Modesty in marriage

  • Thread starter Thread starter Lady_Kikyo
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
L

Lady_Kikyo

Guest
i suppose this normally isn’t the right forum, but I’d like a traditional answer so here i am.

does anyone know if any Pope or Saint addressed the issue of modesty between spouses? (only regarding dress/nudity). I know the Cure of Ars was upset that mothers let their young children walk around naked, but I was wondering if any spoke regarding nudity between spouses. Please provide links if you can, or a source of some kind. My fiance and I have slightly differing opinions here, and both want to do the right thing.

Thank you.
 
One old Josephite priest I know said about such matters, “Your body is his body. His body is your body. What is there to be modest about? You were made one flesh by the sacrament of matrimony.”

And I don’t see what this has to do with little children running around in their birthday suits. Not everything said by a saint is necessarily infallible.

His opinion about dancing, for example, differs markedly from the opinions of other saints.
 
I happened to think of something else:

St. Isaac the Syrian said that we are normally clothed because the human body is holy, and holy things are veiled to hide them from the curious gaze of unconsecrated persons.

But husband and wife are consecrated to each other, therefore, they may appear before each other in all their glory as God created them.
 
If that answer is worrying for someone reason, then it must be remembered that spouses do owe respect to each other and objectification is wrong, as is forcing some sexual behaviours the other spouse is not comfortable with.
 
chevalier said:
If that answer is worrying for someone reason, then it must be remembered that spouses do owe respect to each other and objectification is wrong, as is forcing some sexual behaviours the other spouse is not comfortable with.
Click to expand...
Amen, Chevalier!

Why is the answer troubling to you, OP? Being consecrated as one does not give one person the ultimate right over another. If you would like a modicum of privacy to be maintained in your own household, outside of marital sexual relations, I personally believe that your husband s hould respect your wishes.

And, you know, being married also doesnt mean that its necessarily appropriate to do the dishes in your birthday suit every day, either. Go with your gut, and remember, the ultimate decisions should be made by BOTH spouses in these regards.
 
Lady_Kikyo said:
i suppose this normally isn’t the right forum, but I’d like a traditional answer so here i am.

does anyone know if any Pope or Saint addressed the issue of modesty between spouses? (only regarding dress/nudity). I know the Cure of Ars was upset that mothers let their young children walk around naked, but I was wondering if any spoke regarding nudity between spouses. Please provide links if you can, or a source of some kind. My fiance and I have slightly differing opinions here, and both want to do the right thing.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
There are some quotes I might have that might help by setting the context. Give me a bit and I’ll get them together.

As for dancing the saints and Church Councils are far more united against it than some think. 🙂
 
yellowdaisy said:
Amen, Chevalier!

Why is the answer troubling to you, OP?
Click to expand...
To make a long, weird story very short, I just don’t see the attraction there.

When both people disagree on something, but both want to sacrifice for the other, what do they do?!:confused: Guess it’s a matter to take up in prayer…

…at least until those quotes come from Shin (thanks).
 
Don’t worry, he’s not a sex-crazed brute or anything like that…I guess I just have typical virgin anxieties.:blushing:
 
Lady Kikyo–

Are you getting married soon? I can tell you that the level of modesty/intimacy is DEFINATELY a process-- you dont start out from day one being totally comfortable in your body (which has previously been unseen by just about everyboyd you know! except perhaps your mother and a doctor!)

Just like emotional relationship, physical relationships take time to develop and deepen. It’s ok to be a little self conscious when youre first married! It’s also very very normal!!! 🙂

Hugs, friend!
 
yellowdaisy said:
Lady Kikyo–

Are you getting married soon? I can tell you that the level of modesty/intimacy is DEFINATELY a process-- you dont start out from day one being totally comfortable in your body (which has previously been unseen by just about everyboyd you know! except perhaps your mother and a doctor!)

Just like emotional relationship, physical relationships take time to develop and deepen. It’s ok to be a little self conscious when youre first married! It’s also very very normal!!! 🙂

Hugs, friend!
Click to expand...
Thank you for the encouragement, please say a few prayers for us. February 6 is the day. :blushing:deep breath:blushing:
 
Lady_Kikyo said:
Honestly? I was hoping for, in essense, stay covered as much as possible, think of your Guardian Angel!😊
Click to expand...
Honestly, unless you’re getting ready for the ‘marital act’, I think you should stay covered up because you shouldn’t incite each other outside of it. I suppose some might say familiarity desensitizes too. It also can breed self indulgence.

I believe a Pope declared dogmatically that seeking the pleasure for its own sake was a mortal sin. 🙂
 
Your guardian angel has seen you in your birthday suit since before you were born. It’s not like you’ve got anything she hasn’t seen, so don’t blame her.

It’s okay to maintain a little mystery. Some women like to be more put together all the time, some not so much, most something inbetween. Take your time, sure. But you are each giving each other everything, so at some point when you’re married, your husband is probably going to want to unwrap his present. And so will you, with yours. 🙂

Totally uneducated, inexperienced people have been getting married since the beginning of the world, and yet the human race has managed to survive up to this very day. It’s not rocket science, even though it’s not easy-peasey, either. So I have faith that somehow, you two will work it out. 🙂
 
Lady_Kikyo said:
Honestly? I was hoping for, in essence, stay covered as much as possible, think of your Guardian Angel!😊
Click to expand...
**God made Adam and Eve for each other–and they were naked and not ashamed, the Bible tells us. Embarassment at our bodies is a result of the fall–and in some situations is the sin of prudery, which is likewise a sin against chastity.

And do you think your Guardian Angel–to say nothing about God Himself–can’t see through your clothes?**
 
\I believe a Pope declared dogmatically that seeking the pleasure for its own sake was a mortal sin. \

**And can you tell us which pope?

One of the themes of the Song of Solomon is the physical delight the lovers take in each other. Nowhere is this considered sinful.**
 
Lady_Kikyo said:
Honestly? I was hoping for, in essence, stay covered as much as possible, think of your Guardian Angel!😊
Click to expand...
I am sorry, but I think otherwise. The spouses can stay naked as long as they want.
The nudity is necessary during the marital act for its meaning of whole gift of themselves. I think also that the spouses should stay often naked.
 
CFI said:
I am sorry, but I think otherwise. The spouses can stay naked as long as they want.
The nudity is necessary during the marital act for its meaning of whole gift of themselves. I think also that the spouses should stay often naked.
Click to expand...
JMJ
I disagree, there’s no reason to be naked unless one will be (then or very soon) engaging in the marital act. There is such a thing as lust in marriage, and we both want to avoid sin as much as possible.
 
Quite frankly., it’s whatever the couple feels comfortable with.

And, if you happen to catch the other person naked, and think, “Hey, we could have sex”, that’s not lust - that’s a natural reaction. It’s not taking inordinate pleasure or interest.

Don’t worry about it.
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top