I struggle with Motherās Day. I try to be a good sport for the sake of my own children, and I sincerely appreciate the sweet things they plan and do for me. That is helping me to overcome a loathing of this contrived holiday, which, thanks to my mother, was ruined before I had my own children. She always makes sure that in some way, she gets in a dig to show how much of a failure I am of a daughter. So I mostly try to forget it.
Only this year, I actually did forget it. I didnāt realize it was Motherās Day until I woke up this morning, which means I forgot to send a card and certainly did not send an extravagant present or flowers to my mother. So today, I had to admit my own failure as a daughter, preemptively, in a profuse apology to my mother. Still, my husband reminded me that I ended up giving my mother what she wanted most, to have me feel like a failure. That cheered me right up. I always like it when I get just the right present for someone.
Plus, the homily today was all about how we should cut our motherās some slack and we shouldnāt expect them to be perfect. That helped me not feel alone. And then I got to talk to my MIL, who is a sweetheart, and who half raised me anyway. And she and I both had a good laugh about how DH and I both forgot about Motherās Day being this weekend. She understood completely.
So overall, what should have been another very bad Motherās Day turned out to probably be the best one yet, because I āfailedā and the world did not end and it didnāt have to be a big production in order to have a good day.
But Motherās Day can be very very hard for some women, whether their mothers are alive or deceased, and whether they have children or not. I am sorry you lost your mom, Convert, and I am sorry about the loss of the ability to have a child of your own. You may not be able to celebrate with your precious child that you lost, but your generosity and openness to life and the suffering you patiently endure bespeaks of a true motherās heart. God bless you on this and every Motherās Day.