I also have a difficult time giving up “good tasting” food like ice cream and chocolate . . . and beer! I feel that the Lord is calling me to do more penance but I am resisting his call to this. I have made some progress lately and I know it is through his grace that I have been able to do this.
We work our way up into deeper union with God bit by bit, as
Shin just said, “As long as you are making progress… slow or step by step…”
Think about us as toddlers learning to walk. Toddlers stumble around, they wobble, they crawl, they are nothing next to adults who can walk and run easily and with perfect balance. In the same way, we are nothing to the saints, those who have grown mature in the love and knowledge of God. What we need to do is recognize our lowliness, confess it to God humbly and offer Him whatever we can offer Him lovingly.
St. Therese of Lisieux said that very small gifts offered with love are worth much to the Heart of God. In fact, we know this truth from our own experience too. If I give my friend a helping hand or a smile, or a kind word, that gift, though very small, can mean so much to him. One kind word can make someone’s day, and more than anything else that day, that will be what the person remembers. It is the same between us and God.
What we really need to all work on is learning to love God and love our neighbor more. As we do this, we will become more willing to give for others, to do good, to put ourselves second and others first, because all of this is part of being in love. A man who loves his spouse often does things for her, even contrary to his own desires, because he loves her and out of no other motive. In the same way, as we draw nearer to God in love, we come to give for Him and to do things for Him that we would not normally have done. This love also extends to our neighbor, for God is present in our neighbor too, particularly in the poor and suffering. We learn to let love consume us fully and not just partially, though like everything, this too grows in us over time.
Love should be our central focus, growth in the love of God and our neighbor. Jesus said, “Do this and you will live.”
As you grow in love more and more, everything else will fall into place, bit by bit.
2 Cor. 9:7 says, “Each man should give what he has decided in his heart to give, not reluctantly or under compulsion, for God loves a cheerful giver.” Giving without a cheerful heart can build resentment in us, which is a barrier between us and God, so we need to seek to love God in all our responsibilities and not take on additional pious acts that we cannot offer Him with love. We give what we can give out of love and what we must give out of love, but we do not move beyond that love. Song of Songs 8:4, “Daughters of Jerusalem, I charge you: Do not arouse or awaken love until it so desires.” We move according to the love in our hearts, and no further, and no shorter.
Of course, there are responsibilities we must perform whether cheerfully or not, but when this is the case, we are always called to seek love in what we do. At the same time, when we have a legitimate choice as to how much we will do for God and our neighbor, we do what we can do cheerfully and don’t overwhelm ourselves or choose out of a sense of obligation that builds resentment in us.
During all this, we do the little things we can do cheerfully and through them we grow bit by bit into deeper union with God. As Jesus says, “Whoever can be trusted with very little can also be trusted with much, and whoever is dishonest with very little will also be dishonest with much” (Luke 16:10). When we serve God in little things, He prepares us through this for greater things. But we have to be patient with ourselves and with God, even as we seek Him.
Here’s another scripture about self-denial:
1 Cor. 13:3, “If I give all I possess to the poor and surrender my body to the flames, but have not love, I gain nothing.”
We are called to mortify ourselves according to our love, or what we can cheerfully offer. If St. Vincent de Paul had sufficient love to go on only four hours of sleep a night for God’s sake, but he did not listen to love’s call, then he should indeed have done more! If, on the other hand, he could not offer that much sleep-time to God out of love, then he did well to sleep as much as he did. We are called to seek love and to be responsive to the movement of love in our lives.
If you feel a genuine desire to make a sacrifice of deserts and beer, that could very well be from God. That, in part, is what I mean by cheerful giving. It’s giving that comes from a sincere desire to give and not from a sense of obligation. Figure out what you can give cheerfully. If you really want to give it all, then try that, but if you want to make a lesser sacrifice, that’s good too. Just don’t push yourself beyond what you desire to give and can give up willingly and lovingly.
Growing in the love of God and one’s neighbor is everything. Growth in love leads to putting ourselves aside and God’s will first, and draws us constantly closer to Heaven.