More in gay community now than ever? Why?

[Newbie2]

As one of suffers from same-sex attractions, I find this post extremely offensive and uncharitable. I never made a choice to be attracted to other men. There are factors in my life that have affected my thinking relative to sexuality (overprotective, dominating mother, emotionally unavailable, critical father, few peer friends in childhood, etc.), but there was never a conscious choice: “I want to feel attracted toward members of the same sex.” That’s simply how I turned out: damaged, with low self-esteem, lousy body-image, no self-confidence, and fear of women.

Now, whether to ACT on those desires in another issue and that IS something someone chooses.

Additionally, those who desire to do so can, of course, attempt to change their sexual orientation through therapy or other methods. In my case, I’m in the process of changing (slow as it may be) because I have become friends with a straight man who is very easy to get along with and has been helpful to me in exploring a lot of my issues. By treating me like “just one of the guys,” he is actually encouraging me to accept myself as a man and to start looking at the opposite sex as my compliment. This is a choice that I have made: to explore the possibility of change. It’s a long, hard road, but I believe it will be worth it in the end.

However, like I said, someone turning out to have same-sex attractions is NOT a choice, it’s an outcome and a symptom of other underlying issues.

Excellent post.

 

[Mustang1971]

Being gay is just a lot more trendy now. There are tee shirts for sale with the slogan: “instant lesbian–just add alcohol.”

I don’t think that being gay is trendy at all. I find it to be a daily challenge. There might be some people who claim they are gay or a lesbian just for attention. For those of us who are SSA, it impacts many areas of our lives. Society is more tolerant of homosexuality, but that still does not make it easy or fun for those of us challenged by homosexual attractions.

I guess I just ask everyone to remember that there are many of us who are just trying to live a moral life and we need the support of our fellow Catholics.

 

[Jermosh]

Being gay is just a lot more trendy now. There are tee shirts for sale with the slogan: “instant lesbian–just add alcohol.”

From my experience, most LGBTs deep down inside would not chose to be LGBT. On the surface they will say so, but that is more for a solidarity and just accepting who they are.

 

[Dale_M]

From my experience, most LGBTs deep down inside would not chose to be LGBT. On the surface they will say so, but that is more for a solidarity and just accepting who they are.

Given a choice, who would want to suffer so much social disapproval, verbal and physical abuse, and discrimination both overt and hidden?

However, I wonder if personal acceptance isn’t age related? Perhaps when young, and life experiences are less, the desire to change is stronger. An individual has less investment in “who they are.” However, as a person ages, they accrue more life experiences and a stronger sense of… “Yes, this is what I have experienced, what I have lived through.” As such experiences accrue, abandoning that identity involves more personal loss.

 

[Jermosh]

Given a choice, who would want to suffer so much social disapproval, verbal and physical abuse, and discrimination both overt and hidden?

However, I wonder if personal acceptance isn’t age related? Perhaps when young, and life experiences are less, the desire to change is stronger. An individual has less investment in “who they are.” However, as a person ages, they accrue more life experiences and a stronger sense of… “Yes, this is what I have experienced, what I have lived through.” As such experiences accrue, abandoning that identity involves more personal loss.

It could be age related for sure, I think you have to look at what age they have most troubles with. Our sexual identity is thought to be known in the womb, by at least 1yr its fully known to us.

For Gay men they have SSA at the earliest sign of sexual maturity, studies and 1st hand witnessing shows they are far better off accepting it at a younger age then not. For woman is completely different and a lot more complex, but this is more related to the sexual difference between men and woman, its vastly more different than just organs.

 

[LCMS_No_More]

I don’t think that being gay is trendy at all. I find it to be a daily challenge. There might be some people who claim they are gay or a lesbian just for attention. For those of us who are SSA, it impacts many areas of our lives. Society is more tolerant of homosexuality, but that still does not make it easy or fun for those of us challenged by homosexual attractions.

Especially when people in the Church make snap judgments about SSA people as a whole.

I guess I just ask everyone to remember that there are many of us who are just trying to live a moral life and we need the support of our fellow Catholics.

Yes. Unfortunately, that support is lacking. It’s usually, “go to Courage, they’ll help you live a celibate life,” but not everyone wants that. Some of us want to change and maybe find marriage, but there’s little to no support for that in the world or the Church (at least officially). Makes one feel worse, not better.

 

[Mustang1971]

Especially when people in the Church make snap judgments about SSA people as a whole.

Yes. Unfortunately, that support is lacking. It’s usually, “go to Courage, they’ll help you live a celibate life,” but not everyone wants that. Some of us want to change and maybe find marriage, but there’s little to no support for that in the world or the Church (at least officially). Makes one feel worse, not better.

LCMS_No_More, I think part of the problem when people make snap judgements is they don’t really understand. A lot of people may not really know someone who has SSA, they just know what they see on the news. I guess part of our job is to be out there and show others that there are people who are SSA and do want to live a moral life. That might take the form of someone like yourself who really wants to get married or others like me who does not see marriage in their future. I am just trying to accept that I have SSA and live according to Church teachings.

I agree there could be more support, but I think again the problem is a lot of people just don’t really understand what we face. I have found the online courage group to be helpful for me in starting to deal with my SSA. It is always comforting to know that you are not going it alone. I have received a lot of encouragement and support from this group.

I think what we will see as society becomes more accepting of homosexuality you will see more people admit this is who they are. Once that starts to happen I think we will see more variety in attitudes in the “gay community” and that includes people who are Catholic and who are struggling to live by Church teaching.