Must a Catholic have a funeral?

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abcdxyz

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I’ve also posted this in Ask an Apologist, but thought I could get the consensus opinion here also.

I’ve been a Catholic convert for 3 years. I have never wanted a funeral for myself when I pass (not that it will ultimately be my decision!). I want to have my body cremated and my ashes buried with no service. A Catholic co-worker says, "You’re a Catholic now. . . " and insists that a funeral service is necessary for–some reason she can’t really articulate. What do you all think?

Thanks!
 
It’s certainly beneficial for loved ones left behind. When the funeral happens, it’s presumably too late to change your salvation status (although, attendees might be inspired to do something meriting indulgence which may have an impact on any time spent in Purgatory - if you’re into that sort of thing ;))

So, no. I don’t think it’s required.
 
I’d say you would want one. The mass will help your soul if you find yourself in purgatory. I think the funeral mass is very important.
 
The Mass is a treasure. It doesn’t have to be an expensive funeral, but I know I definitely want a Mass!

It was wonderful when my husband died and all our children and most grandchildren were at the funeral Mass. Some of them did readings. It is a special time for family and good friends to get together.
 
Funerals are for the survivors, not you! No offense, but you will be dead (physically), but your family and loved ones left behind need it to say goodbye, for closure, etc.
 
Catholic90 said:
Funerals are for the survivors, not you! No offense, but you will be dead (physically), but your family and loved ones left behind need it to say goodbye, for closure, etc.
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Amen to that, however…

The funeral is a Catholic rite in three parta: the wake, the Mass, and the burial. Each or all may be omitted. The funeral is not a part of the Sacrament of Last Rites.
 
abcdxyz said:
I’ve also posted this in Ask an Apologist, but thought I could get the consensus opinion here also.

I’ve been a Catholic convert for 3 years. I have never wanted a funeral for myself when I pass (not that it will ultimately be my decision!). I want to have my body cremated and my ashes buried with no service. A Catholic co-worker says, "You’re a Catholic now. . . " and insists that a funeral service is necessary for–some reason she can’t really articulate. What do you all think?

Thanks!
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Why wouldn’t you want a Mass prayed for you? Your resting place properly prepared for by the church?
 
abcdxyz said:
I’ve also posted this in Ask an Apologist, but thought I could get the consensus opinion here also.

I’ve been a Catholic convert for 3 years. I have never wanted a funeral for myself when I pass (not that it will ultimately be my decision!). I want to have my body cremated and my ashes buried with no service. A Catholic co-worker says, "You’re a Catholic now. . . " and insists that a funeral service is necessary for–some reason she can’t really articulate. What do you all think?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
You certainly don’t have to have a funeral. Your family could have masses said for you anytime. I don’t want one either. If you have a will you can have it state:

“I DIRECT that my remains be cremated and that no funeral services be held on my behalf.” And that leaves people with no choice, they HAVE to follow a directive in your will. It also helps to have family clued in on your wishes.

Again they could always have masses said in your memory so I always felt it was unnecessary.

Lorrie
 
I can say that I am all for skipping a funeral. I never ever attend any family member’s funeral. Everyone in my family knows how I feel about this. I don’t want one, don’t need one. I don’t need to have a bunch of people showing off their clothing and seeing how many people showed up. Instead of sitting at a funeral I go to my local parish and have a mass or two said for them.

Say masses for me please, but can the funeral. I have always felt that when a grandparent died I can simply sit alone and think about memories and pray for them. I do NOT want my last view to be of them in a box.

They aren’t their, thank God, they are with Jesus.
 
abcdxyz said:
I’ve also posted this in Ask an Apologist, but thought I could get the consensus opinion here also.

I’ve been a Catholic convert for 3 years. I have never wanted a funeral for myself when I pass (not that it will ultimately be my decision!). I want to have my body cremated and my ashes buried with no service. A Catholic co-worker says, "You’re a Catholic now. . . " and insists that a funeral service is necessary for–some reason she can’t really articulate. What do you all think?

Thanks!
Click to expand...
Traditionally, in Roman Catholicism, Orthodox Judaism and Eastern Orthodoxy (the 3 oldest Judeo-Christian faiths), cremation is forbidden because it appears to deny the Resurrection and originated in paganism. I think in all three faiths you can avoid a funeral if you want (many religious Jews just have a graveside service which is very brief).

My mother had been raised Roman Catholic “in the old days”, but converted to Orthodox Judaism in the 1940s, and then she met and married my father (who was also Jewish). The plan was always that she and my father would be buried in the family plot in the Jewish cemetery, alongside my grandparents.

However, a few days before she died, my mother reconciled with the Church, and received Extreme Unction (the Last Rites); this was a few years ago.

But because the cemetery plot was already owned, I had no choice but to go ahead and bury her in the Jewish cemetery alongside my dad.

She did not have a funeral, because, quite frankly, I didn’t know what to do considering her deathbed return to the Church! So she died a Roman Catholic, with the Last Rites, but is buried in a Jewish (Orthodox yet!) cemetery. No Catholic (or any) funeral. 🤷
 
Just for the record, cremation is permitted in the Catholic Church as long as it is not done to show one doesn’t believe in the resurrection. ]

It is not recommended, but it is permitted.
 
Irishgal49 said:
You certainly don’t have to have a funeral. Your family could have masses said for you anytime. I don’t want one either. If you have a will you can have it state:

“I DIRECT that my remains be cremated and that no funeral services be held on my behalf.” And that leaves people with no choice, they HAVE to follow a directive in your will. It also helps to have family clued in on your wishes.

Again they could always have masses said in your memory so I always felt it was unnecessary.

Lorrie
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Here’s the thing about putting your funeral (or there lack of) arrangements in your will. The will is read after you’re buried.
 
Love_Divine said:
Here’s the thing about putting your funeral (or there lack of) arrangements in your will. The will is read after you’re buried.
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Not always. This is where talking to your family is very important. My kids have a copy of mine. They already know what I want and don’t want.
 
Miserissima said:
Amen to that, however…

The funeral is a Catholic rite in three parts: the wake, the Mass, and the burial. Each or all may be omitted. The funeral is not a part of the Sacrament of Last Rites.
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The second part is the Funeral Rite, which doesn’t have to be within Mass.
 
SonCatcher said:
It’s certainly beneficial for loved ones left behind. When the funeral happens, it’s presumably too late to change your salvation status (although, attendees might be inspired to do something meriting indulgence which may have an impact on any time spent in Purgatory - if you’re into that sort of thing ;))

So, no. I don’t think it’s required.
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For the sake of your soul, you need one. You will realize this eventually.
 
Catholic90 said:
Funerals are for the survivors, not you! No offense, but you will be dead (physically), but your family and loved ones left behind need it to say goodbye, for closure, etc.
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I second this. I know I needed the funeral mass when my dad died. It provided the closure I needed. Now having the masses said for my dad, my mom gets more out of attending those than I do. I don’t attend those.

When my uncle died, he and his family felt similar as some of the posters have stated about not wanting or needing a funeral mass, so they didn’t have one. A few years later, my cousin said recently how much she and her mother, my aunt, regret that decision. My other cousin, her brother, still feels they made the right decision, but for the ones that regret not having the funeral mass, they’ve said its like there never has been a beginning, a middle and an end to the grieving process. They eventually got grief counseling to help them move on, but they agree that the funeral mass certainly would have helped.
 
Catholic90 said:
Funerals are for the survivors, not you! No offense, but you will be dead (physically), but your family and loved ones left behind need it to say goodbye, for closure, etc.
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Actually, the funeral is primarily for the deceased, and for his/her soul.
 
PatriceA said:
I second this. I know I needed the funeral mass when my dad died. It provided the closure I needed. Now having the masses said for my dad, my mom gets more out of attending those than I do. I don’t attend those.

When my uncle died, he and his family felt similar as some of the posters have stated about not wanting or needing a funeral mass, so they didn’t have one. A few years later, my cousin said recently how much she and her mother, my aunt, regret that decision. My other cousin, her brother, still feels they made the right decision, but for the ones that regret not having the funeral mass, they’ve said its like there never has been a beginning, a middle and an end to the grieving process. They eventually got grief counseling to help them move on, but they agree that the funeral mass certainly would have helped.
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Actually, we forget one thing: the funeral rites are as much for the deceased as they are for the survivors. Within the funeral rites, the Church provides suffrage for the repose of the deceased. That is first and foremost. Why would we want to deny our loved ones (and, ourselves at our death) that precious means of spiritual comfort?
 
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