Greetings,
I take offense to this. One I am an ex-Muslim. I say, Al Hamdullah that I left Islam. I was once a Traditional Sunni Muslim and I left that and now I am an Orthodox Christian.
In a CD set by Shaykh Hamza Yusuf entitled, The Vision of Islam he says,
**“Anyone who looks at Islam will look at it through filters. Muslims will look at their religion in variably defensively because they believe in it, whether they really understand the religious tradition or not. There are some Muslims out there that I think that if they found out what their religion said, they might even leave their religion because it is inconsistent with their view of the world. **There are other Muslims and I think it is the vast majority of them that it would only strengthen their conviction in their religion, the more they got to know their religion. There are some non-Muslims if they studied Islam they would convert to Islam, there are others ones that it would actually increase their belligerence toward Islam, and then there are other ones that they would not convert but they would have a deep respect for the tradition. So everybody brings filters to whatever they look at.”
Now, read what Shaykh Hamza Yusuf said, **“There are some Muslims out there that I think that if they found out what their religion said, they might even leave their religion because it is inconsistent with their view of the world.” **
That was me, 100%, the more I learned about Islam, the more I felt Islam wasn’t for me. I don’t hate Islam, it is just not a religion for me. I was a very devout Muslim, I prayed five times a day, I even prayed Tahajjah (night prayer), I would pray any place at the right time. I would say for at least the last 4 years of my Islamic life, God gave me the tawfiq never to miss a prayer within its prescribed time, except with a valid excuse. I even lost my job because I was Muslim, I use to pray at work. So I prayed to God that I would be able to pray at work without people knowing, and for two years at my previous job, I prayed at work without them even knowing, God concealed my praying. Once however, someone saw me praying from a far and they thought I was throwing up, so they called the building I was working at, I told them I was looking at a bug, (you know how you go into ruku back to the standing position than to the sujud.) I guess it looked like I was throwing up, from a far.
I am quite knowledgeable about Islam. I would even say, I probably know more about Islam than most Muslims. I would even say, that most Muslims remain muslim, because they don’t practice everything Islam teaches. If they forced themselve to practice the religion as it has been taught and preserved from century to century until this time, most Muslims would probably leave to.
Most of my Muslim friends who are still Muslim, remain Muslim because they didn’t practice Islam the way I did. I did not listen to music, I did not eat non-zabiha meat, I spent most of my time at the masjid, I use to give classes at the masjid. I hardly watched TV. I would only go out to a movie when another Muslim asked me, but I thought it was Haraam, because music was played at movies, they would make excuses as to why Music was permissible. In movies they use to show haraam women. I had very little friends, but I did not like to be around alot of haram things.
However because of my devout religious practice, muslims in my community use to love me. When I lost my job because I was Muslim, a Muslim came to me and offered to pay me a salary while I was in school and/or until I get back on my feet. My car broke down and the muslim community bought me a car and plus gave me some money. This doesn’t happen to many Muslim converts, but it happened to me. This is a good thing.
But as time went on, I left Islam because it was not for me.
And I really understand Islam, at a much deeper level than most Muslims.
In Christ,
Silouan
