Modest Swimwear

[Galbin]

Because people has to be careful about not inciting lust on others, both men and women.

I agree that a married man who lusts over another woman is cheating, yes.

However, I don’t agree with the whole ‘inciting lust’ thing. As I mentioned earlier, some man with his kids and wife was clearly lusting after me yesterday, yet the only parts of my body exposed were my face, hands and neck!! My God given bodyshape is what society deems attractive, so it seems like some men will lust anyway. To be honest, in my three decades on the planet I have learned that the types of men who leer will leer no matter what a woman wears. It is only when a woman wears an overtly sexual outfit that nice men will stare, i.e. a low cut top.

 

[CesarAugustus]

I agree that a married man who lusts over another woman is cheating, yes.

However, I don’t agree with the whole ‘inciting lust’ thing. As I mentioned earlier, some man with his kids and wife was clearly lusting after me yesterday, yet the only parts of my body exposed were my face, hands and neck!! My God given bodyshape is what society deems attractive, so it seems like some men will lust anyway. To be honest, in my three decades on the planet I have learned that the types of men who leer will leer no matter what a woman wears. It is only when a woman wears an overtly sexual outfit that nice men will stare, i.e. a low cut top.

If you are dressing modestly and some man still lusts… is his fault, not yours.

Because some people are lusting after modestly dressed women, it doesn’t justify people who dress immodestly.

And not only a married man is doing something wrong when lusting after a woman. An unmarried man would be sinning too doing the same.

 

[Baby_Bach]

I personally prefer to wear tankini’s with swim shorts, and that really is the most I ever show in public. Modesty to me is a virtue we should follow as Catholic’s. How can we be an example if we as Catholic’s don’t do this? It’d be nice to just go to the store and buy whatever, we have free will, so we can choose to do that if we want to. However, a women should have a certain respect for her own body, by following Mary-like standards, which is modesty in dress. We do not need to go to the extreme and wear clothing like that birkini thing, and I personally don’t prefer the OP one either, but there is something to be said for coverage of ones body.

 

[Bluesprite333]

Hi there! How about this site - it offers a ton of swimsuit options - and if you need a special size or bra size, you can shop according to that and get a good fit!

I recommend reading the reviews on the suits though…sometimes the cup size runs a bit small or what not and the reviews may give you more info. But a site like this, I believe you can email the company re: questions.

HTH!

herroom.com/one-piece-swimsuits,swimwear,1779,032,10.html

Also like others mentioned, there is Land’s End, LL Bean, Eddie Bauer and Athletica for some other options.

 

[Joie_de_Vivre]

Opinion. I was a competitive swimmer for years and don’t see a difference.

See the LZR Racer.

 

[Guernica]

Heck, perhaps some of us ladies would feel best in a short-sleeved, short-legged wetsuit, which would be modest, and offer a lot of sun protection:

amazon.com/Storm-Womens-2mm-Shorty-Size/dp/B001R3N8P8/ref=sr_1_3?s=boating-water-sports&ie=UTF8&qid=1395552814&sr=1-3&keywords=women

While looking sleek and cute, too!

 

[Tiffany10]

There are lot of things available if you look,

 

[Allegra]

Heck, perhaps some of us ladies would feel best in a short-sleeved, short-legged wetsuit, which would be modest, and offer a lot of sun protection:

amazon.com/Storm-Womens-2mm-Shorty-Size/dp/B001R3N8P8/ref=sr_1_3?s=boating-water-sports&ie=UTF8&qid=1395552814&sr=1-3&keywords=women

While looking sleek and cute, too!

The only problem with that is getting it on and off to use the restroom.

 

[Galbin]

If you are dressing modestly and some man still lusts… is his fault, not yours.

Because some people are lusting after modestly dressed women, it doesn’t justify people who dress immodestly.

And not only a married man is doing something wrong when lusting after a woman. An unmarried man would be sinning too doing the same.

Well, that is not strictly true. A man must have a sexual attraction towards a woman in order to marry her. Otherwise, the conditions of marriage would not exist. So I suppose you mean inappropriate lust. In that case, the man’s lust was completely inappropriate as he was not my spouse, we were not in the marriage bed and he was clearly married to someone else!

 

[Baby_Bach]

Well, that is not strictly true. A man must have a sexual attraction towards a woman in order to marry her. Otherwise, the conditions of marriage would not exist. So I suppose you mean inappropriate lust. In that case, the man’s lust was completely inappropriate as he was not my spouse, we were not in the marriage bed and he was clearly married to someone else!

While it is true for a man to marry he must be attracted to a woman sexually. However, lust is one of the 7 deadly sins. There is no such thing as appropriate lust. A man can have sexual attraction to a woman, but that doesn’t mean it is lustful. Per CCC 2351 lust is a “disordered desire for or inordinate enjoyment of sexual pleasure. Sexual pleasure is morally disordered when sought for itself, isolated from its procreative and unitive purposes.” A man can/should love his wife and have sexual attraction without lusting after her.

 

[CesarAugustus]

Well, that is not strictly true. A man must have a sexual attraction towards a woman in order to marry her. Otherwise, the conditions of marriage would not exist. So I suppose you mean inappropriate lust. In that case, the man’s lust was completely inappropriate as he was not my spouse, we were not in the marriage bed and he was clearly married to someone else!

Baby Bach has explained it well. Sexual attraction is different from lust.

 

[Galbin]

I still think there is a fine line between lust and sexual attraction. Surely one is meant to feel lust towards their spouse. Could someone point me to any literature on this topic?

 

[The_Bucket]

P.S. I don’t think bikinis are appropiated. Being near a body of water makes wearing underwear-like clothing in public suddenly appropiated?

So… I need to wear something other than shorts when I go swimming? Because I’m not a briefs guy. As has been repeatedly pointed out here and elsewhere, modesty of dress is subjective, while modesty of the heart is not. Modesty of dress is dependent on culture, modest of the heart remains constant regardless of culture.

This is not to excuse people, men or women, who are intentionally trying to show off the goods to get attention. But I do find it interesting that when say, an attractive woman wears a two piece bathing suit, it’s generally seen showing off. When a less attractive woman does that, it’s no big deal. Again, typically. So when a good looking guy wears a speedo… also showing off. A fat, bald dude from Europe does that, it’s just “gross” or whatever.

I’m sure plenty of people would say that I should wear more than shorts when swimming since I’m kind of out of shape compared to my college days. But that’s a different story, yes? Don’t see why I can wear “underwear-like clothing” but it’s inappropriate for a woman to wear a two-piece that doesn’t cover the middle.

Just ask yourself: “Am I trying to get attention or comments or even trying to allure members of the opposite sex in a provocative way?” Yes? Maybe not a good idea to wear that. No? Go ahead. The only one who knows if you’re lying to yourself about your intentions is God.

 

[Galbin]

So… I need to wear something other than shorts when I go swimming? Because I’m not a briefs guy. As has been repeatedly pointed out here and elsewhere, modesty of dress is subjective, while modesty of the heart is not. Modesty of dress is dependent on culture, modest of the heart remains constant regardless of culture.

This is not to excuse people, men or women, who are intentionally trying to show off the goods to get attention. But I do find it interesting that when say, an attractive woman wears a two piece bathing suit, it’s generally seen showing off. When a less attractive woman does that, it’s no big deal. Again, typically. So when a good looking guy wears a speedo… also showing off. A fat, bald dude from Europe does that, it’s just “gross” or whatever.

I’m sure plenty of people would say that I should wear more than shorts when swimming since I’m kind of out of shape compared to my college days. But that’s a different story, yes? Don’t see why I can wear “underwear-like clothing” but it’s inappropriate for a woman to wear a two-piece that doesn’t cover the middle.

Just ask yourself: “Am I trying to get attention or comments or even trying to allure members of the opposite sex in a provocative way?” Yes? Maybe not a good idea to wear that. No? Go ahead. The only one who knows if you’re lying to yourself about your intentions is God.

Exactly! There is a massive difference between me wearing a regular bikini that covers my breasts and buttocks properly, and my wearing a skimpy one that barely covers my skin.

 

[The_Bucket]

I still think there is a fine line between lust and sexual attraction. Surely one is meant to feel lust towards their spouse. Could someone point me to any literature on this topic?

We are never meant to feel lust towards our spouses. Desire? Yes. Strong desire? Yes! But never lust. Lust is about me, whereas desire is about “us.” Lust is my wanting to use someone for pleasure without regard for that other person. It’s about objectification.

Objectification and lust is way more than simply thinking “dang, babe, you are looking hot” or “Um… we need to go to a private room right now.” It’s about denying the fact that the other person is, well, a person, and is simply an instrument for your pleasure be it physical or simply looking. It strips away the dignity of the other.

Sexual attraction is normal and desire for one’s spouse is good. Lust is not because lust is inherently selfish and it is greatly damaging to relationships.

 

[The_Bucket]

Exactly! There is a massive difference between me wearing a regular bikini that covers my breasts and buttocks properly, and my wearing a skimpy one that barely covers my skin.

And there’s a difference between you wearing that in the US or South America… and doing that in the Middle East.

 

[Galbin]

Are there any writings on this topic? I know pornography is lust for example, but I still find this a hard concept to grasp.

Thanks!

 

[Galbin]

And there’s a difference between you wearing that in the US or South America… and doing that in the Middle East.

Yep. My time in the Middle East is actually what makes me so against women being made to feel they must cover themselves completely. I was there in 100F heat and saw ‘men’ stroll around in t-shirts and shorts, while their poor wives were clad in barquas. All of this so as to avoid other men’s lust. Whereas I like the fact that the Catholic Church calls men out on that, and tells them that they are responsible for their own sexuality, as are women.

 

[CesarAugustus]

So… I need to wear something other than shorts when I go swimming? Because I’m not a briefs guy. As has been repeatedly pointed out here and elsewhere, modesty of dress is subjective, while modesty of the heart is not. Modesty of dress is dependent on culture, modest of the heart remains constant regardless of culture.

“Culture” is constantly used as an excuse. Is better to strive for objective standards. Some Popes in the last century devised some standards for dress. Is not that difficult to put a basic standard.

This is not to excuse people, men or women, who are intentionally trying to show off the goods to get attention. But I do find it interesting that when say, an attractive woman wears a two piece bathing suit, it’s generally seen showing off. When a less attractive woman does that, it’s no big deal. Again, typically. So when a good looking guy wears a speedo… also showing off. A fat, bald dude from Europe does that, it’s just “gross” or whatever.

The same standards are for both unattractive and attractive people.

Just ask yourself: “Am I trying to get attention or comments or even trying to allure members of the opposite sex in a provocative way?” Yes? Maybe not a good idea to wear that. No? Go ahead. The only one who knows if you’re lying to yourself about your intentions is God.

That’s a good point, but some people tend to try to go around that and find a justification.

 

[The_Bucket]

“Culture” is constantly used as an excuse. Is better to strive for objective standards. Some Popes in the last century devised some standards for dress. Is not that difficult to put a basic standard.

There’s a basic standard of dress for the Vatican. And that’s well and good. Nothing wrong with that. I’m fine with the dress code there.

But saying that it’s inherently immodest for garments to be cut X inches below the knee or that lapels should be Y inches in width (I know the document to which you’re referring to my friend) is nonsense. You can’t apply that kind of thing to the jungles of South America and Southeast Asia or the deserts of Africa. You’d have people dying of heatstroke.

There is nothing wrong with the body. Those who want to use culture “as an excuse” for immodest behavior and dress will surely have to deal with the Lord. The same goes for those who want to bring back Catharism and argue that the body has some kind of evil associated with it. You can be nude and be modest. And I don’t just mean in the privacy of one’s home or with one’s spouse.

Is bathing nude in the wild immodest? Is even swimming in the nude while in the back country immodest? How about undressing at the doctor? Our First Parents clothed themselves not because they were naked and their nakedness was immodest, but because they felt shame after their sin and tried to “cover up their shame.” The fallenness of our First Parents had nothing to do with sexuality. Their loss of innocence is shown well with that analogy. When we lost our innocence, we became lustful. Instead of seeing the naked body as a gift from God and pure, we turned it into a tool for our sin.

Some people tend to try to go around that and find a justification.

With all due respect, that’s not your problem! That is their problem. God knows when we lie to ourselves. We know when we lie to ourselves. Others cannot and they should not presume either. I will not presume that you are a liar and I hope you do not presume that I am one. Now, I may very well be a liar. But what is that to you? You are better off assuming that I am not so that you do not fall into the sin of judging your neighbor. If I am a liar, then that is my affair. Good for you for assuming that I am righteous and knowing only your sin instead of assuming that I am a great sinner and castigating me for lying to God and myself.