Modesty for Men, guy question

[mymamamary]

Dear Forum

Fellow-Men,

I have a question. I asked my Priest in Confession tonight on “Immodest Clothing”. I realise that tight pants are a problem.

However, What about “tight” shirts. Also, What would calssify as “tight” for shirts? I ask because my Priest said that this is “Grey”. I know it is sinful if I do it with the intent of arousing others. My question becomes though:

Since I workout, I like to wear “tighter”-than normal shirts. Meaning that they are not muscle shirt tight, but figure hugging. I realise it may be part of my little “ego” , attempting to look really muscular, but I dont know,

Would this classify as immodest?

If not,

then what does??

FOR MEN.

 

[JimG]

My, my, my mammary.

I always thought you were female!

Oh! Now I get it!
Mama Mary!

I was totally misreading your name!

Well, that gives the tight shirt situation a whole different aspect.

But I really have no idea of the answer. I think maybe women could answer it best.

 

[triumphguy]

My, my, my mammary.

I always thought you were female!

Oh! Now I get it!
Mama Mary!

I was totally misreading your name!

I just spilt coffee over my keyboard!

It’s not “my mammary”!

I’d say IF you are wearing clothes in order to boost your own ego and to turn the heads of girls then it may not be appropriate.

However… what would 1Ke say?

 

[Samuel63]

Do not bother. Women are mostly immodest in even the most reverent of places today, such as Mass. The only women I see that dress appropriately are over 70 years of age. I wish seriously some of the others would follow suit.

Tight fitting clothes does damage to the community because it causes arousal and temptation in men that are naturally driven. There was an understood agreement at one time that offered women chivalry in return for dressing in a manner that protected men from impure thoughts. Now you know why chivalry is almost dead today. Some women enjoy sparking this arousal in men and getting their attention. How pathetic.

I attended a public high school music concert tonight. As usual, the younger women on stage dressed like awkward and immature ladies of the evening. The guys had on a coat and tie. The men stand out in a very good way.

Just try this test. Attend the next confirmation mass you can find where the confirmandi are at the late sophomore or early junior year of high school age. Do a scan of the audience. Compare the dress of the young men with the women. It is staggering. What are we turning our young women into?

 

[R_C]

I think you actually need the advice of the ladies here

For instance, business attire can make a few ladies look at you when you have no intent of being immodest…then again, clothes that emphasize the shape of the body (and I guess we all are proud of and want to show the results of working out ) can also do the same…

I think, personally, it depends a lot on the surroundings. If we step for a minute in the secular writings of Darwin on sexual selection (God forgive me and have mercy on us all) we read:

The sexual struggle is of two kinds; in the one it is between individuals of the same sex, generally the males, in order to drive away or kill their rivals, the females remaining passive; whilst in the other, the struggle is likewise between the individuals of the same sex, in order to excite or charm those of the opposite sex, generally the females, which no longer remain passive, but select the more agreeable partners.

What I am getting at, is that if you are the only muscular guy in the area and you show it, that may be immodest Just like when I have to wear strict business attire and walk amidst fellow men wearing t-shirt and shorts, I may be immodest (though it may not be my intention).

In the Catechism we read that “Modesty protects the intimate center of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness.” Thus, to avoid it is to sort of try to fit in the general look, or to stand out only in the positive way (ex. I remember once in college during an Italian final exam I saw a nun, and while she clearly was dressed very different from the other college girls, the difference was in benefit of modesty).

Ultimately, it also boils down to the observer: “to the pure, all things are pure”. Which is why the Lord emphasized that to look with lust is sinful.

 

[R_C]

what would 1Ke say?

 

[Angelsflight]

I know you want answers from men, but I thought I would chime in anyway…

I seriously don’t think there would be a problem with tight shirts. As long as the appropriate areas of your body is covered, it really should not matter what you wear.

I am a firm believer that people should wear what makes them comfortable or makes them feel good about themselves. If someone lusts after you, it probably has nothing to do with the shirt you are wearing.

You wear shorts sometimes, I assume? Well, seeing bare legs can have the same affect, right? People can feel lustful just by looking at another persons face.

Wear what you want. If someone else lusts, it is their sin.

 

[Angelsflight]

Do not bother. Women are mostly immodest in even the most reverent of places today, such as Mass. The only women I see that dress appropriately are over 70 years of age. I wish seriously some of the others would follow suit.

Tight fitting clothes does damage to the community because it causes arousal and temptation in men that are naturally driven. There was an understood agreement at one time that offered women chivalry in return for dressing in a manner that protected men from impure thoughts. Now you know why chivalry is almost dead today. Some women enjoy sparking this arousal in men and getting their attention. How pathetic.

I attended a public high school music concert tonight. As usual, the younger women on stage dressed like awkward and immature ladies of the evening. The guys had on a coat and tie. The men stand out in a very good way.

Just try this test. Attend the next confirmation mass you can find where the confirmandi are at the late sophomore or early junior year of high school age. Do a scan of the audience. Compare the dress of the young men with the women. It is staggering. What are we turning our young women into?

So…are we going to turn this into another “women dress inappropriately” thread?

 

[LightBound]

Do not bother. Women are mostly immodest in even the most reverent of places today, such as Mass. The only women I see that dress appropriately are over 70 years of age. I wish seriously some of the others would follow suit.

Tight fitting clothes does damage to the community because it causes arousal and temptation in men that are naturally driven. There was an understood agreement at one time that offered women chivalry in return for dressing in a manner that protected men from impure thoughts. Now you know why chivalry is almost dead today. Some women enjoy sparking this arousal in men and getting their attention. How pathetic.

I attended a public high school music concert tonight. As usual, the younger women on stage dressed like awkward and immature ladies of the evening. The guys had on a coat and tie. The men stand out in a very good way.

Just try this test. Attend the next confirmation mass you can find where the confirmandi are at the late sophomore or early junior year of high school age. Do a scan of the audience. Compare the dress of the young men with the women. It is staggering. What are we turning our young women into?

Excuse me, but what is your problem? You come waltzing onto this post, which has nothing to do with young women’s clothes, and derail it just so you can start up another women’s modesty thread? Please, take your dead horse and go beat it somewhere else.

 

[Angelsflight]

Excuse me, but what is your problem? You come waltzing onto this post, which has nothing to do with young women’s clothes, and derail it just so you can start up another women’s modesty thread? Please, take your dead horse and go beat it somewhere else.

:clapping:

I agree…!!

 

[dshix]

I know you want answers from men, but I thought I would chime in anyway…

I seriously don’t think there would be a problem with tight shirts. As long as the appropriate areas of your body is covered, it really should not matter what you wear.

I am a firm believer that people should wear what makes them comfortable or makes them feel good about themselves. If someone lusts after you, it probably has nothing to do with the shirt you are wearing.

You wear shorts sometimes, I assume? Well, seeing bare legs can have the same affect, right? People can feel lustful just by looking at another persons face.

Wear what you want. If someone else lusts, it is their sin.

I agree. It’s actually not easy for a male person to dress ‘immodestly,’ they can only really be immodest if they aren’t wearing very much at all (i.e. underwear) or if their behavior is immodest.

As long as you don’t do either (which I’m sure you won’t) you’ll be fine.

 

[zenith15]

Excuse me, but what is your problem? You come waltzing onto this post, which has nothing to do with young women’s clothes, and derail it just so you can start up another women’s modesty thread? Please, take your dead horse and go beat it somewhere else.

I agree too! My goodness, where did all THAT come from?

 

[april32010]

Excuse me, but what is your problem? You come waltzing onto this post, which has nothing to do with young women’s clothes, and derail it just so you can start up another women’s modesty thread? Please, take your dead horse and go beat it somewhere else.

:tiphat::clapping::clapping::clapping: :clapping: :clapping::clapping::tiphat:

 

[LightBound]

I agree too! My goodness, where did all THAT come from?

Where did it come from?

This: “Women are mostly immodest in even the most reverent of places today, such as Mass. The only women I see that dress appropriately are over 70 years of age”.

Perhaps the fact that every other week, someone feels the need to dig up a dead beaten horse, resurrect it, and then beat it death again. The dead horse being “women and modesty” The comments he made though, (which I quoted above) are reprehensible at best!

 

[findingmyself08]

I’m a woman, but I’d thought I’d give you my two cents.

As angelsflight said, I prefer that people wear what is comfortable to them, but within reason. Some people are more comfortable with low-cut shirts, but that doesn’t mean they are always appropriate.

However, I think what you wear is also important to the situation. If you are wearing tighter clothing while working out, it can be more instrumental and have more purpose for the workout. As an example, consider professional and amateur swimmers. They wear tight suits to decrease friction in the water. Wearing tight suits is necessary to the workout. But if you are merely wearing the tight clothing to attract attention, then your purpose is skewed. You are not merely doing it to increase the effectiveness of your workout, but to flaunt part(s) of your body.

But really you need to use your discretion. If you feel you are wearing the tighter clothing for a dual/mixed/wrong emotion, you may need to re-examine why you have chosen it.

 

[MidnightSun12]

Do not bother. Women are mostly immodest in even the most reverent of places today, such as Mass. The only women I see that dress appropriately are over 70 years of age. I wish seriously some of the others would follow suit.

Tight fitting clothes does damage to the community because it causes arousal and temptation in men that are naturally driven. There was an understood agreement at one time that offered women chivalry in return for dressing in a manner that protected men from impure thoughts. Now you know why chivalry is almost dead today. Some women enjoy sparking this arousal in men and getting their attention. How pathetic.

I attended a public high school music concert tonight. As usual, the younger women on stage dressed like awkward and immature ladies of the evening. The guys had on a coat and tie. The men stand out in a very good way.

Just try this test. Attend the next confirmation mass you can find where the confirmandi are at the late sophomore or early junior year of high school age. Do a scan of the audience. Compare the dress of the young men with the women. It is staggering. What are we turning our young women into?

For the record, I have to absolutely applaud this post. Chivalry being an agreement between men and women in return for modesty is an absolutely beautiful way to think about something that was so incredibly pleasing to our Lord! Thank you! May we please get back to those days, somehow!

As for the topic, as a man in my mid-20’s, I usually try to wear something a bit more on the baggy side when I am working out and I wear gym shorts that usually go down a little ways past my knees. I greatly appreciate it when the ladies dress modestly in the gym, I figure the least I can do is return the favor!

 

[RoseMary131]

Dear Forum

However, What about “tight” shirts. Also, What would calssify as “tight” for shirts? I ask because my Priest said that this is “Grey”. I know it is sinful if I do it with the intent of arousing others.
Would this classify as immodest?

If not,

then what does??

When Father told you it is “grey”, did you ask him to explain it better to you?

Is this a priest that understands your sufferings with scrupulosity? Make sure he understands your sufferings so he will give you a helpful answer.

I think Father would be the best one to answer this since he gave you the “grey” answer. Give him the exact information you gave us. Tell him “grey” isn’t helping you understand if you are dressing immodest.

Then listen to what he says and settle for that being your answer.

 

[losh14]

As was pointed out previously, part of modesty is your own mentality of yourself. I’ve been told that I look very good in black though I often wear black to remind myself that I am from ashes.

Go with a rule of circumstance. A “power suit” is great for closing deals or interviewing for a job. It can also make some girls’ knees weak.

Likewise with tight clothes, some people think that baggy jeans are a sign of slovenliness so you almost have to wear tighter jeans to show respect for yourself in their eyes. I wear tight jeans because I’m 20 pounds overweight and too cheap to replace the jeans I wore when I was 30. I’m also married with kids and don’t care to impress anyone (though I give concessions to my wife because she has to be seen with me in public).

When in doubt, bring a hoodie or loosely-fitting sweater.

 

[severus68]

Do not bother. Women are mostly immodest in even the most reverent of places today, such as Mass. The only women I see that dress appropriately are over 70 years of age. I wish seriously some of the others would follow suit.

Tight fitting clothes does damage to the community because it causes arousal and temptation in men that are naturally driven. There was an understood agreement at one time that offered women chivalry in return for dressing in a manner that protected men from impure thoughts. Now you know why chivalry is almost dead today. Some women enjoy sparking this arousal in men and getting their attention. How pathetic.

I attended a public high school music concert tonight. As usual, the younger women on stage dressed like awkward and immature ladies of the evening. The guys had on a coat and tie. The men stand out in a very good way.

Just try this test. Attend the next confirmation mass you can find where the confirmandi are at the late sophomore or early junior year of high school age. Do a scan of the audience. Compare the dress of the young men with the women. It is staggering. What are we turning our young women into?

Please do stop looking at women, especially at mass.

 

[severus68]

Excuse me, but what is your problem? You come waltzing onto this post, which has nothing to do with young women’s clothes, and derail it just so you can start up another women’s modesty thread? Please, take your dead horse and go beat it somewhere else.

Yes, yes , yes.