Modest swimwear as an example for my daughter

[Serap]

The last person I turned down with that question was a personal friend and a professional dancer with a troupe out of L.A. The education of the next generation is one’s biggest opportunity to change the world, and I must get back to it.
Sorry. Blessings!

P.S.
If you are a fashion diva… my favorite designer of all time was Madeline Vionnet, the greatest master of bias draping who ever lived. You might care to check out her work sometime; it is in all the museums, and it doesn’t get any better than that.

Wow Fomer Catholic…who knew that you had this talent

 

[dixieagle]

But what I am trying to understand is how do you know what is necessary and what is very modest?
How do we as catholics and as women created in the image and likeness of God go about finding out what God believes is very modest? Then how do we reflect this in our actions.

It might just be me, but I don’t think that God spends much of His time concerned with the nuances of female swim fashions. Sometimes, we’ve just got to use our own good, common sense and not overthink.

 

[dixieagle]

I’m not surprised, though a bit saddened, at some of the massively over the top posts in this thread and I’m looking at you former Catholic and you simple soul. The latter’s posts are more troubling to me since that poster seems to assume that she knows exactly what God wants as far as modesty goes despite him not whispering it in her ear, and we’re all wrong.

Would I want my daughter, 12-13 years from now (she’s 1) wearing ridiculously inappropriate swimwear? No. Would I allow her to wear tiny bikinis and all of that? Not a chance. But are there commercial one piece and two piece suits that cover up enough to be modest but feminine, practical and allow for tanning? Sure and the OP found a good one.

I don’t want my daughter, or my wife for that matter, to be objectified. And I don’t want them wearing something that shows a lack of respect for their bodies. But I also don’t want them to be wearing stuff that makes them feel like they need to be super covered lest they tempt men into sin. That’s a terrible mindset to have. We have these bodies as a gift from God. We’re supposed to keep them healthy and respect them, but we are also not to be ashamed of them nor are we supposed to be in constant worry that we’re going to make someone else sin unless we wear shapeless clothing.

Men are always going to look, no matter what you’re wearing. And that’s not because we’re all leering perverts or anything like that, but because we’re visual creatures, much moreso than women. Just stay away from thongs or anything else that blasts “NOTICE HOW LITTLE I’M WEARING” and you’re fine. Ladies, it’s up to us men to act like gentlemen and not dwell on lustful thoughts which are going to pop up no matter what you’re wearing.

:clapping:

 

[simple_soul]

I
From the Catechism:

2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.

2521 Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves toward them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.
2522 Modesty protects the mystery of persons and their love. It encourages patience and moderation in loving relationships; it requires that the conditions for the definitive giving and commitment of man and woman to one another be fulfilled. Modesty is decency. It inspires one’s choice of clothing. It keeps silence or reserve where there is evident risk of unhealthy curiosity. It is discreet.

2523 There is a modesty of the feelings as well as of the body. It protests, for example, against the voyeuristic explorations of the human body in certain advertisements, or against the solicitations of certain media that go too far in the exhibition of intimate things. Modesty inspires a way of life which makes it possible to resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies.

2524 The forms taken by modesty vary from one culture to another. Everywhere, however, modesty exists as an intuition of the spiritual dignity proper to man. It is born with the awakening consciousness of being a subject. Teaching modesty to children and adolescents means awakening in them respect for the human person.

2525 Christian purity requires a purification of the social climate. It requires of the communications media that their presentations show concern for respect and restraint. Purity of heart brings freedom from widespread eroticism and avoids entertainment inclined to voyeurism and illusion.

2526 So called moral permissiveness rests on an erroneous conception of human freedom; the necessary precondition for the development of true freedom is to let oneself be educated in the moral law. Those in charge of education can reasonably be expected to give young people instruction respectful of the truth, the qualities of the heart, and the moral and spiritual dignity of man.

So if I am reading this correctly…
Modesty should conform to our dignity and our individual solidarity and must respect the human person. It must resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies. It should be respectful of Truth, and qualities of the heart, and the moral and spiritual dignity of man. It should not be based on an erroneous conception of human freedom.

 

[rayne89]

I may be wrong about this, but I know at least I am taking exception to some of the words you are using, such as “we”, “us” and so on as you ponder about modesty and the current topic in this thread. I really don’t want YOU deciding for ME what is appropriate for ME to wear to be modest. It is right to ponder and discern, but you may have a total different definition of modesty than I do and I wouldn’t want to impose my definition of modesty on you anymore than I would want you to impose your definition on me.

I do think we can all agree on the basic components of modest, to cover our butts and our bust lines, but after that, it can get tricky and people can be offended.

While Simple Souls choice of swim wear would not be mine ( I wear a one piece with a skirt from Lands End) the kind of language your are using in this post sounds an awful lot like the morally relative language many “liberal” people use when discussing topics of disagreement. Interject a different common topic of disagreement between the Catholic church and those that oppose certain teachings and you can see what I’m getting at. ( I really don’t want YOU deciding for ME what is appropriate for ME…) Which, not at all trying to attack you, makes me a bit uncomfortable.

I think Simple Soul is being genuine with her inquiry but I also think it may be time to start a separate thread on what constitutes modesty. I think there can be extremes, and what constitutes modestly may also change according what cultural norms. Such as tribal people in jungle areas don’t dress in a way we would consider very immodest to be “sexy”.

But generally I believe Simple Soul is right in trying to discern what God considers modest compared to what we personally may consider modest. And how many of us wear certain bathing suits more to hide the weight we’ve gained rather then truly for modesty. I know I am guilty of that. Although I have never been comfortable in a bikini even as a size 7 rebellious teen who was breaking plenty of commandments. So that was/is more personal modesty than seeking God’s will. Just some thoughts…

 

[simple_soul]

One simple suggestion: Don’t over think it. Seriously. Religious contemplation is better spent on trying to do something impossible like understand the Holy Spirit. Contemplating THAT to grow more in awe of God is good. Spending your time contemplating what lengths you need to go to be modest on the beach is a waste.

Just go with your gut. Thongs, g-strings and other things that leave zero to the imagination and are worn to draw lustful attention? Yeah, that’s over the line. Standard one and two piece suits that are worn for comfort, for tanning and blend in with everyone else? That’s probably just fine.

*I believe I may have not been very clear with what I am trying to say or understand more clearly.
What I am trying to understand is more than just what lengths I need to go to to be modest.
I am trying to understand why we should be modest in the first place.

If I were to “just go with my gut” I would have to look at what the church teaches.
It is my understanding that the church teaches women to base our decisions on the dignity of women. So I ask myself what is that and how do I respect?
As a woman created in God’s image and likeness I believe it is my FEMININITY that dignifies me because it is my femininity that is made in God’s image and likeness.
This so humbles me. To understand that God dignified me by making me in His image and likeness. Now how do I cherish and respect this great gift that He has giving to me? The best way that I can come up with is to not base my actions in how I care for myself, through my words or actions, in any way that would disrespect what it is that dignifies me.

If I take my FEMININITY to mean that I am sexy, cute, fashionable, and subjected to change with the tide of culture I believe I would be reducing my FEMININITY to things of this world.
If I take my FEMININITY to mean that I am mothering, nurturing, caring, loving, passive in nature, and helping God in creation by bearing children and birthing them into this world. I would be enhancing my femininity to reflect God and His image and likeness. Since God is eternity then these things reflect those things of the next world.
This is why I try to choose clothes that most definitely will respect very clearly in my mind the dignity of having been made in the image and likeness of God as a woman with all of my feminine qualities that He made in His image and likeness.

I believe it was blessed Imelda that said, “We are like little tabernacles. We all have God in us.”

I believe we need to start basing our choices of dress always aware that we are dressing something that was made in God’s image and likeness and have our clothes respect this. This is were I believe modesty and chastity come into play but we have to be well grounded in morality. I believe modesty rooted in morality, through our actions and words, needs to reflect our dignity of being made in God’s image and likeness.

I get that our culture is oversexed and so we all want to avoid just going along with the cultural flow. Trust me, I get that. But something like what the OP posted is modern and stylish enough to draw little attention, be comfortable and be modest. Stuff like “long swim skirts” or homemade bodysuits is going to draw negative attention, maybe not lustfully but it will still draw negative attention and lead to people outright dismissing the folks that wear such things as religious lunatics. And that is detrimental to the mission of bringing the word to everyone; yes, stand up on principle and be modest! But do it in a very subtle way, like the OP did, instead of loudly proclaiming it with weird things.

*I believe that it is not about being labeled as religious lunatics or trying not to step on anyones toes by being subtle. It is about doing what God wants us to do.

I hope and pray you understand that I am not just trying to understand modesty. I am trying to understand my humanity and it’s special nature of being feminine and how my choices in this life should reflect the dignity of it. I am not saying that anything I have written is absolute truth. This is just how I understand it so far…and hopefully I will keep conforming myself to God’s Truth as I understand it more clearly.

OK, that is from my gut.

I hope and pray it makes some sense.*

 

[cutiesmak]

I love these swimsuits:
limericki.com/

Good for those who are somewhere in between the swimskirt camp and the bikini camp. I would love to wear more modest swimwear, but DH likes me to show more skin. What am I gonna do with this guy??

 

[rmbrulotte]

I love these swimsuits:
limericki.com/

Good for those who are somewhere in between the swimskirt camp and the bikini camp. I would love to wear more modest swimwear, but DH likes me to show more skin. What am I gonna do with this guy??

They have some pretty cute items. I have looked at their site for years now, but never bought, for some reason. Maybe this is the year to do it. I am always worried about tankinis because when I try them on, they make my waist look huge, and my waist is actually quite small in comparison to the rest of my body.

And as a P.S. to everyone here, I asked a 21 year old male co-worker today (non-religious) about what he thought of women’s bathing suits. He first said he thought that one-pieces are weird, (!!!) so I asked him what he would think if I showed up to a swim party that he was also attending and walked up to him wearing a bikini. This, of course, left him speechless and embarrassed (duh). I then asked him if he would allow his future daughter to wear a bikini and he said “no way!”

 

[Ponyguy]

I love these swimsuits:
limericki.com/

Good for those who are somewhere in between the swimskirt camp and the bikini camp. I would love to wear more modest swimwear, but DH likes me to show more skin. What am I gonna do with this guy??

Love the dickens out of him, and then get down on your knees and fervently thank the Good Lord for a guy who appreciates the finer things in life!
That guy is PROUD of his pretty wife, and likes to show her off!

(Then open the Coppertone and ask him to rub it on your shoulders so you get that lovely tan he wants you to have. )

 

[psr13]

Love the dickens out of him, and then get down on your knees and fervently thank the Good Lord for a guy who appreciates the finer things in life!
That guy is PROUD of his pretty wife, and likes to show her off!

(Then open the Coppertone and ask him to rub it on your shoulders so you get that lovely tan he wants you to have. )

Ummmm, my husband is very proud of me, too. However, he doesn’t want other guys looking at my body.

Anyway, I know that hardly anyone has the same modestly guidelines that my husband and I have. I’m OK with that. In this thread I just didn’t like some of the terms being used because they did take me back. It is very nice, though, to see the OP want to wear more modest suits than a bikini. I applaud her for that.

There is one more thing I think needs to be said. All of the people saying that bathing suits give them great tans seem to be forgetting about skin cancer. A tan is not healthy nor beautiful. It is extremely unhealthy and shouldn’t be pretty at all as it is a bad sign health wise. I’m pale and darn proud to be pale. I try to stay pale. This is the color God gave me, and I don’t want to ruin it and go and get skin cancer.

 

[Serap]

I just wanted to add in response to someone’s post that I DO still have a bikini body, so my swimdress is not to hide any stretchmarks or flab. I can still wear a bikini and look great in it, but lately I’ve been wondering if it’s really necessary.

I have been blessed with a beautiful body, but it doesn’t mean that I can go out and flaunt it b/c I have it.

The swimdresses are cute and gorgeous b/c they will still make me look pretty and I won’t stand out like a sore thumb.

I think this will set a good example for my DD and DS for that matter (once he’s a bit older).

 

[Serap]

I love these swimsuits:
limericki.com/

Good for those who are somewhere in between the swimskirt camp and the bikini camp. I would love to wear more modest swimwear, but DH likes me to show more skin. What am I gonna do with this guy??

Those are adorable!!!

 

[rmbrulotte]

So if I am reading this correctly…
Modesty should conform to our dignity and our individual solidarity and must respect the human person. It must resist the allurements of fashion and the pressures of prevailing ideologies. It should be respectful of Truth, and qualities of the heart, and the moral and spiritual dignity of man. It should not be based on an erroneous conception of human freedom.

Yes, modesty should conform to your dignity, but it DOES NOT have to resist the “allurement” of fashion as long as that fashion conforms to your dignity. There are plenty of fashionable choices, even in our culture, that are dignified. There is no need to dress in an unattractive, unfashionable manner to achieve modesty.

 

[rmbrulotte]

Ummmm, my husband is very proud of me, too. However, he doesn’t want other guys looking at my body.

Anyway, I know that hardly anyone has the same modestly guidelines that my husband and I have. I’m OK with that. In this thread I just didn’t like some of the terms being used because they did take me back. It is very nice, though, to see the OP want to wear more modest suits than a bikini. I applaud her for that.

There is one more thing I think needs to be said. All of the people saying that bathing suits give them great tans seem to be forgetting about skin cancer. A tan is not healthy nor beautiful. It is extremely unhealthy and shouldn’t be pretty at all as it is a bad sign health wise. I’m pale and darn proud to be pale. I try to stay pale. This is the color God gave me, and I don’t want to ruin it and go and get skin cancer.

Do you realize that you are portraying yourself as a condescending, self-righteous woman? First of all, you appear to have the opinion that you and your husband are of higher moral stripe than most people on this thread. After that you go on to lecture people about skin cancer. I feel the same way you do about tanning, but if people want a tan, it isn’t my business to lecture them about skin cancer. The people on this thread are literate adults and most certainly know the dangers of the sun but have decided that the benefits outweigh the risks for them.

Oh yeah, and when I wear my swimsuit, I stay under an umbrella and/or wear sunscreen. I happen to enjoy swimming with my kids and family, and am convinced that God takes joy in that.

 

[Serap]

Do you realize that you are portraying yourself as a condescending, self-righteous woman? First of all, you appear to have the opinion that you and your husband are of higher moral stripe than most people on this thread. After that you go on to lecture people about skin cancer. I feel the same way you do about tanning, but if people want a tan, it isn’t my business to lecture them about skin cancer. The people on this thread are literate adults and most certainly know the dangers of the sun but have decided that the benefits outweigh the risks for them.

Oh yeah, and when I wear my swimsuit, I stay under an umbrella and/or wear sunscreen. I happen to enjoy swimming with my kids and family, and am convinced that God takes joy in that.

I’ve been on this forum for 2 years now and PSR tends to come across that way, but I don’t think she means to. Sometimes the internet doesn’t always come across with good bedside manners.

Some people have nice olive skin and skin cancer is not a big risk for them b/c they get a nice tan and then their skin is protecting from future burning and cancers.

I am a huge cancer risk b/c I’m fair, so I do have to be careful and slather the sunscreen.

 

[mommamia]

Lets not forget that Vitamin D, gotten from the sun is an excellent cancer preventative. Of course burning is always bad, but very moderate sunbathing is actually a healthy thing.

But, I like Serap’s bathing suits. They are in our culture and society, quite modest yet still cute. They are not likely to call undue attention, they don’t scream “hey look at my body”. That is the definition of modesty. There is not really any reason to over think this issue, the definition of modest is clear.

 

[Ponyguy]

Ummmm, my husband is very proud of me, too. However, he doesn’t want other guys looking at my body.

I like to show off my wife, and she’s pleased that I do. She says it shows that I appreciate the care she takes of herself and the effort she expends in choosing her clothing styles, hair styling and personal grooming. I believe that a man ought to be proud of his wife, and in turn, she should be grateful for him. Of course, I’m not showing off any nude bits of her body, though; but a nice swim suit that makes her stand out appropriately is fine.

When I take her out to dinner, to a show, to church, or wherever, and she’s dressed up in her nice clothes, I’m proud that such a pretty woman is holding MY arm; “Look at the lady you don’t have on your arm, gentlemen!”

I’m proud of my hobby car that I take of so well, and I like to show it off to others; I’m proud of what my children and grandchildren accomplish; why shouldn’t I show off my most prized possession as well?

 

[Serap]

I like to show off my wife, and she’s pleased that I do. She says it shows that I appreciate the care she takes of herself and the effort she expends in choosing her clothing styles, hair styling and personal grooming. I believe that a man ought to be proud of his wife, and in turn, she should be grateful for him. Of course, I’m not showing off any nude bits of her body, though; but a nice swim suit that makes her stand out appropriately is fine.

When I take her out to dinner, to a show, to church, or wherever, and she’s dressed up in her nice clothes, I’m proud that such a pretty woman is holding MY arm; “Look at the lady you don’t have on your arm, gentlemen!”

I’m proud of my hobby car that I take of so well, and I like to show it off to others; I’m proud of what my children and grandchildren accomplish; why shouldn’t I show off my most prized possession as well?

I think what you mean is that your wife is pretty and feminine looking without being a “ho”

My husband feels the same way as you, but he likes me to dress feminine and pretty without the major cleavage, high heals and short short skirts. He also wouldn’t like my pants to be so tight that there is nothing left to the imagination

I think you are getting at the same things. I want to clarify for you before you get attacked

 

[simple_soul]

Yes, modesty should conform to your dignity, but it DOES NOT have to resist the “allurement” of fashion as long as that fashion conforms to your dignity. There are plenty of fashionable choices, even in our culture, that are dignified. There is no need to dress in an unattractive, unfashionable manner to achieve modesty.

*I agree that there are fashions out there that conform to my dignity and they are not unattractive or unfashinable. If what I choose to wear conforms to my dignity as a woman and it happens to be fashionable and attractive then it is. But I do not believe I should base my choice on what is fashinonable and attractive.
*

 

[simple_soul]

I like to show off my wife, and she’s pleased that I do. She says it shows that I appreciate the care she takes of herself and the effort she expends in choosing her clothing styles, hair styling and personal grooming. I believe that a man ought to be proud of his wife, and in turn, she should be grateful for him. Of course, I’m not showing off any nude bits of her body, though; but a nice swim suit that makes her stand out appropriately is fine.

When I take her out to dinner, to a show, to church, or wherever, and she’s dressed up in her nice clothes, I’m proud that such a pretty woman is holding MY arm; “Look at the lady you don’t have on your arm, gentlemen!”

I’m proud of my hobby car that I take of so well, and I like to show it off to others; I’m proud of what my children and grandchildren accomplish; why shouldn’t I show off my most prized possession as well?

*Ohh Ponyguy,

You sound so much like my husband.
Your wife and I are very blessed to have the husbands that we do.

God bless*