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Allegra
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Did you get your stuff?
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TOBaddict
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Not yet. They (unfortunately) agreed to therapy. :banghead: Our session is next Friday- I guess they really need their scapegoat back. I am blessed to have a great therapist though. I specifically chose him because he ‘specializes’ in narcissists and personality disorders. He has been fantastic so far in my individual therapy and he knows all the narcissist tricks. We both agreed that this will probably be the one and only family sessions because my parents won’t like what they’re going to hear- “What, a behavior change?! Never! I’m perfect.” He is also prepared for their manipulations and the ‘I need to show the therapist I am a fantastic, caring parent’ mask. I am just so thankful that he knows their tricks because my main worry was that they’d manipulate him to think that I am the crazy one. So, prayers would be appreciated for our session to go well- or, at least, as painless as possible. I just want to make it out unscathed. I am prepared to probably go home the day after our session because I am predicting it to be a disaster.
Thank you for asking! If you have any tips from your own experiences, I’d love for you to PM me.
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Allegra
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Maybe the therapist can take advantage of their need to demonstrate that they are prefect parents and you are the crazy one and get the to give you back your money! Anyway, I don’t know why they can’t give you back your stuff AND go therapy. Therapy would be the requirement for having any contact at all. That doesn’t mean you have to go on living there.
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TOBaddict
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I have already been moved out for about a month. I told them I was moving out right when I did it, so the kickback occurred when I was already living somewhere else, thank God. I shudder to think of their reaction if I gave them any warning. They did return a portion of my money, and my therapist was shocked that they were even that ‘generous.’ He wasn’t expecting them to return any of it. So, I am grateful for that. Maybe I can use this opportunity to get the rest.
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Allegra
Guest
At least you got enough of your stuff to get by on. You may luck out. It wouldn’t be too out of line for a narcissistic mother to show up to therapy with a bag of your clothes (because you were so lazy you left them in the dryer), a warm blanket (for when you end up homeless), an elaborate gift made by your sibling she favors (whose heart is broken as she is so thoughtful, unlike you), an extra toothbrush (you’d never remember to brush without her help), and a bag of you favorite cookies (even though you really eat too much sweets and she doesn’t think you’ll ever get a man if you don’t watch your weight.) If you have to put up with the passive aggressive abuse, at least get something out of it.
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TOBaddict
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Ha, it sounds like you’re talking from experienceAt least you got enough of your stuff to get by on. You may luck out. It wouldn’t be too out of line for a narcissistic mother to show up to therapy with a bag of your clothes (because you were so lazy you left them in the dryer), a warm blanket (for when you end up homeless), an elaborate gift made by your sibling she favors (whose heart is broken as she is so thoughtful, unlike you), an extra toothbrush (you’d never remember to brush without her help), and a bag of you favorite cookies (even though you really eat too much sweets and she doesn’t think you’ll ever get a man if you don’t watch your weight.) If you have to put up with the passive aggressive abuse, at least get something out of it.
Yes, how could I ever take care of myself? For infantilizing me before, they now certainly have no worries about my medical condition or how I am managing life. Oops, this is probably not the forum for this. Not sure if you know about it, but the Out of the Fog forums (for people with Personality Disorder family members) have been a great help to me- everyone is very supportive on their and unfortunately very helpful from ample experience.
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Autumn_Smoke
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TOBaddict
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My parent and I had our first therapy session scheduled for the end of the week. When I had my appointment with my therapist today, he said that my parents called and cancelled. Wait! What? They didn’t even tell me, nor give any indication that they were unhappy with going to the session. Of course, I am not surprised that they cancelled. I am just mostly taken aback that they didn’t lash out and say tell me they were cancelling because it’s obvious they aren’t going to reconcile. Also wondering if they were ever going to tell me, or if I’d show up to the office and they wouldn’t be there…
Anyway, time for the big event. Finally going home hopefully tomorrow or the next day to gather my things. Prayers please, for the same intentions.
Anyway, time for the big event. Finally going home hopefully tomorrow or the next day to gather my things. Prayers please, for the same intentions.
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TOBaddict
Guest
UPDATE: I called my township and they said they don’t do police escorts without a court order. But, I wouldn’t be able to get one because there is no documented abuse.
So, one of my guy friends volunteered to help! I am especially worried now that I have someone I care about involved, but I don’t any other choice. I texted my mom to tell her I needed some things and asked her when she’d be home. Some worries I have: 1) she won’t answer the text because it’s not “convenient to her” 2) that they won’t let us in the house 3) that my things were already thrown away- I can’t afford to replace them 4) that they will take things out on my friend- but he can call the police.
Extra prayers, please, for the safety of me, especially my friend. He is doing me a huge favor, and I’m going to be really upset if my parents waste him time and not let us in the house to get my things.
So, one of my guy friends volunteered to help! I am especially worried now that I have someone I care about involved, but I don’t any other choice. I texted my mom to tell her I needed some things and asked her when she’d be home. Some worries I have: 1) she won’t answer the text because it’s not “convenient to her” 2) that they won’t let us in the house 3) that my things were already thrown away- I can’t afford to replace them 4) that they will take things out on my friend- but he can call the police.
Extra prayers, please, for the safety of me, especially my friend. He is doing me a huge favor, and I’m going to be really upset if my parents waste him time and not let us in the house to get my things.
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Autumn_Smoke
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