Must we forgive the unrepentant?

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I had always assumed that as Christians we are required to forgive those who have injured / offended us even if they do not seek our forgiveness. Recently, however, I heard a Catholic apologist who disagreed. He said we are only required to forgive the repentant - i.e., those who seek our forgiveness. He cited LK 17:3-4: If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, ‘I am sorry,’ you should forgive him.” To me, this passage seems to support the view that we must extend forgiveness to the repentant, but it doesn’t really go so far as to say we can withhold forgiveness from the unrepentant. It was also suggested by the apologist I heard that a requirement that we forgive the unrepentant would ask us to do more even than God, because God does not forgive the unrepentant.

What is the correct Catholic position? Can anyone shed more light on this?

Thanks.
 
I will give my views, with the caveat that I have gotten a lot of flak in the past for them.

Does God forgive us, if we are unrepentant?

Does God expect us to do for others what he does not do for us?

On the other hand, when someone sins against us and is unrepentant about it, it is still not healthy to hang on to that offense and stew about it.

On the other hand, if we pray, “And forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us,” and mean it, and if we automatically forgive all offenses against us, whether the offenders are repentant or not, do we have a similar claim on God, to automatically forgive us?

Does anyone have a third hand?
 
When we pray the Our Father we say “forgive us our trespasses as we forgive those who trespass against us” It says nothing about whether or not those people have asked for forgiveness. The section on forgiveness in the CCC talks about the power and grace of forgiveness but again says nothing about whether the other person has repented.

Forgiveness is really for ourselves. It’s the opposite of hanging on to an injury done by another, which can fester and do even more emotional, spiritual or even psychological harm. If the other person does feel guilty, then forgiveness is for them too. But I think it’s first of all for ourselves.

PS I guess Dave Bj posted his answer while I was still formulating mine so there are similar thoughts. He does have a point, that God doesn’t forgive us unless we repent. But very often the person who hurts us either is unaware, uncaring, or past repenting (i.e. dead). In that case, forgiveness is for us, as I said before. No third hand unfortunately 😛
 
This is one of those things where people are trying to look for some loophole somewhere to justify themselves. Would have thought the answer is obvious. It is just hard to do in practice but once you’ve done it, you feel free again.
 
Thanks for the replies.

I suppose I am not asking about what is healthier or makes us feel better, but rather what is required of us. I had always been taught that we are required to forgive others whether or not they are repentant, and that refusal to do so puts one’s own salvation in jeopardy. With respect to God’s forgiveness, my understanding had been that he always offers forgiveness, to everyone, even the unrepentant. So he always forgives, but one must claim that forgiveness by repenting in order to be saved.

So I suppose there are two ways of looking at this:
  1. God always forgives, whether or not I am repentant. But I can only claim, or access, that forgiveness by repenting. It would naturally follow that I am required to do the same as God (not more than him) by offering forgiveness to others even if they are unrepentant.
  2. God forgives the repentant, but not the unrepentant. In this view, I would likewise not be required to forgive the unrepentant (because I would not be asked to do more than even God would do).
Any Scripture citations that bear on this would be helpful.

I don’t see a clear-cut answer in the Catechism but I am quite possibly not looking in the right place. Paragraph 1864 says “There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit.” This speaks of mercy, which is not precisely the same as forgiveness but seems to support view #1, above.

I may be mistaken, but am pretty sure that Jimmy Akin was taking position #2 on Catholic Answers live. That’s what caused me to pose this question. Thanks.
 
Yes even the unrepentant must be forgiven because Our Lord forgive us for sins and even those who nailed Him to the cross.

To not forgive them is offensive to Christ and we will given the same amount of mercy we have given others at our judgement
 
If the answer is not clear, start from “love one another” and build on that.

Or start from the premise that we need not forgive, and see if it contradicts love.
 
I think the answer is yes. It seems that Scripture did not impose any conditions on forgiving those who injure us and that the requirement to forgive is absolute.

This is not true for God. God has made it clear that for him to remit sin, the sinner must first repent. Of course, repentance itself is due to grace (which is unmerited), so more precisely speaking, the sinner must respond to that grace and repent before God will forgive him.
 
DonCampbell said:
Thanks for the replies.

I suppose I am not asking about what is healthier or makes us feel better, but rather what is required of us. I had always been taught that we are required to forgive others whether or not they are repentant, and that refusal to do so puts one’s own salvation in jeopardy. With respect to God’s forgiveness, my understanding had been that he always offers forgiveness, to everyone, even the unrepentant. So he always forgives, but one must claim that forgiveness by repenting in order to be saved.

So I suppose there are two ways of looking at this:
  1. God always forgives, whether or not I am repentant. But I can only claim, or access, that forgiveness by repenting. It would naturally follow that I am required to do the same as God (not more than him) by offering forgiveness to others even if they are unrepentant.
  2. God forgives the repentant, but not the unrepentant. In this view, I would likewise not be required to forgive the unrepentant (because I would not be asked to do more than even God would do).
Any Scripture citations that bear on this would be helpful.

I don’t see a clear-cut answer in the Catechism but I am quite possibly not looking in the right place. Paragraph 1864 says “There are no limits to the mercy of God, but anyone who deliberately refuses to accept his mercy by repenting, rejects the forgiveness of his sins and the salvation offered by the Holy Spirit.” This speaks of mercy, which is not precisely the same as forgiveness but seems to support view #1, above.

I may be mistaken, but am pretty sure that Jimmy Akin was taking position #2 on Catholic Answers live. That’s what caused me to pose this question. Thanks.
Click to expand...
#1 is correct. Even Jimmy Akin is wrong sometimes. But I forgive him. 😉
 
DonCampbell said:
Thanks for the replies.

I suppose I am not asking about what is healthier or makes us feel better, but rather what is required of us.
Click to expand...
Recall the parable of the talents (Mt 25:14-30). A person who forgives those who do not ask for it could easily be in the position of the first two servants who bring back to their master more than they were given to watch over, but a person who only forgives those who ask it of them have a striking resemblance to the third servant who did only what was specifically required of him.

Another way of looking at it is harboring the feeling against the person who does not ask for forgiveness is a cancer to your soul. It will eat and eat and eat at your soul until you are consumed by it. Forgiveness, on the other hand, unburdens the soul and leads to peace and joy.

Remember God forgives all those who repent, and waits patiently for those who have not yet come to repentance - he does not abandon them. So wait patiently with forgiveness in your heart for your brother or sister who has wronged you and not yet sought forgiveness.
 
It is not for us to withhold forgiveness. God never gave us the scales, as Amy Grant once said.

God does offer forgiveness to everybody, but you have to repent to participate in that forgiveness.

ICXC NIKA
 
It might be worth adding to the question, does forgiving necessarily mean forgetting?

In other words, if someone close to us deeply injures us, and we choose to forgive, letting go of the bitterness, animosity, and wish that person peace and conversion, do we necessarily need to restore the same relationship we had with the person before the incident?
 
Johnny_Local said:
It might be worth adding to the question, does forgiving necessarily mean forgetting?

In other words, if someone close to us deeply injures us, and we choose to forgive, letting go of the bitterness, animosity, and wish that person peace and conversion, do we necessarily need to restore the same relationship we had with the person before the incident?
Click to expand...
Not necessarily, sometimes just for the sake of our mind we have to avoid getting hurt again.
 
I do not forgive the unrepentant. I think God laid out pretty clear what one must do to be forgiven. And we are told we will be forgiven as we forgive. And since I will be judged by the same standard I have no problem not forgiving the unrepentant. I will not be forgiven if I am not repentant. So of course that is the standard God has set up.
 
Jesus answered this in the Bible; “If you do not forgive your brethren their trespasses against you, then neither will your Heavenly Father forgive you your trespasses against Him.”

Likewise, a pastor in Africa had a near death experience within recent years, he was told that his judgement was hell, because that morning he had refused to forgive his wife about something. God gave him a second chance and doctors revived him.

A guy in the charismatic renewal healing ministry in Ireland was told by God to tell many people who came to him, “If you do not forgive, you cannot get into Heaven. God cannot forgive you if you do not forgive.” that it is in the Our Father, “Forgive us, as we forgive others.”

Read “The Miracle Ship” by Brian O’ Hare, about John Gillespie, a Catholic in the charismatic renewal healing and deliverance ministry in Northern Ireland, available on the Amazon.com kindle book download.
A lot of testimonies of people who needed to forgive.
 
Let us get real here. I am walking down the street and a person comes out and beats me about the head and shoulders and steals my wallet. He does not feel sorry for what he did and in fact revel in his ability to hurt and steal. According to you I must forgive him for what he has done to me. Correct? Has God forgiven him for what he has done? Be sure to answer this question. If he is unrepentant and I have forgiven him and God has not forgiven him I am not better than God? Maybe my understanding of how the word forgive is used in this context. If God always forgives the unrepentant why be good?
 
DonCampbell said:
I had always assumed that as Christians we are required to forgive those who have injured / offended us even if they do not seek our forgiveness. Recently, however, I heard a Catholic apologist who disagreed. He said we are only required to forgive the repentant - i.e., those who seek our forgiveness. He cited LK 17:3-4: If your brother sins, rebuke him; and if he repents, forgive him. 4 And if he wrongs you seven times in one day and returns to you seven times saying, ‘I am sorry,’ you should forgive him.” To me, this passage seems to support the view that we must extend forgiveness to the repentant, but it doesn’t really go so far as to say we can withhold forgiveness from the unrepentant. It was also suggested by the apologist I heard that a requirement that we forgive the unrepentant would ask us to do more even than God, because God does not forgive the unrepentant.

What is the correct Catholic position? Can anyone shed more light on this?

Thanks.
Click to expand...
I don’t know about the “correct Catholic opinion” on this… I wasn’t made aware that any of these issues were ever set in stone, though I do believe we ought follow the Catachism. Perhaps someone else can provide quotes from the Catachism, but I can provide some Scripture that might help…

Matthew 7:6 "Do not give dogs what is sacred; do not throw your pearls to pigs. If you do, they may trample them under their feet, and turn and tear you to pieces.
  • Is forgiveness sacred? * Are we to be like Jesus, who first loved us even in our sin? How does a believer first approach God… after he realizes his wrongs and asks for forgiveness, or after he realizes God is his buddy that should forgive him just because he is God after all?
From the Our Father prayer… “Forgive us our trespasses, as we forgive those who trespass against us”

Proverbs 9:8
Do not rebuke mockers or they will hate you; rebuke the wise and they will love you.

Matthew 15:26
He replied, “It is not right to take the children’s bread and toss it to the dogs.”

Revelation 22:15
Outside are the dogs, those who practice magic arts, the sexually immoral, the murderers, the idolaters and everyone who loves and practices falsehood.

Matthew 18:15 "If another believer sins against you, go privately and point out the offense. If the other person listens and confesses it, you have won that person back.

Galatians 6:1
Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

2 Thessalonians 3:15
Yet do not regard them as an enemy, but warn them as you would a fellow believer.

Titus 3:10
Warn a divisive person once, and then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them.

James 5:19
My brothers and sisters, if one of you should wander from the truth and someone should bring that person back,

Do onto others as you would like them to do onto you.
 
It should be noted that we are told we can’t judge a person’s circumstance.

Jesus said to the pharisees that ‘prostitutes and tax collectors’ would be going to heaven before them. He also said that anyone who holds anger in their hearts towards another person can go to hell. Unforgiveness can breed bitterness, which is probably what a lot of those pharisees that Jesus was talking to held in their hearts… so angry that there were so many people did not listen to them. It smashes the ability to love as Jesus said we are to love even our enemy. So in that case, extending forgiveness is necessary… however I think its more of a matter of being PRUDENT… which means right timing, right circumstance. There are many stories of people who were being held at gunpoint, whose love of God shone through their hearts towards and for the perpetrator, in which defeated Satan within that person.

So its kind of Yes, and No. Yes, you do have to in your heart. No you don’t actually have to go up to them and say “I forgive you” when they’ve wronged and not asked for forgiveness.
It would not be prudent to say "I forgive you" to someone who is enjoying hurting you. Though, I'm reminded right now of St. Maria Goretti? Did she say something like that when she was attacked? I know she spoke of God and warned of sin's effect.
 
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