Mom: MySpace Hoax Led to Daughter's Suicide

[Wolseley]

foxnews.com/story/0,2933,312018,00.html

Pathetic.

 

[KathleenElsie]

One life ended in death and others are now shattered because of this. I hope the people responsible for this will be prosecuted for murder.

 

[rayne89]

cnn.com/2007/US/11/17/internet.suicide.ap/index.html#cnnSTCVideo

Here’s a CNN clip. This story is unbelievable - these people that did this were a family the parents were friends with and had gone on vacations with. They knew this girl was in counseling and suffered from depression. They say did this to find out why Megan (the girl that killed herself) wouldn’t be friends with their daughter anymore. They created a fake teenage boy who showed interest in Megan, gave her compliments, was kind, chatted with her everyday online for weeks and suddenly turned on her calling her fat, ugly and a slut and posting what the girl had wrote to this fake teenage boy on the internet. A grown adult woman did this to get back at a 13 year old girl who wouldn’t be friends with her daughter. There names aren’t being published by mainstream media but blogs on the internet have outted them.

 

[seekerz]

So sad and so many issues here. The teenage years are hard enough for kids; harder still when you mix in parents who revert to childish behavior to control their kids’ lives.

On another note, am I old-fashioned for thinking that 13 is too young to be chatting with unknown “cute boys” on the internet?

 

[rayne89]

So sad and so many issues here. The teenage years are hard enough for kids; harder still when you mix in parents who revert to childish behavior to control their kids’ lives.

On another note, am I old-fashioned for thinking that 13 is too young to be chatting with unknown “cute boys” on the internet?

I would not allow my daughter to have a myspace while living in my house (well maybe when she was 18). According to the mother the girl begged her mom because “all the other kids at school had one”. She gave in under the agreement that it was set to private and she monitored her daughters page.

This ficticious boy requested to be added (the only way you can access a private page) and the girl was so excited that a cute boy wanted to talk with her. Her mom monitored their writings and after a while did start to become suspicious when he said he didn’t have a phone number yet (supposedly he had just moved to their area) even though they had been chatting for several weeks. She even went to the police to see it there was a way to check if this boy was really who he said he was. Her reason for letting the girl continue was that her child that had been chronically depressed was now happy and herself esteem was growing and she didn’t want to take that away from her. I’m sure the guilt this mother feels is unbelievable - such as sad situation.

 

[m134e5]

am I old-fashioned for thinking that 13 is too young to be chatting with unknown “cute boys” on the internet?

No. I don’t think I would even want my children having blogs or MySpace pages or Facebook pages or anything like that.

The people who made the fake account should be prosecuted for murder.

Parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing online- it is not being nosy- it is responsible parenting. They don’t need to look over their shoulder, but I wouldn’t allow a child to have a computer in their bedroom, or to spend excessive amounts of time on it.

 

[Aramis]

No. I don’t think I would even want my children having blogs or MySpace pages or Facebook pages or anything like that.

The people who made the fake account should be prosecuted for murder.

Parents need to be aware of what their kids are doing online- it is not being nosy- it is responsible parenting. They don’t need to look over their shoulder, but I wouldn’t allow a child to have a computer in their bedroom, or to spend excessive amounts of time on it.

Quite honestly, unless you can keep them away from the library, the internet cafes, and friends houses, odds are you’ll never know about them until after they are already in use unless you approve with limits.

The myspace approval process is negligible (I have a page myself, for keeping in touch with friends no longer in state). The security is a joke. I was able to establish a presence without any verification of age other than my email address coming back valid.

It takes 5 minute to set up a free email. It takes another 10 to get on myspace. Most schools block it, but not all, and finding a proxy server is done easily enough by high-schoolers; it is possible to use babelfish as a proxy to bypass some restrictions…

 

[mamacita]

Megan’s parents were the only w/ the password from what I read. That way the daughter could only get on there when her mom said and monitored it very closely. We lived in that very area 3 years ago and her school was our parish. Scary to think that you know your neighbors but then again do we REALLY know them??
Here is the story in our newspaper:
ofallonjournal.stltoday.com/articles/2007/11/13/news/sj2tn20071110-1111stc_pokin_1.ii1.txt

The fact that the mom who started this went to the funeral and said she was suicidal anyway is just the most awful thing I have ever heard.

Megan’s mom (Tina) blames herself. So for those that say “her daughter shouldn’t have been on Myspace” I think that the mom regrets it without others having to say such things

All involved will remain in my prayers.

 

[latin_rite]

"The fact that the mom who started this went to the funeral and said she was suicidal anyway is just the most awful thing I have ever heard. "
If i was the parent of the deceased girl. And if the women who caused the sucide of my daughter went to her funeral and said that. Honestly. I would kill her there and then. I know what i just said might get edited or deleted. But thats how i feel.

 

[rayne89]

"The fact that the mom who started this went to the funeral and said she was suicidal anyway is just the most awful thing I have ever heard. "
If i was the parent of the deceased girl. And if the women who caused the sucide of my daughter went to her funeral and said that. Honestly. I would kill her there and then. I know what i just said might get edited or deleted. But thats how i feel.

At the time of the funeral the parents did not know that this woman was behind the myspace page. What the woman said was at the funeral she heard that Megan had been suicidal in the past so she didn’t feel that guilty about her part in it. (She didn’t say that at the funeral I believe she said it to the police.)

 

[mamacita]

At the time of the funeral the parents did not know that this woman was behind the myspace page. What the woman said was at the funeral she heard that Megan had been suicidal in the past so she didn’t feel that guilty about her part in it. (She didn’t say that at the funeral I believe she said it to the police.)

**You are correct, the parents of Megan did not know at the funeral that the the neighbors had played a part in it. I don’t think they knew for sure that Josh was a fake person either at that point.

About the suicide comment, whether it was told to the police or said at the funeral, either way it is still an awful, hateful comment. And the whole idea of the family down the street pressing charges for their foosball table/lawn job, how hateful can you get? They ‘had played a part’ in Megan taking her own life and they have the nerve to press charges over a foosball table???

I, as a parent will be VERY careful in who my kids pick as friends (and NO Myspace/Facebook, etc accounts allowed in our home), you can never be too careful. The scary part is the parents were friends w/ the lady that did this, they never thought she was this type of person. So just how DO** you know if someone would pull this cr** on your family? That’s what I am wondering

 

[WonderfulLife]

One life ended in death and others are now shattered because of this. I hope the people responsible for this will be prosecuted for murder.

I read this story too and was heartbroken.

The woman, an adult, who organized and perpetrated this evil, Lori Drew, will not be prosecuted for murder, slander, stalking or harassment. The online world can be a very dangerous space with the presence of only a few pyschopaths combined with the apathy and desperation of online others who watch it happening without saying anything or who think it’s ‘fun’ and ‘high-drama’. It’s clear that existing laws against this kind of behavior need to be enforced.

This is an existing law :

*"January 10, 2006

President Bush signed legislation last Thursday that disallows the posting or e-mailing of messages intended to annoy people without having included your true identity…

“Whoever…utilizes any device or software that can be used to originate telecommunications or other types of communications that are transmitted, in whole or in part, by the Internet… without disclosing his identity and with intent to annoy, abuse, threaten, or harass any person…who receives the communications…shall be fined under title 18 or imprisoned not more than two years, or both.” *

en.wikinews.org/wiki/Annoying_someone_online_becomes_federal_crime

Unfortunately this kind of abuse and cyber-stalking is increasing dramatically.

There is a pattern to this behavior. I hope and pray that when ordinary people come across this situation on boards and online sites that they take care to reach out to the person who is being isolated. You may save a life.

This is an excellent site for what to look for:

bullyonline.org/workbully/serial.htm

bullyonline.org/workbully/bully.htm#Why

If you will look at the bottom of those pages, there are multiple links on various aspects of cyber-bullying.

Basically these stalkers are emotionally stunted and have severe mental disorders. In daily life they are generally shunned because their behavior is so unacceptable that people will not tolerate it. However, online, they can make up an alias (or 100 aliases) and vomit their mental illness out on unsuspecting others seemingly endlessly and without repurcussion.

Megan and her family will stay in my prayers from now on. I myself am currently being mobbed by a woman who has been obsessed with me for years and has recruited others to stalk me. I know exactly what it feels like to be helpless in the face of this great evil, and to have my experience minimized or ignored and distorted, to be isolated because others fear they will be next and so on.

This is the behavior pattern:

bullyonline.org/workbully/mobbing.htm

"…However, every group has a ringleader. If this ringleader is an extrovert it will be obvious who is coercing group members into mobbing the selected target.* If the ringleader is an introvert type, he or she is likely to be in the background coercing and manipulating group members into mobbing the selected target; introvert ringleaders are much more dangerous than extrovert ringleaders.**

In a mobbing situation, the ringleader incites supporters, cohorts, copycats and unenlightened, inexperienced, immature or emotionally needy individuals with poor values to engage in adversarial interaction with the selected target. The ringleader, or chief bully, gains gratification from encouraging others to engage in adversarial interaction with the target. Many people use the word “mobbing” to describe this pack attack by many on one individual. Once mobbing is underway the chief bully foments the mobbing into mutually assured destruction, from which** the chief bully gains intense gratification - this is a feature of people with psychopathic personality."***

Stalkers like this have power and control issues. They are manipulative and difficult to spot online. In my case, the woman makes multiple aliases to give her lies and behavior validation via posting as multiple people and by claiming to be the victimized party to strangers to build an online ‘stalking alliance’ of like-minded disordered personalities.

It is almost impossible to fight. The only way to win is not to play and I had to give up 6 years of online friendships to attempt to cut this woman out of my life because she infiltrated everyone I talked to online, in various personas, to track me for continued stalking.

(cont.)

 

[WonderfulLife]

Here is why it’s so hard to deal with:

*by this time the target is suffering a severe psychiatric injury, is traumatised and unable to articulate their circumstances - whilst the bully remains glib and plausible

trauma and fear combine to prevent the target from being able to find the right words to identify, unmask and call to account their tormentor (contact us for a list of phrases and strategies)

when the symptoms of psychiatric injury start to appear the bully plays the mental health trap, claiming this person “has a mental health problem” (psychiatric injury has nothing to do with mental illness - click here to see the differences)

the target has no knowledge of serial bullies, sociopaths, etc, and no experience of dealing with these characters

the bully relies on compulsive lying, Jekyll & Hyde nature, deception, deviousness, evasiveness and charm (click here for details) and uses denial, counter-attack, projection and feigning victimhood to evade accountability (click here for details). Charm has a motive - deception.

the serial bully abuses power, exhibits amoral behaviour and lacks conscience and remorse

there’s a lot of ignorance and unenlightenedness about bullying

the silence is deafening

denial is everywhere*

more here:
bullyonline.org/workbully/standup.htm

Considering the damage cause to me by one determined and obsessed 45 year old psychopath, as an adult, this little 13 year old girl never had a chance.

I hope this young girl’s death isn’t totally in vain and that people’s hearts will be moved to be more aware and more outspoken when they notice ongoing harassment happening to others. Please don’t be silent - think of Megan and remember that it could be you or your child and speak up for the victims of these kind of online assaults.

Also, please pray with me that God will protect the innocent from people who choose this kind of evil, and that those who gain satisfaction from torturing helpless others will have a change of heart and become decent and moreso, that people on the sidelines will be compassionate and brave enough to stand up for people being victimized. Join me also in praying for Megan and her grieving family.

This kind of behavior cannot continue when other people stand up to it en masse and do not allow it.

Please excuse the length of this post but this issue is very important to me.

 

[deb1]

So sad and so many issues here. The teenage years are hard enough for kids; harder still when you mix in parents who revert to childish behavior to control their kids’ lives.

On another note, am I old-fashioned for thinking that 13 is too young to be chatting with unknown “cute boys” on the internet?

Girls at thirteen are interested in boys so it doesn’t seem unreasonable that she might get interested in a boy met through myspace.

I don’t understand why the mother who drove this girl to suicide isn’t charged with murder.

 

[KathyCatholic]

I hope the have their head hung down in shame the rest of their lives and pray their child doest suffer the same fate!

 

[masondoggy]

This is just horrible. I can’t even imagine that there was an “adult” behind this horrible, evil game.

 

[Corki]

I also feel so bad for the neigbor (“ringleaders”) own daughter and other children. To know that your own mother is a monster like that and that she killed someone who, if not a friend, was still a classmate and neighbor. She probably will have to change schools and since this is so well circulated, the shameful event will likely follow her to her new school too even if they leave town. The family should, in fact, leave town for the safety of their own children. People get a lynch mob mentality over people who kill children. Those poor kids hardly have a chance to grow up with a normal life. So sad all around.

 

[Digitonomy]

deb1:

I don’t understand why the mother who drove this girl to suicide isn’t charged with murder.

She didn’t murder the girl. The girl committed suicide. I suppose she could be in some sense an accessory to suicide, but I’m not sure if the crime is legally constructed in that way, and since it’s doubtful she had intent for anything serious, she is probably innocent of all but harassment or the like.

 

[deb1]

She didn’t murder the girl. The girl committed suicide. I suppose she could be in some sense an accessory to suicide, but I’m not sure if the crime is legally constructed in that way, and since it’s doubtful she had intent for anything serious, she is probably innocent of all but harassment or the like.

I suppose that in a legal sense you are correct.

Ethically though, I think that a person who knowingly tortures another person that is known to be depressed is guilty of assisting in the resulting suicide.

Isn’t this a bit like handing a known alcoholic who you know is drunk the keys to your car and helping them into the driver’s seat. If someone dies aren’t you culpable, also? Maybe what is considered legal and what is ethical are two different things.

 

[deb1]

I also feel so bad for the neigbor (“ringleaders”) own daughter and other children. To know that your own mother is a monster like that and that she killed someone who, if not a friend, was still a classmate and neighbor. She probably will have to change schools and since this is so well circulated, the shameful event will likely follow her to her new school too even if they leave town. The family should, in fact, leave town for the safety of their own children. People get a lynch mob mentality over people who kill children. Those poor kids hardly have a chance to grow up with a normal life. So sad all around.

It makes you wonder what the life of this one child might be like. If her mother is so cold blooded as to drive another child to suicide how does she treat her own daughter, especially if that daughter doesn’t always agree with her?