Must I follow the advice priest gave me during Confession?

[chasingcars]

The thing is, the last time I went to Confession the priest gave me some advice that I really wouldn’t like to follow. It would be really difficult and unpleasant to do so and I don’t think it’d help, actually it could probably make things even worse.
I know the priest was right but seriously, is it mandatory for me to do what he told me to do?

 

[peter26]

Was it penance or was it advice? If it was just advice, then no it is not mandatory.

 

[Tis_Bearself]

The thing is, the last time I went to Confession the priest gave me some advice that I really wouldn’t like to follow. It would be really difficult and unpleasant to do so and I don’t think it’d help, actually it could probably make things even worse.
I know the priest was right but seriously, is it mandatory for me to do what he told me to do?

It’s not mandatory, as the other person said.
But if you “know the priest was right” then why would you not want to follow his advice, no matter how difficult and unpleasant it would be? Don’t you want to do what you “know” is “right”?

 

[po18guy]

Oftentimes, the more unpleasant it would be, the more it reflects God’s will. If it is a penance, just do it. If not, think seriously about doing it. To follow Christ is first to deny yourself and what you want or desire.

 

[poche]

Sometimes there is the truth that we really don’t want to hear. Best to listen now in this life than to regret it later in the next.

 

[chasingcars]

It’s not mandatory, as the other person said.
But if you “know the priest was right” then why would you not want to follow his advice, no matter how difficult and unpleasant it would be? Don’t you want to do what you “know” is “right”?

I know it’d be the right thing to do but I just feel like I can’t and it’s waaaaay too difficult for me. I’m happy it wasn’t my penance and I guess I’ll just skip it if it’s not mandatory.

 

[Usige]

Certainly not mandatory, but also remember that your confessor is also like the physician for your soul.

Last week my pastor was talking about going to the doctor’s and then ignoring everything the doctor tells you. If you simply ignore the doctor, but pay the bill you are simply taking a gamble on the illness improving.

It reminds me of my son after knee surgery. He would go to physical therapy, but never wanted to do any exercises between exercises because they hurt. Finally his surgeon and physical therapist sat down and said that he wasn’t improving and that the pain and stiffness would likely get worse if he didn’t work on it outside of PT appointments. It took him almost 10 weeks to come off crutches. He had a similar surgery on his other knee the following year and did (most) of what the therapist told him. He was off the crutches in 6 weeks and pain pills after 8-10 days.

Long and short is to look past the concern to the potential longterm good. A little pain today might be worth avoiding lingering effects that could last months, years, or a lifetime.

 

[petra22]

The thing is, the last time I went to Confession the priest gave me some advice that I really wouldn’t like to follow. It would be really difficult and unpleasant to do so and I don’t think it’d help, actually it could probably make things even worse.
I know the priest was right but seriously, is it mandatory for me to do what he told me to do?

Just going from your post, I thought the priest was acting in place of Jesus when he was in the confessional. So unless you have a very good reason NOT to follow his advice…?

 

[omgriley]

Concerning the whole “mandatory” “not mandatory” thing: You do not need confess to that priest if you disagree with prescribed penance. If you confess, and you do not like his penance, kindly say “Thank you, Father. But I’d rather see a different priest about this.”

Simple as that.

 

[steve_b]

I know it’d be the right thing to do but I just feel like I can’t and it’s waaaaay too difficult for me. I’m happy it wasn’t my penance and I guess I’ll just skip it if it’s not mandatory.

I’m curious, what is this advice that is sooooo difficult to do so you won’t do it, but it’s the right thing to do?

 

[Blessedwithfive]

I’m curious, what is this advice that is sooooo difficult to do so you won’t do it, but it’s the right thing to do?

I so wanted to ask that too…

 

[Edmundus1581]

The short and simple answer to a direct question:

Must I follow the advice priest gave me during Confession?

No. You are not obliged. Advice is just that - advice, not a direction.

If in any doubt, however, you can ask the priest at the time “Are you obliging me to do this?”. I have done that a couple of times, and both times the answer was “No”. If you didn’t clarify it at the time then you can go back to him, hopefully only a week later, and ask. It’s unlikely that the recommended action can’t wait a week.

In general, I think that priests don’t even expect their advice to be obligatory so don’t bother qualifying it with “You don’t have to do this”.

As I mentioned, I have been in this situation a couple of times, where the advice involved disclosing my sin to another person. The first time I accepted the advice, after clarifying that it was not obligatory, and the situation blew up in my face in a terrible way. In hindsight, I would not have disclosed my sin to this person. The second time, after clarifying that the advice was not obligatory, I simply told the priest “I’ll think about it, but I probably won’t do it”. He continued with the absolution.

 

[chasingcars]

I’m curious, what is this advice that is sooooo difficult to do so you won’t do it, but it’s the right thing to do?

The priest said I should talk to someone why I’m being so sad. I didn’t tell him I was sad but he still figured it out somehow and told me to talk to someone. And because I was stupid I said I would do it.

 

[steve_b]

The priest said I should talk to someone why I’m being so sad. I didn’t tell him I was sad but he still figured it out somehow and told me to talk to someone.

Something must have triggered concern in the priest for your well being in the matter talked about in confession… true?

chasingcars:

And because I was stupid I said I would do it.

When He said for you to talk to that “someone”, it sounds like that “someone” is a person you don’t want to talk to.

 

[millstreet]

Talk to a professional, or someone who is the reason you are so sad?

 

[Oneofthewomen]

The priest said I should talk to someone why I’m being so sad. I didn’t tell him I was sad but he still figured it out somehow and told me to talk to someone. And because I was stupid I said I would do it.

Why would you not want to talk to someone? If you are sad or struggling with something, and the priest could sense it, advising you to see a counselor (which is what I am assuming he did) is very sound advice.

Why would you think it is “stupid”?

We all need help sometimes. I will pray for you.

 

[poche]

The thing is, the last time I went to Confession the priest gave me some advice that I really wouldn’t like to follow. It would be really difficult and unpleasant to do so and I don’t think it’d help, actually it could probably make things even worse.
I know the priest was right but seriously, is it mandatory for me to do what he told me to do?

If you know the priest was right then you should do it. Sometimes the medicine tastes bad but it is good for you. So it is with medicine for the soul.

 

[chasingcars]

Something must have triggered concern in the priest for your well being in the matter talked about in confession… true?

When He said for you to talk to that “someone”, it sounds like that “someone” is a person you don’t want to talk to.

He didn’t tell me to talk to any particular person, he let me choose that person myself.
And I don’t think it was anything that I confessed that made him feel like there was something wrong but he said that I sounded sad.

 

[Oneofthewomen]

The priest said I should talk to someone why I’m being so sad. I didn’t tell him I was sad but he still figured it out somehow and told me to talk to someone. And because I was stupid I said I would do it.

He didn’t tell me to talk to any particular person, he let me choose that person myself.
And I don’t think it was anything that I confessed that made him feel like there was something wrong but he said that I sounded sad.

Are you sad? Obviously, there was something that made the priest say what he did.
Why would you be so resistant to talk to someone, that you even use the word “stupid”?

These are questions you need to answer for yourself. Maybe ask the priest why he said what he said if you don’t think what he said applies to you and your situation.

Peace and prayers for you.