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francisca
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Tell us about it.Has anyone on here watched The Science of Lust on the Discovery channel?
Tell us about it.Has anyone on here watched The Science of Lust on the Discovery channel?
Creating an ocassion of sin is as bas as the sin itselfLet’s talk about “woman’s intention” which men of lust always target their prejudices on.
The question is :
As a SUBJECT of feminine sexuality, is it OK for a woman to have intention to attract men’s attention?
Enlighten me with your opinion, or just throw me your question, or the fact of life you are facing.
Are you sure of the word they use is “lust” not “sex” ? I just remember I watched something like the above, long long time ago : A documentary about the difference of sexual behavior between man and woman. They use actor to test man and woman, their willingness to flirt. So the actor/ actress pick random people on the street and ask them to kiss him/ her on the month. The result shows that most of men samples were willing, some of them even did “french kiss” the actress, but only one or two women were willing but they only “peck” the actor, the rest refused immediately and walk off. It could be the same doc you talked about. The conclusion was more/ less : Woman is more selective because she has to get pregnant and nurse the child, but man is more aggressive in order to spread his seed. But the one I watched was not about “science of lust”, it was about “science of sexual behavior”.The documentary tested for lust as a factor in human relationships in double blind studies. It showed that lust largely depended on ques relative to competition for mates, whether consciously or unconsciously. It also showed that while both men and women had the same physiological reactions over similar times when exposed to stimuli, the males were less likely to censor these than women. the deciding factor appeared to be a built in difference in what constitutes success. Fro women it was delayed as pregnancy has consequences; in men not, because impregnation means propagation in any case. The one mitigating factor was that when the same profiles of people in relationships were given the same stimuli, the ones who were given it in a love context tended to pass over the more obvious sexual attractions in favor of their relationships. Otherwise lust was portrayed as one of the driving factors in creativity and accomplishment, those depending on the maturity of the individual. In other words, it was portrayed as raw fuel which could be use to either cause a conflagration or fuel a dynamic of creation. I think that is pretty close.
I think culture and religion do shape the society moral values, not necessarily personal values of each individual in it fully conform with them, but each individual living in the said society will be exposed to these cultural and religious values. Nothing to do with civil law.I think what is pertinent about all that here is the matter of what we are trained to take as signals. Some are cross-cultural, some are more specific. All require assimilation in terms of mores and social behavior, that happening to different degrees from profligacy to prudery dependent on many factors not necessarily related to an overt moral code, civil or religious.
I just remember I watched something like the above, long long time ago : A documentary about the difference of sexual behavior between man and woman. They use actor to test man and woman, their willingness to flirt. So the actor/ actress pick random people on the street and ask them to kiss him/ her on the month. The result shows that most of men samples were willing, some of them even did “french kiss” the actress, but only one or two women were willing but they only “peck” the actor, the rest refused immediately and walk off. It could be the same doc you talked about. The conclusion was more/ less : Woman is more selective because she has to get pregnant and nurse the child, but man is more aggressive in order to spread his seed. But the one I watched was not about “science of lust”, it was about “science of sexual behavior”.The documentary tested for lust as a factor in human relationships in double blind studies. It showed that lust largely depended on ques relative to competition for mates, whether consciously or unconsciously. It also showed that while both men and women had the same physiological reactions over similar times when exposed to stimuli, the males were less likely to censor these than women. the deciding factor appeared to be a built in difference in what constitutes success. Fro women it was delayed as pregnancy has consequences; in men not, because impregnation means propagation in any case. The one mitigating factor was that when the same profiles of people in relationships were given the same stimuli, the ones who were given it in a love context tended to pass over the more obvious sexual attractions in favor of their relationships. Otherwise lust was portrayed as one of the driving factors in creativity and accomplishment, those depending on the maturity of the individual. In other words, it was portrayed as raw fuel which could be use to either cause a conflagration or fuel a dynamic of creation. I think that is pretty close.
I think culture and religion do shape the society moral values, not necessarily personal values of each individual in it fully conform with them, but each individual living in the said society will be exposed to these cultural and religious values. Nothing to do with civil law.I think what is pertinent about all that here is the matter of what we are trained to take as signals. Some are cross-cultural, some are more specific. All require assimilation in terms of mores and social behavior, that happening to different degrees from profligacy to prudery dependent on many factors not necessarily related to an overt moral code, civil or religious.
What I meant by attraction in my post: woman also similar to man in the fact that she is also a subject, even though her sexuality is not masculine, rather she is feminine. So in this feminine nature of sex subject, woman most innate sexual instinct, she’s just naturally trying to always be attractive. This is a passive kind of sexual behavior. Woman sometimes doesn’t even know why all the clothes in the shopping malls looks so exciting. This is because woman sexual instinct as a sex Subject (and not object of sex) is to show off beauty.Creating an ocassion of sin is as bas as the sin itself
I don’t, and I hope not the rest too… Girls, do not let people impose their standard on you.Do Catholic women do that? Walk around all the time wondering if they are making an occasion of sin for some bozo? That couldn’t be a happy mental life!
I believe most normal people (men and women) can appreciate beauty without lust. Most women want to look their best, dress nicely and have their hair done. This is part of an “ordered” lifestyle, and I believe, ingrained in our femininity. Perhaps looking upon a beautiful woman (even though dressed modestly) would cause a man to sin, but I would contend that would be because he has an inclination to lust. Some struggle more than others with sexual sins and it is a great cross for them to bear.I do believe social consequence is always there, I mean “what would my ffriends think of me?”, or my husband or my family, etc. So I do not believe there are people who don’t really care about modesty, it’s just as you say above “we never really know for sure of what others might react”. So no matter how well I dress, there may be some people still lust for me, simply because I’m a beautiful woman. And because of their own lust, they try to impose their own thinking of modesty on everyone, but with their own and each subjectivity and preferences in their own and each heart which corner all woman into a responsibility to prevent OTHERS lust.
From this kind of thinking then some may conclude “It’s OK to rape woman if she run around nakend”, which actually giving oneself excuse to lust.
In this scenario, both male and female would be culpable. Those living in the light of God would recognize this for what it is.Here you clearly being linient towards men, but having prejudice against “woman’s intention”. Many and most people have this kind of thinking, even among women. This is something the world teach so we hate woman, and think of her as “sex object”, “the cause of sin of lust”
it’s the woman inside the clothes, never the clothes. To say that woman should cover her flesh otherwise men fall, is to suggest that men are powerless. The truth is men should not rape any woman even if she run around naked. In those amazon and african native tribes : men do not rape their women even though they run around naked. So the assumption that “man is powerless”, “woman need to dress modesty” actually is a set of sophisticated excuse to lust.
So we need to break that kind of game, especially in the church.
I disagree that it’s never the clothes. We all live with concupiscence as part of our fallen human nature and we are to run from temptation and likewise not be an occasion of sin for others. Culturally speaking, you cannot honestly apply the tribal African behavior to the U.S., for instance, since they are conditioned from birth and accept the human body with an openness that other societies, like ours, do not. And if a woman is dressing only for her sexual appeal (meaning to entice the opposite sex) I would suggest she is not living to the full potential of being female.The church should teach men that they are in control of their own body. And that women are SUBJECT not object of sex and certainly not the cause of man’s sin : A woman is allowed to adjust her own clothes in order to keep her appearance (her sexual appeal), because she is a SUBJECT not an OBJECT which people impose their standard on
My point is simply that the level of modesty you wish to live by is on you but that may create an acassion of sin for someone else but of course it is up to each individual to live up the standard of modesty they believe they are called to. No matter how you dress (which may or may not be a temptation to me) its up to me to not lust after you if I am married.What I meant by attraction in my post: woman also similar to man in the fact that she is also a subject, even though her sexuality is not masculine, rather she is feminine. So in this feminine nature of sex subject, woman most innate sexual instinct, she’s just naturally trying to always be attractive. This is a passive kind of sexual behavior. Woman sometimes doesn’t even know why all the clothes in the shopping malls looks so exciting. This is because woman sexual instinct as a sex Subject (and not object of sex) is to show off beauty.
The masculine role of man as a sex subject is more active. Having all the flowers around him, he has to choose what to do with them. Unlike woman who shop for lipstick, man pursue woman. And all this is just natural good sexuality, the one God give us all.
What makes sex become lust is prejudices against sexuality. All the bad talk, the bad values, the bad context those are imposed to it. Otherwise it’s just a fair game : Women try to be attractive, men decide what to do about it.
Even as a wife, I still love to shop for beautiful clothes, not necessarily I am in active hunting for hot man somewhere. Supposedly another man attracted to me and pursue me actively, as a subject of sex I can say yes or no. Now because my husband love, and treat me as “somebody”, I will say no to the other. The fact that I can say yes or no is to act as a SUBJECT.
Similar to this, man also can say yes or no, he is “NOT IN ANYWAY powerless”, he is a subject, and even more than woman, man is the active player. If a man say no to a woman, she can’t do anything about it. So if you say yes or no to a prostitute, you are playing your role as a sex SUBJECT with authority over your own sexuality. If you decide to pursue the woman of your dream, in this case you also play your role as a sex subject. When the woman of your dream say yes or no to you she is a subject to. This is the healthy sexuality God give us.
If a young man made a bad choice in his role as sex subject-- if he was provoked by his friend or even tempted by pictures of a woman-- he can’t say “I was not a subject, I was so powerless”. He was powerful, but he made a bad decision. But the thing is this, by the time he is a mature man, he has made many many and many bad decisions as a sex subject, he begin to have prejudices over sexuality. Having fail to control his own sexuality, then he begin to treat woman as the cause of his own failures. The devil now own him, he is now a slave.
If nothing of the previous paragraph ever happened to you, be happy, because sexuality is a good fair game. Do not listen to prejudices towards woman’s clothes, for if you do, you will lust. The truth is, you should fall in love, not to lust.
We can’t run from any temptations if we are not the one get tempted. How can clothes be the reason? Woman can dress the most concealing dress, yet men of lust still want her, and blame her for that. (please read post #4, #5, #8).I disagree that it’s never the clothes. We all live with concupiscence as part of our fallen human nature and we are to run from temptation and likewise not be an occasion of sin for others. Culturally speaking, you cannot honestly apply the tribal African behavior to the U.S., for instance, since they are conditioned from birth and accept the human body with an openness that other societies, like ours, do not. And if a woman is dressing only for her sexual appeal (meaning to entice the opposite sex) I would suggest she is not living to the full potential of being female.
This is a very simple question to answer. Modesty according to the teachings of the Catholic Church which Christ founded for the teaching and instruction of the faithful. The Church is the pillar of truth you should follow and not the maxiums of society.This thread is a branch of another thread I started on 13-Feb-2011 The way people dress to mass
forums.catholic-questions.org/showthread.php?t=535665
This issue was brought up by Archangel04 in relation to the previous thread above.
I move this to philosophy forum because in this thread I hope to analyze the sin of Lust and it’s relation with the way of Modesty by checking and asking why this and why that. So Shin, Archangel, and all are welcome to join in and throw your opinions.
I’ll begin with asking one question: “Modesty according to who?”
I live in a city in Asia. Here I can go to market wearing Tshirt, simple skirt unto my knee, without having to worry about anything. But if I go to places where women are expected to wear burqa, then wait a minute. But if I go to the Amazon in south america or to many places in Africa, and live with native tribe there who doesn’t like clothes that much, I can wear my tiny skirt, and they wouldn’t mind.
And we are still talking about cultural relative modesty. How about individual subjectivity ? What’s modest for me not necessarily for you.
So if modesty is relative and subjective, doesn’t it mean that --assuming that there is relation between modesty and lust-- doesn’t it mean that Lust is fully under the subjectivity of the beholder, and not on the woman?
If that is so, we can’t say that man lust because the way woman dress.
God bless you all