PART 1:
The topic of modesty seems to get quite a bit of debate which I have learnt. I think it is really good that we are all talking about this and seeing people’s different perspectives, even if I happen to strongly disagree with some people, because everyone is entitled to their own opinion, and it is interesting to see how passionate some people are whether for or against modesty and all that goes with it.
To the people that have said that it is a choice and no one should be forced to wear something, I agree 100%. I once upon a time dressed immodestly, and hated people telling me what I should be wearing or not. My change came about after my “re-version” into the Catholic Faith, and a male friend gently talking to me about what is modesty, why dress modestly etc. He never ever forced me into wearing something, made me feel guilty about what I wore, or anything like it. When I made the decision to change my clothes, it was because my heart was ready to make the change. I wanted to do what was pleasing to Jesus, and so I followed the advice of my confessor and the various other advice I saw on EWTN, etc.
If people would like to call me self-righteous, on my high horse, or whatever, that’s fine, say what pleases you. I know I still have a long way to go too. In fact, what may seem modest to me, another will call immodest, and vice versa. We are all on our own spiritual journey, and should seek always the Truth and pray for the grace to accept it when we find it.
I have checked out all the things everyone has asked me to see on here, and there are some things that I found quite hard to accept, and that I may never accept, only God knows… So I went to seek advice from not one Priest, lest I get a biased opinion, but 3 Priests. So from the various books I have looked at, videos I’ve watched, and advice I’ve received, I am able to say that common sense must be used when deciding what is modest or not (for yourself). It is not for us to “judge” others in their attire.
The Catholic Church has not made an official ruling on what is modest or not, because of various different reasons, including cultural issues.
But we can take the guidelines She has given us, and be sensible in following them according to hearts, advice from spiritual directors, personal prayer life, etc.
Ultimately, I would want to do whatever God wants me to do. I would want my view on modesty and the clothes I wear, amongst other issues, to be in line with God’s Will and what He desires. So, like the Commandments, I would want Him to change MY heart so that I conform to His Will, instead of trying to BEND HIS WILL to conform to mine!
There are many things in life that I do not want or may want for that matter, or that I do not agree with, but no matter what the topic, if it is something that is AGAINST what His view is, and what His Will is, then as hard as it would be for me to accept I would certainly pray for the grace to show me the Truth and for the grace to submit myself to it.
It is His Will for me that will bring me the True Freedom and Happiness that our Faith professes in Jesus Christ.
No matter what any one says, I will never be convinced that modesty is an unimportant issue, that it has nothing to do with purity and chastity, and the age old arguement just like 'Keep God out of my Bedroom" - Keep modesty out of fashion/my home/my family/fill in the blank/etc
CCC2521 “Purity requires modesty, an integral part of temperance. Modesty protects the intimate centre of the person. It means refusing to unveil what should remain hidden. It is ordered to chastity to whose sensitivity it bears witness. It guides how one looks at others and behaves towards them in conformity with the dignity of persons and their solidarity.”
The Body and Soul cannot be separated. The body reveals the state of the Soul, and the Soul reveals the state of the Body. To say that I can dress immodestly but my heart is pure, is a contradiction. Because when you know the true value of your body (men and women) and the sacredness and true beauty of it, you would not reveal it in a base way.
I am not a Theologian and have not done any professional studies, but I would recommend to all to familiarise yourselves with Blessed John Paul II’s Theology of the Body, Christopher West’s Theology of the Body (JPII’s TOB for lay people pretty much), Jason and Crystalina Evert’s various talks and website
www.chastity.com.
These brilliant people discuss the beauty of our sexuality the way God created it. It doesn’t abase it to nothing.
The reason for this thread is I have a modest clothing line, which is sold online only. I received major interest from women, but who were reluctant to buy online and wanted to try on the clothes. So I am having a Dress Party, similar to the good old Tupperware Parties, where they can come try on the dresses.
Now some may think these clothes are fuddy duddy, others may find them attractive. Each has their own taste. I am sure all us ladies who will be there will have different standards of modesty. I am taking it upon myself to find information about modesty for girls to read while they are there and I plan to do it in an informative gentle way - just like God gave the grace to me those years ago through my male friend.