Modesty

[zaramarie81]

That’s good stuff. Although it says little about the woman’s challenge in manner of dress apart from not dressing like a prostitute, which is one end of the spectrum. There’s still a pretty big gray area for women to navigate between the extremes when it comes to fashion, cultural context, social context, climate, etc. I’m just trying to empathize with this challenge that women face.e.

I’m just going to speak for myself here when I say I don’t find it a challenge to dress modestly or to discern what is appropriate dress. Nor do I feel oppressed by the whole debate of modesty nor have I ever felt shamed for my clothing in America (both good or bad choices). I’ve worn some pretty revealing stuff as a teen, and fit right in with our culture! If anything, our culture has swung so far in the direction of “sexiness” that I feel more frustrated when a woman wears practically nothing in front of my boyfriend than shopping for my own clothes. Now, each woman is a little different. My figure is petite, and thus easier to dress modestly. The biggest challenge I have is having to shop in the teen section, which can be a bit raunchy, but I still have very little trouble finding attractive, modest clothes for my figure. I have some girlfriends with curvier figures that find modesty a bit more challenging.

 

[zaramarie81]

Think of a small child, dressed in a “cute” or “pretty” dress. You don’t want them to do anything with “hot”, that would be perverse. Perhaps this example helps highlight how “hot” is not the same as being “cute” or “pretty”.

Haha, I have used this example! He won’t back down, although he knows it’s true. He would never use those words on his mom or a child.

Below is the picture of the prettiest, most beautiful Lady on Earth (and in Heaven, too ):

sancta.org/cgi/display.nor?image=imagen_pic_300w.jpg

sancta.org/cgi/display.nor?image=rostro_400_.jpg

sancta.org/cgi/display.nor?image=original_face_bw.jpg

Along with a modest, exceedingly humble man, someone who was of little worth in his own eyes, and yet he was chosen to see the Mother of God face to face (as imagined by artists, based on his story described in the Nican Mopohua):

sancta.org/cgi/display.nor?image=olg_talking_with_juandiego.jpg

sancta.org/cgi/display.nor?image=juandiego_tilma_400.jpg

It was asked a few times in the thread, what would Our Lady wear, but not back in Palestine and 2000 years ago, but in more recent times. So, here’s what she wore in 1531 .

I agree, Mary is beautiful, not “hot.” She lived in a different culture, but it’s always a worthy endeavor to try to imitate her in our own times in a way that fits our times.

 

[zaramarie81]

Precisely.

Yes, although I was using the word “hot” to avoid giving people ideas by always putting “sexy” in quotation marks. “Hot” has the added bonus of not always being overtly sexual and generally focussing on attractiveness - but one taken very far. I see where your boyfriend is coming from - you *can *use that word without meaning anything indecent, and “hot” and “cute” have different connotations of attractiveness. Some people even say “cute” to denote they aren’t attracted sexually. So perhaps you and your boyfriend simply use the same word to describe a slightly different concept.

That would be sad.

There’s a difference between e.g. Galadriel or Arwen, either if you compare shots from the film or the way they were cast in the book, and the outfits commonly described as “sexy”.

Generally, if something isn’t appropriate in one place on that account, it may likely be inappropriate in general. Looking for attention is either appropriate or not, but actively tempting others into sexual thoughts is never appropriate. I don’t think the “hot” club outfits necessarily cross the line, although most of them are not quite flattering on the point of dignity and generally rather immature.

Hah, no, you haven’t confused it further and yes, it’s been helpful. Hmm… Well, there’s nothing wrong with sexual attraction (as opposed to just attraction) per se, but appealing to people that way often crosses the line of mere attraction and it’s more about fantasies, hormones and adrenaline. In a way, it also moves into the realm of consumption. And consumption is not okay.

Glad it was helpful. No, there is nothing wrong with sexual attraction but modesty helps keep it holy. And yeah, I can see what you mean about “hot” not quite being the same as “sexy.” After all, we can say someone is “cool” and we are not really saying they are sexually prudish, lol, but just “hip” or “trendy.” So I guess hot can be used for multiple purposes. It still rings as a bit sexual to me though.

Interesting thread!

 

[zaramarie81]

POLLLEEEEEZZZ!!!

Toronto hits 95 degrees in the summer on a regular basis!!!

could you imagine two naked guys on the beach if it were cold???

scary thought…

Lol. Well, I was mostly kidding, but I’ve been to Toronto many times, mostly in cooler weather. And I doubt your summers last as long as the summers in my area. We just had a week of 70 degrees in VA.

 

[noclevername]

I am watching Million Dollar Mermaid, a movie from 1952 about a woman who is a long distance competition swimmer who swims in a one piece swim suit. Her swim suit of choice is what in today’s world is a very modest one piece high front, high back and short type legs. She is being charged in court with indecent exposure. She ends up sewing legs onto the suit bottom and a tank top to the top to cover up even more. The really funny thing is most of the Olympic swimmers now compete in something very similar to what she made out of the “indecent” swimsuit. Anyway, it’s a really good movie and it’s fun to see how things have changed in just 60 years.

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

POLLLEEEEEZZZ!!!

Toronto hits 95 degrees in the summer on a regular basis!!!

could you imagine two naked guys on the beach if it were cold???

scary thought…

I could only imagine one thing scarier than this, two naked guys swimming in the ocean! Think of all those big fish, barracudas, sharks, won’t they bite when they are hungry??

I wouldn’t go to swim naked, even if I was shipwrecked on a deserted island!

 

[Joseph_L_Varga]

Haha, I have used this example! He won’t back down, although he knows it’s true. He would never use those words on his mom or a child.

Lol… that would be really silly, to compliment your mother like this, “Mama, you look so hot!” My mom would ask me whether I got high fever or something, and would surely offer me a pack of ice to put it on my head!

 

[levi78]

I would like to thank all women on these forums (or not) who take the time to dig a little deeper in the clothing racks to find the modest clothes and/or put together a clothing ensemble for the day that isn’t likely to let us men slip into sin.

:tiphat: :clapping:

I just wanted to thank all who make the effort. Having just broken up with a woman who thought she didn’t dress provacatively, I’m very much looking forward to meeting a woman who has an opinion of modesty that isn’t based in relative terms to society’s opinion.

My ex is very much endowed and while that may not be easy to hide, she wore form fitting blouses, low cut necks, or shirts with keyhole openings below the neck in front. I tried breaking the ice by bringing it up in regards to how it may distract her male students (she’s a HS teacher) and that’s when she said there are teachers who dress a lot more racier than her and that she didn’t think she dressed like that.

The convo went on for a little bit but I could tell she wasn’t getting it. I dropped it.

But again, thank you to all women who try!

 

[lottied]

Hey hey hey people!

(sorry that was probably a bit of an ott intro but…)

anyway on the subject if modesty, as a new Catholic (it’ll be a year on April 20th, whoop whoop!) i would just like to pass on a couple of thoughts from my experiences so far. As a woman hw you look is really important and one harsh word from a man can do some serious damage to us (even though so often these words are well meant!) so i would say that the best way to address the issue is to be gentle and not to be ‘condemming’ if you see what i mean- positive reinforcement is the best way! look at how our Lord does things he knows how delicate our female hearts are and so he gently nurtures us.

Our Lady is wonderful and she is certainly helping me in these areas as is Our Lord who is sustaining me by his grace, also, a message for your girlfriend…her beauty as a woman should be grounded in Christ only then can her feminine beauty shine through, since he made us to be in himself- her validation comes from him and it is only then that she can take you to the heart of God by reflecting her feminine beauty to the glory of the Father. This process of total surrender to Jesus can be really scary but it is the best thingi have ever done, he is so so wonderfull and he is helping me every step of the way. A good book about this is the theology of the body but also there is another one called ‘captivating’ by John and Stasi Eldrege (whoare not Catholic but nevertheless write wel!) it is a good book, i’ve just finished it today!

I hope that helps and sorry it’s a bit of an essay!!

Pax vobiscum

 

[purelovemmc]

Hi all!

Need your support!

I’m engaged and getting married next year (ask me where I am APPLYING to get married! )

Anyway, here in Canada there is a contest for me to be able to win $1,000 towards my wedding bands. For all those who are married, you know how much weddings can cost especially if it’s in Europe (ask me where I am APPLYING to get married! )

I’m kind of hoping you can all help me and my fiance with this bit of task.

You will need Facebook – On the search tab, search for “Spence Diamonds” then like their page. After you like their page, go to their contests and click on the contest to win the wedding bands and search for my entry, you’ll know because it has my name “Ernestine”.

I’ve got some friends in Facebook but I guess due to my being “too vocal” with beliefs, none of them are too willing to help. I’m hoping I can rely on your help and give us a bit of break with all the spending.

Oh and feel free to add me in Facebook, would love to have some Catholic friends in Facebook.

Thanks to all of you in advance. God bless!!!