More in gay community now than ever? Why?

[Mom_of_5]

My sister and I are wondering why there are so many gay folk in our midst today. We grew up in the 50’s and never new about gay or lesbian life style. Were they just afraid to “come out” or are there many more men and women making this sexual choice.

Before anyone gets too upset, I do recognize that there are legitimate gay people. I also know several who have made the choice to change sexual orientation. We are also encouraged to accept this life syle, say nothing and “mind our own business”. It is difficult for me and my husband to accept my step-daughters decision to play the “male” part of her relationship with another women. Both have been married, both have young children. We feel that is is harmful to the children. My step-daughter’s husband died about 5 years ago. I think he must be rolling over in his grave.

We have not said anything to daughter about her choice as of yet. Should we? Or—just let her think is o.k. for her to live this new lifestyle. She has no religious affliation and is not about to accept religion of any kind into her life.

Love and peace,
Mom of 5

 

[andyandely1997]

If we love someone, our ultimate goal is to help them get to heaven. Keeping silent with someone we love, who is in mortal sin, is not helping them get to heaven. We are to admonish the sinner, even if it is family. I know it is not easy for us, but we have to speak the truth of Jesus Christ. “Think ye, that I am come to give peace on earth? I tell you, no; but separation. For there shall be from henceforth five in one house divided: three against two, and two against three. The father shall be divided against the son, and the son against his father, the mother against the daughter, and the daughter against the mother, the mother in law against her daughter in law, and the daughter in law against her mother in law.” (Luke 12:51-53)

Also, our pride is running rampant these days in our culture. We want to do what feels good to us without regard to anyone else. It is all about us. So if we are not happy in a marriage, see you, I am going to make myself happy. If anyone has homosexual inclinations, many act on them, since our society tells us there is nothing wrong with it. There is no more shame in our country, everything is ok. But there is only one truth, and we can not be ashamed or afraid to speak this truth, even if it is with our own family.

 

[Smber2c]

I’m sorry to hear the situation you and your family are in, having a 10 month old daughter and a 2nd child on the way, such hard situations feel far off and yet frighteningly close. I’ll say a prayer for you and your family tonight.

To the topic of the gay community today, I think there are multiple causes. Though, I can’t see how the genetic compenent could have increased changed significatly over the last 50 years - thus either:

1. tons of people were “in the closet” back when and aren’t today;
2. there are people today posing as homosexual but really they aren’t.
   or most likely both of these are going on.

Back in 1999 as a high school sophmore, I knew a boy who claimed to be gay and over the next 2 years used that to become close friends with and sleep with numerous girls.

I provide that to show there are some with alterior motives. Today being gay can in certain communities increase popularity, make one seem cooler, can be a sign of individuality, or just a sign of rebellion. I think it can be a safety net for some women, who were hurt by men and decide women are safer.

Also look at the rise of bisexuality. I’m very skeptical of this. Again, there are likely some who are genetically this way; but I suspect that most are following a hedonistic urging to get as much pleasure from as many places as possible.

Reguardless, I agree that it is bad for the children in such families. They are indoctrinated to a perversion. They lack a father, but worse when that man is replaced with a woman, tehy are taught by example that dads are dispensible anyway.

I know that talking on deep issues with family is often next to impossible, I say pray for them and pray for God to fix the situation. Let God lead in this situation, so if He gives you a chance to talk about this then accept the challange and talk; it He brings in someone else to do it, support and don’t be jelous. Whatever you do, do it with prayer, do it with love, be gentle but honest.

 

[Smber2c]

Also, our pride is running rampant these days in our culture. We want to do what feels good to us without regard to anyone else. It is all about us. So if you are not happy in a marriage, see you, I am going to make myself happy. If you have homosexual inclinations, you act on them, since our society tells you there is nothing wrong with it. There is no more shame in our country, everything is ok. But there is only one truth, and we can not be ashamed or afraid to speak this truth, even if it is with our own family.

This is so true. We are letting all shame go. C.S. Lewis points that this was happening 60 or 70 years ago in his Screwtape Letters. He has a deamon speaking joyfully about how they have taken the word “puritanical” and turned it into a dirty word. How dare someone tell another not to get drunk, not to be lewd, not to swear or be reckless.

Catholics today are expected to keep their beliefs to themselves, not only by most of society…but tragically by more Catholics. I am back in college, at a Jesuit institution. Out camus just this year had a P.R.I.D.E. chapter founded (a pro-homosexuality club). The school paper championed this, and lamented that we had been the last Jesuit in America to accept such a club. WHAT? So every Jesuit college campus in America allows a pro-gay club to exist? What if there was a pro-alcoholics club; a pro-divorce club; a sex before marriage club - would we stand for those?

Getting back to the thread’s title, another reason we see more gays in todays community is because the Catholics and the Christians who used to guide society have clammed up on the issue and hardly say or do anything to show that it is corrupt. We’ve placed our lamp under a basket, and society wanders in the shadows.

 

[Rascalking]

Before anyone gets too upset, I do recognize that there are legitimate gay people. I also know several who have made the choice to change sexual orientation. We are also encouraged to accept this life syle, say nothing and “mind our own business”.

Remember that no one is asking you to accept it. Or, if they are asking you, tell them “Look, I don’t have the right to to hurt you, but I have the right not to accept they way you live your life”

For what it’s worth, I think there has always been the same amount of homosexual people. We’re just more open about it in todays society.

I would tell your daughter “I love like nuts. I’m not happy about how you choose to live your life, but nothing you do can make me stop loving you.”

This is just my opinion. I don’t claim to speak for the church or anything.

 

[tobbias88]

The answer is in our modern chemical environment which causes subtle changes in the baby boys in the womb.
Chemicals in plastics ( Phthalates) alter the brains of baby boys, making them “more feminine”, say University of Rochester researchers. These household chemicals ‘feminise boys’ and lead to obesity in boys and girls.

Male hormones drive boyish behaviour. Males exposed to high doses in the womb went on to be less likely to play with boys’ toys like cars or to join in rough and tumble games, they found. The team’s latest work adds to concerns about the safety of phthalates, found in vinyl flooring and PVC shower curtains.

Phthalates have the ability to disrupt hormones, and have been banned in toys in the EU for some years. However, they are still widely used in many different household items, including plastic furniture and packaging. Also in baby powder & baby lotions. We now know that phthalates, to which we are all constantly exposed, are extremely worrying from a health perspective, leading to disruption of male behaviour.

"This feminising capacity of phthalates makes them true ‘gender benders’.

Why are there so few gays in Africa? Almost no plastics there! While Europe & US are literally covered in plastics. Gov.s know the answer but won’t act against the oil giants as usual.

 

[dashso40]

Also, our pride is running rampant these days in our culture. We want to do what feels good to us without regard to anyone else. It is all about us. So if we are not happy in a marriage, see you, I am going to make myself happy. If anyone has homosexual inclinations, many act on them, since our society tells us there is nothing wrong with it. There is no more shame in our country, everything is ok. But there is only one truth, and we can not be ashamed or afraid to speak this truth, even if it is with our own family.

AMEN. You took the words right out of my mouth!

 

[Dale_M]

Mom of 5, you are in a difficult situation. Your moral beliefs are rooted in the Catholic faith, and it forbids homosexual activity. Being involved in your (step)daughter’s life will be an ongoing affront to those beliefs.

But, please, whatever you do. Don’t cut off contact with their family. Doing so will not convince her to change, and it will deprive you not only of contact with (step)daughter, but also your grandchildren.

As for more being in the gay and lesbian community now, than before… I dunno. I suspect that people were just more secretive back in the 1950s. It was a much more punitive era for gays and lesbians. I think the vast majority chose to marry and simply commit adultery in secret. This still happens today, but I think mainly among those who grew up or identify with conservative values. Homosexuals today who don’t adhere to conservative moral/religious/social/political values have much less reason to hide their sexual orientation.

 

[piejesu]

Pin a lot of blame on the great scourge of moral relativism that has swept through our world these last several decades. Throw in the resultant cult of Political Correctness, forty to fifty years of poor catechesis. Stir in a large quantity of religious relativism that sprang out the the modernism that began to shape religious and academic thought in the '30s, '40s, and '50s. Top it all off a world awash in 24/7 real-time media owned and operated by atheists.

While this recipe is not in correct order, I think these few items should provide anyone with some food for thought in connection with the question offered by the OP.

*“I want a Church that moves the world, not one that moves with it.”

G.K. Chesterton*

 

[Lethe]

My sister and I are wondering why there are so many gay folk in our midst today. We grew up in the 50’s and never new about gay or lesbian life style. Were they just afraid to “come out” or are there many more men and women making this sexual choice.

Before anyone gets too upset, I do recognize that there are legitimate gay people. I also know several who have made the choice to change sexual orientation. We are also encouraged to accept this life syle, say nothing and “mind our own business”. It is difficult for me and my husband to accept my step-daughters decision to play the “male” part of her relationship with another women. Both have been married, both have young children. We feel that is is harmful to the children. My step-daughter’s husband died about 5 years ago. I think he must be rolling over in his grave.

We have not said anything to daughter about her choice as of yet. Should we? Or—just let her think is o.k. for her to live this new lifestyle. She has no religious affliation and is not about to accept religion of any kind into her life.

Love and peace,
Mom of 5

I think they must have been afraid to ‘come out’ to be honest. I mean, here in the UK, homosexuality/sodomy was against the law in the past, and it’s going to have taken a while for people adjust to it not being such a massive scandal, or it being dangerous for them to be seen as homosexual.

I don’t think you are accepting that that is a possibility to be bisexual - its not just straight or gay, there are people who are attracted to both genders, so may SEEM like they’re changing orientation, but not be. There are, granted, also people who have relationships, either straight or gay, that go against their natural orientation.

Why does it worry you more that she plays the ‘male’ part? How do you even know that?! From my experience, which is quite a lot (!), there aren’t that many lesbian couples, (these days) where they are acting man/woman, it tends to just be that one or both dont associate with being feminine, which is different. On the other hand, if she has just out of the blue decided she wants to be a man, maybe she does need some help…

If she doesn’t have any religion (like me also,) I doubt she would change her mind based on a religious belief. She also probably already knows you’re not positive about the relationship anyway, unless you’ve pretended you are…

 

[rossum]

My sister and I are wondering why there are so many gay folk in our midst today. We grew up in the 50’s and never new about gay or lesbian life style. Were they just afraid to “come out” or are there many more men and women making this sexual choice.

Did you and your sister ever see Rock Hudson? He was gay. You probably saw just as many gay people then as you do now. It is just that now they are more likely to be out so that you know that they are gay. In the past they were much more likely to have hidden it. Male gay sex only became legal in the UK in 1968 for example.

rossum

 

[Lauds]

I was involved with the gay community for years, I was always amazed at the number of gay people I met & an awful lot of Bisexuals too. I was involved in it for a long time & seen newcomers, & new generations of them come up ,constantly changing faces, most of them very masculine, the very minority of them I met were effeminate. From ALL walks of life, I met them all Doctors, college professors, husbands & Grandfathers & Grandmothers, military men etc, From every walk of life, I go back to the early 60`s. They have always been here from the beginning of time, they are just out more now, even our church is full of them the hierarchy, if they all decided to quit the church, the church would crumble, But I love My Church anyway

 

[Mom_of_5]

Thank your for your thoughts, some are excellant. In response to one who asked how I know she is playing the male part…she told us so. She is wearing her hair in a male style as well as men’s clothes and shoes. She can wear her hair anyway she wishes and any clothes she desires, however, she has a 14 year old son who is highly embarrassed by his mom. He was very attached to his father who passed on from cancer. They live in a very small town where everyone knows everything. Our sadness is for grandson and for the children of our daughters partner. I am aware that there are those who are bi-sexual. She informed my single daughter that she will go “both ways”. That was her “coming out” of the closet remark. Several years before her husband died, she was deep into drugs, mainly meth. She informed us that “You would not believe the things I do, who I have sex with”. She loves to “shock” us, it no longer works. I believe that meth had a huge influence on who she is today.

We have always been there to help her through all her problems, drug use, time in jail for forging checks, etc., husbands illness and death. We have simply loved her through it all. Once we get a problem solved, she won’t call or visit until she needs something else. She, her sisters and brothers detest Catholicism even though they do not understand it. They have told their father (Catholic convert) and myself that they do not agree with our “morals”. They believe that anyone can do anything and we should simply accept it, even though it may be harmful to body and soul.

There will be a "moral "expert in our parish next week, to give a seminar. We will go to get some help with our problems.

Thank you all,

Mom of 5

 

[Kay_Cee]

She, her sisters and brothers detest Catholicism even though they do not understand it. They have told their father (Catholic convert) and myself that they do not agree with our “morals”. They believe that anyone can do anything and we should simply accept it, even though it may be harmful to body and soul.

I don’t suppose it’s occurred to her that this attitude is contradictory.

If “anyone can do anything and we should simply accept it” why don’t they accept your morals and your Catholicism?

 

[Mom_of_5]

I don’t suppose it’s occurred to her that this attitude is contradictory.

If “anyone can do anything and we should simply accept it” why don’t they accept your morals and your Catholicism?

This absolutely correct. Amazing, we are to accept all their immoral behavior, however they will not talk us for months if we disagree with what any of them are doing. Their father is a very soft-spoken man who tries very hard not to hurt anyones feelings, but the children have no problem letting us know that we should “not judge” any of their actions. Sad but true.

Love and peace
Mom of 5

 

[Kay_Cee]

This absolutely correct. Amazing, we are to accept all their immoral behavior, however they will not talk us for months if we disagree with what any of them are doing. Their father is a very soft-spoken man who tries very hard not to hurt anyones feelings, but the children have no problem letting us know that we should “not judge” any of their actions. Sad but true.

Love and peace
Mom of 5

Have you pointed out their intolerance to them? I can’t help wondering what their reaction would be, but of course you know them and I don’t.

Honestly, if someone told me I had to be accepting of her behavior, I would point out that cuts both ways. But you know what’s best to do here.

Sorry you have to put up with this.

 

[Newbie2]

The answer is in our modern chemical environment which causes subtle changes in the baby boys in the womb.
Chemicals in plastics ( Phthalates) alter the brains of baby boys, making them “more feminine”, say University of Rochester researchers. These household chemicals ‘feminise boys’ and lead to obesity in boys and girls.

Male hormones drive boyish behaviour. Males exposed to high doses in the womb went on to be less likely to play with boys’ toys like cars or to join in rough and tumble games, they found. The team’s latest work adds to concerns about the safety of phthalates, found in vinyl flooring and PVC shower curtains.

Phthalates have the ability to disrupt hormones, and have been banned in toys in the EU for some years. However, they are still widely used in many different household items, including plastic furniture and packaging. Also in baby powder & baby lotions. We now know that phthalates, to which we are all constantly exposed, are extremely worrying from a health perspective, leading to disruption of male behaviour.

"This feminising capacity of phthalates makes them true ‘gender benders’.

Why are there so few gays in Africa? Almost no plastics there! While Europe & US are literally covered in plastics. Gov.s know the answer but won’t act against the oil giants as usual.

Speculative conclusions, at best, methinks.

This absolutely correct. Amazing, we are to accept all their immoral behavior, however they will not talk us for months if we disagree with what any of them are doing. Their father is a very soft-spoken man who tries very hard not to hurt anyones feelings, but the children have no problem letting us know that we should “not judge” any of their actions. Sad but true.

Love and peace
Mom of 5

Difficult to imagine trying to love someone yet not accept their immoral behavior. Also a balance between shutting them out (or them shutting you out) and appearing to be accepting their decisions. Hang in there and pray.

Sorry you have to put up with this.

Amen, but the Lord never said it would be easy, did he?

 

[JerrySeibert]

Mom of 5 their are so many replies to this post. But, I have add one more.
Read your Bible. Homosexuality is morally wrong and a, “Gravely disordered act” CCC.
Your step daughters decision is hers alone to answer to God. If you have explained this to her as far as I am concerened it is the same as what Jesus told the apostles.
“What you bind on Earth is bound in Heaven and what you loose on earth is loosed in Heaven.”
If I may be so bold, I doubt any of the propaganda by the mainstream media that some people are ‘pre programmed’ so to speak to homosexuality. I know in my heart it is a choice, a choice for attention, to be defiant. Regardless of the reason I cannot believe at all that homosexuality is not a ‘choice’.

 

[Mustang1971]

Mom of 5 their are so many replies to this post. But, I have add one more.
Read your Bible. Homosexuality is morally wrong and a, “Gravely disordered act” CCC.
Your step daughters decision is hers alone to answer to God. If you have explained this to her as far as I am concerened it is the same as what Jesus told the apostles.
“What you bind on Earth is bound in Heaven and what you loose on earth is loosed in Heaven.”
If I may be so bold, I doubt any of the propaganda by the mainstream media that some people are ‘pre programmed’ so to speak to homosexuality. I know in my heart it is a choice, a choice for attention, to be defiant. Regardless of the reason I cannot believe at all that homosexuality is not a ‘choice’.

JerrySeibert, if you do not have SSA, you can not possible know if this is a choice or not. Please do not paint all of us with SSA with one brush. I can understand the frustration that people feel with what is going on in society. Please remember there are a lot of people like me who struggle everyday to live a moral life. You do not see us or know we exist. We are not running around making a scene, we just go about our lives. I am 38 and do not remember making a choice. I am not looking for attention, I do not go around announcing my SSA. I am not even “out” to my friends or family. I am not looking to be defiant. I do not wish to destroy society or redefine marriage. I simply wish to get up everyday and do the best I can for God.

Being homosexual is not immoral, engaging in homosexual acts is the sin. It is a important distinction

 

[Ashley42]

“We feel that is is harmful to the children.”
Can you elaborate on this? What exactly would be “harmful”? Are you worried that your step-daughter might harm or abuse the children?
This is one of the most widespread misconceptions about homosexuality - but the myth has been cleared up many times over! There is simply no evidence to suggest that homosexuals are abusive people.They are simply people who have fallen in love with a person of the same sex, nothing more, nothing less. The children probably know that homosexuality is just a normal part of a persons life, and simply part of who they are. As long as this is the case, there should be no problem.
You may not agree with their choice of partner, it may not be somebody you would choose, but you need to accept that people are free to make their own choices and they should not be told who they can and cannot love. Try to put yourself in her situation, and wonder what it would be like being told that it is wrong for you to be intimate or get married to the person you love.