Most priests know far more about marriage than most married people do

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That’s why Catholic marriages end in divorce as often as pagan ones
 
It’s a fact.

Pre Cana programs are awful, filled with Diet Coke like formation. They’ve failed so many Catholics.
 
TheOldColonel said:
Apparently, lay people do the work constantly and with good results.
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Given that there are so many more lay people than priests and so much demand for priests to do the things that only priests can do, it does make sense to have lay people do the stuff that we are just as capable of doing, like leading a pre-Cana class.

Just from a man-power utilization point of view, it makes sense to use lay people, even if lay people weren’t quite as good, just because there are so many more of them available. And it’s not clear that lay people actually are worse than priests at teaching marriage prep.
Edward_H said:
That’s why Catholic marriages end in divorce as often as pagan ones
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Cite?

www.ncregister.com

Catholics Continue to Have Lowest Divorce Rates

Georgetown’s Center for Applied Research in the Apostolate reports that 28% of Catholic marriages end in divorce, about 10% lower than the rate among Protestants.
www.ncregister.com www.ncregister.com
Edward_H said:
Pre Cana programs are awful, filled with Diet Coke like formation. They’ve failed so many Catholics.
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They can always be better, but people do get a lot out of them–I’ve seen a number of non-Catholics talk about how much they learned from doing Catholic pre-Cana.

Edited to add: I have to say that a lot of what makes a successful marriage is not necessarily going to be Catholic-specific. So even a “Diet Coke like formation” of mostly secular advice on conflict resolution, etc., is going to contain material that will greatly enhance a young couple’s odds of being able to have a peaceful and harmonious home.
 
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Actually I think it’s more like an cardiologist knowing more about heart disease than the average layperson who is actually suffering FROM heart disease. Even if the cardiologist has never physically experienced the symptoms, or had to deal with his or her own mortality, function in ‘regular life’ by still being a parent, a spouse, etc. ‘with heart disease’, the cardiologist has a lot of knowledge not only from ‘books’ but from actual hands-on experience with patients who are suffering from heart disease. He or she sees the ‘textbook cases’ as well as the ones which completely defy any known facts. He or she sees how the patient responds which again ranges from strict adherence to ‘doctor’s rules’ to utter noncompliance and denial. The cardiologist does not actually have to suffer disease in order to ‘know it’.
 
stpurl said:
Actually I think it’s more like an cardiologist knowing more about heart disease than the average layperson who is actually suffering FROM heart disease. Even if the cardiologist has never physically experienced the symptoms, or had to deal with his or her own mortality, function in ‘regular life’ by still being a parent, a spouse, etc. ‘with heart disease’, the cardiologist has a lot of knowledge not only from ‘books’ but from actual hands-on experience with patients who are suffering from heart disease. He or she sees the ‘textbook cases’ as well as the ones which completely defy any known facts. He or she sees how the patient responds which again ranges from strict adherence to ‘doctor’s rules’ to utter noncompliance and denial. The cardiologist does not actually have to suffer disease in order to ‘know it’.
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I don’t think that the average parish priest is quite that much of a specialist.

I think some are, but it’s not the norm.
 
I used to have a doctor who smoked while examining me. I attended his funeral in 1977.
 
Well you know, do you think that the average ‘married couple’ lay leaders are more of such ‘specialists’ than the average priest?
 
They get one class on Matrimony and one class on Pastoral Counseling during seminary. That hardly makes one a specialist.
 
stpurl said:
Well you know, do you think that the average ‘married couple’ lay leaders are more of such ‘specialists’ than the average priest?
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A person who spends more time on something is very likely to wind up with more specialized knowledge.
TheOldColonel said:
They get one class on Matrimony and one class on Pastoral Counseling during seminary. That hardly makes one a specialist.
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Yeah, that’s not specialization.

Parish priests are generalists.

That’s not criticism, it’s just the nature of the job. A parish priest is more like a primary care doctor than a cardiologist. That said, as I’ve mentioned, I have encountered at least a couple of priests in real life who showed genuine talent for pastoral counseling and/or talking about marriage. Either of them probably does a fantastic job with marriage counseling. One in particular seems like he could scare you into having a good marriage…
 
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I am unfamiliar with these (thank you for the names). I am extremely familiar with Worldwide Marriage Encounter and there is a priest involved in every presentation on these weekends, along with three married couples. The focus of the priest is not to provide advice/feedback on individual relationships, rather on the marriage as a sacrament and it’s effect on his relationship with his people.
 
The really good priests refer the most serious marriage cases to a professional counselor. To do otherwise, could be wrong.
 
So you’re using the exception to prove the rule? You’re judging ‘all cardiologists’ by the anecdotal account of ONE who was actually breaking the rules he knew were correct?

As a colonel, you had authority, whether the major, captain, lieutenant etc. under you thought you were competent or not. That’s why it surprises me to see an almost knee-jerk ‘anti-authority’ kind of reaction from you, like, “A doctor? Don’t tell ME doctors know anything, the one I knew was a turkey.”

Mind you, in a lot of places in today’s society, the asylums ARE being run by lunatics and the incompetent reign. . .but that’s by and large because so many people have become conditioned to reject authority and to expect anybody with same to be incompetent and that they themselves ‘know it all’. But it still doesn’t change the fact that, all things being equal, people who spend a great deal of time developing expert knowledge on a subject, whether they themselves ‘listen’ and adhere or not, actually KNOW THE SUBJECT, when it comes to areas like doctors, where a lack of knowledge will almost certainly be found and prosecuted, as opposed to Joe Schmo the podunk roofer who might be wildly incompetent but is the only game in a town of 200 and who isn’t likely to ever face any kind of sanction for his screwups.
 
True story: The priest that I think could scare people into good marriages is also known for his door-to-door ministry, aimed at getting Catholics back to church. He literally doorbells Jehovah’s Witnesses…
 
There was no rule against a doctor smoking in his own office in 1964. I’m not quite sure how you infer so much from my story. But getting so upset is bad for your heart. I don’t recommend it. 😀
 
Well, a good GP is certainly better for you, all things considered, if you have a pain in your tummy, than your friend in town who has spent 30 years dealing with Crohn’s colitis and knows just what to do for that, and who swears your symptoms are exactly like hers. The GP can even refer you to somebody. But what if instead of IBD you have appendicitis or heaven forbid a tumor ? You could wind up with all sorts of complications if instead of heading to the ED you just decided to keep going with Tums
 
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