Money and the severe lack of it

  • Thread starter Thread starter kellyb32
  • Start date Start date
Status
Not open for further replies.
K

kellyb32

Guest
I know we all have financial issues, some worse than others and I know that my problems are nothing compared to what others must endure, especially those who lost everything in hurricane Katrina. I pray for those who are suffering not only loss of homes, jobs, but family as well.

If anyone can relate to me, encourage me, or pray for me, I would be so grateful.

My husband just got news of a dollar raise but he is being cut down to 35 hours a week so it works out that he’s making $15 less each week, not a big deal but every penny helps in our case.

I’m still behind on some bills since he was laid off for July and the bit of help we get from food stamps is enough for groceries for 2 weeks. We do have medical through the social services as well. I also get WIC so that is a blessing too.

My husband refuses to find a second job. I find his reasons ridiculous but to him they’re legitmate and he’s talked to his office manager about our situation and he also agrees with my husband that finding a second part time job wouldn’t be a good idea right now… There are no better paying jobs in our area, he’d have to commute anywhere from 30-45 minutes each way in order to find a job that paid maybe a dollar or 2 more than what he’s making but with gas prices being what they are and rising, he’d lose more money by having to commute.

So basically we are stuck between a rock and a hard place since I’m unable to work due to the pregnancy and won’t be working outside my house until at least the middle of november.

I’m discouraged, disgusted and depressed (again) over our situation.

I don’t know what to do, I can’t turn to family for help because they are in just as bad shape as we are and my parents have enough on their plate to be worried about since my dad’s been diagonsed with a golf ball size tumor on his lung. They are being kind enough to take my daughter clothes shopping for school so we don’t have to worry about that. I’m grateful for that.

I have a lot of good in my life, I recognize that and I try to make that my focus. But when it comes time to sit and write out the bills, I see that we can’t afford to pay them in full or else I won’t have the money to buy diapers for my son, necessities for the house and groceries that are needed for the next 2 weeks. I worry about what’s going to happen when baby #4 comes along. If we’re struggling now, it’s only going to get worse since we have another baby to buy things for.

I’ve had to use the credit card, much to my displeasure, to buy a lot of our necessities over the last 2 months because we just simply didn’t have the cash. We only made $700 for the month of July, combined income (I’m a bookkeeper so I can work from home). That put us back horribly. I’m still trying to play catch up.

My husband won’t take care of the bills because as he’s told me numerous times that he’s got enough to deal with.

He’s the main reason I’m seeking therapy to help me cope with our situation and his whole attitude towards me.

I wish that there was a way for us to increase our income. I told my husband all we need is about 600-700 dollars more each month for us to begin getting out of debt and not having to use the credit card for any purchases.

That’s not a lot of money, but it’s impossible for me to convince him to find a part time job for 15 hours a week, even if it’s only temporary. He wouldn’t make the amount we need, but at least it would help us out somewhat. He just refuses, end of story. Discussing it isn’t an option anymore.

So in a nutshell, I’m just asking for prayer mostly. I need wisdom and peace about our situation. There is nothing that we can cut out of our spending. We haven’t gone on a date alone to see a movie or have dinner in over a year. Treating the kids to a happy meal is a luxury. We only have one vehicle. Neither of us have gone clothes shopping since before we were married. Now we go to the Salvation Army if we need something. If it weren’t for the clothes given to my kids at birthdays and christmas, they would be wearing clothes from the salvation army too. I cut my kids and my husband’s hair. I get my hair cut maybe once or twice a year. This is just a few of the ways we cut corners to avoid spending money.

I know how to support a family of 5 on $18,000 a year. It’s just I’m really tired of shuffling bills around to see who’ll take a small payment this month so I can pay off someone else just so we don’t lose our utilites or credit rating.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know that it’s easy to say things will get better…but I’ve been dealing with the same kind of stuff in my marriage for 13 years now. I’m worn out. People always tell me, “you just need to concern yourself with delivering a healthy baby.”

I wish it were that easy…

Please pray for us.

Thank you.
 
Kelly, I know where you are. I am there too. Right now, I find the whole idea of looking at the bills so overwhelming, I haven’t sorted out the mail basket in weeks! I just pay what I need to get by. The only difference is that my husband does work 2 jobs! And he is always trying to get a better paying primary job. It just hasn’t happened yet. Sometimes financial difficulties can be so heavy.
All I know is that somehow or other, we always make it. We may never get ahead, or even completely caught up, but we always make it. And we have never had to go hungry, praise be to God! We have 4 children too. And, silly as it seems, I would really love to have another. My husband thinks I’m crazy as we barely keep our heads above water now!
Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly deprived, I just throw caution to the wind and take the kids out to eat for lunch. A little can go a long way off the Wendy’s $1 menu! And it certainly does a lot for the spirit. Just one day of letting go of the burden can help tremendously. The bills will still be there tomorrow, and probably wouldn’t get paid off with an extra $10 anyway. I’m not advocating this in excess, mind you, but in a pinch, it is a lifesaver.
I don’t want to give you too many pointers, because sometimes a person just needs to feel depressed and doesn’t need a lot of “advice”. And while we all feel terrible for the tremendous loss of those in the south, it doesn’t make your own burdens seem much lighter, does it? Especially when the struggling has gone on for years ( @ 12 total in my case) or you empty your wallet into the basket on Sundays and still have given less than you should. But one thing does help us. I don’t know if you have an Aldi or Save-A-Lot near you, but those stores where you bag your own groceries can save you a bundle on food. I also do a tremendous amount of buying in bulk. The garden helps us out a lot too. I don’t think we will have to buy veggies for months! We are in the same boat with haircuts and clothing. My kids get clothes for birthdays too! 🙂 And lots of people give us nice hand-me-downs. We really appreciate this!
I guess, in the end, it is just comforting to know that “this, too, shall pass”. It won’t take much for you to bounce back. Just wait until you see that new little one’s precious face! The bills won’t even cross your mind. 😃 I hope that, in the long run, we will be able to look back on our struggles, and see how they have helped to add to our character and strength. We will probably do nothing but praise God for seeing us through the dark times, and bringing us out on the other side, better for having weathered the storm.

PS I will pray for you and your family. Especially for your husband. Sorry for the long post. This issue really hits home for me! :o
 
i will certainly pray for you…i am not currently in that exact situation but i am very familiar with it and i know how stressful it can be and also how that stress seems to infect other areas of your life. im curious even though you said its not up for discussion anymore, but what are you husbands reasons for not getting a part time job…i cant imagine not getting another job if my family were struggling like that.

maybe you could do the bills together so that both of you see what is going on…he seems to be in denial and doesnt want to take a really good look at the situation. certainly he can help you with the bills…right?
 
40.png
legeorge:
Kelly, I know where you are. I am there too. Right now, I find the whole idea of looking at the bills so overwhelming, I haven’t sorted out the mail basket in weeks! I just pay what I need to get by. The only difference is that my husband does work 2 jobs! And he is always trying to get a better paying primary job. It just hasn’t happened yet. Sometimes financial difficulties can be so heavy.
All I know is that somehow or other, we always make it. We may never get ahead, or even completely caught up, but we always make it. And we have never had to go hungry, praise be to God! We have 4 children too. And, silly as it seems, I would really love to have another. My husband thinks I’m crazy as we barely keep our heads above water now!
Sometimes, when I am feeling particularly deprived, I just throw caution to the wind and take the kids out to eat for lunch. A little can go a long way off the Wendy’s $1 menu! And it certainly does a lot for the spirit. Just one day of letting go of the burden can help tremendously. The bills will still be there tomorrow, and probably wouldn’t get paid off with an extra $10 anyway. I’m not advocating this in excess, mind you, but in a pinch, it is a lifesaver.
I don’t want to give you too many pointers, because sometimes a person just needs to feel depressed and doesn’t need a lot of “advice”. And while we all feel terrible for the tremendous loss of those in the south, it doesn’t make your own burdens seem much lighter, does it? Especially when the struggling has gone on for years ( @ 12 total in my case) or you empty your wallet into the basket on Sundays and still have given less than you should. But one thing does help us. I don’t know if you have an Aldi or Save-A-Lot near you, but those stores where you bag your own groceries can save you a bundle on food. I also do a tremendous amount of buying in bulk. The garden helps us out a lot too. I don’t think we will have to buy veggies for months! We are in the same boat with haircuts and clothing. My kids get clothes for birthdays too! 🙂 And lots of people give us nice hand-me-downs. We really appreciate this!
I guess, in the end, it is just comforting to know that “this, too, shall pass”. It won’t take much for you to bounce back. Just wait until you see that new little one’s precious face! The bills won’t even cross your mind. 😃 I hope that, in the long run, we will be able to look back on our struggles, and see how they have helped to add to our character and strength. We will probably do nothing but praise God for seeing us through the dark times, and bringing us out on the other side, better for having weathered the storm.

PS I will pray for you and your family. Especially for your husband. Sorry for the long post. This issue really hits home for me! :o
Click to expand...
Thank you…thank you very much for the kind words, I needed this.

Aldi and Save-a-lot are where we do most of our shopping with our food stamps, we get a lot more food for a lot less money. I do buy in bulk (dry goods mostly). We are hoping to eventually get a freezer so we can buy meat in bulk and freeze it. Our garden is small but I got tons of green beans, tomatoes and zuchinni this year.

You are so right about the baby. In my darkest moments I thought of giving her up for adoption so she didn’t have to endure a poor family life. Of course that isn’t an option, but the thought has been there in the past. Now I want to see her and hold her. I find comfort in knowing that God blessed me a fourth time with a precious life. It’s taken a lot for me to get here.

I agree with the “splurging”. That’s why we take the kids to get the happy meals so they can get a little surprise once in a while. It’s a change from peanut butter and jelly all the time for lunch.

As for the loss in the south, it is horrible but I do feel like you said, it doesn’t lessen the burden I feel about my situation…I second what our weatherman said, I would rather deal with a blizzard and snow storms than hurricanes or tornados. At least you still have your house. I try to keep perspective on all the good God has given to me. We never have gone hungry either and we’ve never been without a roof over our heads (only once when we were forced to move in with my parents 8 years ago but at least we had someplace to go…)

I try to praise the Lord and pray without sounding too whiny, but I don’t think I’m doing very good. I know He understands and will continue to guide me and my family. He’s gotten us this far, and I know He won’t leave me or forsake me.

God bless you.
 
A bit of advice from someone who has lived the corporate life for many years – your husband’s boss has a vested interest in your husband NOT seeking a second/better paying job. The fact that this company gave your husband a raise before cutting his hours tells me that they wish to retain your husband as an employee (the fastest way to get an undesirable employee to leave is to cut their hours) – they gave the raise as a way to offset the hours cut and reduce the risk of him leaving.

By all means, he should get his resume together and start looking – get in touch with employment agencies or a “headhunter”. The best time to find a job is when you already have a job – and when your hours are cut, it is time to look elsewhere.

As a second piece of advice, check into Angel Food Ministries http://www.angelfoodministries.org/ if they are in your area, they are a resource for reduced food. Also, join Freecycle –

Prayers!
 
I know you are busy and overwhelmed with your precious family. I wonder if, using your bookkeeping skills, you could prepare a report for your husband (as if you were his personal accountant) showing the income and expenditures pictures in detail, month-by-month and category-by-category. Not to challenge him, not to make him feel inadequate, but to inform him. And to show you that he is on your side. For you, passing on this information will relieve some of the stress and also help you fine tune your budgeting. He probably feels constrained right now, it is difficult for a man to be unable to support his family. And keep looking for the good in your husband. It makes all the difference in the world to a marriage.
 
40.png
martino:
i will certainly pray for you…i am not currently in that exact situation but i am very familiar with it and i know how stressful it can be and also how that stress seems to infect other areas of your life. im curious even though you said its not up for discussion anymore, but what are you husbands reasons for not getting a part time job…i cant imagine not getting another job if my family were struggling like that.

maybe you could do the bills together so that both of you see what is going on…he seems to be in denial and doesnt want to take a really good look at the situation. certainly he can help you with the bills…right?
Click to expand...
His reasons are because I’m not really able to do much around the house (cleaning the floors, chasing the little ones, doing the laundry, mowing the lawn, etc.) because of the incompetent cervix. If he were to get a second job, he said he couldn’t take care of these things and the little ones too. So our house would be a little messier than he’s used to. Big deal. Our house is immaculate compared to other people we know who have small children. It drives me nutso sometimes. He comes from a background where his mom worked all the time and his dad (who was an alcoholic and did drugs) worked here and there but was usually on comp or disability for one reason or another.

In his defense, he’s getting better, at least he’s able to hold down a job now without getting POed and walking away from it like in the past. He’s been going to counseling for the last few months again too and the doctor and I have been encouraging him to continue with it even though he feels he’s getting better (he suffers from anxiety and panic attacks).

I’ve shown him the bills, compared them to the paystubs he’s received. I’ve asked him to give me (name removed by moderator)ut as to what he thinks we should pay. When I remind him that we have this due here and to keep such and such in mind because we also need to buy this and that for the house…he’ll get frustrated and tell me to do what I want. He’s one to leap at an escape route just so he doesn’t have to deal with something. He has no problem laying a burden on someone else (namely me) so he’s not responsible for an outcome.

He’s the kind of person to let something go for so long that someone else will take care of it or it’s too late to do anything about it and he forgets about it.

I was brought up with a strong work ethic. Do what you need to do to survive even if it means sacrificing. My dad wasn’t around much when I was small because he always worked. We spent time with him when he took his 2 week vacation each year. Even then it wasn’t a whole lot of time because he would work around the house to fix it up. My husband insists on spending time with the kids. But when it comes to taking care of them, you know…the work part of having kids, not the fun part…that’s a different story. He’ll complain and get upset if they wake up crying in the night. He’ll tell me to take care of it because he has to get up for work in the morning. Another example, if he gives them a bath, he won’t wash their hair because he doens’t want to struggle with them anymore…It’s frustrating for me. Very frustrating.

He doesn’t know how to take care of things in the house or with the van if something breaks down. I wish he were more handy, he “doesn’t have time” to learn about that stuff. Thank God for my dad and brother who’ll help me take care of something around my house or with my van so we don’t have to spend an arm and a leg on a professional.

My husband doesn’t have much time for anything that doesn’t pertain to him unfortunately. But he’s ever so slowly beginning to realize what a toll this has taken on me over the years. That’s one reason why he’s going to therapy, because deep down he doesn’t want to lose me so he’s willing to learn how to change. I just wish it would be sooner than later. I’m going to therapy to learn how to deal with him in a better way.

Hopefully we’ll get to the same page eventually. Miracles still happen.

God bless and thank you for the prayers, they are greatly appreciated.
 
Most of us deal with this at one time or another in our lives.

I will pray for you and your family.

It is hard when you feel you are doing it all alone.

I know a lot of people think it’s nuts, but if you can go to the library and find a set of books by a lady named Amy Dysygyn (I think), also known as the Frugal Zealot. She has a lot of good ideas. Even if you are an old-timer at this sort of thing, she still has some good “Yankee” values. And she’s funny!

If you have Angel Food or SHARE in your area, by all means, check it out. I like the aspect of SHARE that enourages the participants to donate 2-3 hours of service besides pay for the food unit. If those aren’t available. You might check into a food co-op. Instead of buying groceries at a store, everybody buys them together and has a distribution site. You might also be entitled to federal commodity groceries, such as beans, cheese, butter and milk. There are also kids’ clothes co-ops and recyclers, not just Salvation Army thrift stores (not that there’s anyhting wrong with those).

My husband and I are starting a business together, after he was RIFed from a major US company, and doing a part time apostolate. We are leaving a very comfortable income to depending on God and ourselves for such things as health insurance, retirement funds, etc. So, even though we are middle-aged, we are having to cut back big time on some of the things our granddaughters might have learned to take for granted, along with dinner out 3 nights a week, movies even if they’re good, new clothes, etc. So, even though we are older, we use thrift store clothes, shop at Aldi and the co-op, recycle for profit, and in general, watch it! And it is a tight squeeze.

I’m trying to tell you that you’re not alone in this. There are tons of us out here in a similar boat.

And yes, set aside whatever you think you can afford in your budget for a rare Happy Meal or ride on a carousel or even just a candy bar or a plastic toy!!!:bounce: My aunt used to call this “Food for the soul”.
 
I will definetly pray for you, Kelly. While I am not in a similar situation as yours currently, I grew up in one. My parents had three of us and their income was about 17,000 a year. There was times when things were very strained and tense. It is not easy to be in situations like this because, as my mom used to say, you hit a brick wall every time you turn around, financially. Not paying a credit card bill so you can have the lights on that month, so your credit gets destroyed. The constant “catch up” on bills…it’s very disheartening.

I pray that your situation will get better soon. God Bless you and your family.

Oh…and I remember when going and getting a happy meal every now and then meant an awesome day. Definetly keep up that habit. 🙂
 
40.png
kellyb32:
My husband refuses to find a second job. I find his reasons ridiculous but to him they’re legitmate and he’s talked to his office manager about our situation and he also agrees with my husband that finding a second part time job wouldn’t be a good idea right now… There are no better paying jobs in our area, he’d have to commute anywhere from 30-45 minutes each way in order to find a job that paid maybe a dollar or 2 more than what he’s making but with gas prices being what they are and rising, he’d lose more money by having to commute.

So basically we are stuck between a rock and a hard place
Click to expand...
I disagree. Give your husband space and he might come to the realization that he must moonlight a little even if it means earning minimum wage close to home. I can recall a father/husband of 4 sons who taught highschool math during the day and pumped gas in the late afternoon/early evening hours just to keep his family at home and fed. Your husband needs to do this. There is no shame in it all. Years from now your children will talk about how hard ‘Dad’ worked with great pride. Your husband can be the hero.
 
Kelly–Does your parish have a food pantry? Have you talked to your parish priest? Also, try contacting Catholic Charities in your diocese. There may be kind souls who are willing to help out with food and clothes, especially for children. My parish has a Thrift Shop and a Food Pantry and there are a lot of very blessed older people who would do anything for Father to help a family in need. I will pray for you and your family. God bless.
 
Kelly,
We are in a financial mess of our own so I can completely relate to the stress. My hubby works long hours and I work part time but with my health problems I have had to cut back because I simply become too exhausted. I have always handled the bills, mainly because hubby was in the Navy in the beginning of our marriage and it was just easier for me to do. But he also is very hands off and just wants me to make the decisions.

This is a lesson it took me years to learn, cost alot of heart ache and accomplished nothing but resentment. You can not change your husband into to who want him to be. My hubby isn’t handy around the house either - he tends to beak more then he fixes - so we either look to family or we have to pay for repairs.

I can absolutely sympathize with how your feeling. But your husband is not your dad. You have to love him for who he is. The harder you push the harder he’ll resist.

Try to think of all his good qualities. Let him know how much you appreciate him. Thank him for his help with the house keeping. Any small task he does, notice it appreciate it. If one time he actually washes the kids hair -that one time out of 100- show genuine appreciation for him doing that. Soemthing like “Thanks so much for doing that, I know how frustrating it can be.” Anything and everything that is postive re-enforce with loving praise. If he feels that loving acceptance he may surprise you and make some changes on his own.

Pay what you can, that’s all you can do. Trust that God will get you through this storm.

I am not saying this is an easy task. But the more pressure you put on husband to be who you think he should be the more he’ll feel you don’t accept him as a person and the more hurt it will cause. And the longer it will take for any fruitful change to come about.

It is frustrating -trust me I have been there. You fell in love with husband for a reason, try to remember those reasons. Sometimes when we marry, women especially (myself included), we have an idea of what our husband will be once we’re married. I also compared my husband to my dad in alot of ways - I think we often do that. Nobody want’s to be loved for who we want them to be, but for who they are. Being the same page will not mean your hubby will be on your page -it will mean meeting somewhere in the middle.

Pray the rosary, speak to our blessed mother -pour your heart out to her. You will get through this. You are in my prayers.
 
Kelly, Try not to get too discourage I have been digging out for about 3 years now. You are building character and a special place in Gods heart. Pray and trust and He will take care of the rest. Take this time in your life and offer it up it will pass and things will get better. I will say a prayer for you and your family tonight .

God Bless
Kathleen
 
Also check into every available opportunity for assitance. Most churches have food pantrys and know of many places that can provide assistance. They may know of organization that can help with diapers and other needed items.
 
40.png
kage_ar:
A bit of advice from someone who has lived the corporate life for many years – your husband’s boss has a vested interest in your husband NOT seeking a second/better paying job. The fact that this company gave your husband a raise before cutting his hours tells me that they wish to retain your husband as an employee (the fastest way to get an undesirable employee to leave is to cut their hours) – they gave the raise as a way to offset the hours cut and reduce the risk of him leaving.

By all means, he should get his resume together and start looking – get in touch with employment agencies or a “headhunter”. The best time to find a job is when you already have a job – and when your hours are cut, it is time to look elsewhere.

As a second piece of advice, check into Angel Food Ministries http://www.angelfoodministries.org/ if they are in your area, they are a resource for reduced food. Also, join Freecycle –

Prayers!
Click to expand...
Been there, done that. The only jobs offered by the local job agencies pay 7 dollars an hour, are temporary positions, and are a half hour away. We live in a poor area for good paying jobs. My husband was laid off for over 7 months last year (corporate downsizing victim) and we survived on a temp position he got as well as a part time position at Target after his unemployment ran out until he got the job he’s at now. That’s why I said it’s better he stays where he’s at (at least he can ride his bike to work to save gas).

Angelfood ministries doesn’t have anything close by, they are over 2 hours away. Thank you for the suggestion. If we ever got desperate enough for food, there are plenty of churches of all denominations in our area that will give you food, no questions asked.

Thank you for answering, and thank you especially for the prayers.

God bless.
 
40.png
Cupofkindness:
I know you are busy and overwhelmed with your precious family. I wonder if, using your bookkeeping skills, you could prepare a report for your husband (as if you were his personal accountant) showing the income and expenditures pictures in detail, month-by-month and category-by-category. Not to challenge him, not to make him feel inadequate, but to inform him. And to show you that he is on your side. For you, passing on this information will relieve some of the stress and also help you fine tune your budgeting. He probably feels constrained right now, it is difficult for a man to be unable to support his family. And keep looking for the good in your husband. It makes all the difference in the world to a marriage.
Click to expand...
How true…that’s one thing the doc and I discuss. My husband’s very fragile ego. He takes things that I say or do as an attack on him and his manhood. I have to be extra careful with what I say and or do around him, trying to say good things to pump him up. Even when I’m blunt and tell him, this isn’t an attack on how well you care for us, this is our reality, it’s easier for him to ignore the bills and let me take care of them.

He realizes what our situation is and at least doesn’t take money from an ATM to keep in his pocket anymore. He asks me now if we have the money when he needs to get something and won’t spend anything if I say no.

That’s a BIG step from where we were last year.

God bless.
 
40.png
OutinChgoburbs:
Most of us deal with this at one time or another in our lives.

I will pray for you and your family.

It is hard when you feel you are doing it all alone.

I know a lot of people think it’s nuts, but if you can go to the library and find a set of books by a lady named Amy Dysygyn (I think), also known as the Frugal Zealot. She has a lot of good ideas. Even if you are an old-timer at this sort of thing, she still has some good “Yankee” values. And she’s funny!

If you have Angel Food or SHARE in your area, by all means, check it out. I like the aspect of SHARE that enourages the participants to donate 2-3 hours of service besides pay for the food unit. If those aren’t available. You might check into a food co-op. Instead of buying groceries at a store, everybody buys them together and has a distribution site. You might also be entitled to federal commodity groceries, such as beans, cheese, butter and milk. There are also kids’ clothes co-ops and recyclers, not just Salvation Army thrift stores (not that there’s anyhting wrong with those).

My husband and I are starting a business together, after he was RIFed from a major US company, and doing a part time apostolate. We are leaving a very comfortable income to depending on God and ourselves for such things as health insurance, retirement funds, etc. So, even though we are middle-aged, we are having to cut back big time on some of the things our granddaughters might have learned to take for granted, along with dinner out 3 nights a week, movies even if they’re good, new clothes, etc. So, even though we are older, we use thrift store clothes, shop at Aldi and the co-op, recycle for profit, and in general, watch it! And it is a tight squeeze.

I’m trying to tell you that you’re not alone in this. There are tons of us out here in a similar boat.

And yes, set aside whatever you think you can afford in your budget for a rare Happy Meal or ride on a carousel or even just a candy bar or a plastic toy!!!:bounce: My aunt used to call this “Food for the soul”.
Click to expand...
🙂 To see all 3 of my kids happily playing with the toys from the happy meals for days after our trip to the fast food places…that’s worth it.

I know I"m not alone. I can’t begin to tell everyone who’s answered me how much I appreciate all of your prayers and kind words of encouragement and good ideas that I didn’t know about before.

I’ll have to look for the Frugal Zealot book, sounds interesting. It’s a good trip with the kids as well when we go to the library. Thank you!
 
rayne89, Kathleen, LaChiara, and others…

Thank you so much. I cry and lose hope and then I’ll think of what the little rosary book I have says…the Third Joyful Mystery, The Nativity…Think of the poverty, so lovingly accepted by Mary when she placed the Infant Jesus, our God and Redeemer, in a manger in the stable of Bethlehem.

Then I’ll get hope again. I know that our Blessed Mother intercedes for us, because she understands what we’re going through but she didn’t lose hope or faith. She’s a great example for us and I thank God I see that now.

God bless.
 
Kelly, my heart goes out to you. I think you have so much courage and fortitude. I remember your first post and have often wondered if things were better or the same, though they do sound slightly better. Remember that God provides and He will not be outdone in His generosity towards you. Use this time of suffering as redemptive–offer it up for your husband’s healing, your children’s souls, your safe delivery, your financial stability in the future.

Our diocese has a clothes closet for mothers in need. The only rule is that you return the clothing after it no longer fits, so another mother can use it. Have you called your diocesan offices and inquired about their resources and services to families in need? You mentioned food pantries, but I have also heard of assistance with bills, even procuring a second car when needed.

Also, here is a website that has a list of forms and rebates to print off on name brand items that you can get for free or very little (pennies, in some cases, and in cases where you have two coupons–you can actually make money off of “purchasing” an item). It’s updated routinely and sometimes you can use the forms more than once (by printing off more than one). When we first married, I had a lot of fun with this and I am just now beginning to re-look into it again because I love deals. 😉

refundcents.com/printformscoupons.htm
 
40.png
kellyb32:
I know we all have financial issues, some worse than others and I know that my problems are nothing compared to what others must endure, especially those who lost everything in hurricane Katrina. I pray for those who are suffering not only loss of homes, jobs, but family as well.

If anyone can relate to me, encourage me, or pray for me, I would be so grateful.

My husband just got news of a dollar raise but he is being cut down to 35 hours a week so it works out that he’s making $15 less each week, not a big deal but every penny helps in our case.

I’m still behind on some bills since he was laid off for July and the bit of help we get from food stamps is enough for groceries for 2 weeks. We do have medical through the social services as well. I also get WIC so that is a blessing too.

My husband refuses to find a second job. I find his reasons ridiculous but to him they’re legitmate and he’s talked to his office manager about our situation and he also agrees with my husband that finding a second part time job wouldn’t be a good idea right now… There are no better paying jobs in our area, he’d have to commute anywhere from 30-45 minutes each way in order to find a job that paid maybe a dollar or 2 more than what he’s making but with gas prices being what they are and rising, he’d lose more money by having to commute.

So basically we are stuck between a rock and a hard place since I’m unable to work due to the pregnancy and won’t be working outside my house until at least the middle of november.

I’m discouraged, disgusted and depressed (again) over our situation.

I don’t know what to do, I can’t turn to family for help because they are in just as bad shape as we are and my parents have enough on their plate to be worried about since my dad’s been diagonsed with a golf ball size tumor on his lung. They are being kind enough to take my daughter clothes shopping for school so we don’t have to worry about that. I’m grateful for that.

I have a lot of good in my life, I recognize that and I try to make that my focus. But when it comes time to sit and write out the bills, I see that we can’t afford to pay them in full or else I won’t have the money to buy diapers for my son, necessities for the house and groceries that are needed for the next 2 weeks. I worry about what’s going to happen when baby #4 comes along. If we’re struggling now, it’s only going to get worse since we have another baby to buy things for.

I’ve had to use the credit card, much to my displeasure, to buy a lot of our necessities over the last 2 months because we just simply didn’t have the cash. We only made $700 for the month of July, combined income (I’m a bookkeeper so I can work from home). That put us back horribly. I’m still trying to play catch up.

My husband won’t take care of the bills because as he’s told me numerous times that he’s got enough to deal with.

He’s the main reason I’m seeking therapy to help me cope with our situation and his whole attitude towards me.

I wish that there was a way for us to increase our income. I told my husband all we need is about 600-700 dollars more each month for us to begin getting out of debt and not having to use the credit card for any purchases.

That’s not a lot of money, but it’s impossible for me to convince him to find a part time job for 15 hours a week, even if it’s only temporary. He wouldn’t make the amount we need, but at least it would help us out somewhat. He just refuses, end of story. Discussing it isn’t an option anymore.

So in a nutshell, I’m just asking for prayer mostly. I need wisdom and peace about our situation. There is nothing that we can cut out of our spending. We haven’t gone on a date alone to see a movie or have dinner in over a year. Treating the kids to a happy meal is a luxury. We only have one vehicle. Neither of us have gone clothes shopping since before we were married. Now we go to the Salvation Army if we need something. If it weren’t for the clothes given to my kids at birthdays and christmas, they would be wearing clothes from the salvation army too. I cut my kids and my husband’s hair. I get my hair cut maybe once or twice a year. This is just a few of the ways we cut corners to avoid spending money.

I know how to support a family of 5 on $18,000 a year. It’s just I’m really tired of shuffling bills around to see who’ll take a small payment this month so I can pay off someone else just so we don’t lose our utilites or credit rating.

Thanks for letting me vent. I know that it’s easy to say things will get better…but I’ve been dealing with the same kind of stuff in my marriage for 13 years now. I’m worn out. People always tell me, “you just need to concern yourself with delivering a healthy baby.”

I wish it were that easy…

Please pray for us.

Thank you.
Click to expand...
 
Status
Not open for further replies.
Back
Top