Most priests know far more about marriage than most married people do

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You have no support for saying so…None.

Logic says the degree is the same. There’s no reason why a priest would no less.

In fact it’s likely he knows more…because his time in the Confession has taught him how humans try to couch things, how they try to make excuses for things.

He likely listens with a much much sharper ear, able to see the spiritual illnesses present.
 
Well the average priest regularly hears conversations every day and week more intimate than most of us here in a year ABOUT other people’s most intimate aspects of their life.

My point stands.
 
Now I know what Jesus must have felt like seeing Peter start to drown. Let me throw you a line, soldier.
 
Once My divorce was finalized, and I moved back to my hometown where I grew up for family support with permission of the X who was not far away from where we were, I was surprised to hear so many people opening up to me about their own struggles in marriage.

I was flabbergastd quite frankly over the many people that shared the “ugly” parts of their marriage. I always said do everything possible to make your marriage work *short of serious issues llike domestic abuste etc.

Grass is not greener on the other sjde of the lawn. Divorce is not freedom at all. I hated every minute of it the first two years I was divorced.My diviorce attorney told me something he learned after years of being a divorce attorney; if you say the word divorce you will end up divorced.

The thought of divorce as an escape will eventually seep into your subconscious in ways that could be problematic in your marriage.

I feel that it’s always the kids that suffer sadlly. The breakdown of the family is so sad to me.

Been there done that and got the T-shirt. My experience with the "annulment’ Issue in the Catholic Church made me believe that actually it is NOT true priests know more about marriage. But that’s another story for another thread.

Think twice.
 
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Edward_H said:
Logic says the degree is the same. There’s no reason why a priest would no less.
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A woman talking to her sister or her best friend says different things than a woman talking to her confessor, even if entirely truthful to both.

For one thing, we’re not supposed to confess other people’s sins. If I’m confessing, I say, “I lost my temper,” not a long series of stories of other people’s failings. So my confession is only going to be the tip of the iceberg of the domestic situation. Counseling might give a more 360 picture, though.

But either way, only a minority of people are showing up at confession or marriage counseling.

As previous posters mentioned, a priest might not naturally develop a lot of insight into how people with good marriages do things. Some obviously do, but others obviously don’t.

I have to add that married Protestant pastors often seem to have a particular failing–namely, not understanding that not every marriage is exactly like their own. A lot of Protestant pastors seem very prone to thinking “women are all like this” and “men are all like that,” whereas (as Tolstoy tells us), unhappy families are different in a great variety of different ways. Case in point, “Love and Respect.”

www.goodreads.com

Love and Respect: The Love She Most Desires; The Respec…

A New York Times best-selling marriage book with more t…
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Yes, just google a site about the “fishbowl existence” of PK (Pastors’ kids) and PW *Pastor wives and see what many family members say about the difficulty of balancing Church and home life issues.

As my friend, who is a Lutheran Pastor’s wife said, you can say goodbye to your family for if you are a wife that would like to spend Joyful celebrations of the Church such as Easter and Christmas with your whole family and children you stay home where the Church is located.

No going home, or out of town because of the demands of Clergy during these “peak times.” Also everyons is “looking” at the Pastor’s wife and does she help out enough, are the kids well behaved enough, is she working when should be involved in parish activities, should she BE working because the stipend some Pastors receive is not a lot, albeit some are provided housing free as a part of their package of benefits.

Therefore I think a celibate Clergy is much better.

JMO
 
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Are you stating that priests remember what all married parishioners tell them in the confessional and use that to counsel? That is odd to me.

Whatever happened to the old adage they forget everything they hear once you leave.

Just a first thought.
 
Edward_H said:
And a brother says more to a brother or male friend than to female friend or sister. Get with it.
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Right.

And presumably says more (and in more detail) to a brother or male friend than to his confessor.

I used the female example because it was the one I was most certain of the accuracy of, but if it’s also true that men confide in their brothers and male friends more than they confide in their confessor, then that supports my point as well.

I suspect that there’s minimal overlap between confidences to friends and siblings and confessions. It may be relating to the same issues, but it’s likely to be a different aspect of the problem. Also (based on confession line observations), there just isn’t time to go into a lot of depth in a typical confession. People are obviously mostly giving just the executive summary.
 
No, I am saying priests learn about the dynamics of marriage, human beings, virtues and vices in a depth and on a scale FAR surpassing what most married people do living day to day in their own marriage.
 
???

That reminds me of the thing I said about married Protestant pastors over-generalizing from limited experience.

It would really bother me to hear that in a sermon if it wasn’t balanced by other problems.

Lord knows that that doesn’t seem to be the primary problem among troubled CAF marriages, even though I’m sure it does pop up–but it’s not the dominant problem.
 
You are referring to merely academic knowledge of a topic. But who wants to be a surgeon’s first operation? 😲
 
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Priests learn little by little. The one I know hear hundreds of confessions a week.
 
Edward_H said:
No, I am saying priests learn about the dynamics of marriage, human beings, virtues and vices in a depth and on a scale FAR surpassing what most married people do living day to day in their own marriage.
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I think they can (I’d say that with great confidence about two priests in our area), but I would be very uncomfortable saying that that’s true on average.

Consider, for example, the gooiest, squishiest Jesuit you’ve ever heard preach, or consider all of the “Suburban Catholicism” sermons you’ve heard, and ask yourself, is it really obvious that these pastors are head-and-shoulders above their married male parishioners in terms of insight into “the dynamics of marriage, human beings, virtues and vices”? In many cases, some pastors are definitely well below the average for 50-year-old married men.

Don’t judge by the best–consider every Catholic priest you’ve ever heard.
 
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Gooiest? My confidence in you has just leaped by 400%!!
 
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It’s strange that you see the Holy Sacrament of Confession as a classroom for priests to learn about marriage. If all one needs to know about marriage are the sins committed in marriage, then I see your point. But it’s a bit like going to a cemetery with a shovel to learn how to be a doctor.
 
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I think he’s referring to the gooiest buttercup you’ve ever seen.
 
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