Mom's Lesbian Wedding

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You should talk to your priest, that is what they are there for. Not only can he help you think this through but he can also pray for you and your mother.

I don’t think you should go, your going would be painted as supporting the marriage and no amount of qualifying will ever change that. I know it is very hard, we all want to make our loved ones happy but sometimes we can’t.

Prayers!
 
I have two aunts that I love very much and they never decided to get “married” even though it would make their lives a little easier. I am the only one in my family that has helped them because they’re too old to do much for themselves anymore. However, for years I have said that I wouldn’t go to a ceremony of any kind had they decided to go through with it and my whole family knows it. As would be the case with my aunts, as it is in your family, this is not a wedding but I vain egotistical desecration. You don’t have to accept everything a person does in order to love them, but there comes a time when one must draw the line. I feel bad for you, had it been my mother I would feel pressure as well. May God give you the wisdom to do the right thing.
 
It’s a grotesque mockery of holy matrimony.
Still, he should talk to a priest. Preferably one with a strong grasp of moral theology.
 
I’m honestly tired of your dismissive language towards people who disagree with you. You dismiss young people who attend EF as just a few hipsters. Now, you’re acting like this is your average scruples thread instead of someone trying to avoid appearing to approve of a grave evil.

You are a great argument for why we need the Ignore Feature back on CAF.
 
No, it is not and never will be. Decades of social engineering and spoon fed manipulation will not change that fact. Unions such as these never produce children, nor do they contribute to societal health and well being, nor do they bring about anything but division and total perversion as most of this “culture” is nothing but absolutely perverse. You can believe that these are “weddings” all you want just so that you can make your life a little more convenient as millions of others have done, but it still will change nothing.
 
AndrewAxland said:
There is no “tough moral position” here. The priest has much more important things to do than deal with matters like this.
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Yes, there is a tough moral decision. Even if there’s no actual moral issue here, the OP believes there is and is uncertain what’s right to do.

And the priest may have more important things to do but that doesn’t mean the OP’s problem is unimportant.
Even if all the priest has to say is “Sure, no problem. Go attend the event and make your mother happy”; that still resolves the OP’s dilemma --which is important to him if not to anyone else.
I do have an opinion on what’s right to do here but I am neither priest nor theologian, and it’s not my family.

rbrandon: talk to your priest.
 
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That’s why you require the state in order to force us to play along.
 
In my humble opinion, a woman marrying a woman is a contradiction in and of itself as it is not what God considers a marriage.

" … you need to do this thing because you owe her, after all the things your mom has done for you, you need to fulfill all of that and attend a lesbian “wedding”".

That sounds like conditional love to me … “if you loved me, you would do this or that for me”

Perhaps those that are saying this to you don’t have a clear concept of agape, takes a lifetime to learn.

I would text my mom, tell her I love her unconditionally, do not condone this “marriage”, will stay her son for the rest of our natural lives, and not attend the “ceremony”

Yes, you are in a very tough situation. Pray your way through.

Blessings.
Kevin
 
J_the_Centrist said:
That’s why you require the state in order to force us to play along.
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I don’t require anything with regards to this issue. I wouldn’t invite anyone to my wedding who didn’t want to be there, son or not. No “playing along” welcome.
 
You know, you are insulting the OP’s family by suggesting they can’t have empathy for his position and realize how hard this is for him. He said his mother was once Catholic which probably means more of his family is Catholic. So they very likely already have opinions on what Catholics are and aren’t.

It isn’t the OP’s job to preserve the appearance of Catholics.
 
I would rather be a donkeyhole that holds the words of Christ than a “good guy” who says society and what they think of me is more important than the words of Jesus.

Think of St. Stephen as Saul (later to be St. Paul) hurls a rock to bash in his head because Stephen said he could see God riding down on the clouds from heaven.

After the first rock, maybe he would have been better off if he said, “Ooops! Sorry, did I say I believed in God, nope nevermind, was a figment, maybe a trick of the light in the sky, nevermind! Quit throwing stones at me, I said I don’t believe in God anymore!”
 
How can you claim to be Catholic and not the see the problem here? A witness to a wedding is claiming support of it if they attend. Under no circumstances should the OP attend the wedding. Maybe the reception is okay though.

The OP must sit down and explain to his mother that God intended for a man to leave his parents and cling to his wife. Start with Genesis. If she doesn’t want to hear it, explain that this is important to you, to be heard. When she doesn’t listen, it’s on her. OP: Your job is bigger than you think, that is to get her to call off the wedding. You will have to do some research beforehand and even role play to get better at explaining things.

It is never brattish to tell the truth, never donkey-like.
 
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And I would rather be a good guy who holds to the words of Christ.
 
AndrewAxland said:
The inevitable outcome of this is that your family with be convinced beyond a doubt that your are nothing but a common donkeyhole and a selfish little brat, and there will be nothing you can do to convince them otherwise. Some may even cut you out of their lives. Is that what you want?
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That’s THEIR issue. Doing what God wants is FAR more important than sacrificing your own morals in order to please people and keep them around.
 
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Lara said:
Maybe the reception is okay though.
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I love how people posting here on this issue often think they are so fabulous that the hosts would want them at the receiption. If my wedding wasn’t good enough for someone to attend, they certainly wouldn’t be welcome at the after-party to celebrate. And yes, “good enough” is what it boils down to. Dress it up however you want (and I have read some dressing here, alright), it is about deciding someone doesn’t match your morality, so they aren’t good enough for you.
 
My parents are divorced, if one of them were to remarry I would not attend that wedding.

I definitely wouldn’t attend if one of them were marrying someone of the same sex.

But that’s me personally, my reasoning for doing so has more to do with my relationship with my parents than the morality behind the actions.
 
rbrandon said:
My family now is saying I should be ashamed of myself, and that after all my mom has done for me, I should go to support her.
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I support you in your choice not to go, as long as you make it clear to your mom that you still love her and still want to be part of her life. It is tough when you try to do the right thing, and then people criticize you for it and say that you are actually doing the wrong thing, especially if the ones criticizing you are people who you are very close to. I have experienced that feeling, and it is disheartening, to say the least.

My advice would be not to go. But having said that, if you wanted to go, not as an act of approval, but simply as an act of being there for your mom because you love and honor her, I don’t think it would necessarily be wrong to do so. I think it depends on a number of factors, such as whether your attendance might influence others to approve of same-sex unions, or how your father would feel about your attendance. (I assume that your mother and father probably were married, and in the absence of information to the contrary, I would assume that their marriage was, or actually is, valid. So even if your mother were marrying a man, I think that the position of your father, and how he feels about this, is something that must be considered.)
 
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It might feel difficult talking to your mother because of all of her emotions. But she got herself into this mess between her and her son. She knew the consequences or should have known the consequences.

Qwerty: By your logic, the son could never visit his Mom again for she’d never be good enough. His mother and partner will have other celebrations, such as the new “partner’s” birthday or cat’s birthday, and no doubt he can attend those. But the wedding is b.s. because the component elements are not there and it’s like attending a play, only the play is real life, and he’s right to avoid it.
 
AndrewAxland said:
Antipathy toward gay people and lesbians is no excuse to spoil an important family event.
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Do you believe that the only reason a person could oppose same sex “marriage” is “antipathy toward gay people and lesbians”?
 
You have to understand that everyone will never, that’s never, accept this lifestyle. Yes, as is true in my personal life I can differentiate between lifestyle choices and individuals but accepting lifestyle choices is a completely different matter and it will never happen with everyone. In fact, even as the former Vice President Joe Biden admitted a few years ago, much of this acceptance (among those that accept it) is the result of Hollywood and the media, but mostly Hollywood. Decades of being spoon fed lie after lie has led to this and even if I stand alone I will never bend my knee to this travesty.
 
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