Money and the catholic church - Sacraments denied

[decn2b]

You can put envelopes in the collection plate without any money in them. That way the church knows you are attending. Tell the priest of your circumstances and there should be no problem. Many people cannot give money but sing in the choir, help at Sunday school etc.

Also put a note in the envelope…I’m here!!!

The Knights of Columbus has been bothering me lately. I told the rep that I was being called to other functions other than KofC. I told him I chose to serve in other Capacities and I thought the KofC were wonderfull etc. etc. etc…

He then asked me If I was still active and if I still went to Mass. I came unglued on him and said, " yes I attend all of the masses each weekend and have not noticed you there, perhaps if you regularly attended masses you would not have to ask me if I have been going to church"

He was very silent after I made that statement

 

[Cristiano]

You should maybe if we all mention it when stuff like this happens it would stop. I currently can’t have my soon to be god son baptised because supposedly i’m not a member because the envelope didn’t tell my priest i was. he even married my sister and i was in the wedding but i’m not a member. they said i needed to put money in the envolopes for 3 months straight befor i would be considered a member. man whose in charge here? I can’t make jesus or god tell them

This situation appears more complicated than what you mentioned at the beginning. It seems to me that the problem is not with you or your membership in the parish. It appears to me that the child’s parents might not be in a regular position with that parish. They are the ones responsible to make sure that every thing falls into place not you. Your commitment is to support the spiritual formation of the child, theirs is to raise a Catholic man. It is their job to prove that, not yours. Maybe that was what the priest was alluding to.

 

[undeserving]

All this sounds so strange-in India- I shift quiet often from city to city, my job requires it, I meet the parish priest of the church in whose parish my new home falls, I show him the “Parish Book” of my previous parish, and thats it.I get a new parish book. No demands are made for money, contributions are made in the plate pased around during mass. A monthlycontribution is required consisting of 1% percent of your salary, which you need not prove.For special contributions, like mission sunday, or for collections for a sick person who cannot afford treatment announcememts are made for which we are required to conntribute only if we can. I do not think the Catholic church in India is the richest in the world and they manage pretty well without laying down any monatory conditions…

 

[jc-servant]

I hope that your parish is not truly just looking to squeeze donations out of people who possibly cannot afford it. It could be that you got a disheartening answer about envelopes due to problems they are having with other people.

We have had a problem at my very large parish with people who are not registered (or occasionally even Catholic) wanting to use our gorgeous permanent church for weddings. There is a struggle to have enough dates available even for registered parishioners since weddings are limited to 3 per day on Saturdays only. One lady accosted our pastor while the church was under construction to say that she wanted her g-daughter’s wedding there. None of the family was Catholic. She got really angry and tried to argue with him that it was a “public venue.”

I agree that you should turn in an envelope with only a quarter or a note if that is what you can truly afford each week. I can remember in college when I sometimes didn’t even have the quarter! However, you should also make certain that you are “registered” with the parish because that is the real requirement for getting sacraments there, not a donation.

BTW, in a hospital if you list yourself as Catholic you will be put on the list for a visit from whomever covers that hospital for ministry which may not be your local parish. I had a friend who was visited by the Catholic chaplain, her current parish and her old parish to see if she needed communion when she had an emergency c-section (none of which she specifically requested).

 

[manualman]

You misunderstand. Get registered (you aren’t if you grew up there and never registered as an adult). Get envelopes. Dig a dime out of the couch cushions every week for three months, then go back.

If they refuse you and tell you you haven’t given enough money, I’ll send you $50. Try me.

 

[Brendan]

I
I agree that you should turn in an envelope with only a quarter or a note if that is what you can truly afford each week. I can remember in college when I sometimes didn’t even have the quarter! However, you should also make certain that you are “registered” with the parish because that is the real requirement for getting sacraments there, not a donation.

.

As many posters have stated, the issue is with attendance at Church on Sundays, not with any money given.

Try this for a year, great the priest after Mass if possible, send him holiday cards and all at the same time, turn in an empty envelope.

I guarantee that the priest will have zero objection to your recieving the Sacraments. It’s all about being their on Sunday, not about any cash.

God already has plenty of that, after all, He’s God. What He wants from His people is to come to Mass regualarly and to participate in the Life of His Church

 

[netmilsmom]

I myself tryed to get my friens to have her child baptisd in the church we are both completly broke can barley put food on the table. she wanted me to be the god mom but because we can’t give money they would not allow us to do. I came too them while she was still pregnant and asked them how we go about doing it and they said become members. this is where i told them i had been a member since i was a child and that i had just missed a few sundays because some times i have to work and they told me that they had no i dea i was a member and that the only way to become one would be to fill out the form and put money in the envelopes every sunday. they said we had to do this for 3 months staright. if your broke how do you do this. i can barley pay for the gas to get there

I’m so sorry this happened to you.
I’m assuming you get envelopes, right? Throw your pocket change into it. I’ve been where you are and sometimes the change I found in the couch was all I had. If there is nothing there, throw the envelope in with a thank you note.

I always believed that God give you what you need. If you need money, give money. It may take some time but He gives it back 10 fold…

And understand that I’m in a parish where we make do with what we have. We never collect for weekdays or Holy Days and only during the Diocese $$$ drives does our pastor ask for money.

 

[Karin]

You misunderstand.** Get registered (you aren’t if you grew up there and never registered as an adult). Get envelopes. Dig a dime out of the couch cushions every week for three months, then go back.**

If they refuse you and tell you you haven’t given enough money, I’ll send you $50. Try me.

totally agree…this has nothing to do with money but with registering as an adult at the Parish.

 

[axolotl]

I this is where i told them i had been a member since i was a child and that i had just missed a few sundays because some times i have to work and they told me that they had no i dea i was a member and that the only way to become one would be to fill out the form and put money in the envelopes every sunday. they said we had to do this for 3 months staright. if your broke how do you do this. i can barley pay for the gas to get there

Did you actually register as a member of the parish when you became a grown-up? Sign up, get your envelopes, and go to Mass. Don’t worry about the money, just stick your envelope in. That way they’ll know you go to Mass and are indeed a practicing Catholic.

 

[yessisan]

has anybody else noticed that the church is getting more repped around money. I know so many people that could be part of a sacrement or couldn’t have theres because they were no longer considerd members. when asked why, they responded with " you haven’t put money in the envelope in a while. how do we know your even coming to church if you don’t put money in the envelope?" this is truly messed up and has made alot of my friends and family turn away from the church,not the religion.

I’ve never had such experience at my Parish. Actually, when my brother died in 6/2004, the Priest offered to give his little girls a scholarship to go to the Catholic school that belongs to the Parish. The $ is used for so many purposes but I’ve never been denied a Sacrament due to $$.

Plus, I never use the envelopes, I just put the money in the basket. They don’t track you down if there is no envelope w/your name on it… or do they?

 

[boppaid]

This must be either a mis-conception or an excuse of not going to church.

No Catholic parish will deny sacraments from people who don’t put donation in the envelop. period.

Mine did. I was told that they took me off the parishener list because I did not offer envelopes. They thought I “left”. (Hmmm I doubt it.) My dd couldnt be baptised there.

 

[boppaid]

If you are active in the ministries of the parish there is no need for you to use envelopes for your Sunday offering, cash in the basket is enough. The pastor should know you well if you sing in the choir, carry the Eucharist to the homebound, clean the sanctuary, mowing the grass, volunteer in the nursery, teach Faith Formation, are a Sponsor in RCIA, etc.

Envelopes are there for the 90% who are NOT involved in the parish programs and ministries.

Unfortunately, someone like me working 3 jobs, going to school fulltime do all they can … sometimes that’s just going to mass. Should I be denied a sacrament?

 

[boppaid]

totally agree…this has nothing to do with money but with registering as an adult at the Parish.

Good point.

 

[axolotl]

Mine did. I was told that they took me off the parishener list because I did not offer envelopes. They thought I “left”. (Hmmm I doubt it.) My dd couldnt be baptised there.

Did you put in empty envelopes or not put in envelopes at all? An empty envelope at least tells them you’re there. If you go long enough without recorded attendence, they’ll assume you’ve moved on and purged you from the rolls.

Many priests won’t baptize in this situation. Why would they think you’ll raise the child in the faith if it appears you don’t even go to mass?

 

[boppaid]

Did you put in empty envelopes or not put in envelopes at all? An empty envelope at least tells them you’re there. If you go long enough without recorded attendence, they’ll assume you’ve moved on and purged you from the rolls.

Many priests won’t baptize in this situation. Why would they think you’ll raise the child in the faith if it appears you don’t even go to mass?

Well, first of all he should have taken my word when I told him that I did go to mass. My gosh, if I’d lie about something like that!!..well, God knows my heart! I never thought of putting EMPTY envelopes in the collection…is not thinking of it a reason for not being able to baptise my child?

 

[maryjk]

Well, first of all **he should have taken my word **when I told him that I did go to mass. My gosh, if I’d lie about something like that!!..well, God knows my heart! I never thought of putting EMPTY envelopes in the collection…is not thinking of it a reason for not being able to baptise my child?

Not if he has a number of people that tell him that, and they are people he has never seen. I am sure that there are plenty of people that would lie about it.

The reason for not performing a Baptism is because the Priest is not sure you are an active member, not because you did not think of putting in empty envelopes. For the next month after Mass, stop and talk to the Priest. Just take 5 minutes out of your day and say hi. It shouldn’t be a problem, you are already there. At the end of the month, ask about it again. See if you get a different answer.

 

[KatieD]

I have to agree with the other posters who have recommended that you make sure you are actually a registered parishioner. Also, it’s wonderful that a godparent attends Mass regularly, but the parents are the ones who will raise the child, and they should be attending if this is truly important. The Church wants to make sure that the child being baptized will be raised in the faith, not just “checking off” the sacrament on the list of sacraments. They aren’t making sure you give them money, they are making sure the sacrament is being taken seriously.

 

[puzzleannie]

has anybody else noticed that the church is getting more repped around money. I know so many people that could be part of a sacrement or couldn’t have theres because they were no longer considerd members. when asked why, they responded with " you haven’t put money in the envelope in a while. how do we know your even coming to church if you don’t put money in the envelope?" this is truly messed up and has made alot of my friends and family turn away from the church,not the religion.

“the Church” is not some pastors, some church secretaries, some DREs etc. so please do not make such blanket accusations, they are useless for the purpose of sensible discussion.

There is a canon law that prohibits charging a fee for sacraments, and prohibits any kind of financial test, registering in a parish etc. as a test. There is also a canon law that says the pastor must discern the individual’s readiness and dispostion for the sacrament and insure that they (or their parents and godparents in the case of infants and children) have been properly prepared and are worthily disposed for the sacraments, and have the intent to benefit from what the sacraments promise. So if, for instance, parents who reside in the parish boundaries but are unknown to the pastor ask to have a child baptized, the pastor is within his rights, and indeed obliged, to ascertain if they are practicing Catholics and intend to bring up the child in the Catholic faith.

the reason incidentally parishes ask you to register and to use envelopes or some other organized, trackable method of making your donations is that we are required by IRS law to account for donations and to give you a statement at the end of the year for tax purposes, so don’t blame us for following the law.

 

[Seatuck]

Well, first of all he should have taken my word when I told him that I did go to mass. My gosh, if I’d lie about something like that!!..well, God knows my heart! I never thought of putting EMPTY envelopes in the collection…is not thinking of it a reason for not being able to baptise my child?

There is supposed to be a well founded hope that a child will be raised Catholic for a priest to baptize a child. If you are not involved in the parish and don’t maintain registration how else is the priest supposed to know? This is a big church with lots of people. How can he take your word when he doesn’t know what your word is worth? People have a habit of just using parishes for their sacraments.

 

[Al_Masetti]

Sometimes … “diplomatic persistence” … is called for.

You have no idea how many times people “misrepresent” themselves to pastors or parish staff. I have been told of stories of people who steal Consecrated Hosts. In one case, a Protestant minister (not a Catholic priest) was approached for money but the minister had given out all his money … so he was fatally stabbed; it shocked the entire inner city community … Protestant, Catholic and Jewish clergy were stunned. Sometimes some priests are just worn out.

Anyway, one day, I got a call from a person in another city complaining about difficulty getting a priest to visit someone in hospice … death was expected any day. From thousands of miles away, I was able to arrange a schedule of visits by a priest, anointings, and everything that was needed, with one phone call. This was in a city where I didn’t know anyone. So, sometimes you just need to keep trying or ask around for someone who might know the right words to use.

I have known many pastors who routinely arranged for the Mass of Christian Burial for non-parishioners and even for total strangers, without looking for any credit and without any payment. In a couple of cases, pastors even provided a burial plot at no charge.

I remember one pastor who was a little “grouchy”; it turned out he had just checked himself out of a hospital after bypass surgery. He left a few days early!!! He was in a lot of pain, but he wanted to be back at his parish!

So, I would advise some “patient diplomatic persistence”. Ask: “How can we do this?”.

It’s two different things when a non-Catholic wants to use a Catholic church to be married and when a Catholic who is not registered wants to be baptized or buried.

Sometimes one pastor may be rigorously following some diocesan rule, but the pastor in the next parish might be willing to be more flexible.