditions- Jesuit, Franciscan, ignatian, and so on. Could you imagine one group not accepting another because of these differences?

Can you imagine a person who was educated in a Jesuit enviornment, telling a potential marriage partner that they cannot marry them because they went to the ignatian school, and because their tradtions and prayer life may be diluted? Don’t you think each would bring the richness of their tradition and prayers to the marriage?

 

[EasterJoy]

Brothers and Sisters. It is truly nice to see the love and compassion in this thread.

But please, please for just one instant…

just replace the word mixed with same-sex…now I truly believe these are EXACTLY the same as far as the love and compassion needed.

People are beginning to realize just how many friends, family and other people they truly care about are gay, and that they are still the same people. Allow them to love and be with whomever they wish. We as a culture are changing, and there is no going back now. Just for one instant, believe truly in the power of love, and that same sex/gay love
may not be the sin/abomination that people believe. Perhaps, just perhaps it is ok and a beautiful thing!

all you need is love.

I am sure your post is well-meaning, but it is a red herring. You are drawing a false analogy.

No one is saying that a loving friendship or mutual care between two people of the same gender has a thing wrong with it. No one is saying that people who have an attraction for their own gender are awful people. The problem with your “analogy” is that people attracted to others of the same sex are not attracted to marriage. Marital sex is in accord with and an expression of the design of male and female bodies to produce children. Homosexual acts indulge the desire for sexual stimulation, but the acts aren’t in accord with how the human body and more specifically sexual faculty are designed. They are inherently off-track.

Homosexual inclinations are like having pica, which is a compulsion to eat non food items such as clay, chalk, dirt, paint, or sand. It doesn’t make you a bad person to have that compulsion, but the fact that you are a person of dignity and worth also does not make chalk into food.

 

[lola5555]

The smartest dogs are mutts, and the most screwed up health-wise dogs are purebreds. The same may go for humans. This is just a thought, so don’t go crazy on it.

I recently took a mixed race nephew camping for his first time, and he was surprisingly agile climbing rocks, and cliffs, and he had nary a complaint the whole time. He did get a bit scared at night because he is a city kid and never saw night so dark, and with all the night noises in the woods, yet he slept deeply and awoke happy and energetic.

Multiracial person here to add my two cents. The term ‘mutt’ is used by some multiracial people and some black people call themselves ‘n@##%r.’ Doesn’t mean it is not highly offensive. One of my coworkers casually referred to another coworker as a mutt. She was hauled into HR and passed over for a promotion since she was then considered unprofessional and emotionally dense. So, just a heads-up.

Multiracial people are not prettier than other people, nor smarter, nor better in any way. Nor are we worse. We are normal. We are like everyone else. Sometimes we rock, sometimes we suck. Totally depends on the person and the moment. Saying we’re prettier or better is not a compliment. It’s yet another way to tell us that we have the permanent status of outsider and other.

Ok, I want to start over a bit. I was on my about to die cell phone and was trying to keep things brief.

My point in this has to due primarily with culture and in my area of the states it is divided more into racial culture. Not as it would be so much in Europe or Southern Hemisphere Americas. So you would have Asian culture/race, Latin culture/race, black culture /race, white culture/race and so so on. Are we clear on what I am stating?

My town I am in has a heavy Latin culture/race due to meat packing plant. So we more than likely in my town would be talking Latin or Sudanese culture/race that would be first to second generation American citizenship assumption.

My issue is that I do not see a lot of assimilation attempt from these groups and from those that I know in these relationships have pretty much given up one heritage for the other on both sides. This is what I would want to avoid. The same as a non Catholic entering marriage with a Catholic.

This is not an attempt to say race/culture A is bad and race/culture B is superior. We try our hardest to keep our traditions in faith but why is it not acceptable to due so otherwise.

Does this make sense?

Here is what a lot of people do not understand about multiracial people-- you can be genetically some percentage of a race, but culturally 100% of that culture. I’m 50% Irish. My mom is Boston Irish Catholic-- meets all the stereotypes except she doesn’t drink and she’s relatively quiet. My mom doesn’t know how to be anything else other than Irish. She raised us with extremely traditional Irish food, Irish ways of thinking, Irish culture. She did not give me 50% of my culture. She did not say, ‘Now wait this one is only half so I’ll take out the potatoes from her stew and ban her from saying any classic Irish phrases. She can wear green on St Patrick’s day, but only her shirt.’ My dad is from Japan…he raised me as Japanese. So what’s the result? My culture is 100% Irish, 100% Japanese, and 100% Native Hawaiian. It may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t make it untrue. Being multiracial does not mean you are watered down. People have the capacity to be more than and do more than ‘one.’ You can like multiple cuisines, speak multiple languages, have multiple friends, love multiple children, enjoy multiple genres of music…and one does not diminish the other.

 

[UnumCorpus]

Multiracial person here to add my two cents. The term ‘mutt’ is used by some multiracial people and some black people call themselves ‘n@##%r.’ Doesn’t mean it is not highly offensive. One of my coworkers casually referred to another coworker as a mutt. She was hauled into HR and passed over for a promotion since she was then considered unprofessional and emotionally dense. So, just a heads-up.

**Multiracial people are not prettier than other people, nor smarter, nor better in any way. Nor are we worse. We are normal. ** We are like everyone else. Sometimes we rock, sometimes we suck. Totally depends on the person and the moment. Saying we’re prettier or better is not a compliment. It’s yet another way to tell us that we have the permanent status of outsider and other.

Here is what a lot of people do not understand about multiracial people-- you can be genetically some percentage of a race, but culturally 100% of that culture. Being multiracial does not mean you are watered down. ** People have the capacity to be more than and do more than ‘one.’ ** You can like multiple cuisines, speak multiple languages, have multiple friends, love multiple children, enjoy multiple genres of music…and one does not diminish the other.

Wonderfully put, Iola5555. Thank you.

 

[pensmama87]

I am sure your post is well-meaning, but it is a red herring. You are drawing a false analogy.

No one is saying that a loving friendship or mutual care between two people of the same gender has a thing wrong with it. No one is saying that people who have an attraction for their own gender are awful people. The problem with your “analogy” is that people attracted to others of the same sex are not attracted to marriage. Marital sex is in accord with and an expression of the design of male and female bodies to produce children. Homosexual acts indulge the desire for sexual stimulation, but the acts aren’t in accord with how the human body and more specifically sexual faculty are designed. They are inherently off-track.

Homosexual inclinations are like having pica, which is a compulsion to eat non food items such as clay, chalk, dirt, paint, or sand. It doesn’t make you a bad person to have that compulsion, but the fact that you are a person of dignity and worth also does not make chalk into food.

Well-stated. I am going to have to remember the comparison to pica. I’ve used alcoholism or other addictions before as an analogy for why homosexual behavior is wrong, but judgmental attitudes towards addicts as people can make it really difficult to get my point across. Pica doesn’t have that attached to it.

 

[lola5555]

Wonderfully put, Iola5555. Thank you.

Thank you

 

[Deus_tecum]

Multiracial person here to add my two cents. The term ‘mutt’ is used by some multiracial people and some black people call themselves ‘n@##%r.’ Doesn’t mean it is not highly offensive. One of my coworkers casually referred to another coworker as a mutt. She was hauled into HR and passed over for a promotion since she was then considered unprofessional and emotionally dense. So, just a heads-up.

People love to be highly offended nowadays. I have heard many American people with mixed European heritage describe themselves with a chuckle as “a mutt”. Many have hardly any idea of their cultural heritage, and often not even the origin of their last name. Anyways I don’t need a “heads up”. I know how oversensitive and petty HR departments are nowadays, but CAF is not an HR dept, and I will neither be demoted nor fired.

 

[lola5555]

People love to be highly offended nowadays. I have heard many American people with mixed European heritage describe themselves with a chuckle as “a mutt”. Many have hardly any idea of their cultural heritage, and often not even the origin of their last name. Anyways I don’t need a “heads up”. I know how oversensitive and petty HR departments are nowadays, but CAF is not an HR dept, and I will neither be demoted nor fired.

Wow, it was seriously meant kindly. I know a lot of people say this about themselves and it sometimes confuses other people. So just in case you…or anyone else reading this thread…had been misinformed, it was a warning that some people will take offense. So speaking of oversensitive and petty…

 

[dconklin]

Since the OP brought up football, I’ll look at his original query like this…

I grew up in South Florida and my family was all Miami Dolphin fans. My dad had season tickets. I fell in love with and married a young lady that had season tickets to the New England Patriots. We now live in North Carolina and are Carolina Panthers fans. As I work for the Catholic Church and am busy on Sundays, no season tickets are involved.

Any problems here?

 

[Estevao]

Well, given that every human being is created in the image and likeness of God, I find it hard to condone preferring one race over another even in romantic matters. I just really fear that a simple preference for one kind of race in romantic relations, if that is affirmed, it could spill over into other areas of life and prevent us from loving our neighbors. Also Pope Benedict has talked on numerous occasions about the immorality of racism. I would surely take those into account.

One can make excuses for racialist relationship attitudes (“other races are racist and xenophobic too!” “I don’t want the white race to die out!” etc), but it just goes back to the whole imago dei in which all humans are created, which I think ought to lead people away from racism (Galatians 3:28). Will there be races with the resurrection bodies? I don’t know. I suppose it might be like asking will there be different heights or physical beauty in our resurrection bodies.

 

[EasterJoy]

Since the OP brought up football, I’ll look at his original query like this…

I grew up in South Florida and my family was all Miami Dolphin fans. My dad had season tickets. I fell in love with and married a young lady that had season tickets to the New England Patriots. We now live in North Carolina and are Carolina Panthers fans. As I work for the Catholic Church and am busy on Sundays, no season tickets are involved.

Any problems here?

As long as you don’t buy tickets to root against the Saints on a Sunday, I suppose the sin is venial at worst…

 

[Setimet]

It seems to me a mixing of cultures could be quite detrimental as would interfaith marriage could be.

I completely understand how this could be awkward for you if you’ve always lived in a environment that disagreed with interracial marriage.

BUT in moments of awkwardness maybe remember that Christ extended salvation to the Gentiles and not just the Jewish Chosen People. (Or “Chosen Race” you could say)

SCIENTIFICALLY, while you may look black or white or Asian or of Spanish or Arabic descent you already are mixed. And quite frankly interracial marriages are excellent for the gene pool!! Unless you want your heritage to be a Hapsburg Jaw

Peace be with you

 

[DaveBj]

I completely understand how this could be awkward for you if you’ve always lived in a environment that disagreed with interracial marriage.

BUT in moments of awkwardness maybe remember that Christ extended salvation to the Gentiles and not just the Jewish Chosen People. (Or “Chosen Race” you could say)

SCIENTIFICALLY, while you may look black or white or Asian or of Spanish or Arabic descent you already are mixed. And quite frankly interracial marriages are excellent for the gene pool!! Unless you want your heritage to be a Hapsburg Jaw

Peace be with you

Interesting article. I had a “Hapsburg Jaw,” albeit without the thick lower lip and oversized tongue. However, modern orthodontics and oral surgery fixed it for me.

 

[Onegin]

Interesting topic and perspectives here.

On some level, I can understand the OP’s question because my parents took the same approach with me (they were born in the early 1940’s). While growing up, my mom occasionally made an offhand comments about how you never see robins sharing nests with blue jays, etc. I knew what she was talking about but didn’t think much of it at the time. Interracial relationships were still fairly uncommon, even during my childhood. We didn’t travel very much, and the whole world wide web concept hadn’t yet taken off.

Ultimately, what we teach our children is often a byproduct of what we have been taught as children. In my mother’s childhood, her neighbourhood was segregated between European heritages, Polish, Irish, etc and interracial relationships were rare if practically nonexistent.

Times, however, have changed and we now have the opportunity (more than our parents did!) to meet and socialize with people from all different backgrounds, religions and races. Our neighborhoods are not segregated and we have the unique benefit of meeting a wider and more diverse group of people on an everyday basis. International travel was once a rare luxury and is now becoming more common. Aided by these cultural changes and breaking down many of the stigmas and barriers associated with the “non-typical”, families are beginning to look very different from how they did in the 1950’s, which I think is a natural (and normal!) progression.

In my own family, this shift could not be more true. In the past decade, we have welcomed new family members from several different races and cultures. Because of this, our family has grown in ways that I could not imagine. My own significant other is from another country and our parents have, for the first time, been able to use technology to connect halfway around the world, where they would have never contemplated doing so in the past. My mother has often happily commented that our family is becoming “truly international”, she no longer makes comments about robins and blue jays.

I’m glad I was able to be born as part of this generation, it is an exciting time.

 

[AClaire11]

Multiracial person here to add my two cents. The term ‘mutt’ is used by some multiracial people and some black people call themselves ‘n@##%r.’ Doesn’t mean it is not highly offensive. One of my coworkers casually referred to another coworker as a mutt. She was hauled into HR and passed over for a promotion since she was then considered unprofessional and emotionally dense. So, just a heads-up.

**Multiracial people are not prettier than other people, nor smarter, nor better in any way. Nor are we worse. We are normal. We are like everyone else. Sometimes we rock, sometimes we suck. Totally depends on the person and the moment. Saying we’re prettier or better is not a compliment. It’s yet another way to tell us that we have the permanent status of outsider and other.
**

Here is what a lot of people do not understand about multiracial people-- you can be genetically some percentage of a race, but culturally 100% of that culture. I’m 50% Irish. My mom is Boston Irish Catholic-- meets all the stereotypes except she doesn’t drink and she’s relatively quiet. My mom doesn’t know how to be anything else other than Irish. She raised us with extremely traditional Irish food, Irish ways of thinking, Irish culture. She did not give me 50% of my culture. She did not say, ‘Now wait this one is only half so I’ll take out the potatoes from her stew and ban her from saying any classic Irish phrases. She can wear green on St Patrick’s day, but only her shirt.’ My dad is from Japan…he raised me as Japanese. So what’s the result? My culture is 100% Irish, 100% Japanese, and 100% Native Hawaiian. It may not make sense to you, but it doesn’t make it untrue. Being multiracial does not mean you are watered down. People have the capacity to be more than and do more than ‘one.’ You can like multiple cuisines, speak multiple languages, have multiple friends, love multiple children, enjoy multiple genres of music…and one does not diminish the other.

Thank you for your post. It always puts me off when people say that mixed children are more beautiful, smarter, etc. That’s insulting to single-raced (?) individuals of all races, and is one of those still-harmful positive stereotypes.

Also, I’d like to point out that “mutt” dogs are healthier because dogs have been severely inbred for many, many generations, to the point where many of them suffer from awful health problems as a direct result. Hybrid vigor (which is only a theory) does not apply to humans to nearly the same extent, if at all, with the possible exceptions of very isolated tribal societies. Iceland and Japan, for example, are very homogeneous societies, and they do not have rampant health issues. This blog (by a mixed Chinese and European man) explains the science pretty well: choptensils.wordpress.com/2010/02/28/mixed-kids-are-not-prettier-blowing-up-hybrid-vigor/
I don’t want to get caught up in this argument, but comments like this just really irk me.

ETA: I mean, honestly. “Don’t you want to have beautiful grandchildren?” Are you implying that his grandchildren WON’T be beautiful unless they’re mixed? Is everyone that’s not mixed ugly now? That is beyond rude, and racist on a number of levels (which the blog explains).

 

[Thinking10]

Just a thought a thought mixed race relationships.

As people, we can relate best to people with whom we have the most in common. This starts with our family, and family bonds. This ability to relate extend next to more distant relatives, and then people of the same ethnicity. When a person is of one specific ethnicity, he can identify as a member of that ethnic group and its culture. With mixed race people, they are not specifically of one race or another, let alone ethnicity, and this can deprive them of the ability to see themselves a member of any specific ethnic group.

I am not of mixed race, but I am a mixture of a number of ethnicities from Eastern and Western Europe. This actually causes me a little bit of self doubt. I have always felt close to my Western European half of the family, but felt that the East European half was distant somehow… I just didn’t feel like I belonged in the Eastern half, or that I wanted to belong. Before I was old enough to know what races and ethnicities were, I just always felt that there was something different about the two sides of my family. I physically resemble relatives on my West European half of the family more than the Eastern half, or so I am told, and I am perfectly happy being close with the Western European side. However, I feel just a bit of self doubt about my place in the Western European family when I see the strong differences in character between the two sides of my family… Sometimes I think would feel more comfortable with myself if I were of strictly Western European ( for example, British or German) descent.

 

[Lost_Wanderer]

Sometimes I think would feel more comfortable with myself if I were of strictly Western European ( for example, British or German) descent.

Catholicism 101 would tell you that you’re the Almighty’s creation. That alone should be enough reason to be comfortable with yourself.

Take it from someone who is mixed Asian, mixed European, and with a heavily Americanized upbringing.

 

[GraceUnderFire]

Interesting. I am so happy to see how many catholics reject racism especially when the faith is the most important thing. It’s sad what you describe. I read that black American woma generally have trouble dating outside their race but not black American men. I don’t know why? but I found a website of black American women who deliberately date white men an are very happy to do so. And some white men posting were pleasantly surprised and say they would date black women if they thought the women were interested but had no idea that so many black women were open to dating white men. bettychambers.com/?p=208

So my question is reverse to the op. Is it ok to chose people of a different race specifically and deliberately or Is that reverse racism or mybe informed by experience/ If you read this article on that website about why these women think that white men are the preferable option for black women in America and the comments of the black women who participate in that discussion, the women give their reasons (summary)

1. white men are more in numbers than black men bigger dating pool
2. white men are willing providers
3. take responsibility if the woman gets pregnant
4. don’t care about whether the women wear the hair natural or more like Caucasian hair, its up to the woman as long as it is not crazy hair.
5. once dating a black woman, don’t care about how dark she is because either way she’s black.
6. black men have high demands for black women, expecting them to be almost perfect, but white men tend to be satisfied with a reasonably attractive well behaved person.
   6)white men appreciate the way these women care for them while men of their own race seem to just expect it.

they are generalities and don’t point out exceptions to wht these women regard as the rule, from their own dating past in their culture. what I got from that article and comments is the general sense that these group of black women are tired of being the men, the providers/protectors in their own families or even for themselves, they want to be he one cared for for a change and have a man responsible for male roles. it makes me sad. many of them talk of absentee fathers and irresponsible boyfriends and dependant mothers.

the discussion is overall positive but i’m wondering if it is reverse racism or racism against their own race? Maybe these women are not racist but just speak from experience or maybe its possible to be racist against your own culture of people, not just others? they also talk of how they are victimized or attacked by others in their group for dating white men and called sell-outs. also sad.

I think it’s a new concept for a lot of black women to date interracially but it’s good that more black women are embracing it. I don’t think it’s “reverse racism” to date men who are open to dating you (even if they are not your own race). My point is that especially among practicing Catholics, there tends to be an air of conservatism and fear stepping out with someone of another race. I’m not saying people should date people that they aren’t compatible with or attracted to, and to be honest, I don’t think it IS an issue of compatibility or attraction. I think most conservative white men are simply not open to it and they won’t take the opportunity to get to know if they have anything in common with these women. (Liberal white men are another story. . .but incompatibility in moral beliefs is a HUGE deal-breaker.) Even beyond dating, I find that there is still segregation in general in terms of socialization. Unfortunately, people tend to stick with their own “kind” which leads to missed opportunities.