There’s probably a lot of truth to that, Mary. Though the “fishbowl” probably still exists to some extent due to social media, etc., it’s not nearly as restrictive as it was in the past – or even just two decades ago when I was growing up (son of a Lutheran pastor, so I’ve seen how things have changed). The expectation to be a “Pastor’s Wife” simply is disappearing. Culture has shifted enough that congregations generally understand that life exists away from the pulpit. Wives typically have their own jobs now and congregations care very well for the families of their shepherds.
As for holidays, sure, something sentimental is often lost in congregations with a sole pastor who can’t rotate holidays, but plenty of practical perks are gained (no fighting holiday traffic and two weeks off the grid in the summer!
). Culture has also shifted in this regard, which makes things easier. Travel and visiting family “the weekend after” isn’t so out of the ordinary for many professions today. Doctors, nurses live similarly.
The ‘public’ aspect of parish life has also become more of a blessing nowadays. On a personal level, it’s a tremendous help to clergy to be able to come home to a family, rather than try to internalize or decompress in unhealthy ways. On a practical level, when you’re living a ‘public’ sort of life, you learn to really consider how your personal sins might affect others. When you model pious living, you become pious. It’s sanctifying, in a way
I guess there are positives and negatives to both a married and a celibate clergy, but I’d tend toward the one that most closely resembles the natural order God instituted at Creation and which was followed by many of the Apostles, including Peter. But I don’t fault anyone who thinks differently.
